Seeing Forever

by Vanessa Devereaux

  She sat on her bed and reached over to the cabinet for the mystery she was halfway through. She began reading, but for some reason couldn’t concentrate.

  That was a lie. She knew perfectly well why she couldn’t focus on the book, or anything else, for that matter. Since she’d left his house, all she’d been able to think about was Luc.

  He’d looked sad, but she couldn’t blame him for that. Katey couldn’t imagine what it would be like to be injured like that and for the world to suddenly go dark on you.

  And oh yes, he was cute too. She’d always had a weakness for guys with dark wavy hair and blue eyes. Not that it had done her much good. Most of them wouldn’t even think about talking to her, let alone asking her out, because she didn’t fit the skinny model mold.

  It would be an hour or more before supper, so Katey pulled out a couple of the peanut butter cookies Gen had sent for her. Yeah, she knew this wouldn’t help the scale go any lower, but all of a sudden she was nervous about tomorrow and working with Luc. When she got into that state of mind, she ate.

  The cookie literally melted on her tongue and she instantly felt better. Maybe she could volunteer to walk Willow for Luc and work off some of the calories.

  ****

  Luc fingered the binding around the corner of his menu. Is this ridiculous or what? Hadn’t the hostess noticed that the two guys with him had literally guided him to the table because he couldn’t see? But she’d still put a fucking menu in front of him. He pushed it away.

  “You want me to read the menu to you?” asked Jake.

  “Nope, I know what I’m having. A steak, baked potato, and tossed salad. And a beer.”

  The last thing he wanted was for people in the restaurant overhearing the guys reading out every item on the menu like he was a little kid. To make his point, he shoved the menu away some more, but then heard something fall, followed by a cold liquid dripping onto his leg.

  “Shit, what have I done?”

  “It’s okay, no problem,” said Mitchell. One of the guys dabbed a napkin across his thighs.

  “It’s only water. We’ve all done it at some point,” said Jake.

  Yeah, when we were kids.

  “Shit, now it’s going to look like I peed my pants,” said Luc, dabbing it some more.

  “It’ll be dry before you get up,” said Mitchell.

  “Good evening, boys, and how are we doing?” It was a woman’s voice and Luc assumed her to be the waitress.

  “We’re doing okay, but thirsty,” said Jake. “Three beers would be great to start us off. And how about a plate of the nachos for the three of us to share.”

  “I’ll get those beers for you and be right back.”

  “Did Mitchell tell you he’s going to be a dad?” asked Jake.

  “No. Congratulations!”

  “Yeah, we’re pretty excited about it,” said Mitchell.

  And the evening’s just going downhill from here.

  Luc had always envisioned himself with a wife and at least one kid by the time he was thirty-five. Now that seemed like an impossible dream. What woman would want to take on a blind man and have a child with someone who couldn’t help look after it? Hell, he could hardly look after himself these days.

  He took a deep breath, feeling bitterness and jealousy when he should have been happy for his friend.

  “There you go, guys, and the nachos will be up in about five minutes.”

  “You need some help with the beer?” asked Jake.

  “Just direct me to the glass,” said Luc. Even when he had his sight there’d been nothing like a nice beer to dull pain.

  Jake lifted Luc’s hand and placed it on top of the glass. The nurse had shown him an easy way to grab a mug and bring it up to his mouth, but he was still trying to get the hang of it. He raised it up and hoped he was heading in the right direction. When his lips touched the glass he sipped. Man, beer had never felt so good sliding down his throat. Maybe it was because he had to put so much effort into drinking it.

  “So, what did you think of Katey?” asked Jake. “You two seemed to be having a nice chat when I walked into the room.”

  “She seemed okay. I’m guessing she’s on the shy side,” said Luc. He secretly wished he could have seen what she looked like, if she was as pretty as he assumed. Sure, he could ask the guys to describe her, but he didn’t want them to think he was interested in her…any woman, for that matter. Dating and sex were things in his past.

  “I think she is quiet, but then once she gets to know you she opens up more. She helped Gen out with one of her garden designs when she was visiting and she said they chatted non-stop.”

  “There you go, guys, your nachos. You ready to order your entrees?” asked the waitress.

  “Sure. I’ll have the surf and turf,” said Jake.

  “T-bone steak and fries for me,” said Mitchell.

  “And for you, sweetie?”

  Luc assumed since the other guys had ordered that she was talking to him. “Steak, baked potato, and a tossed salad.”

  “Okay. I’ll get those orders started, and enjoy the nachos.”

  “I’m putting some of these nachos on a plate in front of you,” said Mitchell. “And be careful … they’re piping hot.”

  Luc lifted up his hand and felt in front of him, almost burning his hand on the melted cheese.

  “Um, um, these are great,” said Jake. “And before I forget to tell you, Gen sent you three casseroles that I’ve put in the freezer. They just needed defrosting and warming in the microwave. Maybe you can ask Katey to do it and stay for dinner one night.”

  “She’s probably got better things to do than babysit me all day and evening. Like maybe go out with her boyfriend,” said Luc. He sensed he’d dropped something down the front of his shirt and hated to think what he was going to look like when he’d finished eating.

  “No boyfriend, so don’t be scared about asking her to dinner or even asking her out if you want,” said Jake.

  Maybe he was being paranoid…maybe.

  “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were trying to pair us up or something,” said Luc.

  He actually felt Jake kick Mitchell.

  “I’m blind, but I can still feel movement under tables. And I’m betting that you’re both pulling faces right now.”

  “Just because you’ve lost your sight doesn’t mean you can’t date ever again,” said Mitchell.

  “So what’s wrong with Katey?” asked Luc.

  “Absolutely nothing,” said Jake. “That’s why if you want to ask her out…”

  Luc slapped his hand down, hoping he was making contact with one of the guy’s arms. Instead he’d slapped one of their plates of nachos. His hand was now covered in cheese and what felt like refried beans.

  “Is this what this is all about with the dog and her training him? She’s been told to take pity on me. Maybe go out on a few dates, boost my confidence, and then gradually dump me?”

  “We didn’t say that,” said Jake. “Not at all.”

  “Okay, then just be quiet. Or talk about football, or something besides me asking Katey or any other female out, okay?”

  Not that he wouldn’t want to go on a date with a woman who smelled that good or had the softest hands, but he didn’t want his heart broken when she realized what a liability a blind man could be for a girl.

  Chapter Five

  The next day Katey rang the doorbell, but no one answered. She walked to the side of the property and saw the three guys outside in the backyard with Willow. Jake threw a tennis ball to him and the shepherd rushed to retrieve it and then dropped it at Jake’s feet.

  “Good morning,” she said.

  Luc looked up.

  “Hi, Katey. I thought I’d give Willow some exercise before I hand him over to you and Luc. He has lots of energy, so maybe the two of you should walk him every day and get used to him guiding Luc around the streets,” said Jake.

  “Sure, we can do that,” said Katey.


  Luc didn’t respond.

  “I have to take Mitchell to the airport in thirty minutes, so how about we go inside and I’ll walk you through everything one more time.”

  “Sounds like a good idea,” said Katey. “You want to come inside too, Luc, just in case I miss anything?”

  He looked up again. “Sure, why not.”

  She offered him her arm but he didn’t take it, so she grabbed his hand and placed it on her forearm. He stood and she hoped she’d done the right thing. She never wanted him to think that she was patronizing him.

  Today he smelled wonderful. Not that he hadn’t when she’d first met him, but now she could detect a spicy aftershave or cologne. He gripped her arm as she took baby steps with him beside her.

  “You’re approaching the step to the patio door,” she said. She’d looked up a whole bunch of stuff up on the Internet last night about taking care of blind people and hoped that their advice and tips had been correct. She was sure Luc was the type of guy who would let her know if she was overstepping the line at any point.

  Willow walked beside her as if he knew this would soon be his sole responsibility and not hers.

  “Okay, we’re inside, you want to sit down on the chair here?” she asked him.

  “Sure, that would be great.”

  Katey held both his hands as he lowered his butt on the seat. He kept holding them even after he was seated. It was almost as if he didn’t want to let go. She was blushing. She knew it because she felt the uncomfortable heat spreading through her cheeks. Lucky thing he couldn’t see it or she would have been more embarrassed. Ever since she was a child, she’d blushed easily. Her mom had told her she’d grow out of it, but she never had. She glanced over at Jake and saw him smiling––no, he was grinning. There was a difference.

  “Okay, guys. I’ve also written all this down but I’m just a phone call away if you ever need me,” said Jake.

  “I’ve stored your number on my phone,” said Katey, finally letting her hands slide out of Luc’s. She needed to concentrate on what Jake was telling her and knew she couldn’t do that still locked in contact with Luc.

  “I think Willow’s been an easy dog to train. He’s very intelligent so I don’t anticipate you’ll have any problems with him. My concern is getting all the built up energy out of him, so I’m relying on you, Katey, to see that he gets daily exercise and then you can gradually hand that chore over to Luc.”

  Katey nodded. “I can stop by for as long as Luc needs me.”

  “That’s what I want to hear.”

  She looked at Luc. Stopping by this handsome man’s house was going to be more of a treat than a job. Katey suddenly felt guilty. She’d been daydreaming, had tuned out everything else Jake was telling them. And having fantasies about a man she’d been hired to help. She picked at the hangnail on her index finger. For all she knew, he might have a girlfriend, so it was stupid getting carried away.

  ****

  Luc had loved her holding onto him like she had and he couldn’t think of anything else but her soft skin and those hands in his as Jake rambled on. He’d tuned out––hell, he hadn’t even tuned in. Katey was all he could think about and all he had thought about since he’d heard her voice when she’d said good morning out in the yard. There wasn’t much to look forward to in his pitiful life, but maybe, just maybe having her stop by every day would make it tolerable. He realized it was stupid because she wasn’t going to be around forever but he’d deal with that when that time came.

  “That’s about it. And I’ll just get my bag so Mitchell and I can head out. How about both of you walking us out to the truck?”

  He raised his hand up. Not that he needed help, but Katey didn’t know that. On cue, her hand slipped into his and he stood, trying to imagine what she looked like. In his mind’s eye she was cute: five feet five inches tall, with long dark hair, little pink lips, a body he’d love to hold…

  “You’re at the outside step that goes to the driveway,” she said.

  Hell, he’d been on another planet and hadn’t even realized that they were already outside.

  “How about Gen and I drive here to see you one weekend? You too, Katey?”

  “I’d love that. Maybe I can show Gen around town,” said Katey.

  “She’d enjoy it and maybe we’ll bring Nicky along,” said Jake.

  “Okay, Luc, you know I hate goodbyes so I’m going to make this quick.” Mitchell hugged and patted him on the back. “Hang in there, because everything’s going to be all right. With Rachel pregnant, I can’t say when I’ll get out west again, but I’ll give you a weekly call to see how you’re doing.”

  “I’ll count on it,” said Luc. “And say hello to her for me.”

  “Take care,” said Jake, who squeezed him so hard he thought he’d snap one of his bones.

  Luc hoped none of them noticed the tears in his eyes. He’d never been one for goodbyes, even before his accident, and now he was a big mess. Most of all he hoped Katey didn’t think he was some kind of sissy guy, crying because his army buddies were leaving.

  “Katey, take care of Willow, and Luc, and phone me if you need anything,” said Jake.

  “I will, and say hi to Gen for me.”

  “Will do.”

  Luc slyly wiped his eyes as he heard two truck doors slam shut and then the engine start up.

  He was taken by surprise when Katey got hold of his hand and lifted it up. “Thought you’d like to wave to them,” she said as he heard the truck’s horn sound.

  “Sure, thank you,” he said, waving.

  “They’re gone,” she said.

  “Guess you’re stuck with me all by yourself now. Well, until the nurse arrives in about an hour.”

  “Then how about we get some training in with Willow before she does?”

  She put his arm over hers and they took baby steps toward what he guessed was the house.

  “The sun’s out today, isn’t it?” he asked.

  “Yep, bright in the sky.”

  “I can feel it on my face and see the brightness. Strange how I still see some light.”

  “Jake was telling me there’s an operation…”

  He stopped in his tracks. “I told Jake the next person who mentioned that was going to be sorry. I vowed to throw something at them, but seeing as you didn’t know that rule, I’ll give you a free pass this time. I don’t ever want the subject raised again, okay?”

  When you could no longer see people’s faces it was impossible to tell their reaction to something you’d said. He hoped he hadn’t sounded too harsh and upset Katey, because he sensed that she’d meant well. However, he had his rules, and talking about the fucking surgery was one of them.

  She remained silent. He didn’t know if she was pissed off with his abrupt tone, or just didn’t know what to say.

  “Let’s go into the living room and I’ll show you how Willow can help you out with retrieving things.”

  He swallowed. She sounded like it was all business now. Maybe he’d been a bit too hard on her.

  Judging by its feel, she’d guided him to the armchair by the window. The warmth of the sunlight filtered through the window and played on his forearm. He fingered the ridging on the seat. Partly out of apprehension, the other half out of curiosity. Funny how he’d had this chair for longer than he could remember and only now noticed its raised trim. He ran his fingers along its length, suddenly nervous not about what he’d said to her a few minutes ago, but being alone with her.

  The smell of her perfume drifted his way again. He took a deep breath. One, and probably the only, thing he appreciated about losing one of his senses, was that it had upped the intensity of the others, and in some strange way brought him an appreciation of things he’d once taken for granted.

  One thing he’d discovered was that Katey had long hair. It had just brushed his cheek and it felt good. He reached out and touched it, immediately sensing he’d committed his second foolish act of the day. But fascination h
ad overridden common sense. Now he knew its length, he needed to find out what color it was. He’d once watched a movie about a blind woman who claimed she could tell color by merely touching it. He fingered Katey’s hair, hoping he could do the same, but he drew a blank. He had to know, but why he felt that way, puzzled him. Whatever its color, it was soft and silky and he wanted to continue touching it.

  “What color is your hair?” he finally got the courage to ask her.

  “Brown,” she said.

  It had a slight wave to it and he guessed it was pretty.

  He heard a bark just a few feet away and knew the dog had joined them. She lifted his hand and placed in on the dog’s head.

  “Willow is a German shepherd. I don’t know if Jake has told you much about him.”

  Luc shook his head and stroked the dog’s back, feeling its coarse hair under his fingertips. He’d obviously been sitting in the sun for a while, because it was warm.

  “How am I going to take care of him…I mean, before I go through all the training? Any chance you can take him home until then?”

  Luc sensed that Katey had sat down on the floor beside him.

  “I’d love to, but since I lost my job I’ve been living back at my dad’s house and my step-mother doesn’t like animals. Well, sometimes she finds humans hard to tolerate as well, and treats them just about the same.”

  Luc laughed and surprised himself with his sudden outburst. He hadn’t laughed, not since…? It had been so long, again he couldn’t remember even if his life depended on it.

  Katey makes me laugh.

  It was obvious she didn’t like her step-mom and if she was exactly like she’d described her, who could blame her.

  “Where did you work?”

  “I was an assistant to a realtor. We all know what happened when the housing bubble burst.”