Chasing Desire

by Jennifer Domenico

  “Oh, goodness! I forgot to go over that.” She pulls out a paper from the folder. “You get a signing bonus for accepting the position of firm partner.”

  “Wow.”

  “Yeah.” She smiles.

  I sign the papers. “I’m having a nice lunch for everyone who helped me get to this spot. You should come, too.”

  “I didn’t help you.”

  “Yes, you did. You were…are important to me.”

  “You don’t even talk to me.”

  “I don’t know what to say.”

  Brittney looks down at her desk. “I don’t either. I just don’t get you.”

  “In what way?”

  “I hear all about your antics in the office. Not to mention Jessica and I have to process all the outgoing interns.”

  “I am not responsible for every intern who leaves.”

  “No, but most. Don’t you get tired of being such a player?”

  “Sometimes. I screwed up with you, but you see now why we broke up. I wasn’t ready to settle down with anyone. If I had been it would have been you.”

  “I know. You just seem like a completely different guy than you were when we were together. You were nice back then and sweet to me. Now you seem, well…” Her voice trails off. “Honestly, you seem like an arrogant jerk.”

  “You were easy to be sweet to. You brought out my better qualities.” I twist my hands. This is difficult. “Like I said before, the closer we got, the more afraid I was that I would blow it. I wasn’t ready.”

  “I hope you find someone someday who doesn’t scare you.”

  “Did you find someone?”

  “Yes. We’ve been dating for a year.”

  “Oh, that’s great. What’s his name?”

  “Jason.”

  “I’m happy for you. Truly. You deserve someone way better than me.”

  “I deserve someone faithful to me, but honestly, Brayden, in my eyes there wasn’t anyone better than you.”

  I really want to reach across the table and hug her. Brittney was always a sweet girl and I wish things could have been different.

  “I’m not a good guy and I know it. I don’t always treat women the way I should. I hope Jason treats you like the treasure you are.”

  “He does.” She plays with a lock of her hair. “I know that deep down inside there is a good person in you. I think you’re caught up in everything that life has to offer, but just because you can have every woman you want doesn’t mean you should.”

  “You’re not the first to give me this advice.”

  “I’m only saying it because I care about you. I always have. I don’t want to see you waste your life on one-night stands. You’re better than that.”

  “Am I?”

  “I believe you are.” She looks down again.

  “Aw, Brittney. I’ve always regretted you. I was an ass and I’m sorry. I really am.”

  “I know. It’s why I don’t hate you.”

  I stand to leave, not knowing what else to say to her. “Can I give you a hug?”

  “I don’t think you should.”

  I sigh quietly. “Jason is a lucky man.”

  “Thank you, Brayden.” She looks away from me and I feel like an even bigger ass than I did before.

  “I’ll see you around.”

  “Congratulations, again.”

  “Thanks.”

  I go back upstairs with a heavy heart. Brittney was falling in love with me and I knew it, but I kept her around, making her think we had more than we did. I tried to resist the allure of gorgeous women everywhere, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t be monogamous.

  I walk straight to my office and sit quietly for a few minutes. Most of the women I know mean nothing to me. They only want me for sex, so it doesn’t bother me to give them that and leave. Brittney was different, though. If I wasn’t so screwed up, she could’ve been the one. Macy knocks on my door, interrupting my thoughts. I wave for her to enter.

  “Everything alright?” she asks.

  “Yeah. Perfect, in fact. Why?”

  “I don’t know. You had an odd look on your face when you came back up then you shut your door. Just checking on you.”

  “I had to meet with Brittney, which is always hard. I broke her heart and it sucks.”

  “I imagine it does. She meant something to you, didn’t she?”

  I nod my head. “It was just bad timing. I couldn’t be a stand-up guy. I still can’t.”

  “Maybe you should give yourself a chance. You haven’t tried since her.”

  “True.” I look up and smile. “Anyway, I’ve got a lot of work to do, so I should get back to it.”

  “Okay.”

  Several hours go by while I work on some upcoming proposals. I know as soon as the announcement goes out about my promotion, my whole world is going to change. The salary, the penthouse office, the perks and most of all, the respect that comes with that position. I’m ready for it.

  I pull into the parking garage at work. As I walk through the building, I greet the many people who I interact with on a fairly regular basis. Unfortunately, there are more than a few women I’ve fucked, too. It’s always that awkward moment when I see them. I see the questions on their face. Why didn’t I call? Was there something I didn’t like? Every girl, every time. Normally, I don’t really care, but after my run of misfortune lately, I’m very self-aware at the moment. I head upstairs and after greeting Macy, pour myself a cup of coffee and settle in for the day.

  Before I start reading my emails, our instant messaging system starts blowing up my computer with congratulations from my coworkers. I guess the announcement officially went out. I answer them all with a ‘thanks, I’m stoked’ as fast as I can. Within minutes people start stopping by my office to wish me well in person. It actually feels really good that people like me and are genuinely happy for me. In between all of this, Charles sends me a message telling me I’m expected at the three o’clock executive meeting. Two hours goes by and I still haven’t been able to read one single email.

  Finally, the constant influx of people and instant messages slows down and I have a chance to breathe and get caught up on some work. I ask Macy to order lunch for me and ask her to hold my calls. Even though I’m beyond busy, I can’t wipe the stupid grin off my face.

  Friday finally comes around. Normally after such a busy week I would relax with friends and drinks after work, but tonight I’m meeting Mackenzie and the anticipation of it has been constantly on my mind. For the past twenty minutes, I’ve been researching what I could about her. I grin, knowing that my research is really just an excuse to look at her. Still, for a budding career, she is making a name for herself. Tonight should be interesting. I look down at my watch and take a deep breath. I need to leave if I want to meet her on time. I grab my keys and head out.

  Arriving at the restaurant, my heart is racing. Just knowing what she looks like is enough to get my blood pumping. I’ve convinced myself since her call that this is nothing but two professionals meeting to discuss business. I’m trying to ignore that I feel like a ball of horny energy right now and I’m about to lay eyes on someone whose looks blow me away from a computer screen. Maybe she’s not that beautiful in person. If I’m lucky, I won’t be attracted to her at all.

  I take a seat at the table and study the menu while I wait for Mackenzie to walk in. As I wipe my palms on my slacks, I realize I’m a little nervous even though she should be, not me. She’s trying to get a job. Instead, it’s me shaking in my boots, waiting for the beauty to walk in that I cannot fuck. Can. Not. Fuck.

  The waiter comes over to take my drink order just as the front door opens and a statuesque woman with flaming red hair walks in. She looks around for a moment before her eyes settle on me. Her face lights up with recognition and she smiles. She walks confidently in my direction. She’s wearing a white blouse that buttons up and opens at her neck, revealing a thick silver necklace with a cursive M dangling from it. Her lower body is wrapped
in a dark red skirt. As my eyes follow the length of her toned legs, they stop on the shiny black stilettos that grace her feet. Quickly, I bring my eyes back up to meet hers just as she arrives at the table. I stand to greet her, hoping my attraction to her isn’t as obvious as it feels. The luck I was hoping for just ran out.

  “You must be Brayden,” she says. Holy fucking shit. Her voice is even better in person.

  “I am. Mackenzie, I assume.”

  “You assume correctly.”

  “Have a seat. Would you like something to drink?”

  “Sure. I’ll have a Stella.”

  I motion for the waiter and give him her drink order. I like that she chose a beer and not some girly cocktail. That will impress clients. I study her face for a moment. She has piercing green eyes and very pretty skin. I can tell she spends a lot of time on her appearance and it pays off. There isn’t anything about her that isn’t stunning. Even her nails are perfectly manicured.

  “So,” I start. “You plan to seduce–” I stop abruptly. “Impress me?” I can’t believe I just let that slip out.

  Mackenzie smiles. “It’s a bit early for seduction.” She winks at me and I just about fall out of my chair. “I do hope to impress you, though.”

  “That’s what I meant.” I’m losing my cool in front of her.

  “I appreciate that you agreed to meet with me after hours. I hope this restaurant wasn’t too far out of the way for you.”

  “Not at all. I can understand the need for privacy. It wouldn’t bode well for either of us to be seen together.”

  “Right.” The waiter returns with her beer and my eyes focus on her luscious, pink lips as she takes a sip. “I hear congratulations are in order. Partner?”

  “Yes, thank you.”

  “I have great timing.” She fingers the necklace she wears and my stomach does a backflip. “As I said on the phone, I think you need me. I need you, too, so this should be an agreeable relationship.”

  She’s very forward. Also a positive quality. “How is it that I need you, Ms. Reed?”

  “Please, call me Mackenzie.” Her words ooze from her mouth and I know she is well aware of how fucking sexy she is.

  “Okay, Mackenzie. Explain to me why you think I need you.” I do need her. To sit on my dick. I take a sip of water to calm myself.

  “Well, I’ve done a lot of research on your firm and clearly your most direct competitor in the San Diego area is Christiansen. It’s a neck and neck race very often. I think Capella has the slight advantage and frankly, the only reason Christiansen is keeping pace with you is because of me. Particularly in the area of Health and Beauty products.”

  “True.”

  “Rumor has it you even lured Stunning Lady away from us. Although, I think I could have made that more difficult for you if I had done the pitch.” She smiles and sips her beer.

  I raise my eyebrows. She’s been doing her homework. “It’s obvious you know what you’re talking about, but why me? What makes you think I’m the right one for you?” In my head that sounded a lot more professional than it came it out.

  “Look at me. I’m young, trendy, forward thinking. I am the target market. Christiansen is not keeping up with the trends. They try, but there are many executives there who want to stay conservative and traditional. They feel it’s their niche. When they do something modern, it’s a train wreck. I want to be progressive, sexy, and push the envelope. I want my ads to linger with people. I’m sure I can learn a lot from you. You represent everything I want, Mr. James.”

  I’m not sure we are talking about the same thing right now. I grin and take a sip of my drink.

  “Please, call me Brayden.” I like everything about this woman, but I can’t make it that easy on her. She could be all talk and no results. She’ll have to prove herself like everyone else does. “I’d like to see a presentation of any product you like, even one already on the market. How soon do you think you could have that for me?”

  “I anticipated you would want that. I prepared a video clip of my style and I have a portfolio of products I’ve proposed. I also have a live presentation I’m prepared to give you whenever you like.” She lowers her voice. “I could do it tonight if you want to go somewhere more private.”

  I sure the fuck do. I run my fingers through my hair to compose myself. She could be married or in a relationship for all I know.

  “Where do you want to go?”

  “We could go to my place. It’s not far from here and we could be alone there.”

  “You live alone?” Did I just ask her that?

  Mackenzie grins. “I do.”

  “Okay.”

  “So, we can finish dinner and then I’ll present to you, if you have the time.”

  “I have time.”

  “Good,” she says.

  This is not good. The last place I should go is to her house alone. I study the menu for a minute, but really I’m convincing myself this is all just business. We are professionals, not animals who can’t keep their hands to themselves. I can do this. Besides, I’m the boss now. I can’t start fucking my staff. Even though Mackenzie doesn’t work for me. Yet. I have no doubt in my mind I’m going to hire her. As soon as possible.

  “Penny for your thoughts?” Mackenzie’s sultry voice breaks into the chaos in my mind.

  “Just what I want for dinner.” I smile back at her. Poker face, don’t fail me now. The waiter approaches and we each order our food. I choose a light pasta dish since I’m suddenly not very hungry. I have no idea what my dining partner ordered since I can barely hear anything other than my own racing thoughts. All I can think about is trying not to think about Mackenzie Reed naked.

  I realize, embarrassingly, that Mackenzie is staring at me while I gaze off into space.

  “Everything alright?” she asks.

  “Yeah, fine. So, tell me more about your experience and your education.”

  “Sure. I went to a private college and got my degree in Marketing, of course. After I graduated, I interned at Christiansen and they hired me as an assistant account manager. I studied the craft from everyone around me and developed a strong close rate. My clients were always happy with me so I was quickly promoted to my current role. I manage fifteen accounts right now.”

  “Do you have a team?”

  “I have some interns assigned to me, but nothing else. Another reason I want to come to work for you. I need to grow.”

  All I heard her say was come for me. Yes, I would definitely like to see her come for me. The waiter approaches, which snaps me out of my delusions. As he sets our plates down, I return to my normal professional demeanor.

  “Your career sounds impressive so far. You’re young to be doing so well.”

  “I’m a year younger than you.”

  “You look younger. Not that it matters. I don’t think you have any trouble commanding a room.”

  Mackenzie smiles. “Thank you. I do alright.”

  “You definitely make an entrance. I can tell you aren’t someone who backs down easily.”

  “That’s correct. Once I decide I want something,” she emphasizes before continuing, “Nothing will get in my way.”

  “Good to know.”

  “I would imagine it’s exactly the quality you need in your employees.”

  “I admire it, yes.” I take a gulp of my drink, swishing the ice around in my glass. “I’m looking forward to your presentation later. What’s it about?”

  “You’ll see.”

  I grin. I definitely like her.

  We finish dinner and step outside. I’m thankful for the cool breeze that hits my face. It brings me much needed clarity before I go to this woman’s house. I need to remind myself that I’m trying to clean up my act.

  “Where do you live?”

  Mackenzie walks to the edge of the sidewalk and points to her right. “See this street? Go straight down here to the stop sign. Then turn left. Take your first right into the parking lot. You can park out front or v
alet park and I’ll meet you in the lobby.”

  “You could walk there from here.”

  “I could, but not in these shoes.” She smiles and twists her foot around. “I drove. It’s literally less than five minutes from here.”

  “Okay, I’ll see you in less than five.”

  “Sounds good.”

  I watch her walk to her car and get in before doing the same. Following the directions she gave me, it takes me all of three minutes to get to her place. By the time I park, Mackenzie is already standing on the sidewalk waiting for me.

  “It’s a nice night,” she says.

  “Yes, really nice.”

  “Well, shall we?” she asks, motioning inside.

  “Yep.”

  We walk inside and over to the elevator bank. Her building is very similar to mine, although not as modern. The furnishings in the lobby make me feel like sitting down in one of the overstuffed chairs and reading a book. In my lobby, you feel like you are at a modern art museum.

  The doors open and she pushes the button for the tenth floor.

  “Funny, I live on the tenth floor, too,” I say. “Not here, obviously.”

  “Obviously,” Mackenzie repeats, smiling.

  The doors open and we step out onto her floor. She reaches into her purse for her keys and unlocks her door. Walking in behind her, I look around her all-white living room. It’s very stark with a touch of sex appeal in the art and red accessories she chose. The space suits her well and I’m starting to realize we have a lot in common, at the least our design aesthetic.

  “Nice place.”

  “Thanks. Can I get you something to drink?”

  “I think water would be good.” Alcohol will only lead to trouble.

  “Coming right up.” Mackenzie disappears in her kitchen as I drag my hand over her white couch. I bet she looks amazing laying on it with her bright red hair spilling all around her. God, why couldn’t she be ugly?

  “Here you go.” Mackenzie hands me a glass of ice water. “Have a seat and I’ll get my presentation set up.”

  “Okay.” I sit down and wait for a moment. Mackenzie reappears and I notice her entire demeanor has changed. She has a gleam in her eye that interests me.