Seeing Forever

by Vanessa Devereaux

  Luc fell back flat on the bed. Feeling like more a loser than he had before, he’d tried to end it all. At least the upside was he probably wouldn’t come down with a cold.

  “I read the letter,” said Josie, squeezing his hand.

  Oh, shit … the letter.

  He hadn’t expected to be around when his sister read it. For the first time in his life, he’d spilled his heart out about everything: their mother’s death, the explosion that took his sight, and how he felt about Josie.

  “It was touching, and yes, I cried. I would have cried even more had those not been vitamin C pills.”

  She kissed him on the forehead. “Do you know how much I’d miss you if you weren’t around?”

  “I know it was selfish, but I don’t think I can live the rest of my life like this.”

  “Luc, you can have surgery.”

  “I can’t have my full eyesight back, and that’s all I want.”

  “Maybe not, but you’ll see more than you can now. That’s a step in the right direction.”

  “Didn’t you hear what the doctor said? There’s a risk that the operation could make things worse. And you know how hospitals scare me.”

  “We take a risk every time we get out of bed, each time we cross the road. The bottom line is life’s a risk, Luc.”

  He put his hand on his forehead. How did his life get to be so messed up and complicated? He’d been in the wrong place at the wrong time and been hit by shrapnel. The two other soldiers who’d been with him had lost their lives. At the time he’d thought he was the lucky one, but lately he’d been thinking they’d been blessed not to have to live with the injuries.

  “Don’t tell anyone else about this?” he said.

  “What, that my brother’s an idiot and tried to kill himself with vitamins?”

  Luc thought Josie made it sound worse than it actually was.

  “This is just between the two of us, but if you ever try something like this again I’ll have you committed.”

  If he tried this again, next time he’d make sure it was foolproof.

  “Now, Mitchell and Jake phoned and said they should be here with your dog in about twenty minutes, so let’s get you downstairs, and don’t be grumpy.”

  “To them or the dog?”

  Luc sat up. He knew his army buddies were only trying to help, but a dog was the last thing he needed right now. He could hardly take care of himself, let alone a canine.

  “And the dog trainer will be arriving too, along with the lady who handles all the paperwork.”

  Luc’s head buzzed with everything his sister was telling him. No one had told him about a dog trainer. He’d basically been living as a recluse since he’d left the army hospital. He barely ventured outside because he didn’t want people staring, asking questions, or worse yet, taking pity on him. Josie had been his only connection to the outside world. And now four people, and a dog, would all be descending upon him in one shot.

  “Let’s get you tidied up and we’ll go downstairs, make some coffee, and then wait for everyone to arrive.”

  She helped Luc off the bed and put her arm around his waist. He must have fallen asleep after taking all the tablets and assumed he was drifting into a coma, when all the time he was just dead on his feet. He hadn’t slept well the night before so right now all he wanted to do was stay in his room, but he knew Josie wouldn’t let him do it.

  His sister walked him to the door.

  “I guess you won’t need me to buy you any oranges or orange juice for a few weeks,” she said.

  Josie definitely had inherited their mother’s dry wit.

  ****

  Katey pulled up to the curb and checked the piece of paper where she’d written down the address for Luc Frasier. Jake had told her to be at the house around four o’clock. 7892, that was the number written on the mailbox, and two cars and a truck sat in the driveway. She’d met Jake and Gen two months ago, but had butterflies in her stomach about meeting Luc. She didn’t want to say or do the wrong thing.

  Glancing in the rearview mirror, she gave her appearance one last check.

  She got out of the car and headed across the road while sliding her tongue over her lips. They always got dry when she was nervous. She stood on the doorstep and rang the doorbell. A dog barked. She guessed it was Willow, and through the glass panel in the center of the front door, she saw someone approaching.

  A middle-aged lady with red hair answered it and smiled at her.

  “I’m guessing that you’re Katey.”

  She nodded.

  “Come on in. I’m Sadie Sutton.”

  Jake had mentioned her to Katey.

  “The lady from the dog placement agency.”

  “Well, sort of. Oh, and before I forget … I have a form here for you to sign. It just says that you agree to help Luc with Willow.”

  Sadie pulled it out of her pocket and also a pen with a huge white feather on the end. Not your usual everyday writing instrument, but nevertheless Katey took it and the sheet of paper. She noticed that Luc had already signed his name. She scribbled hers underneath it.

  “I think you two are going to be perfect together,” said Sadie, taking back the pen and paper.

  “I hope so, because this is my first time doing this sort of thing.”

  Sadie put her hand on Katey’s arm and for some strange reason she suddenly felt more relaxed about the situation. “You’re going to do just fine. Now why don’t we go through here and you can meet Luc.”

  Katey followed Sadie to a screened-in porch at the back of the house, where she heard men’s voices. Willow ran straight over to her and nuzzled against her thigh.

  “Hi buddy, it’s so good to see you again.” She scratched behind the dog’s ears.

  Jake stood, walked over to her and gave her a hug.

  “Great to see you again, and thanks for doing this for Luc,” he said. “Oh, and Gen sent you some peanut butter cookies.”

  “That’s nice of her. I’m supposed to be on a diet, but I guess one or two won’t hurt.”

  “And this is my buddy Mitchell.”

  A tall, dark-haired man approached her and shook her hand.

  “And most important, let me introduce you to Luc,” said Jake.

  Katey followed him across the room where the best-looking man she’d ever seen sat looking straight ahead. He had a scar above one eye, but that didn’t spoil his looks in any way. He was broad-shouldered, and although he was sitting down she guessed he was over six feet tall. He ran his hand though his wavy brown hair as she approached him.

  “Luc, Katey Hopkins is here. Katey, this is Luc.”

  He held up his hand and at first Katey wasn’t quite sure what to do, as he was waving it around so much. Should she help him by grabbing it, or extend hers out and hope that he found it?

  Luckily Jake stepped in and got hold of both their hands and joined them together.

  “Hi Luc, I’m looking forward to working with you,” she said.

  “I’m not sure if it’s going to do me any good, but thanks for offering to help.”

  “Hey, what did I say about staying positive? Katey’s just what you need. I mean she and Willow are just what you need,” said Jake. He slapped Luc on the shoulder.

  Sadie walked over and held their hands together a little longer. “I know both of you are nervous about this arrangement, but I know it’s going to work out. So no matter how tough it gets, stick with it.”

  Katey nodded as Sadie smiled at her. She hadn’t known the woman long, but for some reason what she’d said made perfect sense.

  “I have to be getting back to my office, but I’ll stop by soon to see how the two of you are getting on…I mean you and Willow,” she said. Wait a minute, had Sadie just winked at Jake? Katey had the feeling all was not as it seemed.

  “Why don’t I walk you out while Katey and Luc get to know one another some more,” said Jake.

  Now that both he and Mitchell, and even Willow, had momentarily
left with Sadie, she was suddenly tongue-tied, which wasn’t that unusual because she’d always been shy around strangers.

  “You can sit down if you want. I got the feeling you were standing there wondering what to do,” said Luc.

  “Thanks.” She sat on the couch but more silence followed.

  “So, you from around this way?” asked Luc, tapping his fingers on the edge of the chair.

  “Yes, over on the west side of town. How about you?”

  “Yeah, born and raised in Boise.”

  There was silence again. Katey crossed her legs.

  “I like your perfume.”

  Phew, what a relief, he’d finally said something because she hadn’t been able to think of a damn thing, other than a comment about what nice weather it had been the last couple of days.

  “It was my mom’s favorite.”

  In fact, it was still her exact bottle of perfume that Katey had kept and used sparingly, hoping it would last forever. Each time she wore it she’d think of her mom and the day would suddenly seem a whole lot better.

  “I notice smells more since I lost my sight.”

  “Yes, I’d heard that blind…”

  Shit, I’ve only been here ten minutes and I’ve already said the wrong thing.

  “It’s okay to say that blind people use their other senses more … don’t be afraid to use the word around me.”

  “Have you adjusted okay?”

  He shrugged his shoulders. “Obviously not, because that’s why everyone thinks I need a service dog.”

  “Willow’s great. We did some training together when I went to Idaho Falls to see Jake and Gen.”

  “Yeah, Jake mentioned it to me.”

  “He’s a nice guy.”

  “Yeah, one of the best. I’m glad he found Gen. I know it was hard for him when his wife died.”

  Katey nodded and then there was the uncomfortable silence again.

  Luc continued to tap the chair. She noticed his long fingers and the beautiful shape of his hands. She was staring and that was rude at any time, but even worse when someone couldn’t see that you were checking them out. Katey sighed of relief when the two guys and Willow returned to the porch.

  “So, Katey, what time do you think you can start tomorrow?” asked Jake.

  “Whenever you need me.”

  “Mitchell has to leave for the airport at eleven. I’m going to drive him there and then head straight home, so how about ten and we can get an hour’s training in?”

  “Sure. Sounds good to me.”

  “Perfect,” said Jake.

  Katey stood. “Well, I guess I should be going but I’m looking forward to working with Willow, and you too, Luc.”

  She reached out to shake his hand again. Stupid me. I have to get used to the fact he can’t see what I’m doing.

  She took the lead this time and lifted up his hand and squeezed it. He squeezed it back, which made her legs tingle. There was something about those fingers and his touch that excited her.

  “I’ll walk you to your car,” said Jake.

  He led her through to the hallway and then opened the front door. They stepped outside.

  “He must already like you because he was in a foul mood before you arrived. He’s feeling a bit sorry for himself, so if he’s ever down just ignore him, okay? Because he’s one of the best guys around.”

  Katey nodded. “I think I would be, too. I can’t imagine what it’s like to suddenly lose your sight.”

  “We’re trying to talk him into going in for eye surgery.”

  “So they can restore his sight?”

  “Not all of it, but the doctor feels confident he’d see about eighty percent in the right eye. If you can, try and talk him into it, okay?”

  “I’ll give it a shot.”

  “I know you two are going to be perfect for one another. I mean as a team, working with Willow.”

  “I hope I don’t let you down, because I’d like you to keep me in mind for other dog training assignments in Boise.”

  “I’ll do that, but right now your focus needs to be on Luc, okay?”

  She nodded. “Sure … and I’ll see you at tomorrow at ten.”

  She got in her car and started the ignition as Jake walked back to the house.

  She smelled her wrist where she’d sprayed some of the perfume from her mother. Ruth hated it and said it gave her a headache. Luc had picked up on it. He’d liked it too. She glanced back at the house and saw Jake with Willow. She waved to him before pulling away from the curb.

  Chapter Three

  Luc outlined his palm with his finger. Katey had soft hands, and he’d actually felt something come alive in him the second she’d touched him. What that something was he wasn’t quite sure, because he’d never experienced anything like it. Maybe it was his libido coming back to life. After all, he’d been without a woman, without sex, since the incident.

  Even her perfume had made him sit up and take notice. He didn’t know why, but something about her touch and smell told him she was pretty.

  Why was he even thinking about her and the way she looked? Was he looking at the future? Yeah, that was dumb.

  Katey would be hanging out while she trained Willow to assist him, but after all that was over, what and who did he have, and who did he have to fantasize about? He couldn’t go out on the town by himself, spot a pretty girl and ask her out. He’d live in this house in his own private hell. He might have fouled up today’s suicide attempt, but he wouldn’t next time.

  He suddenly heard footsteps in the room. He hated the fact that anyone could sneak up on him when he least expected it and invade even his private thinking time.

  “Mitchell and I are going to take you out for a meal.” It was Jake, and then he felt the dog’s hot breath on his leg. He reached out to pat Willow’s head.

  “Let’s eat in. I don’t feel sitting in a restaurant.”

  “You can do that when we’re gone, but tonight, it’s a buddies reunion.”

  “You and Mitchell can go if you want.”

  “Nope … you’re coming with us, even if we have to drag you there.”

  “Look, Jake. I know what you’re trying to do, but I don’t want people looking at me, pointing at me without me knowing it…I just don’t, okay.” He didn’t mean to raise his voice at Jake, but getting other people to understand how he felt was growing more frustrating by the day.

  Luc heard more footsteps.

  “Can you believe this guy? He’s giving me a hard time … doesn’t want to go out to eat,” said Jake. “Looks we’ll have to carry him out to my truck.”

  “That can’t be true. You always loved a great meal and a cold beer,” said Mitchell.

  “That was my old life,” said Luc, wishing they’d chosen to stay in a hotel overnight rather than with him. He loved his two buddies, but everyone was getting so fucking irritating, he was considering kicking their asses out the door. Well, that was if his boot could find their butts.

  “I know what it’s like,” said Mitchell. “How I was with my leg, hiding from everyone, but it’s not worth being miserable and making everyone else’s life hell along with your own.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry if I’m not being great company, but maybe the two of you should book into a hotel with a nightclub for the evening. Or better yet, drive home.”

  Luc felt a strong grip on his shoulder but didn’t know if it was Mitchell or Jake.

  “You’re pissed as hell and we both get it. Mitchell had his injury and surgery, and I had my wife’s death to cope with, but none of this pain lasts forever,” said Jake. His vise-like grip turned to a friendly pat.

  “Blindness is forever,” said Luc.

  “You can have an operation,” said Mitchell.

  “I don’t want the fucking surgery, okay? And if someone else ever mentions it I’ll do my best to find something to throw at them.” He stood and tried to make his way out of the room but forgot where the coffee table was and fell face down onto the
carpet.

  He stayed there, waiting for one or both of them to pick him up, but they didn’t. Instead the dog licked his face. At least you could always count on an animal for support.

  Luc patted his head. “And what am I going to do with this furry creature?”

  “He’s going to be your best buddy,” said Jake.

  “How am I supposed to look after a dog when I fall on my ass just walking out of a room?”

  “That’s why I asked Katey to help you. By the way, she’s very pretty.”

  He was betting that Jake and Mitchell had exchanged glances after that last comment. He knew his two army pals pretty well.

  And Jake’s comment had confirmed what he’d thought: that she was, in fact, pretty. Like any guy, he’d always had an eye for an attractive female, but now he couldn’t even appreciate a woman’s beauty.

  “And you tell me this because, what, you want to torment me?” asked Luc, struggling to his feet.

  “No, because you might want to take her out sometime, like on a date,” said Jake.

  “Yeah, right, like a pretty girl, or any girl for that matter, would want to date a blind man?”

  “You do remember what a great-looking guy you are, or is your memory that short?” asked Mitchell.

  He’d heard enough. Luc felt his way over to the door and was relieved when he found himself finally out in the hallway.

  “Hope you’re going to your room to get ready to hit the town,” Jake called after him.

  “You guys you just won’t give up, will you?” Luc shouted back.

  “Nope … so hurry up, because I’m starving,” said Mitchell.

  Luc couldn’t fight them any longer. He’d go and get it over with. They meant well, he knew that, but meaning well wasn’t enough anymore. He wanted his full sight back, along with his old life, and nothing less would ever do.

  Chapter Four

  Katey had gone straight to her room as soon as she’d gotten home. She knew her step-mother hated that Katey been forced to move back home and steal some of her father’s attention. She didn’t like it any more than Ruth did. When her father wasn’t around to defuse the tension between her and her stepmom, she mostly retreated to her room until she heard her dad’s car pulling into the garage.