Chasing Desire

by Jennifer Domenico

  “I’m very excited to share my ideas with you on launching this new product line. I believe by the time we’re finished here tonight, you’ll be convinced that I’m the right one for you.”

  I say nothing because I can’t. I’m completely captivated by the red haired beauty before me. I watch as she sets up a small easel and places a storyboard on it.

  “As you know, Mr. James, there are many lingerie brands on the market so it’s very important that the advertising for your brand make a clear statement on why it’s the preferred choice.” She reaches into a bag and pulls out several pieces of lingerie. “For example, all one needs to do is touch the fabric of your exclusive Noir bras and lingerie to understand the quality that went into making it. I want women to understand when they put this on they will feel beautiful, sexy, special even. The material caresses the skin as it supports and defines a woman’s best qualities.”

  Holy fuck. She’s presenting lingerie to me. I’m aware of the building erection between my legs. She is talking about bras and all I can focus on is her body and what she must look like wearing one of the items she holds.

  “Not only are the items beautiful, but they provide support for women who are, well, shall we say full figured. The size range is amazing and much more comprehensive than your average department store.” Mackenzie smiles and I shift uncomfortably in my seat. “So,” she says, turning back to her storyboard. “We’ll highlight the things that are different about your brand- size, quality, and fit wrapped in a sensual package. These are things a woman needs in her life.” She grins again and I take a drink of water. “I call it the look of desire.”

  Fuck yeah. She is exactly what desire looks like. I have a feeling that every man she ever presents to will do whatever she says and possibly even the women. I am fool if I don’t hire her and insane if I do. I want to clap or shout or tear off her clothes.

  “Very nice. Is that an actual pitch you did?”

  “Yes, I worked on it last year before I transitioned to Health and Beauty. The company’s profits increased twenty percent in the two months the ad ran so it was very successful. They gifted me their entire collection as a thank you.”

  “That’s your personal collection?” There I go, asking stupid questions again.

  “Yes.”

  I take a deep breath to clear my mind of indecent thoughts. “That was well done. You are very competent at what you do and it’s obvious that I need you.”

  Mackenzie smirks. “I need you, too, Mr. James.”

  “My team needs you,” I correct.

  “Of course.”

  “What kind of salary are you looking for?”

  “I’m sure you can come up with something worthy of my talent.”

  “Give me a couple of days to see what I can do.”

  “I’ll wait.”

  “Good.” I finish my water. “I should go.”

  “If you must.”

  Oh yeah, I must. “Unless you have something else you’d like to show me.”

  A gorgeous smile appears on her lips. “I can’t give you everything all at once.”

  I walk towards the door and stick my hand out to shake hers. “It was nice meeting you. I’m very impressed with your work.”

  Mackenzie takes my hand and moves a little closer. “You haven’t even begun to see what I could do for you. If you take me on, I’ll be worth it. I assure you I’ll exceed your expectations.”

  “I have no doubt. Good night, Mackenzie Reed.” I’m thankful that words actually came out of my mouth.

  “Good night, Brayden James.”

  I walk back to my car. It’s obvious there is some serious sexual tension between us and I know I wasn’t the only one who felt it. The agency could use her, but I’ll have to be careful not to get caught up in something with her. I cannot be fucking around with associates. No matter how much I want to.

  Back at my place, I lie in bed and stare at the ceiling. I completely lost my cool in front of her. I don’t know what it is about her that makes me act stupid. My normally smooth and commanding presence was completely overwhelmed by her charm and beauty. If I hire her, which I know I’m going to, I have to keep it professional and not act like a horny frat boy in her presence. Somehow, I have to figure out how to stop thinking about the beautiful redhead I met tonight.

  Monday rolls around again and I spend it in a daze of meetings and getting used to my new responsibilities. After a long work day, I’m looking forward to catching up with my buddy Dan. I haven’t had a chance to talk to him again since the night of that weird dream.

  Checking my watch, I start to walk to the elevators. As I walk, I see people whispering, which annoys the hell out of me. Everyone still talks about Meredith. It seems she was well liked around here. Messing around with her blew up in my face and I guess it was the lesson I needed. I got the message, Universe. Loud and clear.

  Once in the lobby, I see Dan and wave. He finishes his phone call and smiles at me.

  “Hey,” he says, giving me a manly shoulder hug. “How’s it going?”

  “Good. Is the burger place across the street good for you?”

  “Yeah, that works. I’m starving.”

  “How’s business?” I ask as we walk across the street. It will be a miracle if we make it through one meal without Dan answering his phone five times. At least the stock market is closed for the day.

  “Good, but busy as usual. The market is starting to rebound. I’m glad, since I have a very expensive wedding to pay for.”

  “I can only imagine. Kelly has good taste.”

  “She picked me,” Dan says, laughing. “So what’s been going on with you?”

  “I got promoted to partner last week.”

  “Seriously? Congratulations, man!”

  “Thanks. I’m really happy about it.” We walk inside and the hostess seats us.

  “That’s fantastic.” We talk for several minutes about my promotion before Dan asks, “What else is going on? Got any new women?”

  “Oh, man. Things on the romantic front have been insane.”

  I know I can tell Dan anything and trust him with it. He’s the one friend who has always stuck by me. Really, he’s closer to a brother. Although not my finest moments, I tell him about Denise and Meredith, pausing only to let the waitress bring us drinks. As I’m talking he is laughing his ass off.

  “She fucking shit on you? Dude! That has never happened to me.”

  “Yeah, me neither. I guess I knew it could, but what chick says do me in the ass when she has a poop on deck? She was mortified. So was I.”

  “Did you shower for a year?”

  “Just about. I mean, it wasn’t a lot, but it was gross just the same. Definitely a buzz kill. You should’ve seen her, too. She was hot.”

  “Fucking hilarious!”

  “Not so much. Anyway, I have something serious to discuss if you’re done laughing at my expense.”

  Dan takes a sip of his beer. “Okay, I’m good. Whew, that was funny, though.”

  “Remember that crazy nightmare I had? About the pregnant women in my bedroom?”

  “Yeah.”

  I stop talking as our server approaches to take our order. I glance at her and notice she’s really cute. Normally I would start charming her, but I’m preoccupied at the moment. We give her our orders and she leaves.

  “Well, things have been off for me ever since, to the point where I’m starting to think maybe I should consider trying to change my ways.”

  Dan nearly spits his beer out. “No way?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Do you want advice?”

  “Yes.”

  “Here’s the deal. I was just like you, remember? Nailing every hot chick who crossed my path. I got tired of it. Tired of waking up next to someone and trying to remember her name.”

  I nod and keep chewing my burger.

  “The constant hustle is exhausting. Worrying about if the girl is gonna get all needy and psycho on you or always
balancing your social calendar. Remembering which girl is tonight. Don’t even get me started on the safe sex talk. Remember when your condom broke with that girl during Spring Break?”

  “Yeah. That sucked for about two weeks.”

  “If she had gotten pregnant that would have ruined your life. Not to mention the STD factor.”

  “I know.”

  “Over time I realized how much it sucks when I wanted to do something, but all my buddies were with their girls.” He chuckles. “Except you, of course.”

  “Ha. Ha.”

  “Anyway, I convinced myself that my friends were dumbasses because they were tied down with a woman, but really inside I wished I had someone to call who actually cared about me and not just my looks and my bank account. You don’t have to admit that to me, but I know I felt that before.”

  I sit quietly. Yeah, that thought has hit me before. Shit.

  “All I’m saying is there comes a time when this player shit needs to stop. Otherwise, you’re gonna wake up one day and be like where the fuck did my life go. You’re gonna get sick of the whores who don’t have any self-respect. Think about a guy like you coming after your sister. How does that make you feel?”

  I put my burger back on the plate. “Disgusting.”

  “Yeah. I don’t think you’re too far gone yet, though. You’re a good guy underneath it all. You’re just stuck at the college level when it comes to women. A man in his twenties is just being young. A guy in his thirties acting like that is turning the corner to sleaze ball. At forty, you’re a perv.”

  “I’m still in my twenties.”

  “For a minute. You’ll be thirty in a few months.”

  “I know.”

  “Think about it. There’s more to you than a pretty face and a raging sex drive, I bet.”

  I laugh. “When you met Kelly did you just know, like they say?”

  “Yeah, kind of. I mean, I knew I liked her in a way that was different than how I felt about other girls. I didn’t know I would marry her until about three months in.”

  “That’s cool.” I take a sip of my beer. “Tell me about the wedding planning,” I say, changing the topic. I listen to Dan update me and I smile to myself as I realize how in love he is with Kelly.

  “Well, you know I’ll be there,” I say when he finishes.

  “Yeah, I know.”

  After dinner with Dan, I head back to my car and then realize I forgot my car keys on my desk. I take the elevator up to my office. It’s nearly deserted, but as I walk through I see two coworkers talking in the hallway. I say hi as I pass and one of them stops me.

  “Hey, Brayden. What are you doing here?”

  “Forgot my keys. What’s going on?”

  “Not sure. We were about to leave when we saw this woman come in we’ve never seen before. She went straight up to the penthouse suite.”

  “Yeah? So?”

  “So the only person up there is Charles.”

  “You sure it wasn’t his wife?” I ask.

  The two guys look at each other. “Definitely not his wife,” one says. “She looked really serious, like something is upsetting her.”

  I shrug. “Hmm, well that’s weird, but I’m sure it’s fine.”

  “Yeah,” one guy says. “We weren’t sure if we should go up there or not. Maybe you should go.”

  “Do you think I need to?”

  “I don’t know,” one of them says. “She had a bag with her and was acting nervous.”

  “Okay. I’ll go up and check on him after I get my keys.”

  The men walk off and after grabbing my keys, I push the elevator for the top floor. I’m sure everything is fine, but the guys did seem concerned. The doors open and I stop dead in my tracks. Right in front of my eyes is my normally distinguished boss, on his knees with his face buried between the woman’s legs. He is completely naked and oblivious to my presence. The woman, who I would card if she ordered a drink, is wearing some kind of schoolgirl get up. She lifts her foot and kicks Charles back slightly. He clamors to his knees again and begs to be spanked. Seriously?

  I watch for several minutes. Not because I want to, but because my eyes can’t believe what they see. Charles is on his fourth wife and he’s still fucking around. I back away, trying not to attract attention, but stumble over a potted plant when I reach the elevator. Luckily, the doors open and I quickly step on, hoping Charles didn’t see me. That sucked.

  As I walk to my car, I feel a little sick. Dan said acting like that in your forties makes you a perv. What does it make you in your fifties? Based on what I just saw, it makes you a sorry piece of shit. His wife fucks the pool boy and he fucks a girl who looks young enough to be his granddaughter. Gross.

  I pull into the parking garage of my place. Everyone in my life is afraid I won’t settle down and get married some day and I’ll be some old slime ball chasing hot, young women around. I wouldn’t call Charles that—he’s still good looking—but what the hell was that scene about? Some desperate attempt to stay young? He already has a wife young enough to be his daughter.

  I walk up to my apartment and hurry inside before Gretchen can catch me. She’s just like my boss, chasing after men half her age. I can’t imagine finally getting married and then chasing women around, anyway. Then again, not getting married and banging endless women is just as bad. The thought makes me kind of sick. That’s not the future I want.

  As I drive to work, I think about yesterday and my conversation with Dan. I guess if I’m honest with myself, I’ve never even stopped to think about my actions with women. I don’t try to have relationships, so how would I know if I wanted that? How would I even know how to have one? If I met the right girl, would she teach me? The closest I ever got was Brittney and even that for me wasn’t as serious as it was for her.

  I think back to when my attitude towards relationships set in. I was fifteen, maybe. My first girlfriend taught me a lot about how to please a woman. She also taught me to have fun and keep feelings out of the equation. Her advice resonated with me after watching the horrific marriage my parents endured. To this day, I have no idea why one of them doesn’t just leave. I made up my mind that the best way to avoid a bad relationship was not to have one at all. Now, even I have to admit that I may have taken that belief too far.

  I pull into my parking space at work and walk inside. When I get to my office, Macy tells me Charles wants to see me in his office. Oh great. The image of him on his knees eating that chick out and begging to be spanked rushes back.

  “Do you know what he wants?”

  “No, he just said as soon as you got in.”

  “Okay.” I sigh and turn back around for the elevators. Pressing the button for the penthouse, I dread what this is about. I have no upcoming pitches and as far as I know I haven’t done anything wrong lately. I really don’t want to see him. After what I witnessed last night, you just can’t un-see some things.

  I smile when I see Nancy. “Good morning. I understand Charles wanted to see me?”

  “He does. Go on in.”

  “How’s his mood?”

  “Somber.”

  “Hmm, okay. Thanks.” I wink at her then head in to see him.

  Charles sits with his back turned to me staring out the window that overlooks downtown San Diego. I walk in and wait to be addressed. He finally turns around and looks at me.

  “Can you shut the door, please?” he asks.

  “Sure.” I close it and wonder what we are going to talk about that requires such privacy.

  “Have a seat.”

  I sit and wait nervously. His demeanor is oddly subdued.

  “I know you saw me last night,” he says.

  Ah, fuck. Now what the hell do I say? I sit without saying a word.

  “I’d like to explain,” Charles says.

  “You don’t owe me an explanation. I only came up to make sure you were okay and I tried to leave without attracting attention.” The last thing I want to do is talk about what I saw.


  “I’m sure that was shocking for you.” Charles takes a deep breath. “There are just certain things that a man cannot do with his wife.”

  “Why?”

  “Because she wouldn’t understand. Or she doesn’t like those things. Sometimes a man has needs that his wife cannot meet.”

  “Like getting spanked by a girl dressed like a child who doesn’t look old enough to buy herself a drink?” I probably shouldn’t have said that, but come on.

  Charles’s lips flatten into a thin line. “That girl is a woman. She’s twenty-three; she just has a youthful appearance. I won’t deny that I enjoy the occasional role playing session with her. My wife wouldn’t understand.”

  “Have you asked her?”

  “No. It’s just not something I want to see her do. I want her to be…sacred.”

  “Sacred? That doesn’t even make any sense, Charles. You don’t want your wife acting like that so you cheat on her?”

  “I don’t see it as cheating. I just need the outlet every now and then.”

  “Why in the office? People saw her and were concerned. That’s why I came up.”

  “It was part of the game.” A grin crosses his lips before he quickly retracts it. “It was wrong, though. I just wanted one last time before I retire. I realize it’s a little hypocritical of me, but I thought everyone was gone.”

  “You know what? It’s your life. I don’t really care, to be honest. I don’t get it, but I don’t have to.”

  “I just want to make sure you aren’t planning to share this discovery with anyone.”

  “No.”

  “I appreciate that. The last thing I need is another divorce.”

  “Can I go now?”

  “Yes. You’ll be moved up here by Friday this week.”

  “Great.” I start to leave, but pause. “You know I’m promoting Matt to my position.” He nods. “I’m also hiring a new account rep to replace him. She’s from Christiansen.”

  “Oh?”

  “Yeah, she pursued me and I was really impressed with her pitch. I think she’ll fit in well.”

  “Good. Always remember to build the strongest team you can. Look for people who could do your job so that you can do your boss’s job, like I did with you.”