The Splitting (The Matsumoto Trilogy Book 2)

by Sarah K. L. Wilson

  I had my own fight now. I had my own war not just to finish here, but to start all over again when I left Baldric and brought the dogs of war to Nigel Matsumoto’s doorstep. Besides, he wasn’t my Roman anymore.

  But I am, he said, clear as a dropped glass in a silent room.

  What? I wanted him to say it again and to keep on saying it forever.

  I’m still your Roman, Vera. No length of time could change that. No distance could tear you from my heart. Even death – or what I thought was death- couldn’t make me forget. I dreamed of you. I fought for you in my dreams and daydreams. I’m still every bit your guardian, but not just your guardian. I’m yours, down to the bones, deep to the core.

  But -

  No. No buts. You forgot that I hear all your thoughts, not just the ones you transmit. Did I love Ashlyn?

  I felt his mind stutter a bit over her name. His pain was still fresh.

  Yes, I did. But I still loved you, too. I thought you were dead. I thought I was alone again. She was alone, too, and she was kind and good. But do you think that loving someone else could make me stop treasuring you? I remember every moment. Every time that you stepped up to do the unthinkable, to do your duty – I remember. That lost girl that you were, alone like me, wrecked like me – I remember. The deep anchoring I felt at your existence – I remember. If you reject me now, I will still remember. But know this, Vera Matsumoto: I am your guardian. No matter where you go I will follow and I will guard you. No matter if you ask me to come or bid me to stay, I will watch your back and keep you from harm. This is my vow, here, and today. Regardless of what you say I am your guardian and I won’t stop guarding you.

  My heart felt full and heavy like it was ready to burst. Tears filled my eyes, hot and streaming, and they rolled down my face and dripped off my chin. I had to wipe my nose on the back of my sleeve. I was just glad that no one was awake to see it. They would have laughed at the scarred girl with the raggedy hair and the red, swollen eyes. I didn’t know what to say. What do you say to that?

  Thank you.

  I tried to make it as soft and sweet as it would be if I were speaking.

  Do you believe me?

  I believe you, Roman.

  Ok. So now stop with the ridiculous self-pity and self-condemnation and let’s get on task here.

  I think you said something about loving me, I teased.

  And if you stop distracting me and let me figure out a way to find you in person, I’ll show you exactly how much I love you. I’ll kiss every inch of you, and promise to protect you with every kiss.

  My cheeks felt hot. I need to say something before we do that.

  Okay. He sounded a bit less sure of himself.

  I accept your protection.

  The joy he sent my way made me feel hot all over. I had a sudden mental image of those kisses he’d promised.

  Excellent. There was a long pause. Is Ian McIsaac with you?

  So I wasn’t the only one who was jealous. Thoughts of Ian made me sad and angry. It wasn’t right. Nigel would need to know that. In person. From me.

  He died yesterday.

  He didn’t say anything, clearly grappling with something on his end. I hoped it wasn’t relief, but that was hypocritical. After all, I was relieved that Ashlyn wasn’t competing for Roman’s affections. I felt a twinge of sadness for her as well.

  When this is over we’ll mourn our dead together, Roman said, and I felt a surge of gratitude that he knew exactly what I wanted.

  Together, I agreed. But we need to talk business before one of us is attacked again. We are mounted and heading to you. I’m not sure how much longer our mount will last. It’s over rough terrain and he’s carrying five people. Can your implant run a map program?

  Yes.

  Send map location to Roman Aldrin.

  Wow. You’re still pretty far away. Hostiles? he asked.

  All around us in the trees.

  Holy- He was quiet for a minute, and when he spoke again he sounded controlled and careful. Vera, how close are you to being attacked?

  Don’t panic. They’ve been with us all along. They don’t seem to want to attack just yet. They’re waiting for something.

  Do you know what they’re waiting for?

  We think they’re waiting for their leader to arrive. We don’t know anything about her, except that they called her ‘she.’

  Why would they wait?

  They have an honor code. They plan to test us until we die and then absorb us into their group consciousness, or something like that.

  The feeling he gave me felt like an intake of breath.

  I won’t let that happen.

  I felt all warm from that, like he’d put an arm around me, but I couldn’t help myself.

  Actually Roman, I won’t let that happen.

  Then we’re on the same page.

  The sound of insects buzzed in the air and I felt myself spin with dizziness again for a moment, but I pulled myself back together, gripping the webbing net hard. I needed to hang in there at least until I got to Roman.

  You should sleep if you can, Roman. There’s going to be a real fight tomorrow. I’m going to need you at your best.

  For you, Vera, I will fight like a hurricane.

  I grinned at that. It was teasing and sweet all at once.

  Roman?

  Yes?

  I wanted to tell him that I loved him, too. I wanted to, but somehow I was struggling to say the words.

  Sleep well, I managed.

  Stay alive for me, love.

  I kept riding, watching my map and the red inverted carets as I slowly moved southeast, around the river system. The inverted carets grew by multiples as the hours increased. I prayed for dawn. I dreaded dawn. I didn’t think I even wanted to see how dark it would still be when the sun rose.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  The stars above Baldric were amazingly clear. As my eyes grew accustomed to the dark I started to notice their milky trail across the Baldric sky. If this world wasn’t constantly trying to kill me I might be tempted to settle here. The climate was reasonable, with proper breathing apparatus it was hospitable, and it really was a gem of beauty. If you are going to take an epic journey with a few brave companions that will most likely end in your death, you should do it in a picturesque place like Baldric. I snorted at my own humor.

  “What’s so funny?” Driscoll asked in a quiet tone from behind me.

  “We’re riding to our likely deaths and I’m enjoying the view.”

  “Well, enjoy it if you can,” he said, “All of life is just a battle towards our eventual deaths. You enjoy the pleasure when it comes and somehow it helps to counterbalance all the pain.”

  “Are you in pain right now?” I asked him.

  “Have you ever been in love, Vera?” he asked.

  “Yes.”

  “I loved a woman a long time ago, and she was taken from me. There is never a day that goes by that I don’t ache over it. Did you lose your love, Vera?”

  “I did. But I have a chance to get him back.”

  “Who was it?”

  “My guardian, Roman Aldrin.”

  “You don’t really want to be with a...guardian,” he spat as he spoke, “do you?”

  “Classism? Coming from you? That’s priceless.”

  “It’s not classism. Believe me. I know all about every class and clique in the Blackwatch Empire. I’m not above mixing with any of them, but guardians...well, they’re just lap dogs, Vera.”

  I laughed with the bittersweet laugh that only comes from a deep sorrow.

  “That’s what Ian always thought, too,” I said. “It’s funny that you know so much about guardians when you hate Matsumotos.”

  “Vera,” he said, with a sigh, “as you get older you will realize that hatred is rarely something you feel towards people you barely know. You must know someone very well to truly hate them.”

  “Like you hate me?” I challenged. “I don’t think you know me very wel
l.”

  “I know more than you’d think,” he muttered, and then let his usual barb of irritation into his voice, “I know all you Matsumotos more than you think. You know the rations you are so worried about consuming here?”

  “The ones with Compound VX-7?” I replied, reminding him that it wasn’t fussiness that prevented me from eating the food.

  “Exactly.”

  “The ones that slowly turn the occupants of this planet into shadows until they lose their souls to a collective consciousness? The soul-sucking rations?”

  “The very ones.”

  “Yes, I am somewhat aware that those exist, Patrick,” I said, irritably.

  “Well then here’s something you probably aren’t aware of,” he said, imitating my snarky tone exactly. “As we speak, Compound VX-7 is being injected into the entire unsuspecting population of the Blackwatch Empire. Have you thought about my suggestion that you take the Empire for yourself?”

  “I have,” I said, coolly. “But I don’t know what that has to do with injecting the population with pharmaceuticals.”

  “And what have you decided about the Empire?” he asked, with what sounded like a very exaggerated patience.

  “Are you going to answer my question?”

  “Not until you answer mine,” he said.

  “If I survive the wilderness of Baldric and am victorious, I will seize the Empire from Nigel Matsumoto and take it for myself,” I said, my voice ringing with the bald-faced challenge. If you’re going to risk everything and probably die, why keep anything a secret?

  “Excellent,” he said, and for once he actually sounded pleased.

  “Excellent?!” I said, shocked. “I thought you hated me. How can you relish me as your Emperor.”

  “Not my Emperor,” he said absently, “Never my Emperor, but as the Emperor...yes. That would do just fine. “

  He paused for a moment, and our admissions hung between us as substantial as the shadows that battled us. He continued in a tone so fervent I was almost afraid. Where had this Driscoll come from?

  “I told you that you will need me when you become Emperor, Vera, and you will. I will not only help you ascend the throne, but I will be your hand, doing your bidding in every way. You will be Emperor. I will do everything in my power to make it so. And the thing that you need to know right now, Vera, is that if you are not Emperor within the next six months – if you are not able to put a stop to the Compound VX-7 injections, then all of Blackwatch will be shadows within a year, and your entire Empire will be just like this lovely, dark planet.”

  I sucked in a breath.

  “Impossible.”

  “Really? Impossible? Have you looked around?”

  I swallowed hard. If they could split a world and rend the entire population’s souls from their bodies, then why not an Empire?

  “But why?” I asked.

  “Why Baldric? Why implanted technology in Matsumoto heads? Why the deaths of dozens within your dynasty and countless without? Your Emperor breaks all rules and betrays all loyalties. Even his own. I’m sure that everything started as a worthy goal to improve those around him, but I have been fighting Nigel Matsumoto now for nineteen years, and I can tell you this: things have spiralled out of control, and he will do anything to regain that control. Even things that may have seemed insane to him only a few years ago.”

  I laughed again, and again it was one of those ridiculous laughs that you laugh when the only things left to do are to laugh or to cry and crying would hurt too much.

  “Patrick Driscoll, are you saying that our entire Empire - and millions upon millions of lives - are dependent on a small, desperate journey made by a handful of people to place an heir on the throne?”

  “I suppose I am,” he said, and though I couldn’t see his face in the black of night, I could hear him smiling in those words.

  “Well in that case,” I said, “how could we ever fail?”

  “How indeed?”

  He laughed and I joined him.

  “We’ll have to fight through these shadows and rescue Roman,” I said.

  “Commandeer a shuttle and fly it to the waiting ship without them suspecting,” he said in turn.

  “Commandeer the ship and somehow fly her back to New Greenland, with the crew hostile and no one on our side able to fly a starship. And then in a desperate coupe seize the Empire.”

  “Well,” he said, “I think I can help you there.”

  I hated thinking about colluding with an actual terrorist, despite the fact that a terrorist would probably have some pretty decent ideas on how to topple an empire, so I went for the other option.

  “You can pilot a starship?” I teased.

  “Before I was a terrorist, I was a starship captain,” he said, and his words rang with truth and sorrow in equal measure.

  I was speechless. Eventually I managed a flippant remark.

  “Well, in that case I suppose all we need to do is carry on.”

  “But before we do that, I would like to give you something,” Patrick said.

  “A marine company?” I teased.

  “My vow of fealty,” he said instead.

  The hard edge of his voice made me think he was serious. I was so shocked that I was more grateful than ever for the blinding darkness, for I could not school my face into a solemn expression throughout his entire vow. I never would have seen this coming.

  “I, Patrick Driscoll, place my vow of fealty before Vera Matsumoto. I pledge obedience, loyalty, and service in all things. In her hands I place my life. If I fail her, may she take it from me in return.”

  I answered with the official words, on auto pilot, still too stunned to even know how I felt, but I did think to do one thing for him. I substituted ‘Matsumotos’ with ‘Vera Matsumoto.’ I didn’t think he’d care to have the Matsumotos as a whole promise him anything.

  “Enter into our fealty with the blessing of Vera Matsumoto. I will defend you and yours in so far as law and justice allows. I will keep you and yours in the manner of all my sworn vassals. Bound by law, protected by my hand. You shall be my vassal. By the true honour and the seal of my word I bind you to me today.”

  It was different than Ian’s vow had been, since his had been for a nation and Driscoll’s was for an individual vassal, but it felt eerily the same. I bit back tears. By all that was holy, I hoped I would do better by him than I had by Ian. It turned out I was a Matsumoto after all. Who would have thought I’d be so good at it?

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  The night was long, and I barely kept myself awake. The hours ticked by and everyone else slept. Sometimes one would wake for a while and then another, but eventually they drifted off again. We’d all had a long hard haul on this dust ball, and everyone needed their rest. We rustled through what supplies we still had and ate rations – I ate them, this time, too – and drank water. We were low on both. Fortunately, we would soon reach the shuttles and hopefully be off of Baldric before it became a concern.

  My excitement at both Roman’s and Patrick’s vows kept my mind racing as I fended off sleep. I wrestled to think of a way to conquer the Empire. It seemed premature with so much else going on, but I couldn’t help but slip into daydreams about an easy overthrow of the throne. I would be hailed by all as the rightful ruler and bring justice and peace. Daydreams are great distractions. If only they were true.

  We were an hour’s ride from the shuttles when Rhinric finally fell. He’d shown no signs of flagging, but just went from his complacent amble to falling over to his side. I scrambled off, and everyone else did likewise, cursing or exclaiming depending on how asleep they had been when it happened.

  I spun around, hoping to help our great friend, but as I reached for him, he disappeared into nothing. My sense of loss and sadness was greater than anything I’d ever expect from losing an alien animal that may never have been really alive at all, but I was enormously saddened by his passing. I wiped tears from my eyes, placing my hands on the ground where
he had been lying only a moment before. It was like I could still feel him in the warmth of the earth. His soul, drawn into the ground of this world’s gaia lived on to rise again. His echo was hollow in my heart and I clenched my fists with anger at the unfairness of this life.

  We hitched our packs onto our backs and unspooled the tangled webbing. Sleep time was over. Fortunately, or maybe unfortunately, the packs were very light. Only Ch’ng still had ammo in his nettlegun. It was at 5% capacity. The other firearms we had were empty and there was no point cross-loading them from Ch’ng’s with so little to work with. Our packs had so little food and water that we had better get somewhere by nightfall, or we would be down to nil supplies.

  We all sighed or grumbled as the party followed me out, stumbling through the darkness. Our speed had just decreased threefold and now we had to march hard to make up for our lost mount.

  We’re under attack again, Roman told me through the link. We’re trying to fight our way back to the shuttles despite the dark. How far out are you?

  About three hours now that we’ve lost our mount.

  Get here as fast as you can. The ship is anxious to see us pull out.

  Understood, I said, my feet sliding on an incline I hadn’t noticed ahead of time.

  I won’t leave without you, Vera. If we have to, we’ll come find you out there.

  Look after yourself, Roman.

  There was a long pause while he clearly was busy with other things.

  Don’t worry about me.

  I was worried, though. Strain came through with his thoughts. The shadows were pressing them hard, and I knew exactly how hard they could press. If Kitsano was right, then they were testing them so that they could see which marines were worth absorbing. I needed to stop daydreaming about a potential future and remember that the present was precarious enough. The worst thing I could think of was facing the shadows with Roman as one of them.