Blackness Takes Over & Blackness Awaits

by Karlsson, Norma Jeanne

  “Well let’s go to City Hall Monday morning and just get it all finalized then,” I scoff. He can’t be fucking serious with this shit.

  “Okay. What time?” he deadpans.

  “I’m gonna get Cally and we’re puttin’ you on a psych hold because you have lost your shit!” I squeal, as he starts to tickle me.

  “I will marry you and have babies with you and grow old with you,” he says intently. “You just wait and see.”

  “Okay.” I can wait and see.

  “Okay.”

  After some greatly needed makeup sex Kel and I head back downstairs to let him face the boys and for me to iron shit out with Taylor. The guys are still where I left them engrossed in the Army vs. Navy game. Kel clears his throat to get the guys attention. They all turn their heads toward him with impassive looks.

  “I beyond fucked up today guys,” Kel acquiesces. “I feel like total shit about it and I can assure you, I’ll never let anything go that far again. I love Kid more than I can even tell you guys and I know you all love her just as much. I meant what I told Kav all those weeks ago. If I hurt her I’d deliver myself to you all willingly. I’m here and I deserve whatever you wanna give me. I was wrong.” Kavy stands up and moves toward Kel. He looks fucking pissed off right now and I’m a little worried about what Kel just signed up for. I keep my fingers interlaced with Kel’s, knowing Kavy won’t put me in the middle like I was earlier today. I’m watching Kavy closely, but see the other guys getting up from the couch and following close behind him.

  “Kid go to the office and talk to Taylor,” Kavy orders without looking at me. Kel maintains eye contact with Kavy, not in a confrontational way…it’s respectful.

  “Kavy,” I warn.

  “Kid, we need Kellerman alone for a few minutes. You need to leave,” Sully orders, not looking at me either.

  “Go ahead Kiddo. I’ll be fine,” Kel soothes, squeezing my hand before letting go.

  I turn and start to walk away; knowing an ass kicking is surely coming for Kel. I need my guys to know that Kel is my future now as much as they are. I turn back around.

  “Guys, I know this is a man thing that I’m not a part of. But you all are my family…Kel included. He’s my future now too guys. I’m no cake walk to be with, but he’s fightin’ for me like only you guys have. Think about that before you do anything stupid,” I beseech before I turn and walk away.

  I walk in the office to see Taylor leaning over the desktop monitor, standing with his phone between his ear and shoulder.

  “I’ll have to get back to you,” he says quickly and ends the call.

  “Hey, I didn’t mean to interrupt,” I apologize.

  “It’s fine,” his tone is soft.

  “I think we need to talk about today. Can we sit down?” I motion to the love seat where I hashed shit out with Kel earlier. This is a scary kind of déjà vu. He sits next to me and gazes into my eyes, with a little fury flickering in them if I look hard enough.

  “Today was my fault Taylor. Kel and I were havin’ a discussion that I was trying to avoid and things got outta hand. I’m sorry you felt the need to step in,” I say with sincerity.

  “You don’t seem to know how much I care about you.” He shakes his head. “This isn’t just another job for me. You’re special.”

  “I think your job with me is done, Taylor. It’s time for you to move on to your next job because that’s what I am, just a job,” I get a little stern. He needs to know I’m not feeling for him what he’s unveiling to me. If there was no Kel, there would be a Taylor and me…I don’t doubt that. Unfortunately for Taylor, he was a week late in my life.

  “You’re so much more than a job, Shannon.” He reaches out and cups my cheek. I pull back and his hand and head drop immediately.

  “Taylor, I’m with Kel and you know that. I love him. I asked him to move in with me.” I’m pleading with my eyes for him to get the picture. His gaze gets more intense, but he stands up and makes his way to the desk. I follow him with my eyes, confused as to what he’s doing.

  “Are you familiar with a woman named Cassie Yates?” he asks as he grabs some papers off the desk and moves back toward me.

  “No. I don’t think so.” I furrow my brow trying to think if I am.

  “She used to date Dylan Kellerman in Seattle,” he says, as he hands me a piece of paper with pictures of Kel with a petite blonde hugging him. It looks like it’s from Facebook or something like that.

  “Now that I think about it, he said his ex’s name was Cassie. So what?” I feel like he’s trying to stir up shit.

  “That’s right they used to date,” he says airily. “The problem is she is now eleven weeks pregnant with Kellerman’s baby,” he deadpans. I look into his eyes, praying to see a lie seeping through, but I don’t.

  “How do you know it’s his? She could be pregnant by anyone. Just because she’s pregnant doesn’t mean it’s Kel’s,” I rattle off. I know how this shit works…family attorney and all.

  “I had Kellerman followed when he was in Seattle.” I look at him, shocked as he hands me surveillance photos. “I did it to keep you safe, Shannon. You’d only known him a few days. It was important to know who he was and what he was up to,” he says softly. I look at the stack of photos he handed me, and feel my stomach turn as I look through photo after photo of Kel sucking face with the petite blonde. The photos are time stamped and Kel is wearing the same clothes he wore on the plane when he left in the first few, with less and less clothes on as they fall into bed. I keep thumbing through them, hoping to see something that doesn’t make this real, but it’s not there. FUCK!!

  “Why didn’t you show me these in October?!” I seethe at him. “Why wait until now?”

  “Because you’re an adult. I’m not your babysitter. My job was to keep you safe and out of harm’s way, not to figure out your love life,” he says clinically. “That changed though Shannon. I’ve fallen for you and I don’t want you to be with someone that takes you for granted,” he’s now full of emotion. The back and forth of his mood is throwing me but I’m trying to stay focused.

  “Taylor you’re my friend. I care about you too, but I’m in love with Kel,” I sigh at the realization…that may be even worse right now.

  “Do you really want to be with someone that would do that to you? Be a stepmother to a baby that lives in Seattle. He’ll probably move back to be close to his child. Are you gonna follow him? Leave the practice? Leave the guys?” he rattles off in an unbelieving tone.

  I put my hand up to signal I need a break. Taylor grabs the photos out of my hands and pulls me into him. I let him hold me because I need it right now. He tips my face up to his with his finger under my chin and ever so softly presses his lips to mine. I let him kiss me. I want to feel loved right now because all I feel is betrayal. I let myself see a future and it was just ripped from me like I always fear.

  Taylor grows more forceful pulling the nape of my neck and working his hand in my hair. Our mouths part and our tongues work over each other’s almost angrily. I’m fisting his shirt, trying to feel the fire in me that I get from Kel, there is a burn between us but it’s completely different to that of Kel and me. Taylor runs his hand up my shirt and hurriedly pulls my breast free from the cup of my bra. His hands are softer than Kel’s and smaller. I start to come back to the reality of what’s happening. I can’t do this. My heart is with Kel…broken but still with him in this moment. I pull away from Taylor and stand up to move back from him. He’s out of breath and panting at me.

  “What’s wrong?” he breathes out.

  “I can’t, Taylor.” I shake my head.

  “Please, Shannon,” he pleads. When he calls me Shannon I remember his explanation about why he calls me that. My heart flutters at the memory and confuses me even more.

  “Taylor, this is too much right now. I need to talk to Kel. I can’t just jump into something two seconds after my heart is ripped out. I think you should take a new job. I’ll get in touch
once I have my head straight.” I right myself in my clothes and make my way to the door. I stop and look at him wanting to somehow make this better but I don’t know how. He looks away from me.

  “I’m sorry.” He shakes his head. “I’ll wait for you, Shannon. You’re worth more than he’s giving you. But I’ll do what you ask. I’ll be gone tomorrow.” He gets up and makes his way back to the desk without so much as a glance at me. He’s hurt and rejected. The doorbell rings.

  “I’ll just get that,” I say happy for the distraction.

  “Goodbye, Shannon,” he says, giving me one deep look before gazing back at the monitor.

  I make my way to the door and look out the peephole. All I see is a bunch of flowers. I open the door.

  “Delivery for Shannon Kelly,” the voice of the man holding the arrangement says. I still can’t see his face, but can tell he’s wearing a uniform and hat.

  “I can take that,” I say.

  “You’ll need to sign for them,” he says, as he hands me the vase. The flowers are stunning all white: calla lilies, gerbera, freesia, eucharis, and amaryllis, intermixed with leafy greens. The vase and the arrangement are large and heavy so I just take them to the small entry table. I lean in, eyes closed, getting a good whiff of the intoxicating scent.

  I know this fragrance…Daddy.

  I bend over the small table to smell the pretty white flowers. I hate going to meetings with my daddy, but he promised this would be a short one. It’s a nice warm summer day outside. I would rather be playing in the sprinklers than sitting here in this room that smells like flowers. I’ve never been here before; usually meetings are at Daddy’s office. I’ve been waiting for a long time, but I remember my manners and sit quietly, waiting for him to come back for me. I wish I could go outside and play. There was a big fountain in front when we came in. I could just sit and watch the water flow. I can see it from the window next to me. There’s a lady in the middle with her hands cupped spilling water to her feet. She’s beautiful.

  I can hear voices coming from the door Daddy went in. I sit politely and wait as their voices get closer. I can’t make out anything they’re saying, not that I really care. The door opens and Daddy comes out alone. He puts a hand on my shoulder.

  “Let’s go, Shanny,” he coos at me in his gravelly voice. I hop up from my chair and hurry toward the door. He opens the door and takes my hand in his, pulling me behind him to our waiting town car. Mr. Mike our driver is outside in front of the fountain. Mommy’s always mean to Mr. Mike, but I like him. He gives me candy and wiggles his white whiskers at me. Mr. Mike reaches in his pocket and pulls out a shiny penny. He presses it into my hand and tells me to go make a wish. I look up at Daddy who smiles, nodding at the woman spilling her water. I walk over to the edge of the fountain, close my eyes, and make my wish: Please let the Cubs win today!

  “Wrigley Field, sir?” Mr. Mike asks Daddy as he starts to drive. I look at the big building we just left. It looks more like a house than an office, but Daddy told me he was here for a meeting. Now he’s taking me to a Cubs game!! We go twice a month, at least, just him and me.

  “Yes,” Daddy answers as he reads some papers in his lap. I look out the window as we drive, watching the trees and houses turning into row houses and buildings. I start to get excited and bounce up and down in my seat, like I’m going to explode in anticipation of reaching the ballpark. I love going to games with Daddy. He always buys me too much food and I always get a tummy ache, we sing songs together and chant for the Cubs, he keeps score and teaches me about the game; it’s the best day. Mommy says he spoils me, and Daddy says you can’t spoil a child with love. I’m on his side. He’s so busy working all the time, but game days are just about us. I look away from the window back at him. He looks so serious, not how he usually looks before a game.

  “Daddy?”

  Bang!!

  My body jerks violently to the side. My head hits the window, cracking the glass. The car is sliding and screeching violently, side to side. I’m screaming for Daddy to make it stop, but the car keeps sliding and now it’s flipping. I hear metal scraping and pops like fireworks going off around me. I look to find Mr. Mike, but I can’t see him. It smells like gas, there’s smoke everywhere in the car, burning my eyes and throat. Now the car is standing still, but I’m hanging on my side dangling from my seatbelt. The car is tipped over on its side.

  Daddy is under me, still in his seatbelt, his window is gone and the glass is everywhere around him. He’s just laying there in all the glass. I try to get my belt undone, but it’s stuck. I wiggle and wiggle when I hear the fireworks again. I scream and try to cover myself with my arms as glass and metal are flying around me. I can’t breathe. There’s a fire in the front of the car. I’m scared! I try to yell for Daddy again, but nothing comes out. He’s not moving. I see blood, a lot of blood. I’m crying but only tears come, no sounds. I hear a voice outside the car that I don’t know, a man. He’s talking to someone. I’m trying to yell for help, but nothing comes out when I open my mouth. I see a figure standing over the space where my window used to be. I smile; he’s going to save us.

  Pop, pop.

  I go limp…My chest hurts…I’m sleepy.

  The fireworks have stopped and I hear sirens. The fire is getting bigger. I want my Daddy. I’m cold and my arms are moving slowly, but I try one more time on my belt. I push the button and pull on the belt as hard as I can, falling on top of him as it lets me go. I curl around him and say…

  I snap open my eyes, coming out of my memory. Why can’t I remember what we said to each other that day? I see the delivery guy in the reflection of the mirror that hangs above the table approaching me from behind. His eyes are dark, and he moves quickly toward me raising his hand above my head, before I have the chance to do anything…blackness takes over.

  Book two in the Blackness Series will be released in April 2014. Please follow me at one or all of the following for updates, competitions, and possible sneak peeks:

  https://www.normajeannekarlsson.com

  https://twitter.com/NormaJKarlsson

  https://www.goodreads.com/normajeannekarlsson

  https://www.facebook.com/AuthorNormaJeanneKarlsson

  If you or someone you know has been the victim of a violent crime please contact your local authorities. Minority groups in particular are at higher risk for being silent victims, please don’t suffer in silence. If you are unsure who to contact, call one of the national hotlines listed below and they will get you in contact with the appropriate resources.

  In the United States

  The National Domestic

  Violence Hotline

  1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

  1-800-787-3224 (TTY)

  http://www.thehotline.org/

  The National Sexual

  Assault Hotline

  1-800-656-HOPE

  https://ohl.rainn.org/online/

  In the United Kingdom and Ireland

  English National Domestic Violence Helpline

  0808 2000 247

  www.nationaldomesticviolencehelpline.org.uk

  Wales Domestic Abuse Helpline

  0808 80 10 800

  http://www.allwaleshelpline.org.uk/

  Women’s Aid Federation (Northern Ireland)

  0800 917 1414

  www.womensaidni.org

  Women’s Aid

  (Republic of Ireland)

  1800 341 900

  http://www.womensaid.ie/

  Scottish Women’s Aid

  0800 027 1234

  www.scottishwomensaid.org.uk

  Men’s Advice Line

  0808 801 0327

  www.mensadviceline.org.uk

  Broken Rainbow

  (for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people)

  0300 999 5428

  www.broken-rainbow.org.uk

  In Australia

  1800RESPECT

  National Sexual Assault, Domestic and Family Violence Counselling Service

 
1800 737 732

  https://www.1800respect.org.au/

  MensLine Australia

  1300 78 99 78

  http://www.mensline.org.au

  In New Zealand

  Women’s Refuge

  (Domestic Violence Helpline)

  0800 REFUGE (733 843)

  https://womensrefuge.org.nz

  Rape Prevention Education

  09 360 4001

  http://www.rpe.org.nz/

  OUTLineNZ

  (Supporting the rainbow community)

  0800 OUTLINE (6885463)

  http://www.outline.org.nz/

  To my remarkable husband who has supported and challenged me in everything I’ve ever done. I have the fairy tale most aspire to and I never take it for granted. To my children, you are the light and joy in my life, even when you are trying desperately to drive me insane. To Chris, the best friend a girl could dream up. You have been my rock through writing this book and I am forever indebted to you. Thank you for the lifetime of love and support. To my mother, the non-reader, for reading my book and loving it as much as you love me. To Ellie, for designing an amazing cover and art, all the while putting up with my inability to formulate anything artistically helpful. To Gary and Caroline at BubbleCow for offering great advice and comments during the editing process. And finally to the readers, thank you for taking the time to read my book. I hope you love these characters as much as I do!!

  Blackness Awaits Copyright © 2014 Norma Jeanne Karlsson

  Published by It’s Publishing

  Edited by Progressive Edits

  Cover Design and Layout by

  Ellie Bockert Augsburger

  Creative Digital Studios

  CreativeDigitalStudios.com

  Cover Image Copyright © George Mayer/Dollar Photo Club

  “Nude woman with silver make-up”

  ISBN e-book: 978-0-9911873-2-4

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.