Love Is Relative

by Francis, Haven

  “Try it on, please,” she says, reaching out and touching the soft sleeve.

  “Okay, I will for you, but I’m sure it doesn’t fit anymore.”

  “It will look pretty with your skirt.”

  “Bring your brother out in the hall and I’ll try it on for you.”

  “Come on, Danny,” she says, pulling him out of my room.

  I hold up the skirt wondering what the hell I agreed to. At least it’s not atrociously short like Nat’s. I take off my robe and pull it on. I hold up the sweater knowing it will be too tight but I’ll let Maddie see it before changing into something else. I put my bra on then slip the sweater over my head. It is so soft, it feels good against my bare skin. But I feel it stretch across my breasts and I know it’s too damn tight.

  “Are you dressed?” Maddie’s impatient voice ask from the hallway.

  “Yes,” I say reluctantly, as she opens the door.

  “Wow, you look really pretty.”

  “Thanks, sweetie but I think it’s a little tight.”

  “It’s perfect,” Danny says from the doorway and I feel myself blushing. I look down again at my very visible chest. “Seriously Em, you look beautiful.” He assures me.

  I smile at him. “And you’ll find a way to keep me warm if I get too cold?” I tease.

  “I’ll keep you warm. You’ll be burning from the inside,” he murmurs, causing my insides to ache. I cross my legs to try to get rid of the pressure. Holy shit, I don’t have any damn underwear on. I can feel my eyes go big at the realization. This is why I don’t wear skirts. What if I hadn’t realized and gone and exposed my privates to the world?

  “What’s wrong?” Danny asks, coming to me and putting his hands on my waist.

  “Nothing,” I tell him. “I’m just going to dry my hair quick and then I’ll meet you down stairs.”

  “You sure you’re okay.”

  “Yep,” I say tightly, needing him to take his concerned eyes and his hands off me. I turn my gaze to Maddie who’s watching us intently.

  “Okay,” he whispers. “Let’s let Emily get ready,” he tells Maddie before walking her out the door.

  I run to my dresser and snatch out a pair of underwear, quickly putting them on.

  Once my hair is dry I decide to put on a little mascara and some lip gloss. I try not to look at my outfit. I pull on my cowboy boots and head down the stairs.

  In the kitchen, the kids are playing Yahtzee with Grandma and Grandpa. Danny’s standing over Maddie’s shoulder helping her decide if she should go for her threes or fives. “You ready?” I ask.

  He lifts his eyes and smiles before bending down to kiss Maddie on the head. “You listen to Cliff and Lucille, you hear me?”

  “Yes, Danny,” she says, clearly annoyed.

  “Don’t stay up past nine and no sugar after eight. You too, Jason.” Jason nods at him. Grandma’s eyebrows knit together and I know she’ll keep them up eating cookies until at least ten. “Thanks for having them,” he says to my grandparents, “I really appreciate it.”

  “You don’t need to thank us but you can apologize for not letting them come more often.” She smiles at him. Danny nods his head then comes to me. “You two have a good time,” Grandma says as we head out the door.

  “Will do. Love you guys,” I yell back then step out into the warm night.

  “What was wrong with you in your bedroom?” Danny asks as he drives us to the party.

  “I told you- nothing,” I say but my hand twitches under his hold.

  “You sure?” he questions.

  “Yes, it was nothing. I had just realized that the stress of dressing in a skirt had made me forget to put my panties on first,” I say, shaking my head at my own stupidity.

  He turns his head to me and gives me a wicked smile. “No panties?” he asks.

  “Well not now… I mean, I have panties on now… obviously.”

  “That’s too bad,” he says turning his attention back to the road.

  I want to comment but I keep my mouth shut, not wanting this conversation to carry on longer than it needs to.

  We park on the dirt road next to the lake amongst the dozen or so vehicles that are already here. Danny pulls me across the seat to get out on his side but stops me before my feet touch the ground. He leans down and gives me a slow, deep kiss, pulling me forward until his legs are between my knees. His large hands move up the back of my sweater and my fingers fist his hair. He wraps his fingers around my waist and his thumbs make slow circles on my stomach. What is he doing? He knows I can’t handle this and someone could show up at any second. I pull away from him and stare at his eyes, waiting for my breathing to slow down so I can speak. His eyes look needy and his wet mouth is slightly open. I close my eyes so I can’t see his. “Sorry, I didn’t mean for that to happen. I haven’t felt you since last night and it’s about all I’ve thought about since I got to your house. I shouldn’t have touched you.” He takes his hands off me then and steps backwards so our legs are no longer touching.

  “Just give me a minute,” I tell him, trying to calm my body. I think about Nat and Jessa and that helps. I need to get to people. I can’t be alone with him. I open my eyes and stand, feeling a little dizzy. Danny reaches around me and shuts the door then grabs my hand and leads me to the party.

  “Emily,” Nat screams as we approach. She gets up and runs to me with Jessa right behind her. I let go of Danny’s hand and go to them. “You’re here,” Nat says excitedly wrapping her arms around me.

  “I missed you guys.”

  “We missed you too,” Jessa says before looking down at my body. “You’re wearing your skirt.”

  “Yea, I am and I don’t want to talk about it. A six year old made me do it.”

  “You look hot,” Nat says as her eyes join Jessa’s.

  “Not compared to the two of you.” They’re both in short shorts and tight shirts. I guess I didn’t have to worry about being cold.

  We make our way to the fire. Danny’s over by the lake shore, already surrounded by a group of guys and a few girls. I want to go to him so those girls know he’s taken but I don’t want to seem crazy so I take a seat between Jessa and Nat on a large log. I have to stretch my legs out in front of me and cross my ankles so no one can see up my skirt. I don’t know how I let Maddie and Danny talk me into this.

  “Where’s Luke?” I ask Natalie.

  “He and Noah went on a beer run,” she informs me.

  “Noah?” I feel my stomach drop. I haven’t talked to him since the night at Nat’s. He still calls or texts me every day, saying he’s sorry and that we need to talk. It’s not hard to ignore but it’s going to be difficult to ignore him if he gets in my face tonight.

  “Are you okay with that?” Nat asks. “I mean, he’s been cool since the party, right? He hasn’t tried to talk to you or see you, right?” I guess I never mentioned the calls or texts to the girls.

  “It’s fine,” I lie.

  “You sure?” Jessa asks.

  “Yea. I just hope he doesn’t do anything to piss Danny off.”

  “I think he learned his lesson,” Jessa laughs.

  I try to laugh along with her but it sounds more like a stutter.

  “Well don’t worry about him. You’re here with your very sexy friend and your two best girls.”

  I look over at Danny. He staring at me and I give him a weak smile letting him know I’m okay. He doesn’t smile back or look away though. I suppose he saw the worry on my face.

  “Is that Dylan?” I ask Jessa, noticing the tall blonde trying to talk to Danny.

  “Yea, it is,” she says, smiling.

  “Did you come here with him?” I ask, wondering if their relationship has become serious yet.

  “Nope, but I’m leaving with him.”

  “How do you have sex with guys and not get attached to them?” I ask, genuinely curious. Jessa’s has an aversion to dating guys but not to having sex with them. She doesn’t sleep around, it’s alway
s the same guy for months at a time, but she won’t date the guy.

  “I’ve tried that a few times and it always ends up being a major turn off. They get all mushy and stupid trying to impress you. Then they get jealous and possessive. Then the sex goes down the drain and you’re left with some boring sap that makes you want to puke every time you have to kiss him, which you have to do because you told him you’d be his girlfriend and you don’t want to be a major bitch.”

  Nat laughs at Jessa’s rant but I don’t understand it. I would give anything to be able to date Danny, to be his girlfriend and to have everyone know. “Don’t listen to her,” Nat says putting a hand on my exposed knee. “That’s not how it will be for you. Jessa is just a cold-hearted bitch who is incapable of falling in love.”

  “Watch it,” Jessa warns Nat in a loving sort of way. She knows Nat’s joking, about the cold hearted bitch thing at least.

  “What’s it like for you and Luke?” I ask wondering if Danny and I are some sort of a normal couple.

  “I love having a boyfriend, always have. I like that he takes care of me and that he gets jealous when other guys look at me. It’s fun getting dressed up and going on dates. I get excited every time he calls and I love staying up late, talking to him on the phone. I love making out under the blanket in the basement. I love hearing him say he loves me.”

  “And what about the sex? Did it go down the drain?”

  Jessa lets out a huff.

  “I haven’t had sex with him yet,” Nat says.

  “Really?”

  “Well, no. I mean we haven’t been dating for very long. I want to make sure I’m totally in love with him before I lose my virginity.”

  “Oh my God, Nat. I had no idea.” I just assumed she’d had sex before. She’s told me about her last two boyfriends, one of which she was with for over a year.

  “Well I may dress like a slut but I’m not one,” she laughs.

  “You don’t dress like a slut.” She always manages to look classy in her tight little clothes.

  “Well I’m glad you think so.”

  “Speak of the devil, the biggest slut in all of River Bluff just arrived,” Jessa says looking towards the road. A fit of jealousy erupts in my body as I look at the girl that Danny kissed in front of me at the bonfire. She already has her eyes on Danny as she and her small gang of friends head toward the group of people that Danny’s encircled in. I look at him; he’s trying to pay attention to what ever Dylan is saying but he’s still staring at me. I watch as the girl approaches him. She sides up to him and he snaps his head in her direction. She puts a hand on his arm and I make a move to go to him but he takes her hand and pushes it away. She says something to him and I see the anger appear in his eyes. He leans into her and says something back and her face drops. I almost feel bad for her. He turns his eyes back to me and I smile. He mouths something at me, I think he says sorry. I just shrug my shoulders. I know there is nothing that girl could do to tempt him, just like I know I could never look at another guy like I look at Danny.

  “When is that girl gonna figure out that he’s not interested,” Nat asks under her breath.

  “You can’t really blame her for trying. It’s not like anyone really knows that Danny and I have some weirdly inappropriate thing going on. Plus, he did kiss her at the B.T.B. party.”

  “Please, he only did that because of you and Noah.”

  “She doesn’t know that.”

  “Maybe you should help her understand,” Jessa says.

  “That’s the shitty thing about being in love with your potential half-brother… It’s not really something you flaunt.”

  “What is going on with all that anyway, I mean you and Danny and the whole father thing?” Nat asks.

  “Our court date is on Tuesday and if the Judge grants Grandpa and Grandma guardianship we can get the paternity test ordered. We haven’t talked to Mike about it yet. I’m anxious to have it all over with. Not knowing doesn’t seem to be changing anything though – I’m more in love with Danny than I’ve ever been.”

  “Well good, I mean about being in love with him. You guys deserve to be in love. You’re perfect together.”

  “You are,” Jessa agrees, staring at Danny. “What in the world are you gonna do if you find out Mike is you dad?” She asks in a horrified tone.

  I can’t tell Jessa the truth so I just say, “I don’t know. It’s really gonna suck.”

  “No kidding,” she sighs. “How are you ever going to get over Danny, fricking, Donovan?”

  “Hopefully I won’t have to,” I say, staring at Danny’s attentive eyes. Another girl approaches and tries to start a conversation with him. He ignores her completely and I smile at him. He gives me an unbelievably sexy smile than throws his head back slightly, asking me to come to him.

  “I think he wants you,” Jessa giggles.

  “I better go then,” I say, standing up. Jessa gives me an encouraging spank on my butt as I walk away. As I pass by the fire I feel a little self conscious being illuminated by the flames. I can feel eyes on me but I’m only looking at Danny’s.

  “Excuse me,” I say to the boy who is standing in my way.

  He moves aside. “Hey, what’s your name, pretty girl?” I ignore him but Danny’s eyes flame as he stares the kid down. That girl is still trying to talk to him and blocking my way. Danny seems to finally notice her as he reaches out an arm and pushes her away from him.

  “Umm, excuse me,” she says to him. He uses his same arm to reach out to me, hooking it around my waist and pulling me into him. I let my hands rest on his stomach, wanting to wrap them around him but feeling self-conscious in the middle of this group.

  “Is that Emily Winters?” I hear the girl ask.

  “Sure as hell is,” a guy responds.

  “Isn’t she like… his sister?”

  I raise my eyebrows at Danny. I knew this was going to happen. It’s not cool with the general population to be intimate with a possible relative. I know Danny can hear the girl but he lowers his head until his lips hover dangerously close to my own.

  “Danny,” I whisper, “everyone is watching us.”

  “Who cares,” he says and then leans into me hard, taking my mouth in his; letting everyone around us know that, yes, there is definitely something going on between the two of us. Oh, Shit. As annoyed as I am, I can’t seem to stop him. I just go ahead and let my tongue get all tangled with his. I want to pull him to me, I want to feel his skin but I can’t do either of those things so I end up digging my nails into the hard flesh of his stomach. He pulls me in closer and I can feel his erection on my stomach. Crap, I have to stop this. I pull away quickly, like I’m ripping off a bandage. I can’t take a chance by lingering in his mouth.

  “Danny,” I scold but it ends up coming out too breathy. I narrow my eyes at him instead.

  “Oh my God,” I hear the girl say under her breath.

  “Sorry, Em but I needed to shut that girl up,” he says loud enough so she can hear. “And I needed to be inside your mouth,” he adds in a deeper, quieter tone making my insides ache.

  “Don’t do that again,” I tell him seriously.

  “What do you want me to do, Em?” he asks as his face hardens with frustration.

  I bring my hand to his face. “I want you to kiss me, Danny. Just not in front of everyone,” I whisper.

  “You really care that much about what they think?” he asks.

  “Danny, stop,” I tell him. “You know what happens to me when you kiss me like that, when I can feel you pressed against me.” The words have me wanting to press up against him hard. I close my eyes and my hand that is still on his stomach grabs on to him as I try to fight off my desires.

  He slings an arm around my waist and turns me around. I open my eyes as we walk out of the crowd. I can hear the murmurs already. We are headed toward Nat and Jessa when Noah’s voice rings out over the crowd. “The beer’s here.”

  I stop in my tracks, tensing up immediately.
“Ignore him, Em,” Danny says, surprisingly calm. He knows that Noah’s still been calling and sending me messages. It pisses him off and I’m shocked that he’s not all over the kid. I let him lead me to a plastic Adirondack chair next to the log the girls are sitting on. He sits down then pulls me onto his lap.

  Nat’s looking at me with wide eyes wondering if I’m okay with Noah being here.

  I give her a tense smile. Danny pulls me closer to him but I’m shifting uncomfortably as I try to find a position where I can be close to him but not expose myself in this damn skirt.

  Jessa notices and lets out an amused sound. “Here,” she says, standing and yanking the blanket out from under Nat.

  “Hey,” Nat says, almost falling on her ass.

  “Sorry, but Em needs this more than you do.” She throws the blanket over my exposed legs and I let out a sigh of relief.

  “Thank you, this damn skirt,” I say, relaxing into Danny’s chest and curling my legs up on his lap. Danny pulls the blanket up over my shoulder and holds me tight. I can feel his chest rising and falling and I know Noah’s presence is pissing him off. I chance a glance Noah’s way and see him staring at me. He smiles but it’s a bitter smile. I quickly look away.

  Luke walks over to us with his hands full of cups of beer. He hands one to Nat then Jess. “You guys made it,” he say’s happily, extending his last two beers our way. Danny takes his but I shake my head. Luke shrugs his shoulders and takes a large swig. I can hear Danny’s throat swallowing and I think he must be downing the entire cup. “What’s got you all worked up?” Luke asks Danny.

  Danny finishes his beer and sets the cup on the ground. “That’s a stupid fucking question,” he practically hisses.

  “What, Noah? Forget about him, he’s harmless.”

  “It’s hard to forget about the asshole when he’s calling and texting Em every damn day.” He tightens his hold on the back of my thighs and pulls me closer to him. I squeeze his arm, silently begging him to let it go.

  “Are you kidding me?” Nat says. I look at her and let out a long sigh. “Why didn’t you tell me that?” she asks.