Ma, I've Reached for the Moon an I'm Hittin the Stars

by Martha Long

  I took off back down the stairs, hearing voices already coming from the dining room. I walked in to see them all sitting themselves down and looked to see where I would sit. There was an empty place at the end next to Françoise. I made my way down there and sat looking back up the table to see the vamp sitting on the left of Ralph, with him sitting at the top of the table. Heinrich was trying to say something to her, he was sitting on her left, but she was too busy sulking at Ralph, who was talking to Pierre, the man with the moustache and slicked-back blond hair that reminded me of the fellow from James Bond, Simon whatever his name was, with the lovely-looking looks. Jaysus, they really are very polished looking, with their plumy, dulcet-tone speaking voices, and their air of having nothing ever lacking in their lives because it is just there for the taking.

  Suddenly Jacques turned to me, saying with a smile on his face, ‘Is this your first visit to France, Martha?’

  I looked at him, seeing his eyes laughing, looking very interested.

  ‘No, Jacques, I think now I have been the length and breadth of France. I have travelled here many times before. But only as a pauper!’

  ‘Pardon me?’ he smiled, not looking sure as he leaned in towards me, wondering was he hearing right.

  ‘You know, arriving on a wing and a prayer! Determined to have fun without the mon!’ I grinned, feeling the devil in me kick in again.

  ‘Oh, I see,’ he said slowly, not seeing at all, though his eyes were staring, trying to work me out.

  ‘Oh, yes, I have seen your Mona Lisa in the Louvre! I studied it quite intently. Frankly, I think she had just been well fed by Leonardo and he had just promised her another helping if she sat still. A genius like him could work miracles with a woman. She was certainly looking forward to round two with him, or maybe it was even round three!’ I said, staring him straight in the eye.

  He listened very politely, nodding with every word, then thought about it for a second as I sat back grinning at him. Then it hit him and he suddenly burst out laughing. ‘You think he was her lover?’

  ‘But of course,’ I said. ‘That man must have had an insatiable appetite for women. He had a ferocious appetite for everything else; nothing that moved escaped his attention. He needed to understand and explore everything! He sketched the skeleton of the human form right down to the minutest detail of bone and muscle. Can you imagine how a woman would feel with his attentions singled on her? Hence the secret smile! Those are the eyes of a woman who has just been loved, made to feel a goddess by a man who is an Adonis and well trained in the art of love and seduction. He probably planned it, groomed her, to capture the essence of a woman in love. His need was to understand, to dig deep and capture the essence, searching for the soul. He did that through the face of Mona Lisa, showing her inner passion. Then through Christ, showing the agony of his grief and suffering,’ I said, thinking of the Pieta, then thinking, or was that Michelangelo? Never mind, keep waxing lyrical. ‘Oh, yes!’ I continued, ‘he was searching for the soul, needing to capture a glimpse, then immortalise it in a painting. He knew we were mere mortals; he wanted to live on. Now he does, through his great works of art.’

  ‘Yes,’ he said slowly, ‘I do see what you mean,’ then he clapped his hands, laughing and saying, ‘Bravo! I love it! A very acute observation, Martha. Yes, I do like it,’ he said, raising his glass in a toast.

  I grinned at him, lifting my glass, and inclined my head, saying, ‘My pleasure, sir!’ Then I looked down the table to see Ralph staring down at me with a surprised and thoughtful look in his eyes, as if they were smiling. He slowly raised his glass, inclining his head, then bowed, saluting me. I stared back and slowly raised my glass, returning the salute, then grinned, letting him know I was out for mischief. I noticed Madame Butterfly was suddenly taking notice, as if someone had told her I was a wasp that stings. I raised my glass to her without smiling, saying quietly, ‘Madame!’

  She lifted her glass politely, returning the gesture, then snapped her attention on Ralph, saying something in rapid French, sounding like she was completely fed up and wanted him to do something. I laughed inside myself, thinking, yeah, two can play your game, Soviah darling! For now, you have the looks, so I have to dig for other resources.

  I sipped on my delicious liquor, feeling it coat my tongue as it slid down the back of my throat, making its way to my full belly. It warmed me, filling my head with a rosy glow, letting me think I must be back with the ancient Romans when they enjoyed great grandeur while devouring their fabulous feasts. Oh, Mammy, this is the way to live, I thought, letting my eyes wander down the table, seeing everyone looking relaxed and sated after this lovely dinner. I could still taste the creamy soup and the mouth-watering pieces of lobster that came floating in a gorgeous sauce. Not to mention all the lovely vegetables – the farmers must have just dug them straight out of the ground.

  Then my eyes lit on Ralph, who looking very contented and happy with himself. He was sprawled back in his chair with his arm resting over the chair of Madame Butterfly. She had her hand on his arm and the other one lying on his chest, leaning right into him. He was giving her his full attention. The hairs on the back of me neck bristled and I could feel a fire coming into my belly. I sat up straight, then looked around, seeing Jacques turn to rest his eyes on me. He had been deep in conversation with Françoise. I had been lost in me own world, letting it all run over my head. But now I was wide awake.

  ‘Jacques,’ I said, staring at him as I leaned across smiling. ‘I am curious about French men.’

  ‘Yes?’ he said, raising his eyebrows, letting his eyes flash in a smile.

  ‘Oh, yes, is it true what they say about them being wonderful lovers?’

  He laughed, thinking about this, then said, ‘But of course! We speak the language of love!’

  ‘Ohhh la la!’ I said. ‘Then it is all ahead of me. I had intended saving myself for the worms but you have just persuaded me otherwise.’

  ‘For the worms! Pouf! What a waste,’ he said, giving his hands a swiping clap and running his eyes up and down me. ‘No, this would be a tragedy! You must live today as if tomorrow does not exist.’

  ‘That sounds to me like the language of a philanderer!’ I said, taking a sip of my drink.

  ‘Of course it is, my dear! We French are great lovers of life.’

  ‘Yes, but some prefer a foreign dish,’ I said, letting him follow my head down the table to land on the pair of lovebirds.

  ‘Pouf,’ he said, lifting his face up and back to me, then waving his hand. ‘Each must have his own taste,’ he said, dismissing the vamp. Then he looked back and caught Ralph’s eye, giving him a shrug with a smile on his face, much as to say, She is desperate, my friend, but it is your problem! Ralph then landed his eye on me, giving a grin and shaking his head, much as to say, You are up to your mischief again. I winked at him, giving him a big grin, thinking, if that’s all he does, I have nothing to worry myself about.

  ‘Au revoir! Bonne nuit,’ Ralph said, as we stood at the door waving off the last of the guests, seeing them motor down the drive, heading themselves off for home.

  ‘Well,’ Ralph sighed, shutting the door to keep out the cold, dark, windy night. ‘I think that went quite well. It was a pleasant evening,’ he smiled, putting his arm around my waist and heading us back into the sitting room. He started to fold away the card tables and I collected the glasses, putting them on the drinks trolley and weaving it out the door, heading for the kitchen. Ralph followed me in and started to stack them on the draining board and around the sink, then went back to tidy up the sitting room. When he’d finished there, I followed him into the dining room, watching him as he looked around. He blew out the candles sitting in the silver candlesticks and collected up all the ashtrays. I started to stack the dessert dishes, picking up stuff and loading the trolley for taking away.

  ‘No, darling, leave all that. In the morning Madame will have the girls in from the village to help. Come along,’ he said, holding ou
t his arm, waiting for me. ‘Let us sit and relax.’

  ‘Great idea,’ I smiled, grabbing hold of him around the waist and walking out with him, then waiting as he stopped to close the door behind us.

  ‘Here we are,’ he said, going over to switch on the radio. ‘Let us have some music to soothe the savage beast,’ he said, grinning at me as he made to sit down beside me on the couch, while some soft music by Brahms filled the room with a lovely sense of peace.

  I looked, seeing him sit down and stretch his legs before flopping his arm around me and pulling me closer to him. I turned quickly and sat up on his lap, letting my arms wrap around his neck while he rested his hands around my waist. We sat staring at each other, saying nothing, just taking the other in.

  ‘I love you, Ralph. With you I feel complete. It is like I have arrived after a long and hard journey. I am not talking, either, about the trek it took to get here,’ I said, smiling at him. ‘I mean it is as if every step I have taken in my life has been leading me to you. I think the time when we first met was intended as a preparation for you to post me in the right direction. You have been the most powerful person in my life. I told you there was only one other, but he showed me the dark side of life. I followed you because you lit up my heart with goodness and light, and showed me there truly was a God in his heaven. So now you know, Ralph. I could never love another man the way I love you!’

  He just stared at me, searching my face, looking deep into my eyes like he could see into my soul. Then he kissed my face and my eyes, murmuring, ‘Darling, you are the only woman I have loved as a man should love a woman. As we were born to do. I want you with my soul and with my body. Darling, I too could never love another woman as I love you. I feel very privileged you have been saved for me, because you are most precious. Your heart is pure. You have such great gifts, my darling. I believe you have yet to even touch on them. But you will. Yes, darling, one day you will.’ Then he lowered me off his lap and whipped me around, lying me on the sofa, and stretched down beside me, stroking my hair and face.

  I stared at him, seeing how soft his eyes were as he stared back, giving me a look of infinite tenderness, letting his love for me pour out through his eyes. I could hear the words, ‘I want you with my body and with my soul.’ That means he truly loves me. So is he going to ask me then to marry him? Is he now ready to make that decision? I could feel myself getting very shy. The blood was pumping through me, making my heart go like the clappers. Does that mean he is going to sleep with me? I want to ask him . . . but I couldn’t bring myself to get it out. That’s what makes me feel shy. I am afraid he might reject me because I am jumping the gun. No, if he was ready, he would come straight out and ask me. Let it be. I know what I want. But he still has to arrive at what he wants.

  I sighed and put my lips close to his then gently kissed him. He let me linger as I gently tasted his lips, barely moving them. Then he pressed his down onto mine, kissing me harder as he slowly opened my mouth then searched, finding my tongue and drawing me into him. He pulled me into him, turning me on my back, then put his hand under my head as the other one went around my back, drawing us together.

  20

  Suddenly we heard the rushing tyres as a car screeched to a stop, dragging the ground from under it, making a crunching sound. Then the engine stopped and we could hear the slamming of a car door. Ralph pulled away from me, muttering as he stood up. He looked at me to say something but before he could get a word out there was an unmerciful banging of the knocker on the door.

  ‘Good heavens! What is going on?’ he said. ‘Who in damnation would make a house call at this time of night?’ he snorted, looking back at the mantle clock as he marched for the door, whipping it open then slamming it shut.

  I listened with my eyes on stalks as I stood up, but I didn’t make for the door. I felt this was his business, I have to keep my place. No matter what, I am still the guest here.

  I could hear the front door being whipped open, then muted voices through the sitting-room door, but they were raised in what sounded like trouble. I listened but could hear nothing to make head nor tail of. It sounded like they were confused, with people rushing questions, then someone rushing an answer. Jaysus! What’s happening? Has someone had an accident? One of the guests on the way home from here? Is that the police?

  I moved to the door, letting my hand drop on the handle, then hesitated. No, don’t go out there! He might get annoyed if he thinks you are interfering in his business. I hate to be in the way when I am in someone else’s house. I’m never sure where I stand. I went over to the mantelpiece and grabbed up my tobacco. Jaysus! I hope this is not trouble.

  I watched the door push open and saw Ralph stand back as Soviah glided in with him following at her heels. Her face looked like it was cut from stone but the eyes glittered with malice, looking like she was out for vengeance. Someone has crossed her, I thought, watching as she slowly took in the room, glancing past me but not really seeing anything. Then she dug her hands into the pockets of her long fur coat, letting it swing open. She was wearing black-leather thigh-high boots and the frock she had on earlier. She looked at Ralph, saying something, then stretched her arm, dangling car keys in her hand. He said something and she waved her head towards the outside, shaking the keys at him. Then he nodded and took the keys, disappearing out the door. I stood gaping, seeing her move over to the window and stare out into the night. My heart was dropping, looking at the style of her. Jesus! I have no chance against her. She really is incredibly gorgeous looking, very beautiful, chic and classy. What is she up to? I could feel a red-hot anger beginning to rise but I knew that would only play into her hands.

  I heard the front door bang shut and looked out into the hall, seeing Ralph set down two medium-sized leather suitcases. I shut the door behind me and walked down, saying, ‘Ralph, what is happening?’ Then I looked down at the suitcases, saying, ‘Is she going to stay here?’

  ‘Oh, perhaps for tonight. It would appear she and Jacques have had rather a heated row. She certainly seems very upset,’ he said, running his hands through his hair then taking in a big breath. ‘She needs to talk,’ he said, opening the door then closing it behind me after I followed him in.

  ‘Ralph, oohhh!’ she snorted. ‘Mon dieu!’ she said, pacing up and down, letting the coat swing around her as she puffed out smoke from her cigarillo, leaving it to trail out behind her.

  He said something, waving her to a seat, and she paused long enough to say, ‘Cognac.’

  ‘Would you like a drink, Martha, a brandy?’

  ‘No,’ I said, feeling my heart sink down into my chest.

  She sat down on the sofa where he usually sat and let the coat slide off her. Then he handed her a drink, taking one for himself, and pointed at her coat. She put out a limp hand and he took it while she lifted herself. Then he bent down and swooped it up, aiming it across to land on an armchair.

  I watched as he picked up his glass and stood against the fireplace, taking a sip of his drink then turning his attention to her. She stretched and crossed her legs, letting her frock ride up, then lifted her head, seeing him take this in. He took another sip, letting his eyes follow the length of her, right up to rest on her face, then he said something, speaking very softly.

  She lifted her face, pursing her lips, looking like she was going to cry, and started moaning. Then her voice lifted and she hissed, speaking slowly while her eyes narrowed, looking at Ralph. Then she snorted, speaking very fast, shouting. ‘MON DIEU! Blah blah, snort! Jacques, yak yak, MERDE!’ she roared.

  Ralph nodded slowly, never taking his eyes off her, then I interrupted, saying, ‘Ralph!’

  He looked over for a second, then whipped his eyes back, wanting to catch what she was saying.

  ‘Right,’ I said to the fresh air, walking over to pick up my tobacco. ‘I am going to get changed for bed.’

  He nodded, saying nothing, then focused back on Madame Butterfly.

  I walked out of the room a
nd headed up the stairs, feeling my whole world had just collapsed around me. Then I undressed and put on my dressing gown, heading for the bathroom. ‘A long soak in a hot bath will do me good,’ I sighed, trying to cheer myself up.

  I brushed out my hair, plaiting it, then pinned it at the back of my head and put on a fresh pair of pyjamas and the dressing gown. Then I slipped on my leather slippers and sat down by the window. My eyes lit on the tobacco and I rolled one up, taking a long pull of the smoke, dragging it deep down into my lungs. Then I stretched out my legs, feeling the softness of the silk soothing against my warm dry skin. ‘That’s better,’ I sighed. It’s grand being lovely and clean, now I feel much more relaxed.

  I let my eyes wander around the room, resting them on the shadows of the trees, watching as they danced up and down the walls after finding their way into the darkest corners of the room. So, Martha, it looks like there’s trouble ahead. She might have been around before me but suddenly she is making an all-out effort to get her hands on him. Row, my arse! She knew what she was doing. Maybe she was certainly interested in Ralph before but she was playing for time. Now she sees he’s suddenly involved with someone and she’s straight in for the kill. Where better, then, to get him than right under his own roof. She sees him as a serious challenge now, particularly as he’s shown he’s actually interested in a woman. Up until now he was just a priest on sabbatical. Yeah, and she doesn’t see me as much competition. I would be a joke to her. We may be around the same age but I am a country hick by comparison. So what an evil bitch, she takes what she wants and lives a life of self-indulgence. Sex and men are her forte. They fill the emptiness in her. She will dump Ralph for a better proposition after she grows bored with him.

  I know he’s not interested. He sees her for what she is. As he said, she’s shallow. She’s got very little going for her, so she has to get by on her looks. But nonetheless, that woman has seduction down to a fine art. She could, and will, find a way to bring him to heel. So the question is what to do about it, Martha? This woman is a very serious threat.