Seeing Forever

by Vanessa Devereaux

  Luc made his way back.

  “Sorry about that. I think she could easily get the nosiest person in Boise award, and I’ve always had to make excuses for it. And if you don’t want to cook steaks tonight, that’s fine with me.”

  “No, really. It’s no hassle at all.”

  ****

  Luc heard the steaks sizzling on the grill. He smiled, remembering his sister walking him to the door and telling him just how cute Katey was.

  “You want to sit at the table?” asked Katey.

  “I guess I should. I warn you, I drop more food down me than goes into my mouth.”

  She touched his arm and it felt like an electrical current. He fingered the edge of the chair and sat.

  “I hope you don’t mind, but I’ve cut the steak up for you.”

  He heard a plate being placed on the table in front of him.

  He would have minded had it been anyone else patronizing him like that, but not Katey. He knew she meant well and that was all.

  “Any steak sauce?” he asked.

  “Sure. And there’s a baked potato, too. Oh, and I found a bag of salad mix in your fridge. Hope you didn’t mind me washing it and dressing it with my homemade vinaigrette.”

  He laughed. “Not at all. You sound like quite a catch for some guy.”

  He felt for the bottle of steak sauce and unscrewed the top. He carefully put his finger on the side of his plate and poured some.

  “Guess I haven’t found one I’d like to catch,” she said.

  He speared the first piece of steak and lifted it to his mouth. The meat melted on his tongue. She’d cooked it to perfection. Well, maybe not perfection, but the way he liked his T-bones.

  “Are you telling me you don’t have a boyfriend?”

  He wanted to know if Jake had been right. Maybe sometimes woman didn’t reveal that they were seeing someone. Not that he thought there was any chance for him, but he was just cautious.

  Yeah, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

  “No, no boyfriend at the moment.”

  He put his hand out and fingered the edge of the bowl with the salad. Now he wanted to taste her homemade salad dressing. Not that he was a vinaigrette type of guy. Blue cheese was his dressing of choice. He pushed the fork through the bowl and brought it up to his lips, feeling oil slide over them. He licked it. It was heaven. He munched on the lettuce, getting a hit of olive oil, vinegar, and if he wasn’t mistaken, mustard. Some guy was going to get lucky having Katey as a girlfriend and lover. He squeezed his eyes shut.

  Shit, how I wish it could be me.

  Chapter Eight

  They sat in the armchairs in the living room.

  “Have you been listening to the TV?” said Katey.

  He shook his head. “They were talking about getting me a descriptive service, but I don’t know if I want it. It sounds too depressing. I mean, someone telling you what’s going on. I’ve been listening to music, and also some audio books.”

  “What sort of books do you like?”

  “Mysteries.”

  “Me too. I could read one to you…I mean, if you want?”

  A few days ago he’d have said no way, hell, he might have even been borderline pissed, but now the thought of sitting here relaxing while listening to Katey’s voice thrilled him.

  “Sure…there are some books over on the ledge there that I didn’t get around to reading before the accident.”

  He hadn’t counted on Katey sitting close by him when she’d picked a book, until he felt pressure on his thigh and then warmth creeping through his jeans. He took a deep breath, almost getting intoxicated by her perfume. Now all he wanted to do was lean in toward her and rest his head on her shoulder.

  “This one is called Nowhere to Run,” said Katey.

  If by coincidence that was the one he wanted to read and guessed he never would unless he could find it on audio or it was available in Braille…once he learned how to read it. He heard her turning some pages and then she began reading.

  “Jack Bansworth sensed he was being followed the minute he’d turned the corner…”

  He relaxed more on the couch, resting his head on the back of it, getting dreamy about how she said the words. He’d never thought about a woman’s voice before and what a turn-on it could be. At least Katey’s was, for him.

  Each time she turned the page she sent up a little breeze that made her perfume travel his way some more. He wanted to touch her and feel her face so he could see if it was as pretty as everyone said.

  He reached up and made contact with both her hand and the book. She stopped reading and he hoped she didn’t run and think he was a pervert who’d tricked her into staying in his guest room for the sole purpose of seducing her. But she took his hand and tickled his palm with one of her fingers. They linked hands, palm to palm, but didn’t say anything.

  “Can I touch your face? Yes, I know that sounds creepy, but I want to feel what it’s like.”

  “Sure.”

  He felt her move slightly and guessed she was now facing him. He reached up and touched her collarbone and then raised his hand higher, soon coming in contact with her lips.

  They were full, soft, and he was guessing the prettiest shade of pink. He slid his finger over her cheek, feeling the bone, and then up to her eyes. He outlined them. Her eyelashes were long and curled just a little.

  “What color are your eyes?”

  “Blue.”

  He’d guessed as much.

  And her nose. He ran his index finger along the bone and knew it, like the rest of her face, felt attractive.

  But then he pulled his hand away, almost as if he was coming to his senses. This had been a dumb thing to do. Not because maybe she thought him a little strange, but now that he’d touched her face, it broke his heart that he’d never see it for himself.

  Dumb and stupid.

  Depression washed over him again. Hanging around him like a dark shroud he could never be free of. He had to get away from her. He stood.

  “I’m feeling tired all of a sudden, so I hope you don’t mind if I go up to bed?”

  “No, not at all. Is it okay if I sit and watch TV until I’m sleepy?”

  “Sure, treat this like your home.”

  He almost forgot about Willow until the dog barked. Luc reached for his harness and soon he was escorting him out of the living room and up the stairs. He had to give the canine credit, because he learned quickly. Luc felt around for his bed and sat on it as the dog knocked against his leg.

  “Is it true what they say that animals can pick up on people’s emotions?” he asked him.

  If that was true, the dog might sense he was at a low point. Having Katey around was now actually torturing him more than anything. He took off his t-shirt and then stood and removed his jeans before sitting down on the bed again.

  Tomorrow he’d tell her that he didn’t need her to hang around training him or Willow. They would be just fine on their own. He reached out until he found the dog’s head and patted it.

  “You understand why she has to leave, right?”

  Chapter Nine

  Katey had tried to watch the movie but she couldn’t concentrate so she’d given up and gone to bed. For one crazy minute she’d even contemplated driving home. She turned out the light but knew she wouldn’t get any sleep because her mind was turning over so many thoughts.

  The way Luc had touched her face, her lips, and his gentle touch on her eyes. Her nipples had pulled and ached, tempting her to make the first move and kiss him. How crazy would that have been? She’d so wanted to. She wanted to make love with him, for Luc to be the man to take her virginity.

  Katey turned on her side. She probably wasn’t the sort of woman he was used to. Ten years his junior, totally inexperienced, and yes, in need of losing a few pounds too. Okay, more than a few.

  She sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed. She couldn’t stay. It was torture because she wanted him and she never could have
him. She would go home and tomorrow make some excuse about her having found a full-time job at a local company.

  Katey stood and walked over to the dresser where she’d placed her bag and put her extra clothing into it. She pulled on her jeans and t-shirt and slowly crept out of the room and down the stairs. She’d call him first thing in the morning and tell him the job opportunity had come up at the last minute.

  Being as quiet as she could, she tiptoed out onto the driveway and got into her car. She turned the ignition and … nothing. That had never happened before. The battery was less than six months old. She turned the key again. Still nothing.

  She counted to ten and tried again.

  Shit, it still wouldn’t start.

  Katey glanced at the front door and for one crazy minute, she could have sworn she saw Sadie Sutton standing there shaking her head.

  She had to get out of here because now she was hallucinating.

  She tried one more time. All the lights came on, but not the engine. She looked at the gas gauge, but the pointer was on E. She tapped it. Something had to be wrong. She’d filled the tank up before she’d headed to Luc’s place earlier that day.

  Finally giving up, she took the key out. She’d have to go back inside and call her dad or someone to come and bring some gas first thing in the morning.

  He needs you.

  She jumped. A woman’s voice -- was it Sadie’s? -- had said those three words, but there was no one around.

  Hurry, he needs you.

  Now totally spooked, Katey grabbed her bag and hurried toward the house but realized she’d locked it and didn’t have a key.

  She couldn’t ring the bell so she’d be spending the night sleeping out in the car. She turned to walk away and then heard something click behind her.

  She turned to look just as the door flew open and a wind coming from out of the blue pushed her toward it.

  Maybe she was coming down with something. Maybe she needed to sleep it off.

  Katey stepped inside the hallway just as Luc cried out.

  She dropped her bag and took the stairs two at a time to get to him.

  As she got to the top stair she heard him cry out again. Katey ran to his room and pushed back the door and stepped inside.

  There was a nightlight on, and Willow was running around the bed frantically moving from one side to the other. Luc was obviously still asleep but dreaming as his head turned from side to side and sweat clung to his face and neck.

  Should she wake him?

  He cried out again and it almost broke her heart because he sounded like he was in physical pain.

  Katey couldn’t let him suffer any longer. She rushed to the bed and gently tugged on his arm. He didn’t wake up so she nudged him harder and this time he gradually opened his eyes.

  He was out of breath. His chest moved up and down like he was having trouble breathing.

  “Where am I?” he asked.

  “You’re at home. It’s okay.”

  “I can’t see.”

  Her stomach turned and she remembered the woman’s voice. He needs you. She knew where she’d heard it before. Yes, it had definitely been Sadie’s. How strange that she should know that Luc was having a nightmare and that Katey was attempting to leave.

  “You’re going to be all right,” she said.

  The only thing she could do was slide onto the bed to hug him.

  “There was an explosion, and then everything went black,” he said.

  “I know, but you’re safe now. Me and Willow are here with you.”

  “I’m not in the hospital?”

  “Nope, you’re back home in Boise in your house. I’m guessing you had a bad dream about the bomb exploding and it’s disorientated you.”

  He patted the bed, seeming almost on the verge of having a panic attack. She grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

  “I got so scared. I couldn’t see and I could smell smoke.”

  She rubbed the back of his hand. “It must have been scary. Have you had nightmares before?”

  “Yeah, a couple of times a week, but this one was really bad. I was back there, living through the explosion. This time I even heard the bomb ticking, but I couldn’t run away fast enough.”

  A bead of sweat dripped off his face and onto the quilt.

  “Wait here and I’ll get a washcloth and some ice cold water.”

  She hurried to the bathroom and then down to the kitchen and filled up a beaker with ice and water, before heading back upstairs. She rested the washcloth on his forehead and then sat him up and made him take small sips of the water.

  He extended his hand, resting it on her thigh. She glanced at his fingers. Surely he must know he’d made contact with her body but he seemed in no hurry to move his hand.

  Katey’s heartbeat picked up. She closed her eyes. All she wanted to do was crawl under the sheets and snuggle next to him. Not only to comfort him but to satisfy her own craving and fantasy. But that would be taking advantage of the situation.

  “Katey,” he finally said. She hadn’t realized what a deep sexy voice he had until now. She closed her eyes again and it wasn’t until he said her name again that she realized she hadn’t responded.

  “Yes, how are you feeling?” she asked.

  “Scared.”

  Willow put his paw on the bed as if he knew Luc wasn’t doing so well. She reached over and stroked his head to assure him he did okay and none of this was his fault.

  “Don’t leave me alone in the dark,” he said, stroking her leg. She’d never felt quite like this before, her skin was suddenly supersensitive, her nipples throbbed and her panties were without a doubt, damp.

  “How about I sleep in the chair by the bed? That way Willow and I can keep an eye on you, and I’m here if you need to talk?”

  “That won’t be very comfortable for you. You can have the bed and I’ll take the chair.”

  “I wouldn’t think of it.”

  “Then lay on top of the bed beside me. There are some extra blankets in the cupboard over there.”

  She wanted to say no. Not that she was offended by his suggestion but he was too tempting and she was scared she’d take advantage of him, not vice versa.

  “Sure. I’ll just go get them.”

  She walked across to the other side of the room, opened the cupboard and saw two crème blankets sitting on the top shelf. She took them out, and then walked back to the bed where Luc had moved over to the right side.

  Katey got onto the bed and threw the blankets over her and eased her head down on the pillow. Willow walked around and then lay on the floor beside Luc.

  “You have both of us with you,” said Katey.

  He reached out and felt for her hand. She helped him by slipping it into his palm. Luc wrapped his fingers around her knuckles.

  “Thanks for doing this. I feel like a freak and…”

  “Hey, you’re anything but a freak, and I’m happy to be helping you.”

  “You mind if I do this?”

  “Do what?”

  Before he answered he’d brought her hand up to his mouth and kissed the back of it.

  She relaxed back into the pillow. How she’d wished it had been her mouth and not her hand.

  Katey glanced at him. His eyelids started to flutter. It looked like he was drifting off to sleep again. It would be a long time before she got to that point. She was in her mid-twenties and this was the first time she was sharing a bed with a man.

  Chapter Ten

  When Luc woke up the following morning he could tell that the sun was already up, because he was able to see some brightness in his room.

  He recalled the night before. The terrible dream he’d had. He’d relived the bomb going off and then the darkness and nothing else. In his sleep he’d even smelled the vile odor of that day. He’d never forget that as long as he lived. He was sure it was the burning flesh of the two men who’d been killed.

  And then he remembered Katey waking him. Her kindness, and as
he felt the bed beside him, realized he hadn’t imagined it and that it hadn’t been part of the dream. He’d asked her to lie beside him and she had.

  He felt her thigh under the blanket but tried not to wake her. The poor girl had offered to stay the night and instead of being in the comfy bed in the guest room, here she was asleep under some blankets on top of his bed. Yesterday he’d been adamant about telling her he didn’t need help but after last night he realized that she brought him a certain sense of peace. It was hard to explain. He sat up and Willow brushed his hand.

  “Hi, big guy. We have to be quiet because Katey’s asleep. I need to go to the bathroom.”

  He pulled on the harness and stood as Willow led him out into the hallway.

  Katey and Willow were quite a team. But what would he do when they were gone? Katey wouldn’t be with him for more than a month. Willow would be sticking around, but dogs didn’t live forever. Jake had told him Willow was three, and a dog his size probably lived to be eleven, twelve max. Nine years was a long way off, but one day he’d have to start all over again, new trainer and new dog. The thought depressed him.

  Luc slapped the wall and then edged his hand along, feeling for the sink. He took a deep breath. Unlike his blindness, Katey was a temporary fixture in his life. He opened the cupboard above the sink, recalling his feeble attempt at trying to end it all.

  Willow nudged his thigh. Luc reached down and found the dog’s head and gave him a pat. If he didn’t know better he’d assume that the canine sensed what he’d done and that he was contemplating it yet again.

  “It’s okay, I’m not going to kill myself…not today, anyway.”

  Luc turned suddenly when he heard floorboards creaking. He knew this house like the back of his hand. That particular squeak meant that someone had walked past the bathroom.

  “Katey?” Shit, he hoped she hadn’t overheard him telling the dog about his plans to kill himself. And if she had, that she wouldn’t say anything to Josie or even Jake. What if they locked him up?

  “Good morning,” she said.