Walls of Ash

by Amber Newberry

  I walked slowly over to the curtains and I heard whispering. Someone was behind the curtain, and that explained why I felt a presence in the room. A floor board creaked beneath my step and the whispering stopped. They knew that I was there, and even though I was afraid of who might be behind the curtain, I finally opened them to see Charles holding Camilla closely. I realized that this was why James was seen talking to Camilla. He must have known that Charles was having an affair and told Camilla that it had to stop. Since James was not here, he would not know that it continued after that conversation. It also explained why Charles was discovered in the hallway only a few nights before when we heard the noises... it could only have been him coming from Camilla’s room.”

  Now I was truly shocked, and I closed the journal because I needed to soak it all in. If Uncle Charles was sleeping with Camilla, that meant that Fleur was not my half sister, she was my cousin. I fell back onto my bed and stared at the ceiling for a long time. Even though I was not all the way through the journal, I didn’t know if I could read on just then.

  As if she knew that I was thinking of her, at that exact moment Fleur stepped into the room.

  “Oh Miss, I just came to turn down your blankets, shall I leave you?”

  “You are pale, are you feeling ill, Miss? Shall I bring you something to help you sleep?” I told her no and she left.

  Did she know who her father was?

  * * *

  That night I had the dream about the candle again. The old woman crept slowly toward me as I sat frozen on the bed, and her eyes went white. The words echoed in my mind “Two souls, one body. Zwei Seelen, ein Körper.” Her face became Eckhardt’s, his head back laughing at me burning to death. I awoke screaming. Li ran into my room as I started awake, and she stayed with me until I was able to sleep. She commented the next morning that it was such a long time since I had an ‘episode’ as bad as that, and she suggested that if it happened again I might see Dr. Haskins about something to help me rest.

  It was all the things that were happening to me. Julian was rushing me to make a decision. Li was getting married and by spring she would be leaving with Leo for India. I did not know what to expect for my inheritance since Rhineholt was now mostly burned. I had not yet gone to see it, but was informed that it was just big grey stone walls, a marble floor, and nothing else. I pictured the portrait of my mother and father being swallowed by the flames and quickly tried to put the image from my mind.

  There was still the London house and the land where Rhineholt once stood, and I was sure that Charles would have kept the family’s money was well looked after, but I did not know what to expect from the lawyer’s standpoint. I would know soon enough, it was only a few days before the party, and Lord Rhineholt would be bringing Mr. Gould, the lawyer, back with him to explain it all to me.

  Then there was Fleur. I did not pick up the journal again that evening after dinner. It was probably a bad idea to leave myself in the dark like that, but I was so angry with my Uncle for his infidelity to Aunt Emmaline. She was a difficult person to handle, I knew that first hand, but she did not deserve to be treated that way by the man she loved. I remembered then that Charles was the last person to see my mother alive, and I softened toward him a little. He cared deeply for my parents; I could see that from the way my mother wrote about him. I remembered dancing with him the night of his birthday and before I went away to Germany, and he was the one who gave me the small portrait of my mother and father from their honeymoon in Paris. He was the only father I ever knew.

  If he was Fleur’s father, he certainly took great pain to keep her near him, which is why I wondered if she was aware who he was to her. She mourned when the fire took the lives of Aunt Emmaline and Uncle Charles, but I thought that it was because she grew up around many of the servants who also died in the fire. I decided then that if I could be certain her father was my Uncle, I would make sure that she received something from my inheritance.

  The day following my ‘episode' was a long and tedious one that was filled with yet another dress fitting. Mine was for the garden party and then one for Li for her wedding gown. We were only a few days away from the party and the preparations were stacking up. Bernadine was handling most of it, but Celia was taking all the credit, which Li and I found comical.

  After Li’s fitting, we went to the library together hoping to find some peace away from Celia. Leo was there when we arrived, and we collapsed into chairs on either side of him which made him laugh at us.

  “Well, you’ve hardly had to do anything! You try standing for an hour getting poked and prodded by a lady with a needle!” He shook his head as if to say, “No thank you!”

  “You make it sound like a surgical procedure, Li!” I said.

  “It practically is!” she laughed.

  I stood to go and retrieve the book I began before I started reading my mother’s journal. I heard Celia’s voice and turned to see her calling to Li.

  “Liesl, darling! You are needed once more, but I promise this is the last time for today!”

  “A bride’s work is never done...” Li said as she was swept away by Celia.

  I took my book and sat down near Leo, who was reading when we arrived in the room. He looked down at the book he was reading before the interruption, and I flipped to the page in mine that I left off on. I felt his eyes on me, and I finally turned my head to look at him.

  “What?”

  He shrugged his shoulders and looked back at his book. I shook my head and went back to my own. I sighed and looked at him again, he looked back at me.

  “What is it?” I asked, and he shook his head this time when he shrugged. I looked back down at the book in my hands again and his eyes were on me again. I gave him a frustrated look with raised eyebrows.

  “Fine! I’ll tell Julian when he arrives!” I said and slammed the book shut. Leo smiled at me and he finally spoke.

  “Will you really?” he asked.

  I sighed and looked him in the eye again and said, “Yes.”

  “It is what you really want?” he asked, closing the book and leaning forward. I paused to think for a moment.

  “I think it is...” I said and a smile slowly formed on my lips, because I finally knew my answer.

  He shook my hand like two men shake after a game of cards and I laughed at the gesture. When Li came back I told her the news, and she waltzed around the room with me as I had with her beneath the trees when we were at school.

  “You must both promise to say nothing until I have told him myself,” I said and they agreed.

  * * *

  The next morning I sat in the conservatory finishing my breakfast alone. Li had just left me to go and meet Celia for more preparations. This time Leo would not get out of the work so easily as his own wedding clothes needed tailoring. I decided that I would finish my mother’s journal that day, and I went up to get it from my room just in time to see Lord Hilbourne and Julian’s carriage coming up the lane from my window. They must have stayed the night at Creeda’s to be making it home so early in the day.

  I went down to the garden, just in case Julian was not ready to see me after how I treated him only a week before. It was a matter of minutes before I saw him come around the side of the building, and he ran toward me. He picked me up and swung me around in a circle, and I figured that this meant that someone told him my answer. He kissed me when he put me down, and I saw Li and Leo walking toward us, smiling.

  “We were afraid you might get cold feet!” Li called out to me.

  We told Celia and Reginald right away, and they both seemed truly relieved.

  * * *

  That afternoon after lunch, Lord Hilbourne asked that I accompany him and Mr. Gould to the library to discuss my inheritance. I thought to myself, I may never get to the end of my mother’s journal at the rate I’m going. It was beginning to grate on my nerves, but finally succumbing to Julian’s proposal had us deep in conversation about making the announcement the next day at the
garden party and then the wedding itself, of course. I would make sure that I was alone that evening long enough to get to the bottom of Charles’s relationship with Camilla.

  We walked the length of the Elizabethan wing of Hilbourne. Mr. Gould was in the house once, years before, and he asked many questions about when each part was built and which Hilbourne added them on. He was a large, rotund man who smelled of cigars. His clothes were elegant, and he seemed like an amusing old man. Each time Reginald answered a question, his response was, “Jolly good!”

  When we got to the library, Mr. Gould commented on the size of the collection and how impressive it was. Lord Hilbourne was pleased to talk of his books, and they went on for a short time about the room. I remained quiet until they finally satisfied the conversation.

  “Miss Rhineholt....” Mr. Gould began and then cleared his throat and said, “Lady Rhineholt...” It was the first time I heard myself referred to as such, but since my Aunt and Uncle’s death, I supposed it was my proper name. I was the only Lady Rhineholt left, but I would not bear that name for much longer.

  “Your Uncle and I, we knew one another for a long time. I have taken care of your family’s legal work since your Father was alive. They were both good men.” He was silent for a moment, looking down in respect for the dead.

  “Your Uncle, he was a smart man. He planned for almost anything that could possibly befall your family. I saw him only a week before...” He trailed off and I nodded, knowing what he meant. Julian came into the room and sat next to me.

  “Is this appropriate? Julian and I are to be married--” I began. It felt strange to say aloud.

  “Oh, by all means! Congratulations are in order!” He stood, shook Julian’s hand, and gave me a wink.

  “I suppose you will be allowing your husband to tend to most of this business. Mostly unpleasant things to do with the land and all of that nonsense.” Mr. Gould continued when he took his seat again. I trusted Julian, but I did not consider that I might not be able to manage my inheritance on my own.

  “You see, Miss... er... Lady Rhineholt... There are many things to discuss. First, the land that belonged to your family will belong to you, as well as the London House. Then there is the business of the notes and the other various items that Lord Rhineholt was safe keeping in London.” He paused at the end of the list.

  “You see... You are to be a rich woman...”

  “I am aware of that, Mr. Gould... but did I hear you correctly? You said I am to be a rich woman?” I asked, bewildered. Julian looked at me, as did Lord Hilbourne, and it seemed that they knew something that I did not.

  “Lady Rhineholt...” I was agitated that he kept calling me that. “There are some stipulations before you will be able to receive the full of your inheritance. Your Uncle allowed for a small allowance until you reach your thirtieth birthday,” he said.

  “What does that mean?” I asked, and I was worried.

  “It means that you would not be able to pay your staff at the London house or those you have brought here to care for you.” There was a pause. I would lose Bernadine and Fleur? Franny and Torrence would also have to seek new employment if I could not pay their wages at the London house.

  “Is there a mention of anything being left to anyone else? A distant cousin, or...” I trailed off, thinking of Fleur.

  “There is no one else, however, the condition of the inheritance being held until your thirtieth birthday is null as long as you are married. Since it seems that you will be just that by the year’s end, this should solve everything.” He finished with a slap of his hands on his thighs.

  When I looked at Julian and then to Reginald, I saw that they had both been aware of this ‘stipulation,’ as Mr. Gould put it. Was this the agreement all along? There was no male heir to pass the Rhineholt name, land, and money down to. Aunt Emmaline was pushing me toward Eckhardt since the night I met him. Then, when that fell through, she began to push me toward Julian. Had my Aunt and Uncle lived, Julian would’ve eventually inherited all of these things, anyway... if he was my husband. Was this the reason he proposed to me in the first place?

  If it was, then it would make even more sense that he would be so desperate to marry me, now that my Aunt and Uncle were not there to push me into his arms. If I did not, then I would have such a small allowance I would hardly be able to live on my own, let alone pay Bernadine who was practically family, and Fleur who could very well be my cousin. There was no choice but to marry Julian, or I would lose the people who were so loyal to my family and to me in my time of need.

  When we finished our meeting in the library, Julian stayed with me while Reginald offered to give Mr. Gould a tour of the rest of Hilbourne.

  “There, that was not so awful--” Julian began when they were gone, but I halted him. My voice was harsh as I yelled.

  “You knew! You have known all along that this was my position!” I was enraged, and he was astounded at my reaction to the meeting. I stood up, and he tried to grab my hands, but I snatched them away.

  “Admit to me that you knew before you even asked me to marry you!” He breathed out in frustration before he finally spoke.

  “Fine. Yes. We knew, and that may have been why I invested so much time in being with you when you were younger, but Mr. Gould did not read from the actual papers. It says, ‘if there is no male heir.’ Your Aunt and Uncle might still have had a son! Honestly, when we did not speak and you were away in Stuttgart... I had already put the idea of marrying you from my head when Eckhardt appeared.”

  “How could you let me believe that you loved me?” I said and tears welled up in my eyes. I was still so shattered by all the tragedy that surrounded me that I found it difficult to control my emotions.

  “Tam,” he grabbed my shoulders and looked at me head on.

  “I do love you. I swear I do. I wanted you to come to me willingly. It is why I didn’t tell you all of this. Do you think I wanted you to marry me so that you could have your family fortune? Don’t you believe that your Aunt wanted the same for you? For you to fall in love on your own accord, rather than be forced into a marriage of convenience?” He said this as he wiped the tears from my cheeks.

  “I don’t know, anymore...” I said quietly. “How can I trust you?” I was looking up at him, and he seemed genuinely pained by my reaction.

  “You will, I promise that you will trust me again,” he replied.

  I did not say anything. I was still suspicious of his intentions, but what could I do? I would have to marry him for the sake of the people I owed for their loyalty to me and to my family. They were attached to me, and nearly the closest thing I had to a family, now. Fleur possibly was my family. The only blood connection I had left.

  CHAPTER 12

  My feet beat hard against the steps as I scaled them to my room. All this time, I allowed myself to be tricked into falling in love with Julian, victimized because of my naiveté. It became imperative to me that I find out all I could about Fleur and her relationship to me. She was not mentioned in the will, and I felt sure that it was because there was a chance that Aunt Emmaline might have seen it. Uncle Charles protected her even till the end.

  I pulled out the drawer where I kept the journal and to my alarm, it was gone. Fleur, I thought. Without closing the drawer, I dazedly walked over and fell back onto the bed where I stared at the ceiling for a long time. She must have read the journal and stole it as proof that she had a claim to the Rhineholt name.

  There was a knock, and Celia came into the room, and I remembered that she, too, had read the journal. I shot up and grabbed her by the shoulders.

  “Celia! The journal! It has gone missing!” My voice was panic-stricken.

  “You don’t think? Fleur?” she questioned.

  “She was Charles’ daughter, then?” I asked. Celia led me over and we sat down together. She looked distraught.

  “The journal... was not conclusive. I suspected the same as you, that Fleur must have been his daughter.”


  “What did it say? What did it say exactly?” I asked.

  “Annaliese talks about Camilla becoming secretive and then ill. Eventually Camilla resigns as your mother’s maid and goes to stay with a family friend, Creeda. You mother guessed that she might be pregnant, and that the child belonged to your Uncle. Why else would she go and stay at Aven Cottage with a midwife?” she said.

  I gathered my frayed nerves and finally stood. My voice was the strongest it was in a long time.

  “We must find Fleur. I will ring for her and we can talk to her and find out what she knows.”

  Before Celia could protest, I rang the bell, and we waited. When Fleur finally entered the room she was taken aback. Celia looked calm, but I must have looked distraught.

  “Miss? What on earth is going on? You look a fright! Shall I open a window?” Her eyes were wide with concern.

  “Fleur, something extremely important to me has gone missing, and I must find it,” I said and she nodded. The look on her face said she knew that we suspected her of stealing.

  “Shall I help you look, then?” she asked with a wavering voice. Celia jumped in, her tone was stern.

  “You know what we are looking for, don’t you?” Fleur shook her head nervously.

  “No, ma’am. I’m not sure what you mean?” A tear ran down her cheek, she had no idea what we were talking about and I softened toward her.

  “Fleur, come and sit with me,” I said and Celia looked at me questioningly. I led Fleur with my arm in hers to the bed.

  “I couldn’t sit, it is your bed, Miss! It would not be proper.” she sniffled.

  “It’s alright, Fleur.” She obeyed and sat next to me.

  “There was something I kept in my top drawer that has gone missing,” I said calmly, looking directly at Fleur.