A Life That Fits

by Heather Wardell

  Anna and Gary clearly didn't trust me any more. I didn't want to work where I wasn't trusted. "I'll bring you a resume tomorrow."

  She smiled. "I'm sure Dana will want to interview you."

  We moved on, but then I took us back. "You know, it's really nice of you to put my name forward. You don't know how I am at work. What if I end up being insane?"

  "That role's already filled by Dana," she said, smiling. "But I do know some things. You're never late to meet me, and you're always well-dressed and you seem organized, and you're a good speaker and clearly analytical. I don't think I'm risking much by telling Dana you're worth meeting."

  I couldn't help blushing. "Well, thanks. But I don't have as nice jewelry as you do."

  She laughed. "I'll do my best to keep it that way. Did you notice my earrings?"

  I had, and we chatted about where she'd found them and the exotic wood from which they were made until Tina came rushing up to the table. "Andrea! You won't believe this."

  Her rudeness and lack of apology for interrupting annoyed me. "Hold on, Tina. Wendy and I were--"

  "It's okay." Wendy put her coffee mug and the plate from her cookie onto her tray. She and Tina had met a few times but Tina's flamboyant sexiness and Wendy's sleek elegance meant they didn't exactly get along. "I need to get going anyhow. Same time tomorrow, Andrea?"

  Her eyes sparkled with a conspiratorial look, and I knew she was enjoying the fact that Tina didn't know I was considering leaving the group. "You got it. And I'll bring that article you wanted."

  "Fantastic. I'm sure Dana will love it."

  She left and Tina took her chair.

  "What's the big panic? Did the analysis program crash again?"

  She shook her head. "Nothing like that. It's Brent."

  Brent, the blond beauty from the play. "Yeah?"

  "He dumped me."

  "I'm sorry." Sorry for the tragic loss of your barely-a-month-long relationship. How will you ever survive the two weeks until you're over him?

  "It's so stupid, too. I just made one little comment about how his buddy was lame for spending all his time with his dad and the next thing I knew..."

  I tuned her out. She didn't even notice. When we'd first met she'd seemed attentive and interested in talking with me, but now all of her conversations were at me.

  Moving to Wendy's team might be a great change for me.

  *****

  "She said she'd be five minutes," Wendy said for the third time since I'd arrived twenty minutes ago.

  "Don't worry about it," I said yet again, and held up my phone. "I'm catching up on emails. I know she's busy. She'll get to me eventually."

  "Still, she should be on time for an interview. You won't get in trouble at work?"

  I shook my head. "They're both in meetings. And I won't take my full lunch break so I don't feel guilty about sneaking out."

  "Good stuff."

  She went back to her work, and I continued with my emails. Mostly spam to delete, but I had one to write. At least, I would once I decided whether I accepted Ellen the yarn store owner's suggestion.

  When I'd arrived at last night's knit night to find the usual sign replaced with 'knit and crochet night', I'd been surprised and happy, but I'd been shocked when she asked me afterward if I'd consider leading a weekly crochet-only night for her. I'd protested that I hadn't been doing it long enough to help anyone else, but she wanted a social group and a way to keep crocheters interested in her store, and I'd promised to consider it.

  I considered it now, and decided I wanted to do it. The knitters were lovely people but I was getting pressure from a few to learn to knit. I didn't want to since I liked crocheting so much, and a purely crochet night should mean far less of that pressure.

  As I pressed 'send' on my email telling Ellen Wednesday nights worked for me, Wendy's phone rang. She glanced at the call display and twisted her face like she'd eaten something revolting. "Sorry, I'd better..."

  I nodded encouragingly, and she picked up the phone. "Hey, Henry. Yes, I got your email. I'm at work, Henry, I-- No, I can't--I doubt he wants to--Henry, seriously, I--" She sighed. "Okay, fine. I'll ask him. But I doubt he--hello?"

  She set down the phone and muttered something distinctly unladylike under her breath. "Sorry, Andrea. My sister's husband. I can only assume she was under some sort of evil spell when she married him."

  "He doesn't let you get a word out, does he?"

  "And he's even worse to her." She sighed. "He wants me to bring my boyfriend to their house for dinner tomorrow night. But I don't think--"

  "Andrea?"

  I looked up to see a skinny woman, wearing a tight-fitting red pantsuit and a matching scrunchie in her bleached-blonde hair, with an unnaturally orange tan and such obvious breast implants I imagined the serial numbers might be visible when she was naked. "Hi."

  I stood, and so did Wendy. "Dana, this is Andrea. Andrea, my boss Dana."

  We shook hands and Dana said, "Sorry about the delay. Let's chat."

  She let me go ahead of her, and once I'd passed she said, "Nice calves. Do you work out?"

  I looked back, surprised, to see her smiling. I glanced past her to see Wendy trying not to explode with laughter, then returned my attention to Dana. "Thanks, but I don't, actually." I decided not to mention my ongoing bellydance classes. Maybe not good-first-impression material. "But I used to wear high heels a lot, so maybe that's why?"

  "That'll do it," she said, ushering me into her office. She closed the door behind us, and when we were both settled she said, "So. Tell me why you want to work here."

  Because I think Wendy might have understated how crazy you are and I want to experience it for myself? "Wendy says you need an analyst and I think I could be a great help to your team."

  "Sure. That's why we want you. Why do you want us?"

  All the usual platitudes from past job interviews ran through my mind, but I decided to tell her the truth. "I need a change. I've been shaking up my life in a lot of ways recently, but so far I haven't done anything with my career. I've been at DataSource for four years now, and I think I've learned everything I can there. I'd like to have a fresh start."

  She studied me, and I realized that despite the odd appearance and the random comments Dana was a smart woman. Her clear and focused brown eyes told the tale. "Got it. So, tell me what you learned there."

  We talked about my knowledge and training, and my networking and presentation skills, and what I'd be doing in her department, for quite a while. She grilled me on every detail, making me dig deeper than I'd ever done in an interview, and when she said, "Well, I think I've got everything I need to know," I was shocked to realize I'd been there an hour.

  "Thanks so much for meeting with me." I stood and held out my hand.

  She gave me a firm handshake. "You're welcome. Thank you. Now, I have to get to the staff meeting, since all my little darlings are in the conference room awaiting my arrival, but I will get in touch with you later today or tomorrow. Yes?"

  Little darlings? Weird. But cute. "Yes. Thanks again."

  I left, without trying to see Wendy since she'd be in the meeting, and went back to my desk feeling proud of myself. I'd stepped out of my comfort zone in talking to Dana, and if I'd read her at all well it was going to pay off.

  Chapter Nineteen

  "No, we don't need the notice."

  I looked back and forth between them, surprised. "But I should hand off my projects, shouldn't I?"

  Gary shook his head. "We'll take care of it."

  Dana had called me two hours after my interview to offer me the job, and I'd accepted and then told Anna and Gary. I hadn't expected them to bawl their eyes out, but they didn't seem to care at all. I tried again. "I truly don't mind. I told the new job I needed two weeks so I could finish here."

  "Andrea. To be blunt, we are fine." Anna glanced at Gary, who gave a single nod, then went on. "In fact, I'll come with you while you gather your personal items and then I thin
k you should leave."

  Her emphasis on 'personal items', as if she thought I planned to steal files, shocked me. "My new job has nothing to do with anything I did here, so if you think I'm poaching customers, you're wrong."

  Anna got to her feet. "It's time for you to go."

  Bewildered, I followed her down to my conference room office, where I packed up my few possessions under her watchful eye, and then to my original space to check for anything else. Tina was nowhere to be seen, and neither were any of my other coworkers. I tried again to talk to Anna but couldn't get past her cold demeanor.

  Once everything was packed, I turned to her. The urge to just leave, to give up, was huge, but instead I said, "I'm not sure what's going on. But I want you to know that I always did my best work for you and I would never do anything to put the company at risk. I didn't handle my breakup well, and I am sorry for that, but since then I have been fine. Whatever you think I've done or will be doing, I promise you you're wrong."

  Her eyes narrowed, and I saw confusion in them along with a strange doubt. Then she shook her head. "I hope so. Goodbye."

  And I found myself on the street outside the building with no idea what had happened.

  Chapter Twenty

  I emailed Dana to let her know I could start tomorrow, then went home and tried to enjoy my unexpected time off but of course I couldn't. At least my new boss wrote back delighted to have me on board early, or I'd have wondered if everyone hated me. I couldn't understand why Anna had been so suspicious of me, why Gary hadn't even said goodbye and good luck after all the time I'd worked for them, why none of my coworkers had been around.

  At least, I didn't understand until the next morning. Wendy and I had agreed to have coffee together before my first day, and though I was a bit early she was already in the coffee shop looking uncomfortable.

  "Hey," I said as I walked up to her, and she jumped as if she'd been caught doing something terrible.

  "Hi." She pushed out a chair for me and I sat down, worried.

  She sighed. "I really wish I hadn't gotten here early."

  "I'm sorry, I should have been earlier myself so you didn't have to wait."

  She gave me a quizzical look. "That doesn't even make sense. And it's not about you. Well, it is, but it's not because of you."

  "And you say I don't make sense. What's going on?"

  "Get a drink first. You'll need one."

  Has anything good ever followed such a pronouncement? "Okay. Need anything?"

  She shook her head, so I went to fetch myself a tea. When I got back, she said, "I think there's no point in telling you what I was going to tell you. It's moot. So. Excited about today?"

  "I was until I walked in and saw my new coworker looking like she'd been sucking a lemon. Come on, tell me."

  She sighed again. "I was waiting in line behind two women talking about someone who quit yesterday."

  She knew Tina so she wouldn't have referred to 'women' if one had been her. "What did they look like?"

  "A big blonde and a tiny Asian woman."

  My former boss and her management buddy Kathy. "I know them. The blonde's Anna."

  She shook her head. "I figured."

  "What did they say?"

  "They didn't mention you by name, but Anna said the person who'd left had been great for years but then just fell apart. She was actually about to fire this person before she quit. Apparently she, you, pretended to be okay but your coworkers told a different story. They said you were constantly talking about changing yourself and doing weird things to make it happen, never sticking to a decision, and even running away from people at social events. Anna told the other woman that she couldn't risk having you at conferences."

  "My coworkers? But I was fine with them. And I didn't go to any social events except with--" The truth hit me, and I stared at her, shocked. "Tina. She lied about me?"

  Her eyes sympathetic, she said, "I think so."

  "I did talk about changing but not all the time, and I wasn't doing anything weird. I was just trying to do the opposite of what I usually did, to shake things up. And she ran away from me at a play because she went after some guy." I shut my eyes as I remembered. "She told me a few times I should quit, that they didn't appreciate me like they should." I looked at Wendy and gave a choked laugh. "I thought she was being nice."

  Thankfully, she didn't treat me like an idiot for believing Tina. "She was pretty convincing, from what little I saw of her. But yeah, she was after your job. She has your job. All the conferences are hers from now on."

  I dropped my head into my hands. "I can't believe I fell for that."

  She gave me an awkward pat on the shoulder. "You thought you were friends. Of course you trusted her. You should have, that's what friends do. It's her fault for being a bitch."

  I hadn't always trusted her, though. I'd been suspicious of her at the beginning, but I'd made myself move past it, convinced myself I had misjudged her. I hadn't, though. If I'd listened to my intuition I would probably still have left DataSource, since talking to Dana had made it clear I'd grown bored with my work, but it would have been on my terms, not with my bosses thinking I'd lost my mind.

  "I did want a change, but now I feel like I was forced into it instead of making the decision myself. Just like when my boyfriend left me. Back in May. We'd been together a long time." I took a sip of my coffee to try to loosen my suddenly tight throat. "Tina used that against me. She was so sympathetic when we talked about it, pretended to understand why it made me want to make changes, and then she smacked me around with it."

  "I'll smack her around myself if she comes by."

  I surprised myself by giggling. "I bet we could sell tickets to that."

  "Two hits, my friend. Me hitting her and her hitting the floor."

  "Cheap tickets then."

  We grinned at each other, recognizing we had moved up a level in our friendship, then I sighed. "This is so not the mood I wanted to be in to start my new job."

  "I should have told you later. Or not at all."

  I shook my head. "No, it's good. I might have called Tina to tell her how the day went and I'd feel even stupider later for having done it. Thank you for telling me." I took a deep breath and tried to pull myself together. "Shall we go to work?"

  *****

  "Hardly anyone's here yet," Wendy said unnecessarily as we passed the empty cubicles. "We have a meeting at nine-thirty every Wednesday and Dana looks the other way if people don't show up until then."

  "What time do they come in the other days?"

  "Between eight-thirty and nine. Loren's here at eight-thirty."

  "He's the one I'll be working with mostly, yes?"

  She nodded. "He's sweet. Cute, too."

  I smiled and didn't bother saying that didn't matter in the slightest since I had no intention of dating him.

  Once we'd finished the tour, she took me to Dana's office and left me there to sign forms and documents and banking directives while Dana talked my ear off about everything I'd be responsible for and how much work needed to be done.

  I felt queasier the longer she went on; during my interview it had seemed like I'd be doing the in-depth data analysis but she was mostly describing the grunt work of getting the data together and cleaned up, the stuff I hadn't had to do at DataSource because we'd kept lower-level staff for that. Once I had my forms signed, I said, "What about the full-on analysis?"

  "Loren has it covered. If he's feeling overwhelmed he can pass some along to you."

  "So, he's my boss?"

  She shook her head. "I am. But he's been here a long time and he gets to work on whatever he wants."

  Lovely.

  This wasn't at all what I'd wanted, but I had no chance of returning to my previous job since Tina had lied so thoroughly. I'd have to make the best of things here.

  We talked a while longer, then Dana glanced at her computer's clock. "Time for the weekly meeting. Unofficially, you don't have to get in before nine-thi
rty on Wednesdays."

  I nodded. "Wendy told me."

  "She's a good kid. We're lucky to have her."

  I smiled. True, I was sure, but such a difference from how my former boss was talking about me these days.

  As we approached the conference room I could hear the staff chatting, and a little of my tension eased. They sounded genuinely comfortable with each other, in a way I'd never heard at DataSource, so maybe they'd be comfortable with me too and I'd be able to fit in.

  Dana stepped into the room. "Better stop talking about me, I'm here now."

  Unfortunately, she stopped just inside the door so I couldn't get in, and also couldn't see who said, "We weren't talking about you. You're not that interesting."

  Everyone laughed, including Dana, then she said, "Mental note, fire Jay at earliest opportunity," and moved forward.

  I followed, and she looked back and said, "Sorry, Andrea, was I in your way? Everyone, this is Andrea. She'll be working with Loren. That's him at the end of the table."

  I turned in the direction she was pointing and found myself looking into aquamarine eyes.

  Surprise flickered through me, and he blinked, clearly also recognizing me from Cats and our eye contact in the subway station. "Welcome, Andrea. Nice to meet you."

  "You too." Loren. Mister Eyes. Small world.

  Dana introduced me to the other four staff members then said, "And you already know Wendy, of course."

  My friend grinned. "Come sit with me so I can protect you from your new boss."

  I did, smiling, and Dana gave a snort and said, "It'll take more than that."

  The meeting lasted about an hour, and my mood somehow managed to go up and down at once. Up because everyone seemed friendly and committed to their jobs, down because the work I'd be doing so didn't interest me. I thought sadly of the gloriously complicated work I'd had at DataSource, the depth of the puzzles I'd needed to solve to make everything work out, and though I kept a happy smile on my face inside I was raging at Tina for taking that from me.

  Guilt tainted the pure rage I wanted to feel, though. She hadn't taken it. Yes, she'd lied about me and that certainly hadn't done me any favors. But I had quit on my own. I'd decided I didn't want to be there any more.