Chasing Desire

by Jennifer Domenico

  Back in my office, I fire off an email announcing to everyone the contract that we landed today. I make a point of making it all about Mackenzie and Matt.

  Macy knocks on my door. “Today went well?”

  “Perfect.”

  “That’s wonderful. It’s good to see you so happy, boss.”

  I stop typing and look up at her. “It’s good to feel this happy. Everything is going so well. I feel like the luckiest man alive.”

  “Enjoy it. You absolutely deserve it.”

  “Thanks, Macy.” My private line rings. “Excuse me.”

  Macy smiles. “No problem.”

  “Hello?” I answer.

  “Thanks for sending that out, but you should have given yourself some credit, too.”

  “I don’t need credit. My job isn’t to make myself look good. It’s to support you guys. You got the account and you got the call in the first place.”

  “Thanks, anyway. I really appreciate it.”

  “It’s what I do.”

  “What else do you do?”

  “Beautiful redheads named Mackenzie Reed.”

  “Ooh, I’m in luck then.”

  “Yes, you are. I’ll see you around six.”

  “You will.”

  “Bye, my sweet.”

  “Bye, smooth talker.”

  “Am I?”

  She laughs. “You know that.”

  “It’s genuine. Just for you.”

  “I know.”

  “See you soon.”

  “Okay.”

  I hang up the phone and smile. Yes, everything is perfect.

  The next week is busy with signing new contracts and bringing in accounts. I know pretty soon we’ll be ready to pursue nationwide companies. I put the finishing touches on the proposal that I plan to submit to the board. I’m predicting next year is going to be huge.

  My private extension rings and I know it’s Mackenzie.

  “Hey, gorgeous,” I answer.

  “Hey, yourself. Got a minute?”

  “I have lots of minutes for you.”

  She laughs softly. “Thank you. So I have to go out of town for a few days.”

  “Oh?”

  “Yeah, one of my friends called and she’s leaving her boyfriend. I’m gonna pack her up and bring her out here for a while.”

  “Where is she?”

  “Phoenix. I knew it wouldn’t work out, but she was headstrong and went with him anyway when he got a new job out there.”

  “Do you need me to come and help?”

  “Not necessary. She doesn’t have anything but clothes to bring. She hates flying so I’m gonna fly with her.”

  “That’s nice of you.”

  “Hey, that’s what friends do, right?”

  “Right. When are you leaving?”

  “Today. I already talked it over with Matt. I’ll only be gone until Sunday morning.”

  “Then you’ll come over and see me?”

  “Do you want me to?”

  “That’s a silly question. I’ve spent every night with you for weeks. I don’t even know how I’ll sleep without you for two days.”

  “It’s good for us. Helps remind us of what we have.”

  “I don’t need a reminder. I think about it every day.”

  “Me, too.”

  She’s quiet and I wonder if she is thinking the same thing I am.

  “I’ll miss you, Mac.”

  “Yeah, I’ll definitely miss you, too.”

  “Stop by before you go?”

  “For what reason?”

  “I don’t know. Bring something to show me. I just need to kiss you.”

  She laughs. “Okay, I’ll come up with something.”

  “I’ll look forward to it.”

  I hang up and feel something that I find completely foreign. I don’t know how to describe it, but it definitely has Mackenzie’s name on it.

  Macy knocks on my door and I motion for her to come in.

  “Hey, boss,” she says.

  “Hey. What’s up?”

  “I brought you the quarterly reports for your team. They just got delivered.”

  “Oh, awesome.” I take the stack from her. “Everything is good with you?”

  “Yeah, definitely. Wedding planning is coming along. Just finishing up the details now. You’re coming, right?”

  “Don’t be silly. Of course, I’m coming.”

  “Who are you bringing for a date?”

  Oh shit. A date. I didn’t even think about that.

  “I don’t know yet. I’ll find someone. Or maybe I’ll go alone.”

  “I’m inviting the whole team, you know.”

  “Yep, I know.”

  “That means Mackenzie is invited.”

  “Makes sense, since she’s a part of the team.”

  “Why don’t you just admit something is going on between you two?”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Oh, whatever.” She sits down. “I’ve known ever since that day I saw you in the conference room with her. I know you both use this Majestic account as an excuse to meet. I’m not stupid.”

  “No, you’re very smart. Are people gossiping about us?”

  “No. I don’t think anyone else notices it. I do because I have a front row seat. I see your private line ring every day. I’m here when she comes to see you. I see the flush in her cheeks when she leaves. You have to know that you can trust me with this information.”

  “I trust you.”

  Macy sighs. “You still aren’t telling me.”

  “What if I am seeing her? Why does it matter to you?”

  “You want to know why I care? Okay, I’ll tell you. I’ve worked for you for many years now. I’ve been with you through countless women, many of whom worked here. You had a casual attitude about it all and I know none of them mattered to you. It’s obvious that Mackenzie is different. As soon as she’s around your whole demeanor changes. I think you’re in love with her.”

  I explode with laughter. “In love? Wow, you’ve spent a lot of time concocting this fantasy.”

  “The only one of us in a fantasy world is you. Maybe you haven’t realized it, but it’s clear to me.”

  “How so?”

  “We can start with your expression when she’s around. It’s, hmm…serene is a word that comes to mind.”

  “Serene? You’ve been reading romance novels again.”

  “No, I haven’t. I know what love looks like. You look at her the same way Simon looks at me.”

  “Are we done now?”

  “Are you in love with her?”

  I put my pen down and stare at the desk for a minute. If there is anyone in this world I can trust besides Mac, it’s Macy.

  “I don’t know if I’m in love with her. I’m not sure what that looks or feels like.”

  “You have feelings of some kind for her?”

  “Yeah.”

  “You’re dating her?”

  “Yeah.”

  Macy smiles. “I can tell she makes you very happy.”

  “Unbelievably.”

  “I’m happy for you even if you don’t know that you’ve fallen in love.”

  “How would I know?”

  “You just do. Stop fighting it. It will come to you.”

  “Thanks, Macy.”

  “Thanks for telling me. It was driving me crazy.”

  I laugh. “I bet.”

  A knock at the door captures our attention. Mackenzie is standing there with a few folders in her hands. My entire body heats up as soon as I see her and my heart flutters in my chest. Is that love?

  “Am I interrupting?” she asks.

  Macy stands up and walks towards her. “No, I was just giving the boss some updates. I’ll leave you two alone.” She smiles and shuts the door behind her.

  “What was that about?”

  “What?”

  “Macy, all smiley and sweet to me.”

  “Isn’t she always
sweet to you?”

  “She is polite and professional to me, but I wouldn’t call it sweet.”

  “She confronted me about us again. She asked me if we were dating.”

  “And you said?”

  “I said yes.”

  “What?!”

  “I know. I should have asked you first, but she was drilling me. She had all these observations about me when you’re around. It was hard to deny. Honestly, I didn’t want to.”

  “Shit, Brayden. We said no one.”

  “I know, but Macy has my back more than anyone in the company. Besides you. She would never hurt me. We can trust her.”

  “I guess I have to now.”

  “Please come over here. I need to feel your body.”

  She smiles and puts the folders on my desk. “I should be angry with you.”

  “I know.” I lift her arm and kiss it up to her elbow. “You smell so good.”

  “You always say that.”

  “Because it’s true.” I slide my hands up under her dress and rub her thighs. “You’re like a drug that I’m addicted to.”

  Mackenzie throws her head back without speaking. I continue to kiss every bare patch of skin I can find.

  “I’m not going to be okay for two days without you.”

  “You say the nicest things.”

  I stand and look into her eyes. “I mean it, Mackenzie.”

  “I know,” she whispers. “I will miss you, too.”

  “Will you?”

  “Come on, Brayden, you know how I feel about us.”

  I stand and bury my face in the crook of her neck. “Maybe you should tell me to make sure I know.”

  Mackenzie pushes me away, laughing. “Nice try.”

  “Macy thinks I’m in love with you. What do you think of that?”

  She pulls out of my arms and crosses my office to look out the windows. Her body language has completely shut down on me.

  “What did I say wrong?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Really?”

  She glances back at me and smiles. “You know I get uncomfortable with the love topic.”

  “Yeah, I know. Wish I knew why, but you won’t tell me.”

  “I know. I’m not there yet.”

  “So even if I was in love with you, you don’t want to hear that? You don’t want me to tell you how you make me feel inside?”

  “I don’t. Not yet. I just want to do things the way we do. Maybe I’ll get to the point someday where we can talk about this kind of stuff. If it lasts that long.”

  “Is that your fear? That what we have isn’t going to last?”

  “Yeah.”

  I approach her and wrap my arms around her waist.

  “I don’t want you to feel pressured or uncomfortable. We don’t have to talk about anything. We can just be. I’ll only say one thing. I don’t know the future, of course, but I know that I have no intention of giving you up. So if this ends, it will be you who makes that decision. Not me.”

  “You say that now.”

  “I mean it right now.”

  She turns and looks at me, rubbing my cheek. “I know.”

  “Are you happy, Mackenzie? With me? Do I make you happy?”

  “Yes.” She leans forward and kisses me softly. “I’m just scared.”

  “I know. Let’s just be in the moment. The future will take care of itself.”

  “I can do that.”

  I smack her ass playfully. “You better go before I lay you down on this desk and tear you up.”

  Mackenzie laughs. “Yeah, I better.” She starts to walk away. “Oh, I almost forgot. I saw this today and got it for you.” She hands me a small black box.

  “Jewelry for me?”

  She laughs. “Not quite. I just thought you might like it.”

  I open the box and see a four-leaf clover key ring. It brings a huge smile to my face.

  “Do you like it?”

  “Definitely.”

  “You can put my key on it and think of me when you see it.”

  I stare at it, rubbing my fingers over the shiny green metal. She has no idea how much this means to me. I shift my eyes up to meet hers. “I love it. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.” She smiles. “I can be sweet, too.”

  “I had no doubt.” I pull her arm so our bodies unite once more and kiss her deeply. “Call me when you get there.” I make a last minute decision and reach into my pocket. “Take my extra key.” I remove it from the ring. “Use it when you come home to me.”

  “I’ll call first.”

  “No need. I want you to come in and join me in whatever I’m doing at that moment.”

  “My flight gets in at five am Sunday morning. We took an early flight to save money.”

  “Good, then you can join me in bed.”

  Mackenzie smiles. “I can do that.”

  “I’ll be waiting for you.” I kiss her one more time, enjoying the closeness between us and the feel of her lips against mine. “See you later, babe.”

  “Yep.”

  She smooths her skirt down and fluffs her hair before walking out of my office. I know I have a smile a mile wide on my face. I wonder if the day will come when she opens up and tells me what happened to her that makes her so guarded.

  Realizing my weekend has suddenly opened up, I decide to call Dan and see if he wants to go to the bar for a while. I smile as I dial, knowing that now I’m that guy who doesn’t hang out with his friends because I’m with my woman.

  “Hey, Brayden,” Dan answers. “How the hell are ya?”

  “Hey, man. Doing really well. Would you have time to hang out after work tonight?”

  “Not tonight. I have a work event for Kelly. How about tomorrow night? Everything good?”

  “Yeah, awesome. Just want to catch up. Tomorrow night is cool.”

  “Great. I’ll meet you at that place right by your condo. They have good music.”

  “Around seven?”

  “That works. See you then.”

  “Cool.”

  I hang up. I can’t wait to tell Dan how much things have changed since the last time I saw him. Not only have I changed my whoring ways, I may just be in love. I stop typing my email for a second and chuckle. Me, Brayden James, in love? I’m not sure what it feels like, but if this is it, I like it.

  My phone rings and I rush to answer it, hoping it’s my girl. It’s Stacey.

  “Hello?”

  “Hi, Brayden, it’s Stacey.”

  “Hey, how are you?”

  “Good. I hope you don’t mind me calling. I got some last minute tickets to see a local band tonight and wondered if you’d like to join me?”

  “Oh, normally I would, but I made plans tonight.”

  “Oh, a date?”

  “No, hanging out with my friend from college. Maybe we can catch up some other time.”

  “That would be cool.”

  “Sorry I couldn’t make it tonight.”

  “No problem. Just thought I’d ask.”

  “See you around.”

  “Bye.”

  That was a little weird. I guess she hasn’t entirely given up on me. I hang up and finish getting ready to meet Dan at the bar. It’s been a little while since we hung out and I’m excited to hear what’s going on in his life and update him on what’s going on in mine. He’s going to laugh his ass off about how committed I am to just one woman. I’m not sure it’s ever happened. No, I am sure. It was Brittney and I failed miserably.

  I’m glad I took a chance with Mackenzie. I will definitely miss her for the two days that she’ll be gone. Does that mean I’m falling in love? And if I am, is Mackenzie? Could she be the woman who finally gets me to settle down for good?

  I walk inside the bar and find a table while I wait for Dan to arrive. Looking around the room I notice all the beautiful women and for the first time since I don’t know when, I don’t want any of them. I don’t want to talk to them. I only want Mackenzie.


  Dan walks in and I wave to get his attention. He greets me with a big man hug and a slap on the back.

  “Dude, it has been way too long since we last talked,” Dan says.

  “I agree. I’ve been busy with my new promotion and some other stuff.”

  “Other stuff? I guess that’s what we’re here to talk about tonight.”

  “Yep.”

  The server walks up and takes our drink order.

  “So, what’s going on with you?” Dan asks.

  “I started seeing someone.”

  “Okay, so how is this unusual?”

  “Because this time it’s serious. I think I might be falling in love.”

  “What!?”

  “Yeah, I know. It sounds crazy to me, too, but seriously, I met this girl and she’s flipped my whole world around.”

  “I don’t even know what to say. Maybe you should start from the beginning.”

  “Yeah, that’s a good idea.”

  I start by telling him everything that transpired with Mackenzie. Dan nods his head while listening and occasionally bursts into laughter at my expense. I’m sure I would think it was all very funny, too, if it wasn’t happening to me.

  “Okay, so wait,” Dan says, taking another gulp of his beer. “Why do you think you are falling for her?”

  “I don’t know. Does there have to be a reason?”

  “Articulate your feelings for her.”

  I wave the server over. “I think I’m gonna need something stronger than beer.”

  The waitress appears. “Can I get you boys something?”

  “Yeah, can you bring us a couple of shots of Patron?”

  “Sure, we have a special tonight. Buy one shot of premium liquor and get another one free.”

  “Well, then, bring us four shots,” I say. “We’re gonna be here a while.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Four shots?” Dan laughs. “Love isn’t that bad.”

  “Nah, I guess I’m happy about it. I mean, I don’t even really know if that’s what it is. My admin told me she thought I was because of the way I act. She’s says I’m happier now and when I see Mackenzie I get a look.”

  “What kind of look?”

  “I guess the kind that looks like I’m in love with her.”

  “So, have you told her?”

  “No. She’s not really open to it. I don’t know what happened in her past, but she definitely does not like talking about love. She just wants to hang out and have a good time, but doesn’t want to discuss feelings.”