Blackness Takes Over & Blackness Awaits

by Karlsson, Norma Jeanne

  “UUUGHHHH!” I groan and rub water vigorously over my face. I feel Kel in the room before he makes a sound. I get to work washing my hair like I wasn’t just completely preoccupied with him and his shit. He slides in the shower behind me and runs his hands into my hair to take over scrubbing duties. It feels really good, and I moan without realizing I’m doing it.

  “I’m sorry,” he murmurs. I turn around to rinse my hair and he wraps his arms around my waist nuzzling into my neck. He stands back up and I look into his eyes seeing fear and remorse.

  “I love you.” He smiles slightly and kisses me softly on the lips.

  “I love you too, Kel,” I say with an annoyed tone in my reply. “I fucking love you so much. I’ve never loved anyone like I love you and it kills me that you’re questioning that.”

  “I’m not.” I glare at him. “Okay…maybe it seems that way, but I know you love me and I sure as shit love you unlike any man has ever loved a woman. I don’t trust Taylor,” he says the last part emphatically. I nod because I’m afraid maybe he’s right not to trust him. “Forgive me?”

  “Maybe,” I purr, indicating make-up sex is needed. He hoists me up in our usual pose and smashes me against the tile before I know what hits me. Our mouths are ravaging each other’s as he slams into me. I cry out in pain and pleasure at the sensation of his force and substantial size. I dig my nails into his back and moan in ecstasy. I’m panting and quivering on the edge within seconds it feels like. Kel is aggressive and forceful in his thrusts, his fingers sharply digging into my ass cheeks. The intensity of his emotion is seeping out of each pore on his magnificent body. I cling to him tighter kissing him passionately with everything that I have. He drives into me harder and faster, sensing my impending orgasm and growls into my ear. We both come undone together groaning and chests heaving. He kisses me softly only to be interrupted by a banging on the other side of the wall. Cally is screaming and applauding our performance like it’s Super Bowl Sunday. Nice. We both laugh and get back to our shower.

  Kel and I walk out of my room only to run into our audience after we’re dressed and ready for the day.

  “Feeling better?” Cally glimmers at me.

  “Much!” I push him in the chest. I do feel better…and sore!

  “I’m gonna go pick Aidan up at Crown Center from his trauma conference. Wanna come?” he snickers when he says come, like a twelve-year-old would. I chuckle at him and Kel smiles shaking his head.

  “I gotta head to my place for a bit, Kiddo,” Kel grimaces, knowing I’m sick of being apart so much. He wraps his arms tightly around my waist and kisses my forehead. “Go spend some time with Aidan. I’ll be back here in a few hours, before we head out to Mia.” I nod into his chest and inhale the scent of him deeply through my nose. His arms are my home and his scent is my air, I love this man.

  The three of us walk downstairs to find the rest of the boys and Taylor immersed in college basketball. When we get to the bottom of the stairs, my BlackBerry starts ringing in my bag. I walk over to the counter to grab it before the call rolls to voicemail. It’s Reed.

  “Shannon Kelly,” I answer in business mode. Since the revelation that Butch is not a murderer, Reed and I have become more civil…but not much. Kel trails behind me and is leaning against the breakfast bar on his back so he can face me.

  “Shannon, sorry to interrupt your weekend,” Reed says in his snake voice.

  “What can I do for you Reed?”

  “The investigator took the plea!” His hissing voice is higher pitched than normal. Yesterday, the crime scene investigator had been convicted of tampering with evidence in another homicide. Reed approached the ADA with a deal that would give the investigator less time if he confessed to tampering in Butch’s case. It turns out the investigator was in the pocket of the largest methamphetamine manufacturer in the Midwest. I’m sure there is a connection there with Butch’s case for the ADA to use somehow.

  “That’s really great news Reed,” I say happily. I don’t have to endure this circus life anymore!

  “Prosecutor’s dropping the murder and attempt charges on Butch, and he’s off with time served for the distribution charges. He’s done! No trial Monday!”

  “Wow, that’s a great win for you. I’m sure Butch is thrilled. I’m actually heading to see Mia today.”

  “I was actually calling about Mia,” his tone more serious now. “We need to get this protection order rescinded.”

  “Yeah, I can get the ball rolling on that. I know a judge that will sign off today if I ask him to.”

  “Shannon, that would be really great. Thanks for being so open to all of this. I know you had Mia’s best interest at heart this whole time, but Butch is a really good guy who was in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

  “I know Reed. Well, I better hop off here and start makin’ some calls. I’ll let you know when I have everything ironed out.”

  “Thanks again, talk to you soon.”

  “No problem, bye.”

  “Bye.”

  Butch is free. I’m relieved and stressed all at the same time. Mia’s father didn’t beat her into a coma nor did he murder her mother. The relief I feel is palatable. The stressor is…someone did. There’s a person walking around on the streets somewhere that did this. The ADA will be first on my list of phone calls Monday morning. A new investigation needs to start so we can catch this monster.

  I can feel all the eyes in the room on me. We all had made our way to the understanding that Butch was framed, but we weren’t confident this investigator was going to confess. This is going to be huge news to them.

  “What did Reed say?” Kavy is the voice of the room. I turn around so I can face all of them. They had all turned on the couch to stare at my back while I was on the phone. Kel pulls me tight to his side, and I see Taylor’s lip curl and relax quickly. I try to ignore it.

  “The investigator took the deal. Butch is off the hook,” I celebrate.

  Kel turns me in his arms and drags me off the ground to assume our usual pose. I clutch him tightly and nuzzle down into his neck. I’m so fucking happy. Mia has her father back! I had always dreamed that someday my dad would walk back through the door and wrap his arms around me. I never got my dream, but Mia does. This is truly a victory. The boys all yell congratulations and well wishes. Kel kisses me on the side of my head and tells me how much he loves me and how proud he is of me. Once the jubilation dies down Kel leaves and I head into the office to get to work.

  After a couple hours I have everything sent off and ready for Reed. It’s official, I’m still Mia’s attorney, but Butch is back as her father. I smile and let out a huge cleansing breath.

  Knock, knock.

  “Come in,” I yell.

  “Hey Kid.” Aidan comes gliding in. “You ’bout done?”

  “Just finished. What’s up?” Aidan is a stunning man. He’s so tall and broad, yet soft and gentle. His blue eyes are glimmering, but he seems tense.

  “Wanted to see if I could get you alone.”

  “We’re alone now…Aidan what’s goin’ on?” He’s making me uneasy.

  “I heard about this morning with Taylor.” He sighs as he plops into a grey leather wingback chair on the other side of my desk.

  “Not you too.” I throw my head back and moan.

  “Just hear me out, Kid.” I nod but keep my eyes fixed on the ceiling.

  “Taylor’s bad news Kid, I can just feel it. He’s got something workin’ for you and it makes me uncomfortable. I haven’t said anything because he was doin’ a great job and keepin’ his distance, but that’s no longer the case. I have a bad feeling about him.” He’s somber. I pull my gaze back to him and his piercing blue eyes are intense in thought.

  “What do you mean bad feeling? He’s just my bodyguard…nothing else. He may have a crush but it’s inconsequential. I love Kel. I’m with Kel. Taylor is in the friend zone,” I say pointedly.

  “I can’t pinpoint it, but it’s a bad feeling. I kn
ow how you feel about Kellerman and how he feels about you. I’m not surprised he’s struggling with Taylor on you all the time. I can barely stand it and you’re my sister not my wife.”

  “I’m nobody’s wife, Aidan,” I admonish.

  “If you say so.” Aidan shrugs. “Taylor has ulterior motives Kid, I can tell. Just be careful and go easy on Kellerman. He’s really tryin’ to be understanding. If Taylor was any other dude we’d have strung him up by his short and curlies by now.” We both snicker and relax a little at that.

  “How do you know so much about Kel and how he’s feeling? And since when do you stick up for anyone in my life? I thought you were my protector.”

  “I am your protector,” he says emphatically, holding my gaze. “Kellerman’s different than anyone else that’s come around you. He loves you for you and isn’t trying to make you into a trophy wife, just because you look like one. We’ve been talkin’ a bit since Thanksgiving. He’s been talkin’ to the whole family from the sounds of it.” Aidan shrugs and stands up to come around the desk sitting on it in front of me. I lean back in my chair so I can look at my giant baby brother.

  “Why’s he talkin’ to everyone? And who is everyone? Pappy, Collin, both Mas?”

  “Everyone’s talked to him. I don’t know why he’s makin’ the rounds, but I have my suspicions.” He wiggles his Callaghan eyebrows at me. What the fuck does that mean?

  “Huh?” I ask totally puzzled.

  “You’re such a guy, Kid.” He laughs and shakes his head at me. He pulls me up out of the chair and smashes me to his chest. I curl my arms around his middle and let out a relaxing breath.

  “Love you,” I murmur in his chest.

  “You don’t love me, you just love my doggie style,” he teases. I push him back and we start to laugh. The door opens and Taylor is standing there with two mugs of coffee in his hands smiling at me broadly. Aidan stops and glares at him.

  “Ever hear of knockin’?” Aidan growls.

  “No, he hasn’t,” Kel says as he brushes past Taylor. This pissing contest has got to end soon. I feel like I’m drowning in urine. I watch Kel make his way toward me and my breath hitches just a bit. He’s wearing perfect, not too tight not too loose dark jeans, a form fitting V-neck white T-shirt and a dark brown James Dean-esque leather jacket with his aviators on top of his perfect, pushed to the side, golden hair. I may have just come. I hear a squeak and then Aidan starts to laugh.

  “Huh…What?” I break my stare at Kel and glance up at Aidan.

  “You squeaked.” He breaks into a full blown belly laugh and Taylor turns on his heel to leave. Kel is just smiling and shaking his head as he gets to me and attacks my mouth.

  “Dude, get off my sister!” Aidan teasingly yells.

  “Oh he’ll definitely get off on me later.” I laugh into Kel’s neck.

  “See what I mean,” Aidan shakes his head and makes for the door, “you’re a dude for sure, Kid.”

  Sully pops up in the doorway as Aidan gets there. “Hey man we’re headin’ out to lunch. You ready?” he asks Aidan. Aidan nods. “Hey Kellerman, didn’t know you were back yet. We’ll see you after you get back from the hospital, Kid.” Sully waves at us. “Wipe the desk clean when you’re done, Kellerman. House rule.” I roll my eyes. Kel cracks a smile.

  They leave the office and shut the door.

  “You look fucking delectable, Kel,” I purr and run my hands under his shirt, up his heavenly torso.

  “Not as good as you,” he purrs back and kisses me again slowly with passion and love. His hands cup my cheeks, and I run my hands around to his sculpted back under his shirt. Our tongues massage and lick each other until we’re out of breath. We pull away slightly, our eyes still closed but our foreheads resting against the other’s.

  “Let’s get goin’ before I have to obey the house rules,” he breathes out. We both chuckle.

  “’Kay.”

  I convince Taylor to stay home so I can visit with Mia and Kel on my own. He puts up a little fight, but acquiesces when he realizes I’m not backing down. I have Kel with me and KCPD at the hospital until Monday. I’m safe. Kel and I make our way out to Shelby, I let him drive her most of the time now, much to his delight.

  When we walk in the room Butch is there at the side of Mia’s bed holding her hand, staring out the window.

  “Hi Butch,” I say softly.

  His gaze shifts from the window and lands on Kel and me. Butch hasn’t seen Kel since his first trial more than six years ago. The visitations stipulated only supervisors and visitors allowed, so Kel hasn’t been here when Butch has been. Butch stands up, eyeing Kel and makes his way over to us. I’m not certain which way this interaction is going to go so I hold my ground and prepare for the worst, hoping for the best. Butch stops in front of Kel and reaches his hand out.

  “It’s good to see you Dylan.” Butch’s gravelly voice is kind and his eyes are soft. It’s amazing to see someone who looks so rough and worn exude such gentleness. Kel eyes Butch for a second longer and grabs his hand firmly.

  “You too, Butch. How’s Mia today?” Kel asks in a friendly tone.

  “She’s had a good day so far,” Butch says, as he glances back at his daughter lovingly. “What brings you into town?” he asks.

  “I’ve been back here for a few months. I come in with Shannon to visit usually once or twice a week,” he answers plainly and I can see Butch’s confusion as to why Kel would be going anywhere with me.

  “Do you have to supervise all Mia’s visits, Shannon?” Butch’s brow furrows.

  “No, I don’t. Dylan comes with me because he’s my boyfriend. We met because of our beautiful girl over there.” I nod at Mia. “She introduced us a few months ago actually.”

  “Sorry,” Butch says quickly, “let’s sit down and stop standing in the doorway like strangers.” Kel and I take the chairs at the end of the bed and Butch resumes his place at Mia’s side. “So tell me how you’ve been, Dylan. Haven’t seen ya in a long time.”

  “I’ve been good Butch. I stayed in Seattle and fished in Alaska the past six years. It was a good life but it wasn’t home,” he says glancing at me. We know that’s not the full story, but I don’t expect him to tell Butch why he came back.

  “I’m sure Mia’s happy you’re here. Baby girl loved you and your old man. I was sorry to hear about him passin’,” Butch says as he strokes Mia’s hand.

  “Thanks. He loved her to death…so do I,” Kel grabs my hand and rubs his thumb across my knuckles. There’s sadness and loss pouring out of both these men. I can’t take it so I decide it’s time to catch up on the latest gossip.

  “Well Butch, you’re gonna have to give up that chair. We’ve got R-Patz and Channing Tatum to catch up on.” He quirks a smile at me and switches me chairs. He’s never seen what I do with Mia, so this should be entertaining. I open up all the magazines and get to work reading articles and interviews, describing ads, asking her opinion, the typical things I do. I don’t ever pay much attention to who’s in the room while I am engaging Mia, it’s all about her.

  Now it’s time to fix her hair. It’s gotten longer so I need to make an appointment for her to get her bob shaped back up, but she’s still stunning. I wish she’d wake up and smile at me just once. After I finish her hair I sit on the bed with her and fill her in on what’s going on with me like I always do. This is as much for her as it is for me I’m starting to realize. Once I’m all talked out I stand up to give Kel a turn with her. When I turn around Butch is staring at me with a tear stained face and Kel’s hand resting comfortingly on his shoulder.

  Butch clears his throat, “Shannon, I’ll never be able to thank you enough for carin’ for Mia like ya have.” He shakes his head and tries to keep fresh tears at bay. “You’ll be an amazin’ mother.”

  I’m stunned by his emotion and gratitude. I’ve only done with Mia what felt right. I didn’t know what to do with her when I first met her, so I just followed my gut. I did what I would want someon
e to do for me if I were laying trapped in a body like she is. I fell in love with this little girl and can’t imagine not having her in my life. I had even talked to Kavy about petitioning to adopt her a few years ago, but now that’s not going to happen. I think I feel a loss at that idea, yet happy at the same time that she gets her father back instead.

  “That she will.” Kel claps Butch on the back and stands up to take his turn with Mia. “Although you should see how she spoils the people she loves. Our kids are gonna have her wrapped around their fingers,” he chuckles to Butch as he passes me, kissing my cheek. Luckily he didn’t see my eyes bugging out of my head like they do every time he brings up “our kids”. Butch eyes me suspiciously, but doesn’t comment on my reaction.

  “Your kids’ll be lucky to have her to spoil ’em. I know Mia is.” He winks at me as I take the chair next to him. Kel doesn’t respond, but sits with his back to us on Mia’s bed and starts talking to her. Butch puts his hand on my arm, dragging my gaze to him.

  “I’m sorry about bringin’ up kids,” he whispers. “Kathy and I had trouble tryin’ to get pregnant after Mia was born. We tried and tried but nothin’ happened. You two just keep at it and you’ll get there.” He thinks I’m freaked because I can’t conceive. What do I say to that?

  “That’s not our issue, but thank you Butch,” I whisper back, hoping he’ll drop it.

  “Well whatever it is, I hope you work it out.” He squeezes my arm and goes back to watching Kel.

  Why does this thing with kids bug me so much with Kel? I want kids really badly actually. So why do I feel sick to my stomach every time he brings it up? And I think he brings it up at least once a week and it’s always the same way, like it’s a foregone conclusion that he and I will be having children. Kel will be an outstanding father and when I think about what gorgeous, amazingly talented, witty, charming kids he’ll surely produce, I can see wanting that with him. I’ve just never thought this would be possible with someone. I feel like if I start to believe I could have this life with Kel, it’s going to be pulled away from me like everything else I’ve ever loved has been. The guys are my one constant so that’s where I seek comfort for my future. That doesn’t mean I don’t want a future with Kel…I’m just afraid I won’t get it.