“I knew I should have come over there. Put on those dark jeans you bought- the skinny ones.”
“Nat,” I protest.
“Emily, put them on,” she demands.
“Fine.” I go dig them out of my drawer and force them on while holding the phone with my cheek and shoulder. “They’re on,” I say, looking in the mirror on my door. They are way too damn tight.
“Okay, good. Go put on your white tank top and that cute little shirt you got at that stupid cowboy store.”
I can live with that. I pull the tank top out of my drawer and slip it over my thin bra noticing that I can see my nipples clear through it. I quickly go to my closet and pull out the white shirt she’s talking about. I put it on and button it up. “I’m dressed,” I tell her looking in the mirror and thinking I look just fine.
“Now undo the top three buttons.”
“Nat, no.”
“Do it,” she practically screams through the phone.
“Okay, okay.” I undo the specified buttons. “Nat, my boobs are completely hanging out,” I inform her.
“Perfect,” she says. “Leave it that way. Now put on your cowboy boots.”
Again, a decision I can agree with. I go to my closet and pull on my boots. “Okay, all done,” I tell her, my finger hovering over the end button on my cell phone.
“Oh, no,” she warns. “Put your phone on speaker and set it down on your dresser.”
“Seriously, I’m done here.”
“No, you’re not. You’re hair is in a braid, correct?”
“Yes,” I admit.
“Take it out.”
I put my phone on speaker and set it down before undoing my hair. “Braidless.”
“Good. Now brush it out.”
I do what she tells me until my hair is hanging over my shoulders in long waves. “Done.”
“Don’t even think about putting a binder around your wrist.” I look to the binder secured there. “Emily, take it off.”
“Fine,” I say whipping it off my wrist.
“Now find the Euphoria bag that I know is sitting untouched on top of your dresser.”
“Nat, no. He’ll think I’m trying too hard.”
“No, Em, he’ll think you’re taking your first date seriously, which you are.”
“This is seriously exasperating,” I say but dump the bag out onto my dresser.
She guides me through all of the awkward steps until my eyes are lined, my lashes are extended, my cheeks are bright and my lips are glossy.
“Don’t touch a thing. He’ll be there in ten minutes.”
#
“Wow,” Danny says as he meets me halfway between the porch and his truck. “You look amazing.”
“Thanks,” I say nervously, as if I am really on my first date. “You look nice too.” He’s wearing his black combat boots, dark, low slung jeans, and a blue plaid button down that does crazy things to his eyes.
“Did you really want us to pretend tonight? Because, I have to admit, I’m damn excited about taking you out on a date.”
“Yea, let’s pretend we’re on a date. Obviously, we can’t go on a real one; that would be weird.” I smile up at him.
“Got it.” He smiles back at me. “Probably better that my first date is pretend. I don’t think I could handle the pressure otherwise.” He takes my hand and leads me to the passenger side of his truck.
“Okay, we don’t have to take the make-believe that far. Clearly you’ve been on plenty of dates,” I laugh.
He helps me up then closes my door. A moment later he’s situated next to me. “You really think I’d go on a date with anyone but you?” He asks with a sexy semi-grin on his face.
“I’ve been gone for more than two years, Danny,” I remind him.
“Exactly. This is clearly my first date, seeing how you’ve been gone for so long.”
“Are you serious?” I ask with disbelief.
“Dead serious. You are the only girl I would ever consider dating but you have been unavailable.”
I can’t help but smile. He waited for me and, inappropriate or not, that makes me unbelievably happy. He reaches for my hand and I willingly give it to him. “Come here,” he says, pulling my hand towards him. I scoot across the large seat until my thigh is touching his. He lets go of my hand and puts his arm around my shoulder. I happily rest my head into the crook of his arm. Pretending feels damn good.
Danny finds Luke’s truck and turns around to back in next to him. Danny and I meet around by the tailgate where Nat is waiting for us. She looks me up and down. “Looking good, girl. I swear,” she says, turning her attention to Danny, “it’s near impossible to get this girl out of her t-shirts and work boots.”
Danny laughs. “I like her in her t-shirts and work boots, I like her work shorts too,” he says in a voice that sends chills through my body. “She looks good with a little mud on her,” he adds, probably because he felt the shiver in my body. Now my cheeks are blushing too.
“You’re right,” Nat says. “But it’s good to see her cleaned up every once in a while.”
Luke appears next to us then, “Hi Emily,” he nods at me before speaking to Danny. “Never thought I’d see the day – you taking a girl out on a date.”
“We’re going to get popcorn, want anything?” Nat interrupts, saving us from an awkward conversation.
“I think I’ll wait,” I say, leaning against Danny’s tailgate.
“Okay, we’ll share if you change your mind,” Nat yells back to us.
“Like hell,” Luke disagrees.
I smile to myself. Nat was right; I feel like I’m a normal teenager on a double date. I look up to say something to Danny but for the life of me I can’t remember what that was. His jaw is set in a tight line, the vein in his neck is pulsing, his shoulders lift and fall with his heavy breaths. When I look at his eyes that are intently focused on nothing I suddenly feel frightened.
He turns toward me and tilts his head so his face is inches from mine. My heart is beating and my breathing intensifies. He makes one small devastating move and his mouth is on mine. Oh God, no… yes… no, crap.
His tongue pushes against mine and my mind goes blank. Nothing matters but the way his tongue wraps around mine. He does amazing things with his tongue- licking, sucking… all while moving nothing but his glorious mouth. He is still and quiet and I try to do the same. It’s incredibly difficult because I want my hands on him, my leg wrapped around him… something to make this burning less intense. I want him wrapped around me. I want to scream.
When the screen in front of us suddenly lights up and we are no longer safely in the dark he pulls away and turns away like it never happened. What the hell was that? Without a word, he walks away from me and goes to the cab of his truck. He comes back with two blankets and a couple of pillows. My mind immediately pictures him resting against one with his shirt off, his hands behind his head, that sexy, lazy grin on his face. I turn away and focus on the screen.
“You ready?” he asks. I look back and see a blanket spread out and the pillows resting against the outside of the cab – a good three feet apart.
“Yep,” I tell him, hopping up onto the tailgate before scooting across the truck bed. He hurdles himself over the side and is leaning comfortably against a pillow by the time I finally make it to my own. I curl my legs up and start running my fingers through my hair. I stare at the screen wishing I would have had Nat get me some candy so I could have something to occupy my hands and mouth. I can feel Danny staring at me but I don’t chance a look at him. I feel nervous.
“Em,” he finally whispers.
“Yea,” I say, turning my head to look at him.
“Why are you sitting so far away from me?” he asks, still whispering.
“I don’t know,” I whisper back. “This is where you put my pillow.”
He laughs, then grabs a hold of my pillow and yanks it, and me, over to his side. “I didn’t think we’d need two pillows,” he says u
nder his breath and my insides light up. He puts his arm around my back then grabs the other blanket and tosses it over us. I snuggle into his side enjoying the way his chest feels under my hand. I can hear his heart beating and smell his clean skin. He laces his fingers through mine and I look at them tangled together. His hand is so much bigger than mine but they seem to fit together perfectly.
“This is nice.” His deep voice sends shivers through my body.
“Um-hmm.” I close my eyes and wrap my leg around his.
“Em…how far are we taking the pretending tonight?” He releases my fingers and brings his hand to my thigh.
“I think we’re just supposed to hold each other… I’m not sure.”
“I think people do more than that on first dates.” He slides his fingers under my tank top and my entire body wants what my stomach has.
“How would you know?” I murmur feeling drunk from his touch.
“Because, Em, I don’t want to just hold you.”
Going with it, I find the bottom of his shirt and slip my fingers up his hard, smooth, perfect stomach. God, I’ve wanted to feel his skin for so long. It feels better than I imagined; he’s hot and I can feel every one of his glorious muscles. I wander up to his chest because I’m sure I won’t have a second fake date.
Danny lets out a low laugh, “Oh yea?” he asks my wandering hand then slowly begins to move his up my stomach. I should tell him to stop but I’m not going to. His fingers spread out around my breast and I realize it’s heaving… it is really possible to have heaving breasts. My nails unintentionally dig into his chest as he pushes his thumb under my bra and over my nipple. My body burns. “You like that?”
“Yea,” I manage to breathe.
“I like it to.”
I’ve never had my nipples touched, obviously, but it doesn’t feel like I would have imagined. There seems to be a direct line between it and the burning pain between my legs. I push myself into his thigh and hold tight to his flesh. This is torture and I can’t take it anymore so I turn my body from his hand and reach my lips up to his. Taking his bottom lip in my teeth, I bite down before sucking. He runs his tongue across my lip and I let go so I can taste his tongue on mine. “This is fun.”
“So fun,” he agrees.
#
“When are you gonna let me take you out again?” Danny asks as we sit in the dark cab of his truck in front of Grandma and Grandpa’s.
I’m still caught up in the magical make-believe world of being Danny’s girlfriend so I say, “I think standard dating protocol is a week.”
“No.”
“No?”
“Yea, no- not a week. I was thinking more like tomorrow night.”
“Sorry, I have plans with the girls.” Which is true.
“Cancel them,” he says onto my lips before kissing them.
I kiss him back for a good, long while. “It’s not that easy,” I finally tell him. “You have to wait, that’s how this works.”
“You’ll have more fun with me. I promise.” His lips have moved to my neck and I almost cave.
“I don’t know… I have a lot of fun with them.”
“Bullshit,” he says taking his lips off my neck. “I’ll let you blow me off for one night but that’s it.”
“You’ll let me? I don’t know how I feel about that.” I tease.
“You know you own me,” he says, leaning back against the seat.
“You own me too.”
Emily
I feel my phone buzz and I take it out of my pocket, trying to pretend like I’m not. Are you having fun with the girls? If not, I’m home and alone and bored. I smile at my phone like I always do when he sends me a message
Poor baby. I feel really bad. Call Luke… he’s been texting Nat. Boys are so pathetic. I hit send then worry that he won’t find my message amusing.
Really? Pathetic? Fine, I’ll find something else to do. But seriously, come over when you get home.
Okay. I tell him, wanting to say more but the girls are giving me shit so I put my phone back in my pocket and try to focus on them.
“You light up every time that boy sends you a message,” Nat says, smiling at me.
“Like you’re any better,” Jessa accuses, and she’s right, Nat’s almost as sickening as I am.
Nat sticks her tongue out at Jessa before changing the subject. “So, my parents are going out of town next weekend and they told me I could have a few friends over,” she announces while bouncing in her chair.
“Oh my God, are you serious? I didn’t think they’d ever leave you alone after that last party you threw, and you’re going to do it again?”
“Don’t worry, Jess. It’s going to be small this time- you guys, Luke, Danny and whatever guy is lucky enough to be your date,” she says, arching her eyebrows at Jessa. “A few other friends, nothing out of hand.”
“That’s what you said last time.” Jessa smirks at her.
“I’m pretty sure it was your big mouth that spread the word through the entire school.”
“Please,” Jessa says innocently but is suddenly focused on drinking her Coke.
“Anyway, we have to start planning, we only have ten days.”
I laugh. “That sounds fun,” I tell her and, unlike, the other party I went to this summer, I really am excited about this one.
Jessa’s attention is focused on the entrance of the bar and I see her nudge Nat in the side. Nat follows Jessa’s gaze to whatever is happening behind me. “What?” I ask, looking over my shoulder. Three women are walking towards us and I don’t understand what the big deal is besides the fact that they are all falling out of their clothes and every male in the place is falling out of their seats looking at them. I turn back to the girls who are smiling uncomfortably at me. “Who are they?” I ask.
“Who are who?” Nat asks innocently and I know something’s up.
“The half-naked women.”
“Just some sluts that graduated a few years ago,” Jessa says. “Can you believe they go out in public looking like prostitutes?”
I shrug my shoulders, I’ve seen worse. The women take a seat at the table next to ours and I can tell that Jessa and Nat are both trying hard to pretend like they aren’t there. I don’t get what the big deal is.
“So anyway, back to my party.”
“What exactly do we need to do for ten whole days to get ready?” I ask.
“We’ll have to decide who we want there, what we’re going to wear, how we can avoid having the neighbors, especially Jessa’s parents, find out and figure out how we are going to get alcohol… that’s pretty much it I guess.”
I’m about to ask about the invite list when I hear Danny’s name come out of one of our neighbor’s mouths. I freeze and notice Jessa and Nat have done the same.
“It’s been a few days since I’ve seen him but I’ve been busy, if you know what I mean,” the girl with the long, blonde hair says, laughing at her own comment.
“So…,” Nat says loudly.
“Shut up,” I practically yell at her.
“Oh my God,” the brunette says, “like you don’t run to him every time he calls you to go to his sweet little cabin.”
My eyes widen and my body goes tense. I hear Nat taking a long, deep breath from across the table and I know right then- they are definitely talking about my Danny. I look closely at the women now. Jessa said they graduated a few years ago, I can’t imagine that. They all look like they’re twenty five, the blonde epically. She’s definitely got way too much makeup plastered on her face but I can tell that she’s pretty. Her eyes are a nice shade of brown and her bright red lips are puffy in that sexy sort of way. Her hair, like her makeup, is overdone but it’s long and thick and styled in a way that I could never pull off. Her breasts are hanging out of her top… actually, now that I look at it, I’m not even sure it’s a top; there are wires running under the satiny fabric, cinching in her body. I wouldn’t even know where to buy something like that, I definitely wo
uldn’t have the balls to wear it in public and, although, she looks slutty she also looks comfortable and confident. She’s the type of girl that would know what to do with a body like Danny’s. She clearly has a lot of experience and that might not always be a bad thing. I feel sick thinking about her with him. She can give him what he wants, that’s for damn sure.
“My God, that is not true,” the blonde says. “If it were I would be there five times a day.”
My stomach sinks and I think I may actually puke.
“Emily,” Nat says sternly while shaking my arm. I look at her and I want to cry.
“Let’s go,” Jessa says, pulling me up by my other arm. I let her lift me up and I’m grateful for her support as I try to make it to the front door. I manage to get all the way to the parking lot before throwing up all over the concrete.
Jessa goes to the car to get a towel while Nat hold my hair and repeats the words, “Oh, sweetie,” over and over again. She feels sorry for me- I don’t know if it’s because I just puked my guts out or because I had to hear some woman talk about how she’s sleeping with the person that I love.
Jessa drives us to Nat’s house and I head directly to the bathroom that’s attached to her massive bedroom. Nat helps me out of my clothes and into the shower. As I clean the smell of puke out of my hair, I keep replaying the woman’s words over and over in my head- If it were I’d be there five times a day- I can’t even process what that means. I’m not even sure how I feel about it; I just keep hearing the words. The water shuts off and Nat is standing outside the, now open, shower door with a big towel in her hands. She starts to dry me off and I let her because I’m pretty sure I’m too numb to do it myself. After she helps me into a pair of sweats and a t-shirt she leads me back into the bedroom and straight to her bed where Jessa waits with a big mug of tea. I lay down, shaking my head, no, to the drink. The girls lay on either side of me and we just sit there like that for a while.
“You know that girl was lying, don’t you, Em?” Nat finally says.
I don’t answer because I don’t know if she was lying.
Love Is Relative Page 10
