Betwixt

by Melissa Pearl

I cross my arms as I start the long walk to school. It's just over eight miles. There's no way I can walk that far in these heels. Big Bear Village is only a mile or so away. I'll just have to catch a bus from there. Ugh!

  I look at my watch and pick up the pace. This day has detention written all over it, unless I can sneak in the back. I glance behind me at the approaching car and notice Dale in the driver's seat. His radio is blasting while his fingers tap out a rhythm on the steering wheel. He is completely lost in his head banging music as he speeds past me.

  I sigh. Even if he had noticed me, there was no way he was ever going to stop and offer me a ride. Not after what I'd done. I cringe for the gazillionth time as I remember that afternoon.

  It had been a few weeks before school broke up for the summer. I was rummaging through my locker while I waited for my friends. He approached quietly, like he always does.

  "Hey, Nicole."

  I jumped a mile, having not heard him, but totally held it together. I remember tucking my bangs behind my ear and holding up my chin, hoping he hadn't noticed... not that I cared or anything.

  He gave me that classic smirk of his. I don't know why I like it so much. His face is actually really mangled. No one knows what happened to him, the rumors are rife, but he has this really long scar that zig zags from just below his right eye down to his chin. When he smiles it pushes awkwardly out to the side. It's kinda weird how it’s not ugly - not that I'd admit that to my friends.

  Anyway - he stood there smirking at me, not a mean smirk, but this cute little half smile, and handed me my iPod.

  "You left this in English yesterday. My class goes in straight after yours. I tried to catch you after school, but you'd already left."

  "Oh, thanks, Da... Darren?"

  He shook his head and that smile reappeared. "Don't worry, no one's watching, you don't have to pretend to forget my name. We're practically neighbours, remember?"

  I sighed and snatched the iPod from his hand. "Thank you, Dale. I was wondering where it was."

  "Listen, I know it's kind of intrusive, but I checked out your play list. You have really great taste."

  "You what?" I was mortified. This was my private stuff and he was scrolling through it and... he thought I had great taste. I had to squash my grin while I strove for indignation.

  He totally ignored my power glare and pulled something out of his bag.

  "I saw this at a second hand store a couple of weeks ago. I was gonna keep it, but I thought you might like it more."

  I took the bag with a confused frown and pulled out a CD. My gasp must have been audible, because he totally laughed.

  "Granite? I can't believe you like this band."

  "An obscure heavy metal, glam rock band from the nineties? What's not to like?"

  I laughed.

  "I didn't know anyone our age had even heard of them before."

  "Yeah, well, some of us have."

  "This is..." I looked at the CD, struggling for words. "This is the only album I don't have."

  "I know, that's why I'm giving it to you."

  How sweet was that?

  He shoved his hands in his pockets and gave me one of those closed mouth grins then cleared his throat. "So, why do you like 'em so much?"

  I kept my eyes on the CD case. I had never told anyone this before, but the words popped out before I could stop them.

  "My Dad would sometimes take me on his business trips to L.A. and he'd always blast it. We'd sing our heads off."

  I don't know why that memory stings so much. Maybe it's because it never happens anymore. It doesn't stop me loving the band though... in secret.

  Dale's smile was on full beam as he nodded at my story. "That is very cool."

  He looked at me for a long beat then dug into his bag as he started talking.

  "Well, my sister and I always loved the band and we went to their reunion concert last year."

  "Oh yeah, they were playing at the Hollywood Bowl, right?"

  "Uh-huh. It was awesome." He pulled out a metal chain with two dog tags swinging from it.

  "No way." I grabbed them up and studied the band's iconic piece of jewelry. GRANITE - Rock Hard was punched into the metal. "This is so cool. Did they throw it from the stage or something?"

  "Yeah. I got real lucky that night. I caught these and a drum stick."

  "Wow."

  "I know. Pretty cool, huh?"

  "Totally." I should have curbed my enthusiasm here. If my friends ever found out I liked a band like this, they'd hassle me senseless. But I couldn't help it. I was talking to another die hard Granite fan. Aside from my Dad, I didn't know any others.

  I squeezed the tags in my hand and passed them back.

  "No, you keep 'em. I've got the drum stick."

  "I can't."

  "Sure you can."

  I tipped my head with a cynical smile. "What's the catch? You want a date or something?"

  He blushed and his face creased with a broad smile. "No catch. But if you are asking me out..."

  "I'm not! I just..." I felt all flustered and was probably blushing up a storm, but then my eyes popped wide and my blood ran cold.

  "Nicole?"

  I threw the CD and dog tags into my locker and slammed it closed as my friends approached from behind me.

  Dale gave me a dry look. "Really?"

  I pleaded with my eyes as best I could, but he ignored it and pasted on a cheesy smile for my friends.

  "Hello ladies."

  Amber's nose crinkled and Penny just looked awkward.

  "What do you want?" Amber's expression told him he was a pathetic little bug and should scuttle away as fast as possible.

  Dale wasn't perturbed and replied with a cordial smile before looking at me with a wicked grin. "Such nice friends you have. What a pleasure it is to finally meet them."

  I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me as they looked from me to Dale.

  "Thanks for returning my iPod." I tried to make it more than obvious that we were done here, but he just had to keep going.

  "You're welcome. Hey maybe we can catch up after school tomorrow, listen to some music."

  Amber and Penny both frowned. I had to do something. I didn't want them thinking I was into the guy. Penny, aka Twitter bug, because of her addiction to Twitter, could annihilate me in less than a minute. I had to end this.

  And end it I did.

  In the worst way I possibly could have.

  I shrugged then said with a smirk, "Whatever, Scarface."

  My friends snickered and Dale's expression dropped. All humor disappeared and I was faced with a look that I cannot get out of my brain.

  You should know better.

  I tried to apologize without actually saying it, but it was too late. The words were out, my friends thought I was a cool, mean bitch again and I was left feeling like the scum of the earth.

  I glanced behind me once more as I walked away and Dale was pulling the shoulder-length curls he always tucked behind his ears, down over his face... a pathetic attempt to hide his scar.

  Dale's brake lights appear as he pauses at the end of the street. The sudden urge to call out and wave for him to stop courses through me, but he pulls away before I can actually act on it. He wouldn't stop anyway. He hasn't looked at me once since I said it. It's been just over four months since I dubbed him Scarface. How was I supposed to know it would catch on and spread through the school like a virus? I swallow and cross my arms. Four months... and he hasn't looked at me once.

  CHAPTER THREE

  I catch the bus in the village and arrive at school an hour late. Thankfully no one spots me as I sneak into the back of the school and hightail it to my next class. The bell for second period must have rung a couple of minutes earlier because the door is wide open and I can hear my friends still in chatter mode.

  I dump my bag on the desk and sit down next to them.

  "Hey guys. You won't believe the morning I've had."

  Amber is assessin
g her nails as Twitterbug finishes off a text then slams her phone down.

  "So..." she gives Amber that tell me everything grin.

  Amber blushes, then smirks. "It was good."

  "What was good?" I lean forward.

  "And..." Penny makes circles with her hand, begging Amber for more.

  "Okay it was amazing. He's a really good kisser. I think I like him."

  Penny lets out a little squeal. "I so hooked you up. Hashtag, Penny is awesome."

  I try to hide my eye roll. Twitterbug talks in hashtags.

  Amber giggles. "Hashtag, study group rocks."

  And Amber has started doing it too. Just quietly, it's super annoying.

  Wait, did she just say study group? Of course. We always have study group on a Tuesday. Whose place was it at last night? I'm too embarrassed to ask. They'll accuse me of drinking too much again.

  "Aren't you glad I invited him?" Penny prods Amber's shoulder.

  Amber rolls her eyes. "Okay, okay, don't make a big deal of it."

  I can tell by the look on her face that she totally wants us to make a big deal of it.

  "Who did you hook up with?" I hate that I can't remember what we did last night, but I have to know who Amber kissed.

  "So, what was his name again?"

  Amber flicks her hair and sits up straight.

  "Amber?"

  She looks away from me.

  "What?"

  She sniffs and clears her throat.

  "Okay, is this because I didn't call you this morning? Because, for your information, I can't find my phone."

  Amber shakes her head and readjusts her long bangs.

  I roll my eyes. This is so Amber. Whenever I piss her off, even by the teensiest little bit, she punishes me with her high fallooting air sniffs and throat clearing. She makes me work double time to figure out what the problem is as well. It is so completely irritating.

  "Penny, help me out here. Did I do something last night? I don't remember doing anything wrong?" I hold back my, 'actually I don't remember anything' comment.

  Penny checks her phone again then opens her textbook as the teacher walks in.

  "She's got you in on this too? Give me a break, Penny. I can't fix this if I don't know what's wrong."

  She scratches her nose then pulls out a pen, looking towards the front of class.

  "Thanks, guys. Thanks a lot," I whisper before slumping back in my seat.

  My mind races with all the things I could have done. Unfortunately my slate is hardly clean. Amber ignored me for three weeks once when I hooked up with the guy she was crushing on. I eventually got her to forgive me, but I've never told her we actually slept together. I'd rather die. Maybe she found out last night.

  I nibble my lip as another misdemeanor rushes through my brain. That time I totally dissed her outfit in front of everyone. I was just trying to get her back for borrowing my bracelet and promptly losing it. She actually looked pretty good, but I, of course, had to point out the fact that those particular pants made her mini love handles show. Kill me now. I can't believe I actually said that in front of all our friends. I mean her clothes are often too tight and I'd love to go all make over on her, but she'd be so offended if I ever suggested it. Besides, she got me back the next day by "accidentally" spilling cranberry juice all over my white shirt. The war could have gone on for months if Penny hadn't stepped in with a truce agreement.

  I glance up at Mrs. Spencer as she begins her tirade on the quality of our homework assignments. We are now juniors and there is no excuse for tardiness, sloppiness or incomplete work. The class lets out a collective groan when she threatens to make us repeat it. "All except Cassie Martin and Derek Li whose work is constantly of the highest standard."

  I shoot Amber an eye roll, but she doesn't respond.

  I tune out Mrs. Spencer and get back to my worrying.

  What did I do last night? Who did she hook up with? I inwardly cringe as I imagine my-drunken-self making a play for Amber's love interest. How humiliating.

  Surely I wouldn't have.

  "Hey, was Trent at study group?" I whisper.

  Amber is too busy listening to the teacher to acknowledge me.

  He must have been. He's always there, because I'm always there... and if he was there, there's no way I would have been flirting with anybody else. At least I can cross that one off my list.

  I look at Amber again. Things have not been the same since I started dating Trent. Amber's never actually said it, but I don't think she likes him. He can be a bit of a bad boy I guess, but he does have a really sweet side... sometimes. Maybe she just doesn't like me being with him. We haven't spent as much time together since Trent's been on the scene. I don't know, maybe I ignored her at study group. Knowing her, she would have wanted to show off Mr. Good Kisser. If I hadn't been paying attention, the chances of a panties-in-a-twist-party were pretty high.

  I sigh.

  Looks like my crappy day is just going to get crappier.

  I tap my pen on my pad then make a quick decision. Standing from my seat, I gather my things and walk to the front of class.

  "Mrs. Spencer, I'm not feeling very well. Can I go see the nurse please?"

  She's so busy writing on the white board, she barely turns to acknowledge me. I take her minute hand wave as an okay and turn to leave, firing Amber a morose look as I walk out the door.

  I want to throw something as I tap my way down the empty corridor. I hate this; why can't I remember anything?

  My brain pulses against my skull as I turn towards the sick bay. Do I really want to go there?

  I spin on my heel and head down the stairs. I'll wait in the changing rooms. Maybe by dance class the girls will have defrosted and I can find out what the hell is going on.

  Voices drift up from the bottom of the stairs and I let out a sigh of relief.

  Trent.

  Finally. I can get some answers.

  I rush the last few steps and whip around the corner only to freeze in my tracks.

  Trent is leaning against the wall with a cute little brunette in front of him. Julie Peters. Well, well, well.

  "I don't want to get caught," she whispers.

  "We won't. No one comes around here during class time."

  I cross my arms and slowly approach the couple. My footsteps are obviously too quiet to interrupt their interlude. I stop behind Trent and wait for him to notice me.

  "You looked really hot last night. You know I wanted to leave with you instead."

  Julie giggles, making me want to scratch her eyes out.

  "You have a girlfriend, Trent."

  "Yeah, yeah, I know, but... come on; you can't deny the chemistry between us."

  My bottom lip falls to the floor.

  "Well, maybe you should break up with her."

  He shifts uncomfortably and lets out a soft chuckle.

  "I want to, but you know what she can be like. I have to pick my time. I don't want things to be bad for you and if she thinks I dumped her so I can be with you, your life will suck."

  Damn right it will.

  I ease forward, ready to let rip.

  "Thanks for looking out for me, Trent, but what if she finds out?"

  "She won't. We'll just keep this really quiet. She'll be completely oblivious."

  "Oh really?" I shout as Trent leans down to kiss her. I step forward and thump him on the shoulder.

  My breath evaporates in one big whoosh.

  I stumble back with bug eyes.

  What just happened?

  Trent shivers and rubs his shoulder. The shoulder I had just tried to hit.

  The shoulder my hand had just passed straight through.

  "Are you okay?" Julie touches his face.

  "Yeah." He shivers again then smiles down at her. "Come on, let's get out of here."

  He puts his hand on her lower back and leads her outside.

  I stand in frozen shock as I listen to the door click closed behind them.

  Br
eathing in through my nose, I approach the door with shaky steps. My arm is quivering as I reach for the door handle.

  My fingers pass through the metal.

  "No."

  It feels weird. Like, beyond weird. Not hard like metal should be... or cold, it's just... nothing. I feel nothing.

  A sharp pain shoots through my brain and I let out a cry. I clutch my head and drop to the floor, squeezing my eyes shut. The corridor begins to spin. I open my eyes as the walls rush towards me. My lungs fill with a scream of terror before everything goes black.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  I don't want to open my eyes. Every fiber of my being pulses with pain. Where am I?

  The first thing to register is the sound of birds whisking through the air above me.

  Whip-whip-whip.

  They chirp and sing to each other.

  Whip-whip-whip.

  What the hell are birds doing in a school corridor? My eyes pop open of their own accord.

  Large trees loom above me. The smell of pine wafts up my nose.

  Crap. Am I hallucinating?

  Why am I in a forest?

  I turn to take in my surroundings and feel a sharp pain sear down my neck.

  "Ahhh."

  It's like someone has mistaken my head for a nail. The hammer swings pound my brain in a steady, unrelenting rhythm.

  I squeeze my eyes shut. What is going on?

  Okay, just stop and think. You were with Trent, the scum bag who is cheating on you.

  Man, that stings. It's totally not important to my situation right now, but it still stings... real bad. My boyfriend is cheating on me with Julie Peters. Images of his hands and lips on my skin massacre my brain. How many girls had I been sharing those lips with? I feel sick. Instant tears line my lashes. I shake my head to ward them off. Not the world's best idea.

  The pain pulses with a vengeance, forcing me back to reality. At least I think it's reality.

  With slow movements, I investigate the origin of my headache. There's a large lump on the back of my head. It's soft and mushy, making me grimace. Is my hair wet?

  I pull my hand away and notice red liquid on my fingertips.

  Blood?