Fierce

by Wild, Clarissa

  “How much?” the guy says.

  “How can you do this?” I scream.

  The guys turn around, all looking like they’ve seen the chief of police. When Hunter notices it’s me, his eyes fire up with anger.

  “What are you doing here?” he yells.

  I storm over to them, and the guy who they were talking to runs past me, scared he’ll get in trouble, probably.

  “What the fuck is wrong with you?” I frown and stare at Hunter towering above me. I’m no longer afraid of him. He can do with me whatever he wants, I don’t care. He needs to hear this.

  “I told you it was none of your business. Why can’t you just leave it alone?” he growls.

  “Of course I won’t leave this alone! You’re selling drugs! How can you do this? ” I say. “And you, you got him into this!” I point my finger at Jaret, who starts shaking his head.

  “No, I’m in this as deep as he is. I’ve got no part in him getting into this,” Jaret says.

  “I can’t believe this! Goddammit, all this time you’ve been doing this, haven’t you? What would Jessie say?”

  Hunter steps forward, pushing me against the wall. “Leave my brother out of this. I will do whatever the hell I need to do to survive.”

  “It’s wrong, and you know it.”

  “I don’t care,” Hunter says.

  I purse my lips together and frown, pushing back the tears. “Fine. Suit yourself.”

  Fuming, I storm off, leaving the guys there dumbfounded.

  ♥♥♥

  Back in my room, I’ve been reading the same page for minutes. I can’t seem to even finish one chapter today. The only reason is Hunter and what I caught him doing.

  I still can’t believe he’s selling drugs.

  Brody must be involved.

  He was making the bags, and now Hunter’s selling them. They’re all part of the same group. Is it a gang? I have no goddamn idea, but it freaks me out knowing this is all happening at my college, and nobody else seems to know about it.

  Opening my drawer to take out a different book, I notice something lying on the bottom. A note with handwriting on it.

  I take it out and feel something attached to the bottom. Fiddling with it, I rip it off. It’s a tiny bag filled with only one white pill.

  Hey Autumn,

  I’m sorry for being such a dickhead the last couple of weeks. We’re both working hard, but I know that’s not an excuse. You’ve been studying so hard, and I think you could use a little boost.

  I hope I can trust you with this.

  Cheers, Brody.

  With trembling fingers I rip open the packet and inspect the pill. Shit. Is this really what I think it is? How can he give this to me and treat it like some kind of peace offering?

  The nerve …

  And to think he’s even asking me if he can trust me. Him, of all people. The irony.

  With furrowed brows I throw the tiny bag back inside my drawer and slam it shut.

  Someone knocks on my door, and from the heavy thumping sound of it I can clearly hear it’s Hunter. He doesn’t even wait before inviting himself in.

  I don’t want to look at him right now.

  He stomps forward with his heavy feet, coming closer to me. I’m shivering behind my desk, but I don’t want him to see my nervousness.

  With a thwack he throws a book in front of me, and I jolt up from my chair.

  “You left this on my bed,” he says, leaning sideways as much as he can so he can look at me.

  He puts his hand on the table, waiting for me to answer.

  “Thanks,” I say, after his fingers scrunch up my papers.

  And then I notice his knuckles. They’re all bloodied up, scratch marks all over them.

  My eyes widen, and I look up at him. A black eye marks his face.

  “You’re hurt!” I say, and I grab his hand and check his wounds.

  He only growls and just stands there, saying nothing. His rough fingers lie limp in my hands, as if he’s giving me complete access to fix him up.

  Frowning, I throw one angry look at him, but he just looks back at me with those piercing gray eyes like there’s nothing wrong.

  “You got in a fight again,” I say as I grab some tissues.

  Wiping his wounds clean, I glance at him, but he refuses to answer. I’m so mad at him for selling drugs, but at the same time I can’t let him stay all bloody like this. I have to help him out, even if my first instinct is to tell him to leave my room.

  I don’t want to see him hurt.

  “Was this the other thing they asked you to do?” I say, looking him straight in the eye. He just stares back.

  I stand up and grab an ice pack from my fridge. I also fetch a stool and put it down in front of my chair. “Sit.”

  He groans, annoyed, but sits down anyway. He looks pissed, probably not used to having girls tell him what to do. Well, if he wants help, he’d better do as I say.

  I press the pack against his black eye and put his hand on top. “So, you want me to fix you up, but you don’t want to tell me why you’re busted up?”

  “It’s not going to change anything,” he says, keeping a stone-cold face as if none of this is even remotely bothering him.

  “Yeah, well getting into fights isn’t going to change anything, either. I don’t understand why you always have to do what they say.”

  I open my drawer and take out a package of bandages, but before I can close it again, Hunter pulls it back open. He puts his hand inside and fishes out the plastic bag with the pill.

  His eyes become viciously big, and he makes a fist with his bruised knuckles. “Who gave you this?”

  “Does it matter?”

  He slams his hand on the table, and I almost spring up from my chair. “It matters if I say it does!”

  “And you think that by yelling I will just go ahead and tell you? Just like you told me why you’re dealing drugs and fighting people?”

  His nostrils flare and his nose twitches. “Whatever. As long as you do not use it.”

  Snorting, I say, “Why do you care? You’re the one who’s handing out drugs to people. It shouldn’t matter to you.”

  He grabs my hand as I’m busy with the bandages. “You matter to me.”

  Frozen in place, I hesitate. My face heats up, turning my cheeks pink. I can’t even look at him.

  “W-well,” I stammer, “I don’t think you’re the one to tell me what to do and what not to do.” Seeing the drugs in his hand and his bruised face makes images of the day in the cafeteria flash through my mind. He looked so drugged up back then.

  Now I know why.

  “You take them yourself. That day you showed up in the cafeteria you looked like you were beaten up quite badly, and you had red eyes. Don’t deny it. You’ve done it yourself.”

  The bag with the pill is crushed in his hand. “And you think I wanted to do that?” he hisses.

  “You tell me,” I mutter.

  “I hate it. I hate the fucking stuff so much, you can’t even begin to imagine. But I had to. There was no other way to …”

  “To what? You had to use drugs to do what?”

  “To forget. To feel a little better. And because they told me to,” he says, sighing.

  I knew it. He’s really under their thumb.

  I swallow, wrapping the bandage carefully around the slashes on his knuckles. He doesn’t look as broken as last time, but it still isn’t a pretty sight. I wonder what he’d do if I wasn’t here. Would he go to the hospital? Or would he just leave his wounds and let them get infected?

  However, now that I’ve seen the extent of his problems, I totally get why he wouldn’t want to go to the hospital. If you’re there, and you’ve been in a fight, the cops are immediately involved. With his history I don’t blame him for not wanting to have anything to do with law enforcement. They robbed him of his brother.

  “Tell me you won’t use that stuff … please.” His voice is croaky, and it sounds like he’
s begging me. “Not ever,” he adds.

  I snatch the pill from his hand and throw it in the garbage bin next to my door. He visibly relaxes, seeing it disappear.

  “I won’t. But why do you?” I say, and I fasten the bandage around his hand with a clip.

  “Because I have to.”

  “Why can’t you just tell me why?” I say. “Are you afraid I’m going to spill your secrets or something? Don’t you trust me?”

  “Because I don’t want you to get hurt, all right?” he bursts out.

  I’m dumbfounded by his sudden explosiveness, but also because I’m flustered. I don’t really know what to say to it, because it feels so unreal. I don’t even have the guts to look him in the eye. My heart is pounding in my throat.

  His free hand reaches for my face, and I freeze. My nipples tighten when his fingers touch my skin, and my nerve endings are on fire. I burn on the inside, wanting more of his touch. His thumb skids across my cheek, gently caressing my soft skin with the rough pad of his thumb.

  My breath hitches in my throat.

  I can’t believe it. He’s really touching me.

  It feels so good, I just want to nudge my head into the palm of his hand and let him touch me everywhere. It sets my heart on fire.

  When he stops, I shudder.

  He chuckles a little. “I told you you’re afraid of me. I knew it.”

  I bite my lip, my cheeks burning up, feeling very exposed. “I’m n-not,” I stutter.

  “Yes, you are. You’re terrified of me. Just a touch from my hand makes you shiver.” The grin on his face is making me feel both embarrassed and hot and bothered.

  “Why are you so afraid? I’m not going to hurt you,” he says with a cocky voice that makes me want to give him a second black eye.

  “Because I’ve never had a boyfriend before, okay?” I say, sighing. “At least not past the kissing stage.” There. It’s out now. I’ve said it. And I feel completely stupid for blurting it out.

  For a second Hunter just stares at me with a blank look on his face. Then he bursts out into laughter.

  “Is that it?” he says, in between laughs.

  Frowning, I make a fist with my hand. “Yes. Stop laughing.”

  I pound him on the shoulder, and he inches back with a wince. “Ouch. Damn, your punches have improved.”

  Shaking my head, I snort. “You’re an asshole, you know that? Laughing at girls because they’re not experienced.”

  Suddenly Evie walks into the room and stops in her tracks when she sees Hunter sitting there.

  I clear my throat. “Hey,” I say.

  “Can we talk?” Evie says, looking fazed.

  Hunter looks at her and immediately gets up from his stool. “I’ll get going.”

  “Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow for training then?”

  “Sounds cool,” Hunter says, and he smiles. “Thanks.”

  Then he passes Evie, who’s still standing in the doorway.

  I clean up all the mess that’s left on the desk, while Evie just holds herself, standing there, looking at me. I don’t really know what to do or what to say. She’s mad at me, that’s for sure. Ever since I told her I was falling for Hunter she’s been acting strange.

  Does she really hate him that much?

  “Do you have time?” she says.

  “Sure,” I say, and I turn toward her.

  She sits down on her bed and stares at me from a distance with a scared look on her face.

  “What’s the matter?” I say, getting up and sitting down next to her.

  “I … I just can’t deal with this. Seeing you and Hunter together all the time …”

  “Why? I mean, he’s nice. You should really get to know him first.”

  “That’s exactly what I’m afraid of.”

  Frowning, I look at her. I don’t get what she’s saying. Her lip is quivering, though.

  “I’ve been afraid to tell you all this time … and that’s why I’ve been hanging out with Scarlet for such a long time. She’s actually quite nice, if you get to know her.”

  Wow, it surprises me that Evie’s actually saying this. I never expected her to see past her initial opinion of Scarlet, but she’s done a complete turnaround now. Weird.

  “Anyway … She’s been helping me out a little, and I’ve been helping her in return.”

  “That’s nice. I’m glad you found another friend. Now I’m not the only one,” I say, and I grab her shaking hand and squeeze it.

  I want to show her that I’m here for her, no matter what she’s going through. I don’t care if she got mad over Hunter; I just want us to be friends.

  “She told me to just tell you.”

  “Okay? What do you want to tell me?” I say.

  She turns around to look at me, her lips parted. She licks her lips anxiously.

  Suddenly she leans in and kisses me right on the mouth.

  I panic, open my mouth and draw back. What is she doing?

  A flush spreads across her cheeks and she looks in pain just from seeing me react.

  Shit. Brody was right all along. She likes me.

  Oh God. What have I done?

  “I … I’m sorry,” I say. “I don’t feel that way.”

  I should’ve known. I should’ve realized it sooner.

  I’ve been flaunting Hunter and my feelings for him in front of her face all this time, and she’s been pining over me instead. I can’t believe I’ve been such a jerk to her. Now I understand why she dislikes him. She hates that he stole me from her.

  But I can’t do anything about that. I don’t want to lose Hunter.

  But I don’t want to lose her either.

  “It’s okay,” she says, her smile fading. “I know. I’ve known for quite some time, but I was ignoring it. I wanted it to be different. I didn’t want to be ‘just best friends.’ I wanted more.”

  “I’m sorry,” I repeat.

  She chuckles lightly. It sounds like she’s embarrassed. “No harm in trying, right?”

  Her eyes are getting glossy, and she’s swallowing away the tears. Just looking at her makes me feel sick to my stomach. I’ve been blind to the truth. She’s into me, but I can’t offer her the same love in return.

  Not like that.

  “But … I’m not,” I stammer.

  “I know …” she says, nodding, biting her lip. “I just wanted to let you know.”

  I look down at the sheets, unable to think of what to say.

  “I don’t think I can stay here any longer,” she says.

  My eyes jolt up to her again. “What?”

  “I can’t do this anymore, Autumn. I can’t watch you with Hunter, knowing what I’m missing. Knowing what I can never have. It’s turning me into a person I don’t want to be.”

  “So you’re leaving?” Now tears are forming in my eyes, too.

  “Scarlet offered me her room for a couple of weeks. Her roommate left, so … At least I can crash somewhere.” Evie stands up and packs some stuff into her suitcase.

  So it’s really true. She’s leaving because of me. Because she has feelings for me I can’t give her in return.

  “But you barely know her,” I stammer.

  “I think I can manage,” she says, zipping her suitcase shut. “I like you, Autumn. Too much. I need to be alone for a little while, so I can overcome that. Maybe stop thinking about you every second of the day.”

  I smile, feeling embarrassed by the idea that she thinks of me the way I think of Hunter.

  Damn, this is complicated.

  “Well … bye,” she says, and she gives me a gentle peck on my forehead.

  A tear runs down her face as she grabs her suitcase and stumbles out the door, glancing at me one final time before leaving.

  Chapter 16

  Hunters gonna be Hunters

  I can’t close my eyes tonight. The tears just keep coming, making my entire face wet. Eventually I just give up and started reading instead. Not that it proves much of a distraction. Evie a
nd her confession play over and over in my mind, and I keep thinking about what I should’ve done differently.

  It’s too late to change it now.

  Getting out of bed is hard, but I manage. I don’t want to lie down if I can’t sleep anyway. Better do some homework instead.

  It’s dark outside, and when I look at Evie’s bed the emptiness makes me feel hollow inside. I feel like I just lost my best friend, which is absurd. She’s only a few dorm rooms away. Still, I’m feeling blue today.

  Just as I’m about to sit down at my desk, someone knocks on my door.

  I open it and am baffled. Jaret is standing there in a fine suit with a glittery hat on.

  “Wow,” I say, squeezing my eyes shut because of all the shimmers. “Going somewhere?”

  He chuckles. “It’s the hat, right? I thought it looked cool.”

  “I’m jealous,” I jest. “So, what’s up?”

  “Well, there’s this party going on at a secret location, and I wondered if you’d like to come?”

  “What? Me?” I say. “Secret parties?”

  “Hunter’s there, too. I’m surprised he didn’t bring you. Maybe he forgot. Anyway, since you’re his girlfriend, I figured you’d want to come.”

  “I’m not his …” I’ve already stopped talking before the entire sentence comes out. I’m not his girlfriend, I think. Just the thought makes me blush like crazy. But maybe if he believes I’m Hunter’s girlfriend, I can get inside and figure out what he’s doing at that party.

  “Sure, I’d love to come,” I say with a big, fake smile.

  Maybe this will be a good thing. Sitting here and thinking about Evie all night long clearly isn’t doing me any good.

  “Cool. Thought you could use the distraction, seeing all that homework.” He glances at the stack of books on my desk.

  “Thanks,” I say. “It’s nice of you to ask me.”

  He smiles proudly. “No problem. So, you ready to go like this or do you want to put something else on instead? I recommend short skirts, especially if you want to be let inside,” he says with a wink.

  Squinting, I say, “Yeah, okay. Hold on a sec. I’ll go get dressed.”