Chasing Desire

by Jennifer Domenico

  Inside my place, the first thing I do is take a shower. It feels good after being cooped up under the desk all night. After I dry off, I rub lotion everywhere and spritz with perfume. I stare at my reflection for a moment and notice that the glow has returned to my cheeks. I’m in love with Brayden and now he knows it.

  He heard the ugly and he loves me anyway. Now I want him to see the rest of me. I want him to see Kenzie.

  As soon as I arrive home, I hop in the shower and wash quickly, then turn on some soft music and light a few candles. In the kitchen, I put out the makings for a nice and dirty martini. Who cares that it’s only nine o’clock in the morning.

  A couple of hours pass while I wait for Kenzie to return. In some ways, I’m thankful for that earthquake as it forced us together. I got my girl back.

  I hear a knock on my door and swing it open. Mackenzie stands there, wearing a pair of black yoga pants and a white t-shirt. Her hair is in a ponytail and she’s not wearing a stich of makeup. On her feet are purple sequined flip flops. She’s carrying a bag in her hands, which I take from her.

  “Hi,” she says.

  “Come in.”

  “Thanks.”

  “You look so different.”

  “Yeah. I just wanted to be me and let you see all of it.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “We covered a lot last night and you learned about who I am as a person.”

  “Yes, and I still love the hell out of you.”

  “I know.” She smiles. “So this is me. At work, the woman who wears the stilettos and the tight skirts and always has immaculate makeup and hair done, that woman is Mackenzie. She can go toe to toe with any man and win. She doesn’t back down from a challenge and she’s a total bad ass.”

  “Yes, she is.”

  “This woman,” she motions to herself, “the one wearing yoga pants and a ponytail, is Kenzie. She’s damaged and she’s been hurt quite a bit before. Her heart aches from loss and she is afraid to let anyone in.” She smiles and moves a lock of hair off of her face. “I don’t want to hide from you any longer. This is me, Brayden. I’m putting my guard down and trusting you to take care of me.”

  “Babe,” I pull her into my arms and hold her so tight I’m afraid I’m hurting her. “I can’t even tell you how happy I am. I want Kenzie, all of her, the bad ass side and this sweet, guarded, vulnerable, absolutely gorgeous woman I’m holding right now. If you’ll take me and all my flaws.”

  “What flaws?” she asks, looking up into my eyes.

  “There are many. Where do you want to start?”

  “I want you to take off my clothes and make love to me. I need your touch as much as I need the air that I breathe.”

  “Now?”

  “Yes.” She walks past me and sits on the couch and then pulls her shirt over her head. She’s wearing a white lace bra that I cannot wait to get off of her. Joining her, I pull her onto my lap so she is straddling me and kiss her, letting my hands roam over her body.

  She moans softly while we kiss and rubs her sweet pussy against my crotch. I lay her onto her back and pull her pants off, surprised to see she isn’t wearing any panties at all.

  “Fuck, Kenzie.”

  “Yeah?”

  “You’re so perfect, so fucking sexy. Do you know how badly I want you right now?”

  “Yes.”

  I move down between her legs and spread them wide open. I love the way she looks like this- open and ready for whatever I have for her. She keeps her gaze locked on me as my hands run along the inside of her thighs, up her stomach and over her amazing tits. I run my tongue up and down her slit, tasting the sweetness that can only be Kenzie. She runs her fingers through my hair in response.

  I drag my tongue along her pussy, sucking in her taste, and swirling my tongue in and out of her. I turn her onto her knees and slide my tongue from her ass to her clit and back again. As I smack her ass wildly, she cries out and wriggles against me, moaning loudly and clutching the edge of the couch for support.

  “Fuck, you taste so good. How do you do this to me? How is your pussy so sweet?”

  “Ooh… Bray… babe,” Kenzie murmurs.

  Grabbing her around the waist, I lift her up so she is completely upside down and plunge my face even deeper between her legs. She slides my sweat pants down and pulls my cock in her mouth. I suck in my breath from the sensation of her hot mouth on me. She holds on to my thighs and sucks me so good I feel like I might fucking bust already.

  I carefully lay us down, but we stay in this 69 awesomeness, sucking and licking each other. I slide two fingers deep within her and attempt to get her off. I can’t wait to hear her scream my name again. Kenzie grinds her puss against my face and fingers. I apply pressure to her clit and smile as her body tenses and her grip on my legs tighten. She cries out and then relaxes against me. I continue my oral assault. Kenzie’s body shakes against mine and she tosses her head back and forth, her hands moving her hair all over her face.

  “I love your taste,” I whisper. “I want it every day. I want you every day.”

  “It’s… yours…Bray,” she says, her words coming out staccato. “I’m… yours.”

  “That’s right. You’re mine.” I lift her upright and gaze into her amazing green eyes. “Sit on me. Slide down my cock, babe. It’s all for you.”

  “Yes,” she says and nods her head. Grabbing my dick, she guides it inside of her and lowers down. I kiss her mouth again. It turns me on when a woman lets me kiss her after I eat her out. I fucking love it.

  I buck my hips against her, bouncing her up and down. Kenzie throws her head back, but I pull her hair gently back towards me and kiss her hard. I feel like a madman for her right now. I can’t get enough. I want all of her.

  “Oh, yes! Fuck yes!” she screams out.

  “Ahh, fuck, Kenzie. Fuck!” I explode, digging my fingers into her tender flesh. She cries out again and for a moment I’m afraid I hurt her until I see the huge smile on her face. I release her slowly as our breathing returns to normal.

  “So amazing,” Mackenzie says, smiling. “You’re the best.”

  “We are good together.”

  “Perfect, actually.”

  “I agree.” We lie quietly against each other for several minutes. I stroke Kenzie’s gorgeous hair and count my blessings that she’s in my arms.

  “Can I ask you a question?”

  “Of course you can,” she responds.

  “Remember when we hooked up the first time and you told me you liked both women and men?”

  She twists her head up to look at me. “Yes.”

  “Was it true or just something you tell men to get their dicks hard?”

  Kenzie explodes with laughter. “It’s true. Or at least it was true. I am attracted to women sometimes.” She pauses and smiles. “Now that I have what I have with you, though, I don’t want anyone else. I don’t want anyone else’s touch or kiss. Just yours.”

  “Okay.”

  “I only want you now. I hope I haven’t crushed your dream of watching me with another woman.”

  “I admit when you first told me I thought it was really hot. Now, I don’t want that. I don’t want to see you with anyone else and I don’t want to share you. You are mine and only mine.”

  “Yes, I am. I would lose my shit if I saw you touch another woman, even if I invited her.”

  “Threesomes are for casual relationships. What you and I have is commitment.”

  Kenzie reaches up and rubs my cheek. “I need you to do something important for me.”

  “Anything.”

  “Feed me.”

  “I would love to.” I stand and look at the naked beauty lying on my couch. “What do you want to eat?”

  Her eyes shift to the floor for just a moment before she looks back at me. “I haven’t had a proper meal in days. Please don’t be angry with me.”

  “Why would I be angry? I just want you to be well so we can have a beautiful life together.” />
  She smiles. “That’s what I want, too. I just want to eat right now. Whatever you have.”

  “Okay. It’s on.” I smile. “Come sit here at the table so I can see you while I cook. I’m not ready for you to be out of my sight.”

  “Okay.” She walks over and sits down.

  “Do you want to put clothes on?” I ask.

  “Do you want me to?”

  “No. Never in fact. You look good in clothes, but you are beyond amazing naked.”

  “I need to gain back a few pounds.”

  “In time. Don’t pressure yourself.”

  “I’m trying.”

  “I’m gonna put my sweats on. I don’t like open flames near my package.”

  Kenzie laughs and it’s the best sound I’ve heard in ages. “Make sure you don’t hurt him. I need it later.”

  I put my sweats on and then kiss Kenzie on the nose. “I’m really happy you’re here.”

  “So am I.”

  My phone rings several times and I realize I must have just gotten my service back. It’s Macy.

  “Hey, Macy.”

  “Oh my god, are you okay? Is Mackenzie?”

  “Yeah, we’re both okay.”

  “I heard you were trapped in the building all night.”

  “We were. It was crazy, but we are fine.”

  “Thank goodness. I was so worried. I’ve been calling for hours, but no calls would go through.”

  “Thank you for your concern. You and Simon okay?”

  “Yes, fine. We had a tree fall and it blocked our garage door, but it’s been removed now. How was it being trapped with her all night?”

  “Amazing. She’s here now.” I look back at Kenzie and am rewarded with a smile.

  “That’s wonderful! I’m so happy.”

  “Me, too. Listen, can you call and activate the out of office system for me? I don’t know when we’ll all be able to get back in the building.”

  “Already did it. I left my number in case of emergency. Just enjoy your rare weekday off.”

  “Thanks, Macy. You’re the best.”

  “I know.” She laughs. “See you soon.”

  “Yep.” I hang up and make a point of turning the phone off. “It’s just me and you right now.”

  “Exactly the way I want it.”

  “After we eat, I’m taking you back to bed. We can just talk and make love all day.”

  “I can’t think of a better way to spend it.”

  I pull out two skillets and decide to cook a big breakfast. Fortunately for me, I always keep the basics in the house in case I don’t feel like going out to eat. Opening the fridge, I pull out eggs, a potato, butter, orange juice, and some strawberries. I pull open the meat drawer and grab a package of bacon.

  “We’re feasting today,” I say.

  “I need to.”

  “Do you, um… I don’t know how to ask this.”

  “You can say whatever you want.”

  “Do you have any restrictions when you’re dealing with your food issue?”

  “Oh, yeah, a laundry list of them!” She laughs. “My goal is to eat whatever you serve me and then to not go and do anything about it.”

  “Okay. Do I need to watch you?”

  “No. I feel really safe and happy right now and I have zero urge to get rid of my food.”

  “Would you tell me if you did have the urge?”

  “Absolutely. I hate it and want to be stopped.”

  “Okay. I just want you to tell me whatever you need. I don’t want to mess up because I didn’t know. Can you promise that if you’re hurting, you will tell me?”

  “I promise.”

  “Good. I was wondering something else.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Do you remember when we went to lunch before we were together and you said you didn’t believe in depriving yourself of food? Was that truthful?”

  “In that moment it was. I was in a healthy frame of mind and I can be reasonable with food. I actually really love to eat. That’s why bulimia worked for me.”

  “Makes sense.” I turn the stove on. “I’m not the best cook in the world, but I can handle breakfast.”

  “I’m sure it will be fine.”

  “Do you want some coffee?”

  “Yes, please. I’m dying over here.”

  I laugh. “Yeah, me, too.” I start the espresso machine and put it on the Americano setting. “You like cream and sugar?”

  “Yes. I’ll come in and make it.” She stands and walks over to the counter, reaching into the cabinet for coffee mugs. I’m completely distracted by her nudity and rub up against her backside.

  “You’re so beautiful. I can’t keep my hands off of you.”

  “I don’t want you to.”

  I kiss her neck. “I like you like this. Undone and natural.”

  She tilts her head and smiles. “Which do you like more?”

  “I love my bad ass account executive in her stilettos and skirts, who puts bitches in their place. She’s fucking sexy and it’s hot.” I run my hands up her stomach and onto her tits, squeezing them softly. “But I love my sweet girl that I’m holding right now, without her makeup and hair done. You are just as sexy and I have a constant hard on regardless of whether you are wearing makeup or not.”

  Kenzie twists around in my arms and smiles. “Thank you. It’s good to feel accepted. I’ve hidden my true self for a long time and it’s led to a lot of my issues.”

  “I just want you to be you, no matter what that looks like. I love you.” I tap her chest where her heart is and smile. “All of you. What you look like is just a bonus. The person you are and the way you make me feel inside is what I fell in love with.”

  She leans forward and kisses my lips softly. “You are an incredible man. I never thought I would be so lucky.”

  “That makes both of us.”

  I go back to my tasks, skillet frying the potatoes and bacon and scrambling the eggs. I put the bread in the toaster and sip my coffee while I wait. I pull out a plate and pile our breakfast on it and then I join Kenzie at the dining table, where she sits naked.

  “Let’s go in the living room. It’s more comfortable in there,” I suggest.

  Kenzie nods and follows me carrying two glasses of orange juice. She sits down Indian style and grins at the amount of food in front of her.

  “This feels like it’s my birthday or something,” she says.

  “When is your birthday?”

  “February.”

  “More specifically?”

  “The fourteenth. I’m a Valentine’s day baby.”

  “That’s awesome.”

  “It can be.”

  I scoop some eggs into her mouth and when she swallows she asks, “When is yours?”

  “June eighteenth.”

  “Coming up then.”

  “Yes.”

  “The big three o, huh?”

  “Yep.” I take a bite of toast.

  “How do you feel about it?”

  “Fantastic. I have everything I want.”

  “There is nothing left to conquer?”

  “There is.” I look down at the plate, wondering if I can say what I’m thinking right now.

  “And that is?”

  “Can I be honest with you?”

  “I hope you will.”

  “For the first time in my life, I want the rest of the dream. I want to marry the love of my life.”

  “You do?” she asks softly.

  “Yes.” I take her hand in mine. “I never thought I would want that. I guess I never thought I would meet someone who made me think of it. I hope that is the future for you and me.”

  Kenzie looks down at her hands and I can’t tell what she’s thinking. When she looks up, her striking green eyes are filled with tears.

  “You make me want that, too.”

  “It doesn’t scare you?”

  “Oh god, yes!” She laughs and wipes away the tear that falls down her cheek. “
It absolutely scares me, but if anyone could make me feel safe enough to do it, you could. Being at Macy’s wedding…the words were so amazing. I wanted those to be our words.”

  “The ceremony blew me away. It was the exact moment I knew I needed to tell you how I felt.” I feed her another bite of eggs. “When he talked about mattering to someone, I realized what an ass I was with women and how it was all just a game. Until I met you.”

  “Everything happens for a reason, they say. Even all the horrible things I’ve been through have brought me to this moment with you right now.”

  “And that’s good?”

  “It’s the best.”

  “Here, eat some bacon.” I hand her a strip. “I don’t want to hide anymore, Kenzie.”

  “I know. But I think we need to, for a while yet. We still don’t know who is fucking with us.”

  “They already know about us anyway.”

  “Yeah, but what would they do if we go public?”

  “Whoever is doing this saved us by calling for help. We might still be in that building now.”

  “I know. It’s so weird. It’s like they want to ruin our lives, but then they save us.”

  “Well, I guess it’s comforting to know they don’t want us dead.”

  “Yeah.” She reaches over and picks up a piece of toast and takes a bite. “Can I stay here for a while with you?”

  “Kenzie, baby,” I lean over and kiss her cheek. “You never have to leave.”

  I take another bite of toast and smile back at the handsome face looking at me. For the first time in a long time, I feel safe, loved, and… happy. Brayden is everything I never even let myself dream of. He lovingly feeds me bite after bite of food until, between the two of us, we clean the plate. For once, my heart is just as full as my stomach.

  “Thank you for breakfast.”

  “Thank you for being here. What do you want to do now?”

  “I’m not sure. What do you normally do on your days off?”

  “Read industry news. Check the competition. Surf. You?”

  “Read industry news. Check the competition. Yoga. ” I laugh.

  “Naked yoga? Because I could be down with that.”

  “Always naked.”

  “Hmm, I could watch you Downward Dog all day.”