A Little Harmless Addiction

by Melissa Schroeder

  “Yes. I don’t know a lot of people. And Cynthia gets up so early and with being pregnant, she needs her rest. I will be on the same schedule soon, but heck, I didn’t want to eat dinner by myself.”

  Some of the fight seemed to go out of him. “I’m sorry I haven’t been attentive enough.”

  She heard the guilt in his voice. Years ago, she would have used it to get what she wanted. She was a Dupree and they were a single-minded group. But she realized she felt better not dealing with him every day. Jocelyn loved being close to him, but she had her limits.

  “No, it isn’t that.” She settled in the chair in front of his desk. “Don’t worry. I don’t need a sitter, Chris. I’m doing okay.”

  He studied her for a long moment. “Are you taking your meds?”

  She shook her head and his frown came back. “I went off them before I came, with the help of Doctor Sawyer. She agreed I didn’t need them. I have them if I should have to go back on, but right now, I am pretty happy with the way I’m progressing.”

  “I would feel better if you were taking it easier.”

  She snorted. “You would feel better if you could lock me in a room and have me stay there until you felt better about what happened.”

  “That isn’t it at all.”

  She could tell from his expression he wasn’t going to be able to deal with it. Not today, and probably not tomorrow. Chris hadn’t been there, but he had known there was something wrong. He had called her a lot during all the problems and had even come to town. But being Queen Jocelyn, she had wanted to handle it herself. And paid the price.

  “I understand you want to protect me, but I’m not fragile. I had a bad run of luck.”

  “You were almost raped. And by someone you trusted.”

  He didn’t say it, but she could sense that he was blaming her. While she knew her brother loved her, and he understood it wasn’t her fault, there was probably a tiny part of him mad at her for scaring the hell out of him. That she understood. It was his way of dealing with the fear, the worry. But she was sick of having that guilt heaped on her. They both needed to move on.

  “I’m going to have dinner with Kai, his brother, his father and grandfather. And unless the family is into sharing, I doubt very much anything else is going to happen.”

  He crossed his arms over his chest. “I still don’t like it.”

  She straightened her shoulders and lifted her chin. “I don’t really care.”

  He opened his mouth when the door behind her opened. Cynthia stuck her head through the crack. “Is there anyone wounded in here?”

  His expression softened when he looked at his wife-to-be. For the first time ever, a sharp shard of jealousy hit Jocelyn. It had never bothered her before, but now it hurt to see them together. She wasn’t sure if she would ever have what they have, be able to trust someone the way they seemed to trust each other. She pushed it aside and turned to greet her savior.

  “No, but it was close. I would have left my niece or nephew without a father.”

  Cynthia laughed and stepped into the office. “I thought it would be better if I came back here and saved him from himself.”

  Chris walked around the desk and took Cynthia by the elbow. The exaggerated care giving had Cynthia tossing Jocelyn an amused look. Jocelyn would’ve liked to help her, but with part of his focus on Cynthia and the baby, Jocelyn hoped he would lose some interest in her.

  “I told you to nap today,” he admonished.

  “I did. What am I supposed to do? Stay in bed all day?”

  “Yes.”

  She laughed as she sat in one of the chairs in front of his desk. “I am only six weeks pregnant. I think that is being a little overprotective. Besides, it isn’t that much fun in bed by myself.”

  Chris glanced in her direction and she was sure she saw a rise in color in his cheeks. It still amused her that Chris would get embarrassed in front of her. Still, she knew a reprieve when she saw one. Jocelyn used Chris’s preoccupation with his pregnant fiancée to slip out of there.

  “I gotta get going.” She leaned over and kissed Cynthia on the cheek and did the same with her brother. “I’ll see ya later.”

  Before he could say anything, she slipped out the door and hurried down the hall to the restaurant. There she found May working the hostess stand.

  “Hey, sistah. I heard you were being subjected to the males in my family for dinner.”

  Jocelyn sighed. “Does everyone know what I am doing? This is worse than New Orleans.”

  May smiled, her blue eyes dancing. “This is Oahu. Everyone knows everyone here. It’s a little big town. And since a lot of the Hawaiians are related, even in the most convoluted ways, we all act like one big family.”

  “So you gossip about each other.”

  She leaned on the stand. “Got to have something to pass the time.”

  Jocelyn laughed.

  “I guess the boss isn’t happy with you dating my brother.”

  Jocelyn shook her head. “No. My brother isn’t happy with me seeing any man.”

  May nodded. “I understand.”

  Irritation whipped through Jocelyn. “Why would you understand something like that?”

  “I didn’t say I agreed with it. I just said I understand. When you’re the oldest, you worry. Kai is just as bad.”

  “Your brother? Mr. Laid-back?”

  “Uh, yeah. I’m not sure, but I think he threatened Evan. Not really overtly, probably just something like, if you hurt her, I’ll make the body disappear.”

  Jocelyn shook her head. “I can’t see that. I mean, I can see that he would be protective and it is easy to see he has a good relationship with you.”

  May threw her head back and laughed. “I scare the hell out of him. As I do all of them, so if you go over there and the house isn’t picked up, let me know. I swear, I moved in with Evan and they all think they can just forget about cleaning. It’s embarrassing.”

  Jocelyn wanted to ask more about Kai, but she didn’t want to push it. There was definitely something in his past that his sister didn’t want to talk about, and at the moment, Jocelyn wasn’t too sure she wanted to know. She wasn’t sure she had the ability even to have a relationship.

  “I gotta get going or I’ll be late.”

  “Night, Jocelyn.”

  She headed out, enjoying the sweet breeze that surrounded her as soon as she stepped out of the restaurant. Growing up, she had liked being outdoors, but in recent years, she had been working so hard that she hadn’t been able to enjoy it. But as she walked to the parking lot, she took in the approaching Hawaiian night. The days were gorgeous, but the nights, they left her sighing. No matter how hot it was, the cool air moved in, allowing her to watch the sun set, to walk down the street and enjoy the hum of the island life at night. There were times that nights during the summer had been unbearable when she had lived in Atlanta. She slipped into her car and was happy to roll the window down. As she headed down Kuhio Street, she smiled. God, was there another city in the world with as much natural beauty as Honolulu? Palm trees swayed from the gentle night breezes against the backdrop of high rises. But she never felt trapped here as she had in Atlanta.

  She frowned when she came to a red light. She had never thought of her old home that way before, but now, she started to think of the last few months there and apparently she had. Was it that she didn’t like living there, or the situation with Greg? It also had the double factor of harboring memories of Mike. The relationship had such promise in the beginning. They had both been new to Atlanta and had spent all their time exploring together. When everything had fallen apart, living in the city physically hurt. She couldn’t go anywhere without seeing him and knowing what she had lost.

  She waited for the pain and humiliation to hit her like it always did when she thought about Mike. But only the simple twist of loss was there. Did everything that happened with Greg amplify it? It saddened her that less than a year after her breakup from Mike she really
didn’t feel much for him. He was a man she’d loved, moved in with, and they had actually been discussing marriage. When Greg had started stalking her, the normal arguments couples have had amplified into screaming matches. For a short time, she had tried to do what Mike wanted. She attempted to prove his accusations wrong, but somewhere along the way, she had given up. Jocelyn had never been sure if she had given up too easily and had felt that maybe if she had worked harder at her relationship, they might have salvaged it. Maybe moving on, getting some distance from Atlanta had helped. She didn’t know. There was probably no way to know for sure.

  She thought back to the envy that had hit her when she saw Chris smile at Cynthia. She had never really felt it before, but now she had the first stirrings of a romance with Kai. There was a very good chance he was just passing the time with her, and well, it was not a hardship having a man like Kai pay attention to her. But she was starting to want something more. Not particularly with Kai, but just something more with her life.

  The light turned green and she decided to push these worries aside. She had dinner with four very wonderful men to get to and she planned on enjoying it.

  Kai smiled as he walked down the hallway to the kitchen. It had been a hectic day, mainly because he had pushed his crew to finish up early so he could make it back in time to clean up for dinner. But it had been hard to concentrate on anything but Jocelyn. He knew it was a mistake, but he just couldn’t seem to get her out of his mind.

  He stepped into the kitchen to find his father shredding the pork. He glanced over his shoulder and looked at Kai.

  “That’s what you’re wearing to impress the girl?”

  Kai looked down at his Hawaiian shirt and khaki shorts and frowned. “What’s wrong with it?”

  “It’s a date. You should dress nicer.”

  He rolled his eyes. His father had been beside himself when he’d told him Jocelyn was coming over. Besides the fact that all the Aionas had missed having a woman in the house the last few months, Kai knew his father was getting ideas about him and Jocelyn. That wasn’t good. He wanted the woman, had spent most of last night dreaming about her. But he wasn’t sure if she would want a relationship, and he wasn’t in the mood to save another woman.

  You lie.

  He sighed and tried to ignore his inner voice. He wanted Jocelyn, and he wanted her just the way she was. He knew he shouldn’t want her this badly. It would be easy enough to find a woman for the night, slake his lust and go on his merry way. But he couldn’t do it. Every time he thought about doing it, the taste of Jocelyn’s kiss came rushing back. It tripped over his nerve endings. Just thinking about it now had him humming.

  His father gave him an odd look and Kai decided he needed something cold to drink. He grabbed a beer out of the fridge a moment before the doorbell rang. His heart tripped at the sound. Jesus. It was like he was fifteen and having his first lust-filled crush.

  “What are you waiting for?” his father asked him.

  Kai drew in a deep breath, ignored his father and walked to the front door. He opened it and she had her back to him. Life wasn’t fair. If it was, he would not have to keep enduring that ass of hers. She was dressed in a red belted sundress with a halter top. It was simple but it did the most wonderful things to her body. It accentuated her small waist. She turned and smiled and something in him stumbled, then fell at her feet. She was lethal with that damned smile.

  “Hi. I made it here without getting lost.”

  For a second he couldn’t respond. His brain has shut down the moment he heard that slow, New Orleans’ accent ripple over her words. It spoke of long, sultry nights, soft sheets and a willing woman.

  “Kai?”

  He shook his head, trying to regain his wits and not look like a fool. He smiled.

  “Sorry. It was a crazy day. Come on in.”

  He let her walk by and did his best not to sniff. He lost that fight. She brought the night air and that same sweet scent he’d become addicted to since he’d met her.

  He shoved his hand through his hair and released a controlled breath. Damn woman was driving him insane, and from the innocent look on her face, she had no idea.

  “Jocelyn,” his father said as he walked down the hall. “I’m so glad you could find time to be with us.”

  His father gave him an odd look as he slipped his arm over Jocelyn’s shoulders.

  “I never turn down dinner with good-looking men.”

  His father laughed as he walked down the hall with her. Kai followed them, trying to calm his libido, but it did no good. Watching her as she walked, as well as the warm, affectionate way she talked to his father had more than just his body responding. And that was not good at all.

  Drawing in another deep breath, he decided tonight would be a long night. The only thing he had to be sure of was not jumping over the table and kissing her.

  As her laugh drifted back to him, he realized that would be harder than he expected.

  Chapter Six

  Jocelyn smiled as Kai walked her to the car. “That was one of the most pleasant nights I’ve had in a long time.”

  He cut her a look that told her that he thought she was lying.

  “Really. You have a pretty great family.”

  He shook his head. “They’re crazy.”

  “Yeah, reminds me of my own. You might think you cornered the market on crazy with your family, but you haven’t met the Duprees all at once. You will next month, so get ready.”

  He stopped when they reached her car. “That should be interesting. Am I going to have to deal with all your brothers warning me off?”

  Embarrassment shifted through her, and not for the first time she wanted to shave Chris bald—including his eyebrows. She could do it too because her brother slept like a ton of bricks.

  “No. Mama will be here so they’ll behave.”

  He nodded but he looked unconvinced.

  They reached her car and he shoved his hands in his pockets as if he were afraid he would touch her. That was interesting.

  “I guess you have an early morning tomorrow?”

  He nodded. “Well, probably not for a baker.”

  She laughed. “I’m starting work next week.”

  “You’re going to work for Cynthia?”

  She nodded. “Chris is trying to decide if he should disagree with me or thank me. It is kind of fun to mess with him.”

  “Yeah, and with the sympathy sickness, I’m sure he would like a break.”

  She laughed. “Have you told May?”

  He shook his head. “I’m a man. I’m not going to side with the females.”

  “Hmm, I thought you liked females.”

  “I do. I just know how lethal they can be. May taught me that at an early age.”

  He said nothing more, just kept looking at her. She did her best not to fidget but it was hard not to. Even with only a dim streetlight she could see his gaze, the way it followed her lips. The man was going to turn her into a lunatic if he kept looking at her as if he were going to gobble her up.

  That thought had heat rolling through her. Her nipples were tight against her lace bra, painfully erect. She shifted her feet and the lace moved against the sensitive flesh. God.

  “Well, I guess I should get going.”

  “Yeah.”

  He placed a hand against the car behind her and leaned in. She didn’t hesitate, didn’t draw back. It was the most natural thing in the world to move into the kiss. Just like the night before, the moment he touched his mouth to hers, she lost every thought. They bled out of her brain and were replaced by the sheer pleasure of having his lips against hers, his tongue slipping into her mouth, and the feel of his body against hers. He slanted his head to deepen the kiss, slipped his arms to her waist and pulled her against him. The heat of him, the feel of his long, hard muscles against her, had her responding. She wanted, wanted him like nothing she had ever wanted before. Her body shimmered with need. She slipped her hands up his arms and over his sh
oulders, and just like the night fell into the kiss.

  He was exotic to the taste, but so normal, so what she needed. She was trying to figure out a way to get him back to her house when a passing car honked their horn.

  “Get a room, Kai.”

  He pulled back then, gently and with a regretful smile. “I guess we gave the neighbors a show.”

  Left unfulfilled again. “Not as good a one if that idiot hadn’t beeped his horn.” She couldn’t keep the irritation out of her voice. It had been over a year since she’d had sex and months since she had wanted a man to touch her. And every time she got close, something happened. From the look on his face, he was going to go all hero on her. Dammit. God save her from men trying to protect her.

  He stepped back, releasing her.

  She said nothing for a moment, then, “You’re not doing this because of my brother.”

  “No. I want to make sure you really want me.”

  Annoyance mingled with the unrelieved arousal. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

  “I want to make sure you aren’t trying to prove to the world that you’re okay.”

  Embarrassment hit first. She knew that her brother’s friends would have some kind of idea of what had happened to her, but if he knew this much, he knew. And he had been playing along to make her feel better. Dammit, it wasn’t what she deserved. She deserved someone who actually wanted to go out with her. Anger simmered, and as usual with her, she opened her mouth before she could keep herself from doing it.

  “Fine. Don’t worry. I won’t bug you again, Kai. I understand that you were doing this out of the kindness of your heart, but you’re free. I don’t need someone who would be doing it as a pity fuck.”

  “Jocelyn—”

  She held up her hand and marched around the hood of her car. He stood on the sidewalk, his facial expression blank.

  When she reached her door, she drew in a deep breath. “I’m sorry.”

  He shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. Goodnight, Jocelyn.”