Godforsaken: Book 1 (Shade of Light)

by Suren Hakobyan

  “You could say that. He’s going to come to the club with us this evening,” Lily informed her. Her face relaxed into a smile. “Is that okay with you and Mike?”

  “Hey, sweetheart, what are you talking about?” Nancy raised her eyebrows. “Of course it’s okay. I just hope Mike gets along with him.”

  Lily smiled. In her mind’s eye she saw the four of them sitting around the same table. What kind of subjects could they talk about together? Although Lily knew nothing about Samael, she was sure that he couldn’t have anything in common with her friends to talk about. Samael had said it himself – he and Lily didn’t need words when they were together.

  Lily told her friend almost everything about the lunch while they were on the train.

  “You do remember that we have to do some shopping, don’t you?” Nancy poked her.

  “Yeah,” Lily replied, looking from Nancy to the doors of the subway. Her heart sank when she saw a man wearing an emotionless expression. She might be wrong, but that man seemed familiar to her. The man stared pointedly at her from the distance, as though he was waiting specifically for her. Now Lily could see his blue eyes filling with anger, like they were two oceans pinned on his face. A mad storm had risen in them, and high waves rushed in his eyes. Was he really looking for Lily? She felt confused and scared.

  Nancy jabbed her hand.

  “Lily, are you alright?”

  Lily jerked back and her stomach turned to water.

  “Lily, what’s up,” Nancy sounded anxious, holding Lily by the shoulders.

  Lily sucked in the air in relief, then glanced promptly at the doors. Nobody was by them, the stranger had disappeared abruptly. But Lily could still feel the weight of his blue eyes on her. He should be somewhere around. Lily glanced to and fro, but it was too difficult to spot anyone in that crowded station.

  “Lily, talk to me,” Nancy said, shaking her. “What did you see?”

  “I… I don’t know,” Lily stammered hurriedly, filling her lungs with air.

  “Don’t lie to me. What was it?” she demanded.

  “I thought I saw someone I knew,” she muttered.

  “Whom?” Nancy peered around instinctively.

  In that very moment, Lily’s cell phone rang. She was delighted seeing her Aunt’s number on the screen.

  “I’m sorry, I have to answer,” she said to Nancy, seizing an opportunity to get away from her friend’s questions. “Hi, Auntie. I’m fine. And you?” She began talking on the phone and walking out the station, but at the moment when she was passing through the doors, her throat dried up, recalling the stranger’s malicious blue eyes.

  *

  The hours dragged by and the evening fell. Lily was in her room, lying on the bed, waiting for Samael. He was already running late. There hadn’t been any calls from him. Although she hadn’t given her number to him, she was sure he should have figured it out by now.

  “Lily,” Nancy knocked at the door.

  “Come in,” Lily struggled into a sitting position with a yawn.

  Nancy popped the door open. “You’re tired,” she remarked, coming in and sitting on the edge of the bed.

  “No, I’m okay.”

  “He’s late,” Nancy said mournfully. “Mike is already here at the door waiting for us. Let’s–”

  “You go, I’ll wait,” Lily glanced out the window, hoping to see Samael there. It was dark outside, and if he was standing there, she wouldn’t be able to see him.

  “Lily,” Nancy sighed, “maybe he has unsettled business at the office. You know, he’s a very important figure–”

  “Nancy,” she cut her off, putting her hand on her friend’s shoulder, “thank you, but I don’t want to go without him. I won’t feel comfortable now if I go. You can go ahead and have fun with Mike.”

  Nancy looked at her graciously, caressed her blonde hair, then stood up.

  “Okay, I’ll go, but I’ll look forward to seeing you there,” Nancy assumed an injured air, but Lily ignored that.

  “Okay.” She grinned almost plaintively.

  Nancy approached the door, peered back over her shoulder at her friend once more, and finally walked out, leaving Lily alone. A minute later, Lily heard the slam of the door, and she knew that Nancy was outside now.

  Lily stood and went over to the window. Through the dense darkness, she saw Nancy walking toward the streetlamp-lit road, where Mike was waiting for her in his red car. There was nobody else around except her friends. Her heart sank as she realized that the street was empty after Mike and Nancy drove away.

  She withdrew back into the room and tossed herself onto the bed, putting her face into her arms, tears beginning to stream out of her eyes. Why did Samael lie to her? Maybe he did have some important business things to do, but if that was the case then he could have called her up and notified her, couldn’t he? Lily began to struggle against her own doubts to defend Samael, but it seemed that the man was guilty. Nothing could protect him, until…

  The doorbell rang, sending her stomach slamming into her spine. Lily stood bolt upright excitedly, and instinctively ran to the window. The street remained empty, but the doorbell rang again. Lily peered out suspiciously.

  She slid out the room slowly. Her mind began working by itself. She remembered the stranger she had seen at the café and by the subway, the one whose image had vanished from her head as soon as she had got a call from her aunt. What if he was standing outside the door now? Fear flooded her soul as she recalled his malicious expression.

  With trembling hands she approached the door. She opened her mouth to say something but then her throat betrayed her, and her voice remained absent. She sucked the air in deeply, trying to gather herself, then opened her mouth again.

  “Who’s there?” she asked vigorously, but her heart was beating faster than any bird’s.

  “Samael.” She heard the voice of the man whom she had been waiting for all evening. Her face split into a wide smile as she flung herself toward the door.

  Lily opened the door rapidly and saw Samael’s face looking down at her with his admiring green eyes.

  “Samael,” she whispered with a distracted look, as if she didn’t believe her own eyes.

  “You’re surprised to see me?” Samael raised his eyebrows.

  “Oh, no,” Lily said awkwardly, “I just thought you had a lot of work to do, and that you wouldn’t show up tonight.”

  “I gave my word,” he reminded her. Samael took her hand and lifted it to place a gentle kiss on her skin. “I came later so that I could be alone with you until we met your friends at the club.”

  Lily remained motionless, admiring his handsomeness, and again the almost unbearable desire to throw herself into his arms overwhelmed her.

  “Are we going?” Samael beamed at her and bent forward putting his other hand on her check.

  Lily didn’t think to answer him. This time she couldn’t restrain herself or handle his scent and charm. She stood up on her toes, threw her hands over his shoulders, and devouringly kissed him on the lips. Samael didn’t seem confused, he propped his arm behind her back, pulling her close and lifting her until her feet left the floor. Lily proceeded to kiss him eagerly, releasing the torturous feeling that had been gathering inside of her since she had met him.

  Samael was the first who pulled his head back, separating their lips, but he didn’t move to lower her onto the floor. Lily opened her eyes to have a look at him, making sure he wasn’t a dream. And he wasn’t.

  “I guess we’ll go to the club later,” Samael whispered, caressing her check with his free hand.

  Lily nodded, then glanced at his face again, not knowing what to say.

  The idea of inviting him in popped into her mind. “Maybe you want something to drink before we go to the club?”

  “Sure,” Samael agreed, putting her down on the floor.

  “Come in,” Lily said blithely. She spun around and whipped toward the kitchen for the drink. “Make yourself comfortable,”
she added, before getting to the kitchen.

  Within a minute she came into the living room with two glasses of wine, and lowered them on the coffee table set in the middle of the room. The living room wasn’t big, but it included a sofa and two armchairs around the little table. There was a TV in front of the sofa, and a mini system which Nancy liked to play and dance to sometimes.

  Samael sat in one of the armchairs. Lily was about to sit in the other when he caught her by her hand. She glanced at him, bewildered. Samael caressed her skin, the other hand rolled over her waist and pulled her down to sit on his knees. Finally, Lily found herself sunk in his arms, and her breath stopped for a little while. She raised her hand and traced a finger on his face, then eyes, and finally his lips.

  “You told me you don’t drink,” Samael interrupted her, pointing to the glasses on the table.

  “I don’t. Nancy likes wine,” Lily justified herself quickly.

  “As do I,” Samael said.

  “Where is your car? I didn’t see it in front of the house.”

  “It’s parked up the street. I thought we could have a little walk together, but if you don’t want to, I can drive it here.”

  “No, no, it’s fine.”

  She was eager to kiss him again and melt as she tasted his lips, but dared not to start the action herself. Why didn’t Samael kiss her now that she was all his? What was he waiting for?

  Samael reached for the glass, Lily still on his knees. He took a big sip and then brought it to her lips. Lily peered at the red liquid, her lips twitched. She didn’t refuse. What would a little sip of wine do? Samael lowered the glass back on the table, then he reached her and spun her around slowly. His hand slid under her shirt. As his fingers touched her skin, a shiver ran down her spine. She inhaled air deeply but Samael didn’t let her exhale it. His lips covered her mouth and his tongue slid into her mouth briefly.

  Lily rolled her arms over his shoulders, pulling herself close to him and moaned in his mouth from the pleasure of his touch on her skin. His hand caressed her back, then went toward her stomach and up, finally finding her breasts. They were already plump and tight.

  Lily’s hot hands slid under his shirt, unbuttoning it to leave his hairy chest naked before her. The moment her eyes caught it, her lips went down to taste his chest involuntarily. She felt herself savor the moment when her lips touched his skin, and Samael uttered a groan of pleasure. That was it, she could rule in this game too, and Lily became bolder in her actions, kissing his chest down to his stomach.

  Samael didn’t let her enjoy this for long. He put his hands under her buttocks and stood up gingerly, hoisting her in the air. Lily held on to his neck, her blue eyes locked on his.

  Samael took her into her bedroom and put her on the bed. Lily didn’t pay attention to the fact that he knew which bedroom was hers. She could only focus on his green, wise eyes, which seemed to be shining like two torches.

  Samael took off his white shirt and tossed it aside, then his hands slid under her shirt and he pulled it up. Her bare breasts appeared before him. Samael pursed his lips, and Lily knew that he was keen to taste them. She cupped her breasts and pushed them together, as though inviting him to go on and take them with his mouth. He complied instantly, making Lily groan with eagerness.

  While he was kissing her white skin, his hands unbuttoned her jeans and helped her take off her white panties. Now Lily was absolutely naked, lying beneath the man whom she wanted the most in the world. It didn’t matter whether Samael liked her, or if he was doing this because Lily had once refused him, she violently wanted to feel him inside her at that moment even if it would be temporary. She was already wet, her heart couldn’t wait anymore.

  “I want you, Samael,” she moaned in his ear. “Take me, please. Take me now.”

  “With pleasure,” Samael grinned, and then she felt him enter her. He was hard and satisfyingly big which made her cry out loudly. She held on to his neck harder than she should have, her eyes widening every time he thrust into her.

  “You like it?” He whispered in her ear.

  “Don’t stop,” Lily moaned. “Don’t stop, Samael.”

  “I won’t.” He took her face in his hand and closed her mouth with his. She rolled her legs over his waist and pulled herself as close to him as her strength allowed.

  Lily’s breath increasingly became faster and faster. Soon there wouldn’t be enough air, but she proceeded to beg him for more. Samael wasn’t going to disappoint her, he gave her more and more until she straightened completely and her eyes rolled up in pleasure. That second lengthened and stopped. When she opened her eyes she saw a bright light above her as though they weren’t in the house anymore, as if they were soaring in the clouds. The light rippled through white and dense clouds, illuminating Samael’s skin which shone like a diamond under her hands. In all that brilliance, there were two gray wings stuck on Samael’s back. Everything was white except them, and although they were shining in that brightness, they still bore some kind of mystery.

  Before Lily could ponder where they were and what was going on, time went on again. In an instant the clouds and bright light were sucked out of her vision, and she and Samael were thrown back into the house and onto the bed again. Samael rolled aside, breathing rapidly.

  Lily looked to the left, watching as his incredible eyes stared up at the ceiling, and slowly crawled close to him, putting her head on his bare chest. Samael wrapped his arm around her back, pulling her close. He pecked a kiss on her head. They lay there for a while, without exchanging a word.

  Lily had already forgotten about Nancy waiting for her in the club. She felt herself in heaven in Samael’s arms, and the world she had known before she had met him seemed to have vanished in the depth of her memories, until her cell phone rang unexpectedly.

  Samael peered at her as she moved aside and reached for the phone.

  “It’s Nancy,” she announced and picked it up. “Yeah, Nancy.”

  “Hey, sweetheart, how are you?” She heard Nancy’s worried voice from the other side of the line.

  “I’m fine,” she replied shortly.

  “Are you still coming here?”

  “I don’t know, maybe we will come.”

  “We? He’s there?” Nancy guessed with an indignant voice. “When did he come?”

  “Yeah, he’s here.” Her eyes shone as she looked up at Samael. He winked at her.

  “That’s fine, Lily.” There was a pause for a second. “Did you sleep with him yet?”

  “Okay, I’ll call you later if we come around,” Lily said, changing the subject at once.

  “I knew it,” Nancy cried out jovially.

  “Nancy, shut up. I’m going to hang up.”

  “Hey, wait. I think I won’t come home tonight. I’ll stay at Mike’s, okay?” She said breezily.

  “Okay, see you.” She hung up.

  “Do you want me to take you to the club?” Samael asked as she put the phone aside.

  “I’m fine here with you,” Lily laid down on the bed, taking his head in her hands. Her hand passed through his light brown hair. She knew there were a lot of things that they could be taking about, but both of them kept silent, as if they were two teenagers finding themselves accidentally sharing a bed. Samael had been right, words didn’t work well for them; feelings were more powerful.

  He brushed her hair out of her eyes and kissed them gently. Lily exhaled deeply and her body relaxed.

  “You’re very beautiful, Lily,” Samael whispered.

  Lily was pleased. She grinned nonplussed, then hid her eyes from him and kissed his lips passionately.

  After the kiss Samael placed his hand on her heart and stared into her eyes carefully as if he was listening to something.

  “What is there?” Lily asked in a whisper.

  “I feel your heart hammering,” Samael noticed. “Is something wrong?” He asked, looking concerned.

  “No.”

  “What’s troubling you?”
/>   Lily exhaled but didn’t answer. She didn’t want to lie to him, there was something troubling her indeed.

  “Tell me,” Samael insisted, his eyes narrowed.

  Should she tell him? She thought about the glacial-blue-eyed man she had encountered twice. Lily couldn’t believe it was a coincidence. But had Samael become the man with whom she should share her fears? Would he protect her? Just having sex with him, once, didn’t make them that close yet.

  But, on the other hand, Samael had wanted to take care of her, at least to try it. That was what he had told her in the restaurant.

  Lily tucked her hair behind her ear and sighed.

  “I think I was followed.” Her voice released the words low and uncertain. “Twice,” she added dispiritedly.

  “What did he look like?” Samael put in at once.

  Lily raised her eyebrows in astonishment. She wondered. Someone else would have asked ‘why do you think so?’ or ‘how do you know that?’ Samael had believed her immediately.

  Lily blinked.

  “He was tall, wore black clothes and a hat,” she began. “He had blue and cold eyes, with a pale face, but he wasn’t ugly. He–” she trailed off suddenly.

  “What?”

  “How did you know that the person following me was a man?” She was astonished. It had suddenly hit her. Had Samael placed someone to follow her around?

  “It wasn’t difficult to guess,” Samael lay on his back and gazed up at the ceiling. “Did he talk to you, or just stare?”

  “I’m not sure, I just supposed.” She rolled left and found herself on his chest. Lily looked down at him affectionately. “Maybe I’m wrong, and nobody is following me.”

  She thought of playing a little game, something to help her understand if Samael had something to do with the blue-eyed mystical guy.

  “But you said you saw him twice, didn’t you?” Samael reminded her.

  “The first time I didn’t see his face, he was standing far away,” Lily remembered. “But I got the impression that he was staring directly at me.”

  Samael took her face in his both hands, turned it towards his, and kissed her lips. “Be careful, baby. You should understand that life won’t be perfect with me.”