Chasing Desire

by Jennifer Domenico

  “That sounds so dirty when you say it.”

  “Trust me, it’s dirty when I think it, too.”

  I laugh again, throwing my head back. Brayden leans forward and kisses my neck. Before long, our mouths meet again and we become one heated, kissing mass.

  “We need to shower,” I whisper.

  “Yeah, let’s do that. Then I’m going to make love to you again.”

  “Perfect.” I look down at his silent phone on the coffee table. “Babe, do you think you should check your phone? It’s been off a long time and there is a lot going on.”

  Brayden frowns. “You’re right. I’m the boss now. Sometimes I forget.”

  “Well, the investigator could call, too, and maybe you should check on Stacey.”

  “All good points.”

  Brayden turns on his phone and it goes crazy, buzzing with missed notifications. I plop down on the couch and pull the throw over me. We’re going to be here for a while.

  “My sister is losing her shit,” Brayden says. “Let me call her first.”

  I nod while he dials and chuckle softly as he calms her down and apologizes for not calling sooner. It’s kind of sweet to see Brayden in his role as brother and it makes me wonder about his own upbringing. He’s never mentioned his family, but it couldn’t possibly be any worse than mine. I hear him talk to Stacey and for once, it doesn’t make me feel sick. I know he loves me and not her. He loves me!

  Finally, he sits down and has several conversations with people from the office. As he talks, he massages my feet. He is the most spectacular man I’ve ever met. I knew the moment I laid eyes on him that I had to have him. I just never thought it would be like this. Fucking? Absolutely. In love? Not in a million years.

  He hangs up and smiles, leaning back on the couch. “So, we have good news about the building.”

  “Yeah?”

  “When the earthquake happened it did cause a slight shift in the foundation and that is why we couldn’t get the door to the stairwell open. A lot of windows were shattered, too. They did an inspection, though, and they say it’s structurally sound and we can go back in tomorrow. There is a crew there cleaning up today and repairing the windows.”

  “That is good news.”

  “There were a few buildings around us that took some hits so they had to make sure the whole area is okay to return to.”

  “I’ve been in my own little world and didn’t even bother to check how severe the quake was.”

  “We’ve been in our own little world.” He leans in and kisses my nose. “A world I would never leave if I didn’t have to.”

  “Agreed. So hey, I told you all about my horrid upbringing. What about your family?”

  I see Brayden visibly tense in front of me. He runs his hand through his hair and offers me a slight smile. “Are you really interested in it?”

  “I asked, didn’t I?”

  “Yeah, you did.” He exhales deeply. “Well, for as long as I can remember, my mother has been an alcoholic. I think she always was. Somewhere along the way, my father decided to deal with his broken marriage in the arms of other women.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Yeah, me too. It’s really sad. My mom is alienating everyone around her. Ariel and I can barely stand to talk to her and my dad is so full of anger and regret, he hardly speaks anymore.” He squeezes my hand. “There’s more to the story about my clover tattoo.”

  “I’m listening.”

  “I was counting the days until my eighteenth birthday. I woke up that morning and immediately rented a small studio apartment. It was tiny, but there was just enough room for two people who didn’t have much stuff.”

  “Two people?”

  “Me and Ariel. I went home and told my mother I was taking my sister to the beach. Mom didn’t care. She was half passed out on the couch. We took a few bags of clothes and some other important things and left. She never even called to check on us. Ariel was only fourteen.”

  “You took your sister with you?”

  “I did. There was no way I was leaving her alone in that environment. I took Ariel to our favorite park and we ate peanut butter sandwiches under a tree. Ariel looked down and found a four leaf clover buried in the grass. I took it as a sign of our luck and freedom that we got away.”

  Brayden brushes some hair off of my face and smiles as he continues. “I drove us over to my buddy who did tattoos and I got the clover. Ariel got a matching one a few years later. It’s on her shoulder.”

  “How did you manage being an eighteen year old kid taking care of your sister?”

  “I worked my ass off to make sure I could take care of both of us. I bought Ariel a bed and I slept on the couch until we could afford a one bedroom apartment. We just kept moving up from there.”

  “How did you handle college?”

  “I knew I had to go and I knew what I wanted to do. I applied for student loans and worked at night. Ariel finished high school and moved into the dorms on campus. We’ve both worked hard to get to where we are in life now.”

  “I would have never known you had it so rough. Were either of you abused by your parents?”

  “Did they hit us?” I nod. “No, but my dad hit my mother a lot until I turned fifteen. They got into another fight one night and I heard him slap her. When I came into the living room, he had her huddled in a corner, kicking her. I jumped in and beat the shit out of him. He never hit her again after that.”

  “Oh, my god. That’s so awful.”

  “Yeah. I always knew it was gonna come to that. If he hit her after I moved out, I don’t know, but I couldn’t sit there and let him do that in front of Ariel.”

  “I always figured you had a posh childhood. You seem the type that was born into wealth.”

  Brayden laughs. “Not even. I mean, we weren’t poor or anything. My dad does alright. We had stuff, we just didn’t have love.”

  “That matters most.”

  “Yeah, it does.” He leans forward and kisses my cheek. “After my alcoholic neighbor committed suicide, I tried to talk some sense into my mom, but she wasn’t hearing it and just went into the same old ‘woe is me’ angle she always pulls.”

  “I remember you mentioning your neighbor. Did you know her well?”

  “Not really. She was this older lady in her sixties. I called her the cougar. She would stand in the hallway, in her nightgown, swirling her cocktail around and try to get me to come in to her apartment.”

  I laugh at the imagined vision of that. “Did you ever go?”

  “No,” he says, shaking his head and chuckling.

  “You would have rocked her world.”

  “Yeah, but once she got a taste of this,” he grabs his package and laughs, “No way would she leave me alone after that!”

  I laugh. “I love your humility!”

  “That has never been one of my strong suits.”

  “So, what happened to her?”

  “I came home one day and the building manager told me she was dead. She left a note and took a bottle of pills and a bottle of vodka to wash it down.” He shakes his head. “It was so fucking sad, Kenzie. She didn’t have any friends or family looking for her. It makes me think that is how my mom is going to die.”

  “That’s so sad.”

  “Yeah.” He reaches out and brushes his fingers against my cheek. “You know what, though? She is making her own bed. Everyone tries to reason with her and it’s useless.”

  “Did you have any happy times as child?”

  “Sure. Ariel and I had a great time. We had to fend for ourselves so we did what we wanted. I honestly think watching my mom and dad have such a shitty marriage is why I became such a player. Commitment was for pussies, you know?”

  “Yeah, I get that.” I rub his hand. “You and I both avoided relationships because of our parents. We’ve been through some shit.”

  “We have.” Brayden lifts my hand and kisses the back of it. “We really are the exact same person in two diffe
rent bodies.” He laughs softly. “Out of all the people in this world, I’m glad we found each other.”

  “Pretty fucking awesome.” I stretch and yawn. “We should go back to bed.”

  “Mmm, yeah, we definitely should. Shower first?”

  I laugh. “I meant to sleep.”

  “Oh. Right.” He hops off the couch. “Okay, let’s nap, then shower, then more fucking.” A frown suddenly mars his features. “You know when I say that to you, it’s not like casual. It means the world to me every time we touch.”

  “Brayden,” I say, standing and kissing his lips softly. “Don’t stop being you. The man that you are, is exactly who I fell in love with. You don’t have to worry about what I’m thinking or feeling. You can tell me you want to fuck me and I know the emotion behind it. In fact, it turns me on when you say that.”

  “Ooh, well then, I definitely want to fuck you. Constantly. Every fucking minute I’m awake and probably even when I’m asleep.”

  “I know. I like that about you.”

  “Sleep first. You’re going to need your energy.”

  We walk down the hall, or did we float? I swear my feet haven’t touched the ground since I got here. Climbing into bed, he pulls me close and snuggles against me, spooning. His body is warm around mine, like a comforting blanket on a cool winter day. He moves my hair away from my neck and kisses my shoulder and it’s the most wonderful sensation.

  “Thank you for taking care of me,” I whisper.

  “You take care of me, too.”

  “I love you, Brayden.”

  “I love you, too, Kenzie.”

  “I need a nickname for you.”

  “Shh, go to sleep.”

  I smile as I close my eyes and drift off to a peaceful sleep.

  “Hey, babe.” I hear Brayden’s sexy voice whispering to me. “It’s time to get up.”

  “Nooo,” I whine, pulling the blanket over my head.

  “We have to,” he says, pushing his erection against my ass. I reach behind me and stroke it. I’m not going anywhere.

  “Let’s call in sick.”

  He laughs softly. “You know we can’t do that.”

  “I know.” I part my legs enough so he can enter me again. My breath catches as his length fills me up once more. His hand reaches in front of me and expertly rubs my clit the way he knows I like it. The man’s lovemaking skills are flawless. “Feels so good, babe.”

  “Mmm, so do you. I’m addicted to your pussy. I wish I could find a way to stay inside of you all day.”

  It’s my turn to laugh. “That’s an interesting visual.”

  “It’s sexy. Just like you.”

  He moves behind me, tangling his hands in my hair and pulling my head back just enough so he can kiss my neck. His balance between tenderness and pure aggression is such a turn on for me. I would let this man do anything he wanted and I’m positive I would love it. I don’t mean to, but suddenly I’m overwhelmed by everything that has happened in the last twenty four hours and I start to cry again. I’m happy, relieved, scared, excited- every emotion I can think of right now. I grip his hands and pull him closer to me.

  “Kenzie,” he whispers. “Don’t cry, babe. I’ve got you.”

  I sob even harder when I realize he already knows why I’m crying. He gets me. He accepts me. He loves me.

  Our bodies undulate together in this early morning session of passion. I feel my body respond to his touch and reach yet another climax. I cry out, saying his name over and over again, as tears stream down my face. He turns me over and lies on top of me, kissing my forehead, cheeks, and mouth repeatedly.

  “I love you. Don’t be scared. We can take each day slowly.”

  “I know. Thank you.” I kiss his lips. “I’m okay, just overwhelmed by my feelings for you.”

  “I can relate.” He smiles and it warms my heart. “Shower?”

  “Yes.” I climb out of bed and pad into the bathroom with him. I smile when I see my items sitting on the counter. “When did you do this?”

  “Last night after you fell asleep. I couldn’t sleep right away.”

  “Why?”

  “I wanted to enjoy your presence here. I wanted to see your things all around me. I stared at you for a least an hour, watching your chest rise and fall as you slept. I ran my fingers through your hair and brushed my fingers over your silky skin. I told you, I’m fucking obsessed with you.”

  “That’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me.” I rub his cheek. “And only slightly creepy.”

  Brayden throws his head back in laughter. “Yeah, I’m a sick fucker.”

  “I’m glad I can be your disease.”

  “There is no cure, either. So you’re stuck with me.”

  “I’m good with that.”

  We step in the shower and wash our bodies. Brayden washes my hair for me and it’s possibly the most loving act I’ve ever experienced other than when he fed me yesterday. We get out and dry off and start getting ready.

  “I’ll make us some coffee,” Brayden says.

  “Thanks, babe.”

  I finish blow drying my hair and smile. I feel very comfortable here. Like I’ve found my way home. After applying my makeup, I put on the dress I brought. I’m sliding on my stockings when Brayden comes back in the room. He’s still wearing his sweatpants and nothing else. Damn, this man is fucking hot.

  “Those stockings are so sexy,” he says. “It drives me crazy knowing you’re wearing them.”

  “I like driving you crazy.”

  “Are you wearing panties?” he asks and I start to laugh.

  “Yes.”

  “Can I have them?”

  “You know the drill. If you want them you have to come and get them.”

  “Mmm, I can’t decide if I’d rather do it now or find a way to get you alone at work today.”

  “Well, if you do it now we probably won’t get out of the house on time.”

  “Very true. I’ll have to lay you out again.”

  “If you wait until later, then it will be a surprise.”

  “And you’ll have worn them all day and they will have your scent on them.” He rubs his crotch. “Fuck, I just got hard again.”

  “You make me feel like I’m some kind of sex goddess.”

  “You are.”

  “Get dressed.”

  “I will.” He disappears in his closet and I finish dressing.

  Sliding my feet into my heels, I adjust my dress and fluff my hair. After spritzing myself with perfume, I apply my lipstick and smile. I look like me again. Brayden appears in the doorway of the bathroom, completely dressed and looking like the stud he is.

  “You are impossibly beautiful,” he says.

  “So are you.”

  “We are a very good looking couple.”

  I laugh. “Yeah, we are.” He continues to stare at me. “What?” I ask.

  “I’m just admiring you.”

  “Thank you,” I say and actually feel my cheeks flush a bit.

  “Shall we go, Mackenzie?”

  I tilt my head at him. “Why did you call me that?”

  “I’m taking Mackenzie to work right now. My balls to the wall account executive. I hope later, I get to see Kenzie at home again.”

  “She’ll be here.”

  “All night?”

  “Yes.”

  Brayden pulls me into his arms. “Good.”

  I kiss his lips. “Thank you for everything.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  “What are we going to say if anyone sees us arrive together?” Kenzie asks as we drive.

  “Everyone knows we were trapped in the building. Your car is still at work so I came to pick you up this morning and give you a ride to work.”

  “Good answer.”

  “Thanks.”

  We pull up to the building and except for a little broken glass on the sidewalk it’s hard to tell anything happened. I hear her take a deep breath and I reach over and rub her hand.


  “What’s the matter?” I ask.

  “Nothing. This is just what I do to get my head in the game. I take a deep breath and do a little self-talk.”

  “What do you say to yourself?”

  She grins. “It’s kind of embarrassing, but I guess I can tell you. I’ve told you everything else.”

  “I’m listening.”

  “I tell myself that I’ve got this. I’m the best and no one can tell me I’m not.”

  “It’s true. I imagine it won’t take you long to get promoted. You’ll be Matt’s equal instead of his team member.”

  “Do you think so?”

  “Especially after the way you handled Angelica.” I pull into my parking space. “It’s only a matter of time.”

  “That’s another reason I don’t want to go public. I don’t want anyone to think I got anything because of my relationship with you.”

  “People are going to think that, no matter what. All that matters is that we know that’s not it. We know your numbers and results. You’re a barracuda and instead of being jealous, people should try to learn from you. I fucking dare someone to challenge me on that.”

  “You really have my back, don’t you?”

  “A hundred percent, gorgeous.”

  “Alright,” she says, slapping her fist in her palm. “Let’s do this.”

  “We’re the best and no one can tell us we’re not.”

  “I would kiss you right now if I could.”

  “Later?”

  “Absolutely.”

  I push the elevator button as we both revert to a more professional demeanor. Time for the game face. I escort her to her floor and walk around, touching base with everyone. We spend time discussing the earthquake and all the various things that happened as a result. I see Angelica come in and sit down, avoiding eye contact with me. I can’t help myself and walk over to her.

  “Everything okay, Angelica?”

  “Fine. You?”

  “Yep, I’m good. Were you affected by the quake?”

  “Other than not coming to work yesterday, no.”

  “That’s good.”

  I linger and she looks up and glares at me. “Can I help you with something, Brayden? I have a lot of work to catch up on.”

  “Why are you so hostile?”