by Martha Long
Then he stopped suddenly, looking very annoyed. ‘Now wait one minute, I say. You must not speak about my “girlfriend” in that manner! I will fight to the death to protect her honour!’
‘WHO?’ I screamed, pulling away, feeling my face turn all colours! ‘Madame Butterfly? The man-eater? Fucking fuck-face with the matching red talons? She uses them, ye know, to scrap and suck the marrow out of a man’s bones! She would eat you alive!’ I hissed, seeing him look so serious.
‘Don’t be silly, I only have one woman in my life and that’s enough for me, you silly goose!’
‘Who?’
He shook his head, saying, ‘Darling, don’t toy with me. You know very well about whom I am speaking! Now behave, or I shall be forced to take stiff measures to reassure you of my love. You must try to trust me. I do know my own mind, you know, but thank you for that kind piece of advice. I did wonder about those talons, as you call them,’ he said, giving a pretend shiver, then grabbing and squeezing me to him. ‘Now, let us have no more silly bickering, darling.’
‘Then give us a kiss,’ I said, not getting enough of him.
We stood outside the sitting room while I wrapped my arms around him, kissing him on the lips as he responded, pulling me to him and running his hands down my back, resting them lightly on my arse.
I pulled away, muttering, ‘OK, that’s your ration of passion. Now, let’s do something more interesting,’ I said, feeling myself getting out of breath as he pulled away grinning.
‘I think, darling, you are a slow fuse to burn,’ he suddenly said, bending down and whispering into my ear.
‘Tut-tut, dirty aul man,’ I muttered, giving him a filthy look.
‘Sweetheart, you know how to trigger me off. I shall not let you get away with that remark, take it back at once,’ he said, grabbing and pinning me against the wall.
I roared laughing, feeling him press me up against the hard wall. ‘Stop, you are going to bore a hole in me,’ I screamed, feeling him press the life out of me as he used his full weight to trap me. ‘Ralph, stop, what are you trying to do to me?’ I laughed, feeling him sink his mouth into my neck, sucking me. ‘STOP!’ I screamed. ‘It’s killing me with the tickles. Stop! I’m dying! I can’t take it!’
‘Do you admit you were wrong?’
‘Yes, no! Get off! Stop, Ralph, I will grab your what-nots!’
‘You will?’ he suddenly said, stopping to look at me, pretending to be serious! ‘I think you say that to tease, darling. Now I shall really make you suffer. So now I know your weakness, where else should we explore?’ he said, muttering and sucking his way around my neck then breathing down my back.
‘It’s too ticklish. Stop, I give in, now stop,’ I said, wrestling to get free. Then he had his knee between my legs. ‘Ralph, stop, we’ll end up on the floor,’ I said, getting hysterical with the laugh and him getting carried away with his game and ending up making himself go crazy. ‘Aaah!’ I screamed, laughing and crying as he nuzzled behind my neck, swinging to plant me in front of him, holding me in an iron grip.
‘Do stop screeching, darling. You are disturbing my supper,’ he muttered, stopping to tell me, then suddenly landing his hand gently on my face and the side of my mouth, saying, ‘Do turn that way and screech at the wall. Now, I say, this is rather good,’ and he went mad, sucking and moaning, driving me hysterical with the tickles.
‘I give up! I give up! Stop, stop! Enough,’ I said, getting my head and back bent as he held me over, nearly toppling the pair of us headlong onto the floor.
‘Are you sure?’ he said, stopping and looking at me all red-faced with the laugh and excitement in him.
I nodded, moaning, ‘No more, yeah, yes!’ I said, nearly bent in half.
‘Oh, damn pity. I was just getting into that meal,’ he moaned, looking at my neck and sliding his eyes down the rest of me with a mad glint in his eye.
‘No, you’re not getting your hands on me again,’ I said, sloping away from him with my eyes watching him sideways. ‘You’re a bloody maniac!’
‘But you loved it, darling! All that screeching, I thought you wanted more and more! I was simply obeying your orders, darling! Now the lady protests! Did I not please you, my love?’ he said, looking pained. Then he grinned. ‘Perhaps we should try again,’ he said, making a move for me.
‘Get away from me!’ I screamed, laughing my head off with my heart suddenly flying as I dived into the room, stopping in the middle, looking for a way out!
I slowly took off my high heels as he crept towards me with his arms out, saying, ‘I have lots of innovative ways of torturing you, my love. Good idea, do start with taking off the shoes,’ he said, throwing his head at them then pinning his glittering eyes on me.
I started to feel weak with the laugh. He was getting the better of me. ‘No, you have to give me a chance to defend myself,’ I said, trying to think my way out. ‘Fair is fair, Ralph, you are bigger than me! Look at the bloody size of you!’ I moaned, throwing my hand at his bulk.
He lifted his brow and flashed his eyes, giving a little nod with his arm spread towards the door. ‘You may try, fair lady. Go, sweep past me, but I shall catch you! Then you will weep!’ he cautioned, lowering his voice to a whisper and pointing his finger.
I started to cry and moan, staring at the distance between him and the door. ‘You have to count to three,’ I said, rocking inside myself to get up the power of speed.
‘Indeed yes!’ he said crisply, nodding his head, looking like he was very much in control.
‘You won’t best me, you bloody caveman Neanderthal!’ I snorted, trying to rattle him. Get him to make a false move.
‘Oh! The lady gives fair warning, good! I shall enjoy hunting you down even more!’ he said, speaking in the same tone.
‘Good idea, let me go, shut the door, then see if you can find me?’ I said, looking at him, giving him a wheedling little grin out of myself. I was beginning to enjoy this no end, thinking, he hates to lose!
‘There will have to be a forfeit for the loser,’ he said.
‘Yeah, good idea. What will you give up?’ I said.
‘ME! Darling, I grew up on these house-party games! Goodness, we played sardines as children . . .’
‘What is that?’
‘Never you mind, I see your delaying tactics. You are trying to tire out “an old man”, as you wickedly called me! Well, darling, I think I shall have to prove you wrong in the most fundamental way,’ he said, raising his eyebrows and flashing his eyes at me, then wriggling his body.
Then it hit me what he meant. ‘You dirty old man!’ I shouted, screeching past him, slamming the door shut as I stopped so suddenly with my head flying around I caused a draught, making my head spin.
‘Where?’ I breathed, feeling my heart racing and my body flying without moving. Jaysus! Think, Martha! Study! I lunged for the passage just as the door plunged open.
‘Ah-ha!’ he shouted, taking a step back with his head thrown in the air, then he sprang as my hand was gripping the door handle.
‘NO! You’re cheating!’ I screamed, getting swung through the air as his hand landed on my waist, swooping me into his arms and nosing his way past my ear down through my hair. ‘No, stop, play fair, Ralph. I’m not happy!’ I shouted, bucking and wrestling myself out of his arms.
He held me in front of him with one hand on my arse and the other one on my back, looking into my face, saying, ‘Methinks the lady doth protest too much! Enough, I have won fair lady’s hand in a just and lawful manner. Now, what was that you said about me being a caveman?’ he muttered, trying to carry me back to the sitting room as his eyes roved over me.
‘No, put me down. I am not caught, Ralph. You didn’t lay down the ground rules, not even saying how much time I should have! No!’ I said, pushing him with my fists.
‘Yes!’ he grunted, marching off with me locked in his arms, heading for the sitting room and kicking the door shut with his foot. Then he dropped me on the sofa and held me down, saying,
‘Yes, now for the forfeit. I think we should have off the—’
‘What forfeit? You didn’t say what it would be!’ I shouted, trying to lift my head but getting it pushed back down, with him saying, ‘Yes, top or bottom, darling?’
‘What?’
‘This or this?’ he said, flicking my jumper and rubbing my skirt.
‘You must be joking! You are not getting my skirt! What would you have given up if you had lost? Which you have!’ I snorted, feeling myself in a rage.
‘My top or bottom, darling, preferably my shirt!’ he said, shaking his head and looking very reasonable.
‘No, let’s start again! That was only a practice run, Ralph! Anyway, I might ruin my stockings. They are the only pair I have,’ I said, seeing him whip his head down and run his hands along my leg, right up to the top of the stocking.
‘Oh, darling, that is the least of your problems,’ he moaned, making himself comfortable, sliding down next to me.
‘No, I am not a happy woman,’ I said. ‘This is a terrible injustice. I intend taking my protest to the highest authority!’
‘Oh, good, that would be me, darling. Pray tell, what is your complaint?’
‘I’m thirsty . . . And hungry! And . . . I need a cigarette!’ I said, staring at him as he ran his hands down and around my belly.
‘Hmm,’ he said, thinking about this. Then he lifted his head to look over at the clock. ‘Five minutes to eleven. Yes, good, the night is still young and so are we, my beauty,’ he said, giving me a soft kiss on the lips, then pulling me to my feet.
‘Thank you,’ I said, looking up at him, seeing him looking at me so soft and kind and loving. ‘I love you so very much, Ralph,’ I suddenly said, wrapping my arms around his neck.
‘Oh, darling, you make me so wonderfully happy. I love and cherish you very deeply,’ he said, stroking my face and holding me to him.
We stayed that way, quietly listening to my heart flying then slowing down and hearing his do the same. I am so happy, I thought, thinking, if nothing else but bad happens to me in the future, I will always have the memories of these times when I felt safe and warm and loved and protected by Ralph. Now I know what it feels like to be truly loved. It was worth waiting a lifetime for. Dear God, Ralph is such a wonderful man, how could I settle for less? I thought, feeling the cold little knot of fear raising a warning voice in me. I gave a shiver, feeling like someone had just walked over my grave. That is the second time lately I have had that terrible premonition, I thought, thinking, I am very seldom wrong. My sixth sense is rising, suddenly putting the fear of God into me. Maybe it is just me being afraid of such happiness. I have learned not to trust it; it never lasts. But just maybe this time . . .
‘Are you OK?’ I heard Ralph whisper as he lifted my face, staring at me with a worried look in his eyes.
‘Yes,’ I whispered. ‘I was just thinking how happy I am being with you again, Ralph.’
‘Oh, darling, I have carried you with me always,’ he said softly, stroking my cheek. ‘Sometimes when I would sit and watch the sun set after a long gruelling day, I would wonder about back home, then you would enter into my thoughts. I hoped and prayed you were happy. I know we had not parted as I would have wished. A particularly poignant moment I always remembered is when you and I said goodbye for the last time.’
‘Do you remember that time, Ralph?’ I said slowly, realising he had kept that in his mind. He had been thinking about me after all.
‘Yes, I do. Of course I do, darling,’ he said, staring into my face, looking pained. ‘It was bloody awful,’ he said quietly, lifting his head and looking into the distance, thinking about it. Then he slowly nodded his head, saying, ‘We drove back to Dublin. I had taken you out to lunch. It was intended as a farewell. I wanted to prepare you. It was necessary for you to break all ties with me.’
No, I didn’t know that until it was too late, I thought, getting the terrible memory of that time again.
I stared at him, listening, realising I must have meant something to him after all.
‘Yes, I do remember. I saw you to your door then I sat and watched you. I felt so wretched, then when I saw how devastatingly tragic you looked I was tempted to stop the car and take you away with me. I loved you,’ he whispered. ‘But I thought it best you should be free to live your life, darling.’
I looked up at him and suddenly I burst into tears.
‘Darling, what is it? What have I said that has upset you so?’
I buried my head in his chest, feeling the pain of the terrible loneliness of those years without him suddenly hitting me. ‘What made you think of that, Ralph?’ I sniffed.
‘Well, darling, it was one of the hardest things I had to do. Yes,’ he smiled, thinking about it. ‘You were a young lady then, just on the threshold of becoming a woman, though you were rather too attached to me.’ He shook his head slowly, thinking about it. ‘I was not good for you. It was not healthy. No, I felt it absolutely necessary,’ he said, shaking his head.
‘Well, the wheel has turned full circle, Ralph. I still love you.Nothing has changed except I am now almost a middle-aged woman, in my thirties, and you and I are now mature adults. We are now equal,’ I said, looking into his face, seeing him staring at me like he was thinking about the wonder of that.
‘Oh, darling, I never want to lose you again,’ he said, kissing me very hard on the lips, pulling me tighter against him as his hands moved up and down me, stroking my back.
I responded to him, wanting to cry with the happiness. But all I could hear was our breathing and the moans of pleasure.
‘Food, drink, smoke,’ I gasped, coming up for air.
‘Heavens!’ he moaned. ‘Darling, I was just getting started. Must we interrupt? I should think what you have in mind is a very poor substitute!’
I laughed, seeing his hair standing up in all directions. He took no notice, saying, ‘Seriously, darling, may I not eat you?’
‘Wow, I never realised how randy you are, Ralph Fitzgerald!’
‘What? Sweetheart, you have not lived! It all awaits you, my precious!’ he said, making a grab for me, nearly catching my skirt.
I ducked, screaming laughing, and lifted my skirt, giving him an eyeful, saying, ‘Rubbish, you wouldn’t have a clue what to do with this.’ Then I flew for all I was worth, with him screaming like a red injun behind me!
‘Oh, good heavens, woman! You have a death wish,’ he gasped, tearing into the kitchen then stopping when he saw me holding on to the table, getting ready to make a run for it.
‘I shall clear that table and jump it,’ he said, raising his eyebrow and sounding very treacherous.
‘What? Then what’s the number for an ambulance? Because you will need it for the heart attack’! I screamed, roaring with the laugh, not able to get myself moving with the hysterics.
He made a run, catching me because I was standing still, rocking with the laugh. ‘No, darling, change of plan,’ he said, hoisting me towards the table. ‘It is not for jumping,’ he said, lifting his elbow and pretending to clear the table. ‘I am going to undo you,’ he said, slapping the table. ‘On this you will be undone! On this very table.’
‘Yeah? Well, you won’t be able to climb up without getting yourself a hernia,’ I snorted, trying to get it out with the laugh on me.
‘Oh, darling, you have too many misdemeanours now listed against you. I think we should call a recess for supper, then I shall consider your punishment!’ Then he slapped his hands, saying, ‘Good, settled then. Now! What has our Madame left out for us? Or rather, what has she stashed, hidden away?’ he said, nosing around the cooker and looking into pantry presses.
‘Here we are. Cold meats,’ he said, ‘bread, pickles, salad, cheese there, darling if you wish,’ he said pointing to the dish on the table.
I sat down and he produced a bottle of Chablis from the fridge, opening it. ‘Now, let us begin,’ he said, slapping my thigh and ladling meat onto my plate.
‘H
mm, delicious, I really am starving with the hunger.’
‘Darling! Hunger is redundant in that sentence!’ he said, whipping his head to look at me then attacking his food.
I paused with the meat to my mouth. ‘Well, if you were a Dubliner like me, you would understand that sentence perfectly well!’ I snapped, talking a big gulp of wine.
‘My dear one,’ he said, ‘it is not intended as a criticism, it is merely an observation! Frankly I find your turn of phrase quite appealing! Now, we shall not bicker. Cheers, darling!’ he said, raising his glass and tipping it gently towards me.
‘Oh, I feel better. Thank you, Ralph, I enjoyed that. Honestly, I don’t know what I would do if you weren’t here to feed me!’
‘You would help yourself,’ he grinned.
‘Well, I love the idea of you minding me,’ I said. ‘It’s a novelty for me. I usually get to mind other people. Come to think about it, I doubt I would have it any other way. I’m too independent. Except I love you taking care of me. It makes me feel very warm and special and feminine,’ I said, feeling myself melting at the sight of him sitting listening to me. He is so gorgeous, I thought, looking at his sexy green eyes with that sleepy, come-to-bed look he was resting on me now. His hair was all mussed and I grinned at him, seeing him giving me a sexy smile back, showing his dimples with the white teeth flashing.
Then he sighed, saying, ‘Darling, I have travelled far and wide, but no one I have met compares with you,’ he said. ‘You are an enigmatic woman of many hidden qualities. One cannot pin you down, really. It is one of the aspects I find most interesting about you. You never fail to surprise me, darling,’ he said, taking my hand and kissing it.
18
I woke seeing the morning light streaming into the bedroom. Oh, I yawned, stretching, feeling a ripple of excitement and delight running through me. Ralph loves me, he really does, I thought. I can’t believe that only this time yesterday morning I was preparing to go home today or get the tickets for tomorrow!
‘Oh, life is a bowl of cherries!’ I sang, diving out of the bed and grabbing for my dressing gown. I picked up my washbag and flew down to brush my teeth and wash my face. Then I was back, throwing down the bag, and was out the door, rushing for the kitchen, still in my dressing gown.
