Love Is Relative

by Francis, Haven

“Danny, don’t be stupid.”

  “I’m not being stupid. She loved you. She loved me. She would want me to be happy and she would know that you are the only thing in this world that could make me happy.”

  “Of course she would want you to be happy Danny but not if it meant I was your half-sister. She would want us to be soul mates… of the best friend variety,”

  “Em, that’s not true.”

  She looks at me for a few seconds, thinking about her next words. “Did you know that she wrote me a letter after I left and gave it to Grandma and Grandpa to give to me?” she asks, genuinely curious.

  I’m not surprised. My mom would want Emily to know that she wasn’t mad, that she loved her. “No, I didn’t.”

  “Grandpa gave it to me after I got home. It was the reason I had the courage to come see you that first time. It was that letter that convinced me that you might not hate me, that you might need me.”

  My heart hurts thinking about my mom; thinking that she was the one who brought Emily to me. “And I kicked you out,” I say with regret.

  “She told me you might push me away.”

  I laugh at that. I guess my mom knew me better than I knew myself. “Can I see the letter sometime?” I ask.

  “Of course you can, but I’ve read that letter a hundred times and there’s nothing in there that suggests she would be okay with us being together if we are, in fact, related.”

  “We'll see,” I say trying to focus through the thoughts of my mom. “Tell me what you want to do, Em. We can get things moving on the paternity test or we can put it off some more. If you are really prepared to let us go if it turns out Mike’s your dad then I would prefer we wait a while because I sure as hell am not ready to be let go of.”

  “Danny, we have to find out,” she says as more tears fall from her eyes. “You never know, it could turn out he’s not my dad and then think of the possibilities. We could do whatever we want.” I watch as she becomes visibly distracted by her thoughts. Her thumb begins to move across my hand in a way that shouldn’t turn me on but I know what she’s thinking so it does. She closes her eyes tightly and stops pushing her thumb against my flesh.

  “That’s fine, Emily. We can try to get the test done but I’m not going to stop what’s happening between us. I’m not going to pretend like I don’t want you every second of the day. And no matter what happens I’m never going to stop fighting for you.”

  “I can’t live without you Danny,” she says, closing the distance between us and climbing onto my lap.

  Emily

  “Grandpa, can I ask you something?”

  “You can ask me anything, Emmie, you know that.”

  “The summer before Mom took me away I was only fifteen but I was a woman, for all practical purposes.” Oh my God, I sound like an idiot. I hadn’t meant to talk about puberty, or periods, or boobs with Grandpa. “Anyway, Danny and I started to have feelings for each other. I had my first kiss two days before mom took me away.”

  Grandpa smiles at me. “I believe Danny mentioned something about that.”

  “What?” I ask incredulously. “I don’t even get to tell you about my first kiss, for crying out loud?”

  Grandpa laughs. “You can yell at him about it later. I believe you had a question.”

  “Well, I haven’t had a boyfriend or anything since then. Sometimes I feel like I still have feelings for him. I’m pretty sure I love him more than you are supposed to love your friend. Do you think that’s wrong?” I take a deep breath happy to have that off my chest. Since I left Danny yesterday afternoon all I can think about is the fact that he wants to be with me – relative or not. I want, more than anything, for that to be acceptable but I don’t think it is. I need to know what Grandpas thinks.

  “Well Emmie, I think that’s natural. You can’t change the way you feel simply because someone says you have to. Until you know what Danny is to you I believe it would be wrong to act on those feelings. Young love is a powerful thing. It’s very emotional, extremely physical but rarely practical. You have to have a strong will to listen to your mind and not your body. I’m not blind my dear, I know that the two of you are in love. I am not in a position to judge you, only God can do that. No matter who your father is you and Danny have a past to clean up together before you can move forward.”

  “Our past isn’t really that complicated, Grandpa. I was gone for all the difficult stuff. I know he did a lot of bad things while I was gone, but he doesn’t do them anymore. I think Danny and I will be fine once we find out if Mike’s my father.”

  “Are the two of you prepared to find out you are brother and sister if that’s what the truth turns out to be?” he asks.

  “I don’t know... I mean no, I’m not. But we can’t keep guessing. We have to know.”

  “I understand and I’m willing to do what I can to help you with that. All I’m saying is that it’s best to deal with current problems before adding more to them. The news, good or bad, has the potential to bring you closer or push you away from each other. “

  “Well I guess now’s about as good a time as ever,” I say as I watch Danny come up the path.

  Grandpa follows my stare. “I just don’t want either of you to get hurt,” he says.

  I watch Danny walking towards us. Just looking at him makes me squirm. I don’t want to hurt him and I don’t want to get hurt and I know the only thing that could hurt us would be if we were apart. He smiles at me as he approaches and I feel myself blushing. “Cliff,” he says extending his hand to Grandpa.

  “How are you, Danny?” Grandpa asks.

  “Pretty good, now that Emily’s speaking to me again.” My heart contracts but he glances my way and smiles and it eases the pain. “Sorry for keeping her away all of yesterday,” he tells grandpa sincerely.

  “She’s a grown girl; Emily can make her own decisions. Grandma and I managed to do alright without her.” Danny just nods at him. “Well Emmie,” Grandpa says turning to me, “I think all the works about done. I’m gonna go on in and get myself some lemonade. See you for lunch?” He asks.

  “Yep,” I tell him.

  “You come too if you’re still here,” he says to Danny before walking back to the house.

  Danny moves against the fence to stand by me. “Looked like the two of you were having a serious talk when I showed up,” he says.

  “He’s the hardest part in all of this. I can’t hurt him.”

  “I know what you mean. If it wasn’t for him, being immoral would be so easy.”

  “We are aren’t we… immoral.”

  “If that’s what this is than I can live with it. Nothing about you feels wrong to me.”

  “Grandpa said young love is not practical.”

  “He’s talking about a crush; he’s not talking about us. Our love is not young.”

  “It might still be impractical though.”

  “Don’t think too much, Em. Lets go swimming.”

  “Yea, okay,” I tell him. I haven’t been to the river for a couple of weeks. I’ve missed it. “I’ll go get my suit on and meet you down there.”

  “Or we could just go skinny dipping.”

  I laugh, but as I look at him it’s clear he’s not joking. “You are not serious… in the broad day light?”

  “No one will see us,” he says with that damn sexy grin on his face.

  “No,” I say before I even have a chance to entertain the idea. “I’m going to put my suit on. I’ll meet you there.”

  #

  As I walk around the back of the house I see Danny waiting for me. He’s in his swim trunks, thank God, but he’s shirtless and his trunks are low enough that I can see the beautiful indents of his pelvic bone and I can picture where they lead. I remember the way he cleaned himself yesterday and I have to look away and focus on my breathing.

  “You okay?” He asks as I finally make it to his side.

  I put my hands on my hips and raise by eyebrows at him. “Just having a flashback,” I say
, sounding exasperated.

  He laughs. “I’m sorry that I’m so damn sexy.” He slings an arm around me and leads me to the river.

  “It wasn’t really a huge problem until yesterday,” I tell him.

  “Yesterday was epic… life changing.” He laughs easily but I can’t join him. The changes that happened in me are going to make my life difficult, if not impossible.

  When we get to the water’s edge he drops his towel and does a cannonball into the water. “You coming?” he asks as I stand there motionless, watching him.

  I step out of my flip flops and I notice that he becomes still in the water. He’s watching me, waiting for me to take my clothes off. There is a pleasant tingling between my legs. I like that he’s watching me. I unbutton my jean shorts then pull down the zipper. His mouth forms a lazy grin. I pull my shorts open then slowly push them over my hips before bending over and pulling out one leg at a time. I stand and drop the shorts to the ground. “You’re killing me, Em,” he shouts from the water. I smile knowingly at him before crossing my arms over my body and grabbing a hold of the bottom of my tank top. I pull it up a little at a time then stop when it’s under my breast. I can feel his eyes on my stomach and it sends a shiver through my body. When I have the shirt over my breast I watch his eyes as he stares at my flesh. His nostrils flare and his eyes darken. He starts to swim closer to shore. I pull the tank top over my head and drop it on the ground, not able to stay away from him for any longer. “Emily, please come here now or I’m going to come get you.” He is dead serious so I walk to him but instead of jumping in like I usually do, I sit down on the bank of the river and let my feet fall into the water. He’s still a good five feet away; he’s letting me do my thing which I have to admit I’m enjoying. I slowly turn my body until my back is to him and my legs are in the water. I hold myself up so he can look at me before turning my head and giving him my sweetest smile. “You’ve got about two seconds,” he tells me and I know he’s not joking so I lower myself into the water before he can pull me in. Before I have myself turned around he’s got his arms wrapped around my waist and his mouth on the side of my neck. “What are you trying to do to me?” he murmurs into my ear.

  “I thought you liked looking at me,” I tell him, my breathing already unsteady.

  “You have no idea,” he says turning me around and covering my lips with his. He wraps my legs around his hips and I can feel his hardness. I automatically cinch my legs and push into him. His hands find my butt and he helps me get as close to him as I can. I start riding him, trying desperately to heighten the friction. God I want this swimsuit off. I want to feel his flesh on mine so badly. I cry out into his mouth. He moves forward until I can feel my body pressed up to the slippery bank. His hands grab onto my inner thighs, pressing my legs against the wall, spreading me wide open. The cold water passes under my bottoms and over my burning and I let out a pained moan, wanting to scream buy trying to stay quiet.

  Danny’s eyes focus in on mine. “What feels good, baby?” he asks. I shake my head, unwilling to admit that water can practically put me over the edge when I’m with him. He pushes my thighs into the bank again, opening me up again, creating motion in the water, putting the slightest pressure against my overly sensitive insides. I bite down hard on my lip and close my eyes, trying desperately not to scream. He does it again and a small, desperate moan makes it past my lips. “I’m not even touching you,” he says, confused. “Is it the water?”

  “Yes,” I whisper, needing release.

  “Holy shit.” He moves closer to me, pinning my thighs against the wall with his. With his, now free hands, he runs his fingers under both sides of my bikini bottoms. My skin feels ridiculously sensitive to his touch. I try to push myself to him but he holds me in place with his legs. He pulls my bottoms away from my flesh and I feel a rush of water run over me and it feels so damn good. “Ahhh,” I moan. He pulls the fabric tight against me and I want it off. I stare at him like I’m going to rip his hands off if he doesn’t rip my damn bottoms off. He gives me a half grin and lets out forced breath. He pulls the fabric away and it feels so damn good.

  “Please, Danny,” I cry. He moves my bikini, watching me closely. I don’t even know what I’m feeling anymore- the water, the fabric of my bikini- everything feels so insanely good. I’m almost there, it’s painful as I reach my peak but still have no release. “Please,” I tell him again. He pulls up on my bottoms until they are just a thin line of fabric between my skin, “Oh God,” I say because it’s coming. He reaches his other hand under the water to my back and pulls the fabric down, I cry out. He pulls back up. “Ahhh,” I yell. He moves faster and harder until I finally fall apart, until the pain finally escapes. I lay my head back and try to catch my breath. His fingers are on me again as he puts my bikini bottom back into place and the spot between my legs starts to pound. I press my thighs together trying to get it to go away. I catch his hand between my leg and he presses into me, seeming to understand that my orgasm is still lingering. He moves his palm back and forth until my body releases the last of my tension into his hand. When it’s finally gone I release his hand and pull myself into his chest.

  “Something’s wrong with me.” I bury my head into his chest with embarrassment.

  “There’s nothing wrong with you, baby,” he says, holding me close to him. “You like having orgasms and luckily for you you’re sensitive. You come easily,” he whispers. I bite down on his skin, partly from embarrassment and partly from desire. “Ah,” he laughs. “You're like a greedy little animal.”

  “I am greedy,” I tell him. “Now that I know what you can do to me I can’t look at you without wanting it.”

  “I’m pretty sure you don’t even need me,” he jokes.

  I lift my head to look in his eyes. “I don’t feel anything unless I’m with you. I wouldn’t be able to… come without you.”

  He leans down and kisses my lips before lifting my body out of the water and setting me on the river bank so that only the bottom of my legs remain in the water. “That’s good,” he tells me. The intensity in his eyes has me feeling uncomfortable. “But you’re still going to leave me if it turns out that Mike’s your dad?” He asks through heavily lidded eyes. His fingers press into my thighs as he runs his hands over my wet legs.

  No, I think; there is no way in hell I could ever leave this boy. I nod my head at him, I can’t say the words. “What can I do to change your mind?” He asks running his large thumb over the crotch of my swimsuit. I know I should stop him, I should tell him no but the burning is too intense. His touch feels too good.

  “Nothing,” I try to whisper but it comes out too long, too breathy.

  “Really?” He asks, slipping both of his thumbs under my suit.

  “Jesus,” I breathe. His flesh on mine is more than I can take. This feels so much better than anything else. He lets his thumbs run over my sensitive flesh and I feel like I’m going to pass out. I let my head fall back and I absorb every move he makes. I breathe deeply and heavily but I don’t feel the need to scream this time; this is something that I don’t want to end.

  “I think I make you feel good,” he says, his mouth hovering over my neck now. “Do I make you feel good?”

  “Yes,” I breathe. “You make me feel so good,” I whisper.

  His thumbs push further into me and I feel myself tightening around him. ”Ahhh, Danny,” I moan but not from pain, from pleasure.

  “You like having me inside of you, don’t you, Em?”

  “Yes.” I lean back on my elbows, feeling like I might pass out.

  He keeps his thumbs inside of me and uses his fingers to urge my thighs back. I willingly take my feet out of the water and press them into the soft earth. As I do, I can feel my flesh open up to him and his thumbs press down harder. “Oh, my…” I breathe.

  “You’re so willing,” he whispers and I ache even more. “You want me.”

  “Yes,” I tell him.

  “You want only me,” he
says.

  “God, Danny… yes,” I moan.

  He lets his thumbs sink into me as his others fingerers slip into my bottoms and rub me. “You’re mine, Emily,” he says as I stat to come undone. I open my legs to his touch and let him bring me over the edge. “You’re mine,” he says again.

  “I’m yours,” I pant, as the heat of his hands spreads through my whole body and pulls me under. My body falls to the ground and I suck in air. He hovers over me and his face is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I reach up and pull it down to me pushing his lips open with mine and finding his wet tongue. He kisses me hard, desperately.

  When he pulls away, there is a kind of need in his eyes. “Emily, I’m not fucking around. Do you understand that? You’re mine. No matter what- you are mine.”

  “Yes,” I tell him, because there is no other option.

  Danny

  “I told Grandpa I’d be home for lunch,” she tells me.

  “Let’s go then.” I stand before helping her up.

  “Are you coming?” she asks timidly.

  “Of course I’m coming, your Grandpa invited me.”

  She smiles at me then stands on her tip toes to kiss my cheek. “Thank you.”

  “If I knew it made you so happy I would have come a long time ago.”

  “It does make me happy,” she says stepping into her shorts. Her tank top’s already covering her beautiful breasts. She slips her shoes on then grabs hold of my outstretched hand.

  “You changed your mind?” I ask her for the second time.

  She looks up at me through her long lashes. “No… I’m still yours,” she tells me. “Every time I think I can’t love you more you do something else to me. I know I’m crazy, I know what we’re doing is crazy but I’m not so sure it matters anymore.”

  “Today in the water- that was nothing. I can make you feel so much better than that,” I tell her because it’s true.

  “Danny, no. I can’t let you do that again,” she says, blushing and turning her attention to the path we’re walking.