The Secrets of Ice Cream Success

by AD Hartley

  ‘I think the phrase you’re looking for is competitors.’ Carlo said.

  ‘In the confectionary business.’ Abi added.

  Ben looked unconvinced. ‘Mortal enemies is much cooler.’ he said, ‘Especially when you hate each other.’

  ‘I don’t hate him!’ Carlo said, ‘Why do I have to hate anyone? I don’t even know him!’

  ‘Well, he certainly seems to hate you.’ Vicky joined in. ‘Perhaps Ben is right, perhaps Herbert is your, err…’

  ‘Mortal Enemy.’ Ben supplied, vindicated.

  ‘Don’t humour him, Vik, please.’ Abi said shaking her head as they set off towards the house, Ben bringing up the rear with hands raised in victory.

  As Carlo lay in his bed that night reflecting on the day’s events he tried to make a list of the main points in his head, something that Randy had told him was a good way of remembering details when there was a lot going on.

  Firstly, he had a girlfriend. Of this Abi was sure, though Carlo himself couldn’t see how she came to this conclusion. Apparently the now arranged cinema date was all that was required and Vicky herself had certainly seemed very happy, holding his hand and smiling lots as they were leaving the party, something Norton defined as “Acting Weird”, Abi as “Showing an interest” and Ben as “Flirting”.

  He also had a “Nemesis”, a word he didn’t really understand but which had been supplied by Newton during a brief phone call to enquire on his health and update him on the happenings at the party. Carlo took it to be a posh way of saying “Mortal Enemy” after Newton had used various examples to describe the role, including but not limited to Megatron & Optimus Prime, He-Man & Skeletor and Newton’s Mum & Mrs Jenkins from two doors down who was apparently “so nosy it wouldn’t be a surprise if her large conk got trapped in her front door one of these days” so often was she peeking through it to spy on people.

  And finally, he had a haunted factory. This was certain now and whilst the party may have temporarily driven this fact from the minds of his friends, Carlo couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling that had settled in his stomach. Backwards clocks, vicious books and freezing cold rooms were one thing, but the shouting was new and unnerving and not just because it was supernatural. The problem was; Carlo recognised the voice… It was his Father’s.

  Cockroach Ripple

  Carlo looked at the mess on the ceiling but didn’t say a thing. He waited whilst Lumsden and Norton shuffled guiltily on the spot.

  ‘Look… it wasn’t really our faul…’

  ‘Shh!’ Carlo interrupted Norton, putting his finger to his lips. ‘Just stay right there.’

  ‘But…’

  ‘Ah ah… just wait…’

  A large portion of the ice cream that had hit the roof at high velocity just minutes before had now melted enough to dislodge itself from the metal ceiling grates and fall with satisfying accuracy on to Norton and Lumsden’s heads.

  ‘That’s better.’ Carlo continued with a contented nod in their direction, as the cold dessert dripped down their hair, necks and faces. ‘So now you can tell me how ejecting an entire mixer of my ice cream at high speed into the ceiling, isn’t your fault?’

  ‘I just wanted to see inside it, so Lumsden gave me a leg up and I dropped the spanner in by mistake. It wasn’t my fau…’

  ‘Why were you even holding a spanner? You’re supposed to be in the offices learning HR!’ Carlo asked, but Norton was too busy trying to suck the ice cream running down his nose into his mouth to answer.

  ‘Just get this cleaned up before Lucy sees it!’ Carlo shouted, patience running out. ‘And Lumsden, you will never ever give anyone a leg up to see into the machines again, unless you are planning to drop them in entirely!’ he finished, looking meaningfully at Norton, who paused with his tongue hanging out, ice cream dripping onto it.

  Unfortunately for Carlo, the morning didn’t get any better. Randy had been giving the new drivers some instruction on handling the large ice cream vans in the main factory yard and some overzealous parking from the two Peacock siblings had left their vans in rather a bad state with cosmetic repairs required before they could be used again.

  ‘How could you not see each other reversing into the same spot?’ Carlo heard Randy shouting at the brother and sister, who immediately started defending their case and pushing blame upon the other with various exclamations and hand gestures.

  The following day Carlo almost ended up firing Ben and Norton after they were dragged into Randy’s office by Lucy Lightfoot who explained the two had been chasing each other around the factory resulting in Norton slipping and crashing headlong into boxes of wafer cones, destroying a large portion of the stock. Carlo had shouted a little. Randy joined in and shouted some more. Lucy shouted the loudest of them all, then just as Carlo was ready to shout some more, a thought occurred to him. Hadn’t he been scolded for the exact same thing once upon a time when running through the factory?

  ‘Please be more careful in future.’ he finished, feeling weary.

  Lucy looked unsatisfied and moved to continue the lecture at high volume, but Carlo stood and cut her off.

  ‘It’s past 4pm. You two can go now. See you tomorrow.’ Carlo finished, throwing Lucy a meaningful glance to keep her quiet. Norton looked happy as he strode out of the office, any guilt from the telling off immediately being replaced by thoughts of home and tea time. Ben at least had the grace to look apologetic as he followed Norton from the room.

  ‘Sorry, mate.’ he said, turning back at the door. ‘Won’t happen again.’

  ‘I know.’ Carlo answered, fully aware that despite best intentions it was unlikely to be the last time something like this happened.

  Any hope that Carlo had of Newton and Abi proving better employees were dashed over the course of the week as Carlo learned that Newton had taken it upon himself to rewrite the sales plan, expanding the reach from local counties and incorporating an aggressive assault on the American, European and Australian market, with a possible foray into Nepal included because he’d always wanted to visit. Had he not accidentally overwritten the original sales plan in the process, this may have been overlooked.

  In the meantime Abi had spent almost four days working on one marketing design, a complex and psychedelic watercolour with a strange unicorn motif showing inverted horns designed to look like ice-cream cones protruding from their heads and the declaration “Leodoni’s Ice Cream is Back” boldly announced across the top. It was a work of wonder, a masterpiece in many respects, but entirely unsuitable for use as a newspaper advertisement and short of the five simple but effective, text only adverts she’d been asked to produce just to get people talking about Leodoni’s again.

  As Carlo, Lucy and Randy sat down to review the week’s progress that Friday, more tales of accidents and mistakes came to light and it was quite obvious that they were woefully behind schedule with the launch date only two weeks away.

  Carlo looked up and cringed as Randy finished relaying an explanation of the small fire that had occurred on Wednesday when Apor, the Hungarian handy man had somehow managed to set his own trousers alight, a story that was in itself not that bad when compared to the other mistakes and accidents that had befallen the factory during the last week.

  ‘It’s a disaster!’ Carlo moaned before Lucy could continue describing how an entire order of raspberry sauce had arrived as chilli sauce.

  ‘It’s teething problems.’ Lucy suggested.

  ‘No, no… it’s pretty bad.’ Randy said, rubbing his temple. We are very much behind schedule. The new staff are untrained and many of them may need to be replaced.

  Carlo wasn’t used to hearing Randy sound so negative. It was worrying and darkened his mood even further. ‘I’ll tell the guys they better not come back in next week, shall I?’ he asked, not looking forward to firing his four best friends.

  ‘Not at all, we’re going to need them!’ Randy replied. ‘There are three weeks before you all return to school and the launch is in just
two weeks. There’s a lot to be done and despite the, err… mishaps, we will need all the help we can get if we’re going to pull this off.’

  ‘And there’s the town fair.’ Lucy added, absently flicking though her notes.

  ‘The what?’

  ‘The town fair.’ she answered Carlo. ‘Didn’t you know about it?’

  ‘Oh, heck! I forgot about that.’ Randy said, looking shocked.

  ‘What’s the town fair?’

  ‘It used to take place every year. Didn’t your Dad ever take you?’ Randy asked. Carlo shook his head. ‘Well I guess you were too young. There hasn’t been one for quite a while.’

  ‘The thing is,’ Lucy continued, ‘it will be a major money earner, especially if the weather is good. So we need to be there as ready as we can.’

  ‘OK,’ Carlo sighed, ‘when is it?’

  ‘29th.’ Lucy answered.

  ‘But that’s the last weekend of the summer holidays!’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘In three weeks?’

  ‘Yes.’

  Carlo swore.

  ‘Carlo! Mind your language!’ Randy said.

  The gang wandered down the high street, Norton scuffing his feet in the dust whilst Ben absently tried to stamp on his friend’s untied laces dragging behind him. Abi and Newton seemed too tired to make much conversation and Carlo himself just looked mournful as they ambled along in the sun.

  Randy had insisted the gang shouldn’t come into the factory on weekends throughout the summer, but as the launch drew ever closer Carlo found himself thinking more on the goings on at the factory than he did about enjoying what was left of the holidays and today none of the group were in the mood to enjoy the last of the holiday weather.

  ‘I should resign!’ Newton said for the fourth time, still rankled by his mistake with the documents. ‘I don’t delete files accidentally. I just don’t! I don’t know what I was thinking!’ he continued, mainly to himself having realised that the others had given up listening some time ago, all lost in their own misgivings.

  ‘I’m hungry.’ Norton said, to no response. ‘I said, I’m hungry!’ he repeated.

  ‘We had ice cream half an hour ago.’ Ben said, incredulous.

  ‘S’not my fault; my Mam says I’ve got a high metal-ball-ism.’

  ‘Metabolism.’ corrected Newton.

  ‘Yeah, one of those things. It makes me hungry.’

  ‘I saw a program once where there was this man in space who landed on a weird planet and there was an alien and it laid an egg inside the man and he ended up with a parasite inside him and he was hungry all the time and had to keep eating!’ Ben exclaimed. ‘So metabolism is like a parasite, yeah?’

  ‘No.’ Newton answered simply.

  ‘Oh.’ said Ben and Norton, both clearly disappointed.

  ‘Would’ve explained everything.’ Ben sniffed returning to trying to trip Norton up by standing on his shoe laces. A few moments passed…

  ‘I’m hungry!’ Norton repeated to groans from the others.

  ‘None of us are your mother, Norton. If you’re hungry, eat something.’ Abi answered.

  ‘I haven’t got any money. Ben can you lend me…’

  ‘Don’t look at me.’ Ben quickly answered.

  ‘Nor me.’ Newton added.

  ‘How much do you want?’ Carlo asked sighed.

  Feeding Norton was a group activity during the holidays despite the common knowledge that he received the most pocket money. But as Norton’s Mum kept them all in sweets, which she stockpiled in huge amounts, they accepted the occasional need to feed her son.

  ‘Just enough for a burger!’

  ‘I don’t know what you do with your money!’ Abi said, shaking her head as Carlo handed over a five pound note.

  ‘I do.’ said Ben, mimicking eating a large burger as Norton skipped across the road to a take-away shop.

  ‘And bring me the change!’ Carlo shouted after him.

  The group meandered slowly on through the town leisurely enough for Norton to catch them once he had finished his food, but he seemed to appear much quicker than expected, running after them with a half-eaten burger in one hand, tomato sauce smudged over is mouth and the pained expression of someone who had just swallowed too much food too quickly.

  ‘Guys!’ he wheezed, thumping his chest, trying to dislodge his un-chewed burger. ‘Guys!’

  ‘What?’ Ben asked.

  Norton held up is hand asking for time and pointed to his throat. ‘Hang on…’ he mouthed

  Ben rolled his eyes. ‘Take your time.’

  Norton bent over at the waist, a fairly modest feat, and made some strange gargling coughing noises forcing Abi to thump him unceremoniously on the back out of pity, or possibly disgust, dislodging the blockage and allowing an exhalation of breath that sounded suspiciously like a swear word. Ben handed him the remainder of the lemonade he’d been carrying and Norton took a grateful swig. ‘Thanks.’ he gasped, and then remembering his hurry he continued apace. ‘Guys! Guys!’ he said.

  ‘You already have our attention, Norton.’ Abi pointed out. ‘What is it?’

  ‘Oh, yeah, right. Well, you know that man that Carlo told us that Randy had told him that Lucy had said couldn’t work at the factory ‘coz he already had a better job?’

  Newton, Abi and Ben looked blank, but Carlo nodded. ‘Neil, you mean?’

  ‘Yeah, him. Right, well… you’ll never guess who’s working at the take-away!’

  ‘Ooh, let me guess… ’ Ben asked sarcastically.

  ‘That can’t be right.’ Carlo said, walking back towards the take-away. ‘Randy said Neil had a good job at the car factory outside town.’

  The gang headed back to the shop and peaked through the window. Sure enough Neil was there serving a customer.

  ‘Perhaps he didn’t want to come back to the factory?’ Ben said as they moved away from the window.

  ‘And work here instead?’ Abi said. ‘I doubt it.’

  ‘And why would he tell Lucy he was working at the car factory if he was here all the time?’ Newton asked.

  Carlo looked despondent. ‘Well, I don’t know why he said that, but I wish he had come back. We could do with him.’ he added. ‘Do you think I should go and talk to him?’

  ‘I don’t know’ Abi mused,’ if he didn’t want to come back then he won’t want you asking questions, Carlo. Why don’t you mention it to Randy? He’ll know what to do.

  ‘If I see him.’ Carlo said. ‘He didn’t get back home till really late last night and headed off before breakfast this morning.’

  The following Monday morning Carlo stepped off his bike at the factory expecting to see Randy’s car parked in the yard as normal. He had been unusually absent from home over the weekend and Carlo hadn’t had the opportunity to talk to him, so when he had awoken to see the car gone already Carlo had decided to head to the factory early assuming Randy would be there and they could talk before everyone else arrived for work. However as he unlocked the smaller entrance hatch within the main gate it was obvious Carlo was the first one there.

  Disappointed, he entered the factory and made his way to the office he shared with Randy, rushing the last few steps as he heard the phone start to ring. He fumbled with the keys to unlock the door and made it to the desk in time to say ‘Hel…’ when he heard the caller hang up at the other end.

  ‘Damn.’ he said, replacing the receiver and looking around the office. There was paper everywhere, unwashed coffee cups and the general feel that the room had been well used over the weekend, which didn’t bode well. He was just about to start tidying up the mess when the phone rang again.

  ‘Randy? Are you there?’ a voice asked before Carlo even had a chance to say hello.

  ‘No it’s me, Carlo.’ he replied recognising Lucy’s voice.

  ‘Oh, right.’ she said, ‘I hoped it was Randy when I heard a voice as I hung up. Where is he?’

  ‘Don’t know. I’m the first in.’ There was a pause
at the other end and Carlo got the feeling Lucy was anxious about something.

  ‘Oh… right. Well, I’ll be in later anyway, so I’ll talk to him then. OK, Bye, Carlo.’

  ‘Wait! Wait… Hello?’ Carlo shouted, now concerned at Lucy’s tone. ‘Lucy?’

  ‘Hi, yes?’

  ‘What’s wrong? You sound like there’s a problem.’

  ‘Nothing. There’s nothing wrong, well… not really. Well, actually, err…OK, perhaps you should talk to Randy about this. I’m sure he’ll be there soon.’

  ‘Talk to him about what? What’s going on?’

  ‘I can’t really say, Carlo!’ Lucy continued, starting to sound more stressed, but Carlo was beginning to lose patience.

  ‘Can’t say? Lucy, you’re the Operations Manager and this is my factory! Tell me what is going on!’ he shouted.

  There was a pause at the other end as a clearly surprised Lucy gathered herself. ‘You don’t half sound like your Dad when you do that.’ she replied, sounding both taken aback and a little proud. ‘But you’re right. It’s your factory and you should know. The issue is that Randy found a suspicious ingredient in one of the batches. I don’t know how much you know about what was going on here just before your Dad passed away, but this is serious Carlo. Talk to Randy as soon as he comes in. I’ll be there later.’

  Lucy hung up without saying goodbye, leaving Carlo holding the receiver as a feeling of unease crept over him. After fetching a can of fizzy pop from the vending machine, Carlo returned to the office and sat down waiting for Randy. The idea of “suspicious ingredients” in the factory was not a pleasant one given the history of the company and he now understood why Randy had been absent for a few days as he would be devastated to learn of another incident like this having been so close to an official investigation around the time of Luigi’s death.

  Carlo knew that whatever the truth behind this new situation, it was highly unlikely there could be any link to his father and the secret he revealed to Carlo that fateful day, yet he couldn’t help feel as if the past was unravelling itself all across his ice cream factory. Surely… surely there couldn’t be a link?