Godforsaken: Book 1 (Shade of Light)

by Suren Hakobyan

  Baby? Lily wondered whether he had feelings for her or if this was just a performance. But she hadn’t signed up for the angels’ and demons’ war, and she definitely hadn’t signed up for being the key that unlocked something only hell knew of.

  Despite his calm tone, Samael seemed really outraged, so Lily trailed off and sank back into her seat.

  They were already back in the city. Lily hadn’t tried to bother Samael anymore. She had been watching the sky and the fast changes happening up there. Now knowing the truth, Lily imagined what might be going behind those black clouds. The angels were outraged, and they might come down after her and Samael any moment. Would they show mercy?

  Lily’s cell phone rang. She had forgotten about the phone and the text message she had sent to Nancy earlier that night.

  “Nancy,” she picked up.

  “Lily, where are you?” Nancy’s worried voice came from the other side of the phone. “Are you all right? I just saw your message. Who was in the house?”

  “I’m okay now,” she conveyed, knowing she sounded suspicious. She glanced in the rear-view mirror, hoping to read the proof of her words in Samael’s eyes, but the unearthly creature seemed not to be listening to her conversation. He kept glancing at the sky and the road. “I’m going somewhere and don’t know when I will come back. Don’t worry about me.”

  “What? Are you serious?” Nancy cried out in surprise. “Are these your words or is somebody else making you say them?”

  “No, Nancy. Listen–”

  “I should call the police. Hang on,” Nancy urged.

  “No! You shouldn’t. Everything is alright, Nancy. I’m with Samael.” What could police do to help Lily’s situation? She would take more lives with her – policemen’s lives, and they wouldn’t be able to help her at all anyway. She decided to clear up everything herself.

  “Where is he taking you?”

  “I don’t know, it’s a surprise,” Lily lied with a forced smile, even knowing that Nancy wasn’t able to see her face.

  Yet she got Samael’s attention. He looked at her in the mirror, realizing who she was talking to, but said nothing.

  “Tell me, are you happy?”

  “Yes, Nancy, I am. You know, I’ve been waiting for this a long time.” Lily recalled her dreams – all her life she had been dreaming about the man who would truly love and protect her. Instead, she was in the same car as a creature who had been an angel once, then a devil and who now, most probably, was going to use her as a key for something unknown. A tear streamed out of her eye and rolled over her cheek, down to her pale lips. “At last I’ve found it,” she lied.

  “I’m so happy for you,” Nancy said breezily.

  “I know. You’re really like a sister to me, Nancy. I’m so happy you have Mike.”

  “And now you have someone with you too,” Nancy reminded. Lily sighed desperately. If she truly had him.

  “Okay, I’ve got to go now, Nancy. I’ll call you later,” her voice trembled, but Nancy didn’t seem to notice it.

  “See you. Enjoy him,” Nancy said, and hung up.

  Lily put the phone aside. With tearful eyes, she stared out the window at the houses they were passing by. She gulped. Just a day ago she had been a student, being sad about the cute guy she had met in a club. And what now? She had hated her life before meeting Samael, but was she satisfied with discovering this heavenly world, and finding herself in the middle of a war between angels and devils? She supposed it wouldn’t be so bad as long as Samael was with her, but he was behaving so coldly toward her. She didn’t feel the warmth of him, like she had the night before in her bedroom when Samael had been loving and kissing her. Without his help, or anybody’s help, she doubted she would get through this. The dull ache of disappointment gnawed at her heart.

  Lily wiped her tears. Maybe she was trying to hide them from Samael, but her soul was crying loudly, and her eyes weren’t able to veil that. Samael knew, she felt, but he ignored her, proceeding to steer the wheel. Remorselessly, he looked at her in the rear-view mirror.

  The city had already been awake. Lily looked at it sadly; the city was rushing on, it hadn’t felt her disappearance from its life. One ordinary man could change nothing in such a big city’s life. A lot of people arrived and left it in a day, but even that torrent was unable to have an impact on the giant city’s process. But what if that one person wasn’t a human? Lily wondered.

  The car came to a stop. Samael leapt out and opened the door for Lily. She wanted her eyes to meet the lovely eyes he had had the day before, but instead she saw two green stars in his face. Recognizing any feeling in them was impossible.

  Lily got out obediently and looked around. They were in front of an unfamiliar church. At first glance, it looked abandoned. People passed by without even paying attention to the old building. A thought popped in Lily’s head – nobody except her and unearthly creatures could see the church. While she was examining it, Samael took her arm grimly.

  “Hey,” Lily cried out in surprise. “Easy.”

  “I’m sorry,” Samael muttered. “Let’s get inside, please.”

  Lily opened her mouth to protest, but then shut it, finding no words to say to him. She just frowned at him, then headed for the church entrance. Samael hurried forward and caught up with her, avoiding the surprised gazes of passersby. Nobody peered at Lily, she was dressed normally, but the guy walking along her seemed to them truly mad. Barefoot, shirtless, and sporting scruffy facial hair – of course Samael wouldn’t seem normal.

  The gates of the church opened themselves, inviting them in. Lily expected somebody to be opposite them, but the inside was empty. Nothing to get surprised about, she said to herself, as the magic and supernatural things were going to be part of her life from now on. There was no reason to think about who had opened the gates.

  As they went in, a long hall loomed into her view. Lily spotted a monk in a black cassock standing at the altar on the other side of the hall. He seemed to be praying. His head was tilted, and the only thing Lily could see was his frizzy blonde hair, long and loose on his shoulders. The gates closed behind them quietly and Lily felt as if she was thrown into a different space. The walls encircling her made the world outside feel unreal. Lily was sure that if she looked out the window, she would find herself in the middle of a black sphere, as though this church was a door to countless lost worlds caught up in that emptiness. Glancing up, Lily didn’t feel as though there was a roof above her. But the church did have a roof, although it still felt like an illusion, a mere gateway to Heaven. She was walking alongside Samael to the altar, but her eyes still stared up at the roof.

  The last time Samael was here, the hall was full of benches, but today it was clear and looked larger for their lacking. The sound of Lily’s footsteps spread out and was sucked in by the walls – there were no echoes, as though the walls pulled every sound inside and locked them deep.

  The monk spun around. He met the guests with his brown gleaming eyes. Seeing his kind face, Lily exhaled in relief, feeling a little consolation in her chest. The monk’s was the only bright expression Lily had seen since Beelzebub’s visit.

  “Samael,” the monk greeted first. Then he glanced at Lily. “This must be her, yes?”

  One more person saw her as a key, not as a human, she thought and stopped next to Samael.

  “Raphael,” Samael greeted him in return, “yes, this is her.”

  “I have heard a lot about you,” Raphael smiled politely.

  “What exactly?” Lily asked, narrowing her eyes.

  “That you embarrass Samael,” Raphael replied, eying the gray-winged man. “What’s happened to you, Samael? Where are your expensive clothes? Did they run away from you with that Russian magnate?”

  Samael sniffed, burying his gaze in the altar. “Take her upstairs to have a rest, Raphael.” It sounded more like an order than an appeal. “She’s exhausted.”

  “You know that Michael might come for her any moment.” Raphael
’s smile faded from his face. He became serious, and the gleaming in his eyes died away. “What you did an hour ago can’t be ignored. You knew that–”

  “But I did it anyway,” Samael finished his sentence. He peered at the monk grumpily. “Michael won’t sacrifice himself for the survival of humanity, you know that as well as I do. He won’t touch her, he isn’t an idiot.”

  “But Gabriel might,” Raphael put in severely.

  “Then don’t let him in,” Samael growled, before he wheeled around and headed away.

  Raphael and Lily watched him disappear behind the door, then the monk exhaled with disappointment and looked at her.

  “Come on.” He forced a smile. “I’ll show you your room.”

  The room was small, but light. There was only one bed, a cupboard in one corner, and a window that overlooked the church backyard. There was hardly enough space for two of them, and the ceiling was so low that the monk had to tilt his head when they came in.

  “It’s small, but lovely,” Raphael said.

  Lily chortled.

  “What?” Raphael seemed interested at once.

  “I just…,” she stammered, “I wonder why such a powerful and famous angel like you lives in such small rooms on Earth.”

  Raphael didn’t reply at once. He approached the window, glanced out, then turned to face Lily.

  “The angels don’t tend to favor richness. We don’t gravitate towards such expensive lodgings,” he spoke mildly. “You saw how Samael lives, but he’s the exception rather than the rule.”

  “But Samael isn’t an angel. Is he?” Lily spluttered.

  “Everyone was an angel once,” Raphael smiled composedly. “All of them are the creatures of out Father, but everyone’s path is different. Some of us chose to stay with our Father, to protect and improve the world he created, but some of us decided to–”

  “Destroy it?” Lily cut him off, waiting for the answer impatiently.

  “No! Nobody wants to destroy this world. You see, it’s incomparable, it’s beautiful, but everybody sees it in his own way. When Lucifer was wandering in the first place God created he was flabbergasted. But he was the one who then noticed the world needed…updates. He was the one who tried to find errors in Father’s creation.” Raphael glanced back out the window over his shoulder and trailed off. Lily stood rooted in place, waiting for the intriguing story of the angel while his thoughts drifted back. “He was the reason that humanity was banished out of the Garden of Eden,” Raphael went on. “Earth became man’s new home. It was large and endless for him, but even that boundless world wasn’t enough.”

  Raphael turned to Lily. His brown eyes were dark now, his blonde hair darkened, losing its brightness even while it was illuminated by the sun. He came up to Lily, took her hand into his and examined her palm. His hand was warmer than Samael’s, and his touch passed that warmth into her soul. For a glitter of second Lily wasn’t on Earth, she was soaring through the clouds as though she was weightless. No gravity, no problems, just her. But then she was standing in front of Raphael again, and real life returned before her eyes.

  She blinked. What did those angels and devils do to her? She hastily pulled her hand out of his grasp.

  “I need to go downstairs. Samael is waiting for me,” Raphael said, and reached for the door. Just before he left, he peered back over his shoulder. “Make yourself comfortable.”

  The door shut and Lily was left alone. She heard Raphael’s footsteps climbing down the stairs, then they died away. Here in the room the city’s usual voices, car horns and the noise of people, were gone. The sunlight rippled through the single narrow window, bringing warm air in. Lily padded toward the window. She looked up; the sky was cloudy and wicked, the lucid blueness was hidden behind a dark fog soaring over the city, but the sunlight caved one hole in it, illuminating only the church.

  11. The Protector of Heaven

  Samael stood barefoot at the altar, wearing a black shirt that he had found in Raphael’s belongings. Again he was seeking something, gazing up at the picture of Christ, who looked down on him with regretful eyes. Still staring, Samael took a thin candle lying before him on the altar, and stretched it out to illuminate the painting. The candle lit itself of its own accord.

  The sound of Raphael’s footsteps reached his ears from behind. He lowered the candle back down, the fire extinguished the same way it had grown. Samael spun around to face the brown-eyed monk.

  “Why did you come to me, Samael?” Raphael spoke the first. “What do you need?”

  “You said you were always happy to see me here, didn’t you?” Samael reminded.

  “You never come here just to see me, brother,” Raphael remarked. He slowly came up to the altar, glancing over at the same picture Samael had been regarding. “You lied to us. Why did you keep the survival of Eve’s line a secret for so many years, Samael?”

  “Why do you think I knew about the survival of the line?” Samael tried to sound surprised, but Raphael knew him too well.

  “Everything you do is part of your own especial plan.” Raphael turned to look directly into Samael’s eyes. “Every step of yours has a reason. Tell me, why did you choose the life of an outcast when you assassinated Efran and his whole family?”

  “It seems that I missed someone, which brings us to her,” Samael pointed up, “Lily. She’s Eve’s heir and, as you noticed, a female one. Now I’d like to see how Father’s sons are going to save her – and the world – from their eldest brother.”

  “You’re his son too, Samael,” Raphael put in frantically. “Why do you always try to step apart from us? What have you got that we haven’t? You think you’re cleverer, but you acted the fool this morning. It’ll bring us to war. What were you thinking when you rushed down to Earth, holding your heavenly power in your palm?” Raphael closed in, their faces were an inch away from each other. “You’ve fully destroyed yourself. I’ll gladly send you to Dudael to accompany Azazel as soon as I get an order from Heaven.”

  “At least I won’t be alone there,” Samael teased curtly. “Azazel needs a companion.”

  “Don’t laugh–” Raphael shouted.

  “I had to save her,” Samael shouted louder. His eyebrows arched and his eyes began flaming again. His irises grew wide, making his whole eyeballs green. “I couldn’t let Lucifer capture her. She’s not Eve, she doesn’t need Lucifer’s love anymore.”

  Raphael stepped back, stunned. Then a blank grin curled his lips. “You’re in love,” he whispered, more for himself than for Samael.

  “What do you know about love, Raphael?” Samael gave a dismissive wave.

  “Don’t you understand that you gave Lucifer a piece of freedom today?” Raphael seemed to not be listening to Samael. He was grumbling to himself instead. “The gates of hell are open now. He knows she’s alive and he’ll come after her. He’ll do everything to get her back. Countless sons of Perdition will fly into this world.”

  “Listen, Raphael,” Samael jabbed his shoulder to get his attention, “look at me.” He raised his voice. Raphael’s brown eyes scowled up at him. “Only Azazel saw Lucifer in the Garden of Eden, only he knows Lucifer’s secret. I believed him once, without knowing what he was capable of, but Azazel knows. Heaven won’t win this war if we don’t sort this out.”

  “Michael knows too,” Raphael turned back to Samael and approached the altar. He peered at another picture, one that contained a garden, a man, and several animals around him. “He was in the Garden with Lucifer that time.”

  “Michael would rather go to the Island of the Dead than tell you anything,” Samael snarled. “He thinks we aren’t fit for him and Lucifer. They are the first creatures, they are the best. But you see, only one can be the best, and he will always look for an opportunity to prove himself.”

  “What are you implying, Samael?” Raphael looked back with fearful eyes.. His eyes twitched nervously.

  “Raphael,” Samael said, as he put both his hands on the monk’s shoulders, �
�Michael has always craved a fight. He wants that with Lucifer, with swords like in the time of the war in heaven. You made a mistake when you told him about Lily.”

  “What? I didn’t–”

  “I know that you told Michael about her,” Samael insisted. “He knew about Lily, he followed her but he didn’t dare to act as I acted. By killing her he would be banished, but he loves heaven and Father so much that he will definitely choose to be destroyed rather than banished.”

  Raphael took Samael’s hands off his shoulders and paced aside. His head bent as he walked to and fro, thinking about Samael’s words. His cassock covered his feet, and, looking at him, one might say Raphael wasn’t walking, he was gliding over the floor.

  “You want me to take you to Dudael, don’t you?” Raphael asked.

  “I have to get there. We need to talk to Azazel. Father gave the prison’s key to you, I know, and nobody else can set foot in there without you.”

  “Yes, and he had a good reason to give it to me. He didn’t want anybody else to go there, and I believe he hasn’t changed his mind. By going there, you could aggravate the situation further.”

  “Times change, Raphael. We haven’t much time to consider this,” Samael pressed deftly, “either you take me there and we find answers, or we’re going to lose Heaven to Lucifer,” he assured.

  “Why are you so sure? The last time something this happened, Michael defeated him easily,” Raphael reminded him.

  “Lucifer was defeated because he believed Eve was sent to the Island of the Dead. He was wounded, but now he’s healed from his wounds.” Samael faced the altar and indicated the picture of heaven. “This is the place that my seven brothers will protect from Lucifer,” he snarled sarcastically. “The great seven. You think Uriel will stand side by side with Michael? Or Saraqael? He seeks for an opportunity to rush down on Earth and I daresay he will soon stay here forevermore. Because of the Torah, humanity doesn’t believe in God anymore, people believe in power, money and sex. They will surely believe in Lucifer and take his side sooner than you ever expected. Life has changed – hell is now more stylish than heaven. What is heaven for these poor creatures? Tell me, Raphael, don’t stay silent.” Samael waved his right hand and a bench with two ghostly people sitting on it appeared in the hall. “They’re tired of the God who gives them nothing but life,” he explained. Samael twirled his forefinger and the illusion he had created vanished into thin air.