Splitsville.com

by Tonya Kappes

I smile, trying to hide my nervousness, but my lip starts to twitch. “Hi, Carl. Good to see you.” I nod, and have to close my eyes and steady myself by holding onto my aunt. His aura begins to radiate around me causing me to become dizzy and nauseous.

  Not now. I repeat over and over in my head for this feeling to go away.

  “I’m sorry Carl, my niece isn’t feeling well.” Aunt Matilda steps back in holding onto my arm. She begins to shut the door and I focus on her aura, not his. “We will have to continue our chat later.”

  He catches the door and pushes it a little wider. “I’m sorry, Matilda, I need to speak to your niece.”

  “Don’t worry honey. I’ve been taking notes.” Her eyes narrow letting Carl know she’s not happy about this. Aunt Matilda can tell I’ve seen something, and walk me to the couch.

  “I’m sorry you’re not feeling well Olivia, but can you answer a couple questions for me?” Carl tries to be as nice as a policeman can be.

  “I’m fine,” I assure my aunt. It’s not like I wasn’t expecting them.

  Aunt Matilda jingles her way back into the family room with a cup of sweet tea for me. “Extra sugar, just like you.” She pats my head.

  Carl sits in the chair closest to the couch. “I’m sure you’ve heard about the murder.”

  Dabi Stone? What’s this got to do with Dabi? I’m a bit confused, but I’m not about to confess to anything.

  “I heard about it on the news.” I have to admit I know about it, because I could fart and everyone in Park City would know about it.

  “Did you know Ms. Stone?” Carl pulls out his little notebook. He clicks his pen and is ready to take some notes.

  I tilt my head and give Carl a questioning look.

  “Dabi Stone, the victim.” Carl reminds me. “Did you know Ms. Stone?”

  “Dabi?” I roll my eyes in my head. “Um…no.”

  “Really? You’ve lived in Park City all your life and don’t know Ms. Stone? Dabi as you call her.”

  “Of course I know who she is, but I don’t know- know her.” I take a gulp of tea to get the knot down my throat. “We went to school together.”

  “I see.”

  I strain my neck a little to see if I can make out what he’s writing on his little pad.

  “I mean…” I sit a little taller. This is completely the truth if I don’t count a few weeks back when I saw her at the coffee shop. “I haven’t spoken to her in years.”

  Really it’s not a lie because she’s the one who said hello to me and I didn’t say anything back. I take another drink of tea.

  “So how does Splitsville.com work?”

  I choke on my tea and spray it all over Carl’s face.

  “Oh,” I grab a shirt from the pile of clothes on the floor, and wipe at his face. “I’m so sorry.”

  Carl moves away from my dirty- well I really can’t tell if it’s dirty- shirt. “I’ve got it.” He pulls a big hanky from his pocket and wipes off the dribbles of tea and pieces of lemon peel.

  “Now, I guess you might have some information about Dabi Stone.” He stands with that damn notebook in his hand. With a smirk on his face and a sarcastic tone, he says, “We took her computer from her house and noticed she used a break up service. We staged a break-up and to my surprise, turns out it’s you who’s been breaking all these people’s hearts. Talk of the town.”

  “I…” I take a gulp and proceed once I see his blue aura mutate into a bright yellow. He’s aura tells me he’s fishing for answers. “I’ve done nothing wrong. I told Sabrina I won’t do the dump and I immediately called the police.”

  “Yes you did, and that’s how we got your number.” He isn’t being so Mr. nice doughnut cop guy anymore.

  “But I star-sixty-seven my number, and it was under a minute.” Those damn cop shows are never right. Those producers need to do better research.

  “Yes but you didn’t with Sabrina, and you were on with her for about seven minutes. Sabrina is an undercover cop with Park City’s police. New girl, real nice and good at her job.” He smiles like a teen boy who just stole his mom’s Victoria's Secret catalog out of the mailbox.

  “We need to know everything about Miss Stone’s break- up and would greatly appreciate all the files you have on her. You do have files on all your clients—right?” His salt and pepper hair glows brighter with his new silver aura.

  “I do somewhere, but I’ll have to dig them out and it may take a couple of days.” Total lie, but his radiant glow says he’s open to what I have to say. Plus, I want to gain more time to talk to Michael.

  “I expect them at the police station by tomorrow or Park City’s finest will be back with a subpoena. I’m sure you don’t want the whole town to know who Jenn from Splitsville.com is.” He reminds me of the Cheshire cat in Alice in Wonderland. I don’t focus on any part of him or I just might break. Which is just what he wants, I know. “Good to see you again Matilda.” He puts his hat on. “Oh, and Olivia-don’t leave town.”

  I stay on the couch and let my aunt walk Mr. Cop Carl out. If I stand, I just might fall over.

  “Sounds like you have some explaining to do?” I say when Aunt Matilda slinks back into the room.

  She squirms. “No, little girl. You do.”

  There’s no sense in trying to pry out why she acted like she did when she saw Carl. She’s more closed up than Fort Knox when it comes to her personal life. And there’s no way I can keep anything from her. She might be getting up in age, but her psychic instincts haven’t gotten anything but sharper. Or maybe she’s more in tune since retiring.

  “Dabi Stone.” I arch my eyebrows. I know she hasn’t forgotten the incident with Dabi, her nanny and her mom. This isn’t going away. Any murder in Park City has a tendency to hang around longer than the stench of the dead body itself.

  Aunt Matilda creeps along the edge of the couch, sits and leans back making a nice cocoon for herself. “Yes, I remember her.” She puts her hands in her lap and listens just like she always does.

  I continue to tell her about everything I’ve uncovered including Michael and his aura. “I don’t think he did it, but he is their number one suspect. Plus the police will let the world know that I’m Jenn.”

  And that would mean Splitsville.com would be split up. One, the people I’ve dumped will come after me, and two, no one will want me to know all their business. With Jenn, they trust her because they have no clue she’s part of the community.

  “If everyone finds out that I’m. . .” Big ole’ James pops into my head and I look Matilda in the eyes, “. . .I’m afraid my murder will be featured on the six o’clock news.”

  Eleven

  I’m surprised to see my Toyota back in my driveway. I must’ve slept right through Aunt Matilda’s mechanic dropping it off.

  Today’s the day. I readjust the rear view mirror, and check my face. I want to make sure it’s compassionate enough for Erin when I give her the big news about Kent and his alarming aura. My eyes glisten like freshly cut grass, but my dirty blonde hair hangs like spaghetti noodles leaving me feeling the way I want her to see me—ugly. But my insides are smiling at the fact she will be rid of him good and for all.

  She’s meeting me at the SPCA so I can snag Herbie for a couple days. Despite everything, that little pooch has been on my mind. If I know Erin, she’ll be complaining about what happened at the bar, and her fight with Kent, giving me the perfect opportunity to tell her that her creepy, perfectly put together Kent is the real dog, not Herbie.

  My BlackBerry blinks, but it’s going to have to wait. Erin is more important than any dump on my email.

  I pull into the SPCA parking lot, and see her at the entrance. I squint to see exactly what kind of shape she’s in. She’s smiling and waving at me with Bradley standing next to her. I squint harder, noticing that not a single one of her hairs is out of place and her clothes match. Plus the Starbuck’s coffee she’s holding is a sure sign she’s in denial or something has changed since we talked. Every other tim
e a guy has dumped her, she doesn’t leave the house for days—not even for her favorite coffee.

  Bradley hunches his shoulders next to her and lifts his brows. There is something too happy about her and we know it.

  If Bradley told me he was a grifter, I’d kill him. I wouldn’t be able to get out of bed. As I approach I turn down my lip and tilt my head letting her know she doesn’t have to be so strong.

  “What?” She gasps. “What’s wrong?”

  How sweet. I can’t believe it. She puts all her needs aside, thinking something is wrong

  with me. I stretch my arms out to comfort her. I’m ready with a strong shoulder for her to lean on.

  “You don’t have to pretend with me.” I go in for the big hug and rub her back to let her know everything is going to be fine and she can rely on me. I’m determined to help her find a guy—a good one. “You’re my best friend.”

  “Pretend what?” She shoots a look at Bradley. Bradley pretends like he doesn’t know what’s going on.

  Okay, so she’s lost it or she doesn’t want to talk about it in front of Bradley. I can’t believe she’s in denial about Kent. Not twelve hours ago she was hysterical about what he did.

  “Um, last night?” I reach for her hand. The last thing I want to do is make her uncomfortable. “We don’t have to talk about this right now.”

  Bradley rolls his eyes. My heart takes a little dip. I know I told him I would drop it, but after all she’s my best friend.

  She pulls her hand away. “Oh-about that. Kent explained everything, and he’s changed. I really believe him. The entire situation has been totally blown out of proportion.” She smiles, looking completely at ease.

  Panic begins to curl inside my stomach. He did, did he? I want to say but decide to hear her out. “Really?”

  “Yeah.” Erin’s happiness is making me nauseous. “Everyone needs a second chance.”

  I look over at Bradley, who’s completely ignoring the situation like I should be doing, moving farther and farther away from the drama. Either that or he’s doing a good job pretending.

  I stare blankly. I can’t help myself. “You mean he dates women to get a free ride and he told you he’s changed?” How does someone change just like that?

  “So,” she continues waving her arms around as she explains, “it was a girl who accused him of using her. She’s mad because he dumped her. He didn’t take any of her money.”

  Now I know she’s definitely lost it.

  “That company of yours has totally zapped your faith in love,” she finishes. Carefully she takes a sip of her coffee.

  “Shh! Keep your voice down!” I look around making sure no one heard, especially Bradley. “No it hasn’t. It’s opened my eyes to situations people in love are oblivious to.”

  I reach down for my vibrating BlackBerry. I resist the urge to yell at her. I can’t believe she is letting him off the hook this easy.

  Erin drags me inside the front room where there’s a little more privacy, and away from yelping dogs.

  “I can’t believe you haven’t told him yet. Let me guess-dot com business? You know, you’re like the pot calling the kettle black. Kent has a past, but he came clean. Can you say the same thing?” She shames me and shakes her head in disapproval. “Bradley has a right to know.”

  I smile, but what she said hits home. I’m no better than Kent. My friend knows me all too well, and she’s called a spade a spade. I do wonder how Bradley will feel about my job once I tell him, but I can’t worry about that right now. I have to figure out if Kent is using Erin or not. Plus if I think about Kent, I don’t have to think about the end of my relationship with Bradley.

  “Hey!” Erin twists her head around the door and yells out. Echoes bounce off the old tile floor and white walls.

  “What?” I look around her shoulder to see who she’s yelling at.

  “That’s her.” She points in the direction of a completely empty hall. “Did you see her?”

  I strain my neck looking down the empty hallway. “That’s who? I don’t see anyone.”

  “Great, thanks Olivia.” Erin’s frown is deep, and her forehead’s crinkled. She points down the hollow hall. “I think I’m hallucinating. There was a girl there.”

  “What girl? I didn’t see a girl.” I look back down the hallway to confirm. Totally deserted. Bradley isn’t even around. He must’ve gotten bored waiting for our little pow-wow to be over.

  Erin looks concerned, but she shrugs it off and looks the other way. The sound of toenails tapping on the old tile makes me smile.

  “Cute dog.” Erin meets Bradley and Herbie halfway. I take one more look down the hall. No girl, only old tile that’s yellowed over time and the curly-haired silver schnauzer sniffing my shoes.

  “So I’ve talked you into getting a dog?” Bradley is pretty proud of himself.

  “We’ll see.” I smile, knowing Herbie will be right back here this time tomorrow. Politely I bend down and pat him on the head and confirm, “Just a test.”

  “You’ll fall completely in love with this little guy.” Bradley kisses me and hands me the leash.

  “Mmm, which little guy would that be?” I swear I see a spark in both his and Herbie's eyes.

  Bradley hands me a bag with enough food to keep Herbie fed over the next few days.

  “Oh, Tramp loves that food.” Erin has her nose stuck in the bag.

  “How is Tramp?” Bradley hands her a few treats to stick in there while I continue to pet Herbie. “I kinda miss the big lug around here.”

  “He’s great. Kent said he keeps him company.” Erin smiles at Herbie, and continues to look in the bag. I remember how excited she was when Plan It landed the SPCA account. She’s always wanted to help out the animals, and the annual fundraiser landed in her lap. I chalk it up to good karma. She deserves some after the crappy family hand she was dealt.

  Bradley focuses on Erin and his eyebrows narrow. “What does Kent do?”

  I pull Herbie closer to me as a pink band surrounds Erin’s usual crystal aura. It’s no secret who she’s being nice about—Kent.

  She puts her head farther into the bag like she wants to crawl in it. “Um…he’s between jobs right now.”

  I carefully watch the bantering auras between my two favorite people. Blue versus pink. Blue wins! “Hey I can always use another volunteer around here and he can bring Tramp.”

  “Yeah, I’ll tell him.” But by the tone of Erin’s voice, I think she might forget this conversation and I can’t shake the uneasy feeling I have.

  ***

  Erin leaves the SPCA ahead of me to get a table at the restaurant while I take Herbie home. I laugh as he hesitates to jump into the Toyota.

  “I know boy.” I run my hand along the top of his silky head and then pat the seat. He jumps in like a champ. “Your kennel is nicer.”

  I roll the window down so he can hang his head into the air as we drive, but he just curls up on the seat and looks at me with his big brown eyes. My heart melts. I already know it’s going to be tough to take him back to the SPCA. Bradley was right. How does he know me better than I know myself? I put the window down a little more to coax him, but nothing.

  “Listen Herbie, you better take advantage of what works in this car.” Because the only thing working is the automatic windows. I hit the dash just in time to hear the new Eminem song. And off we go.

  Herbie gets up and looks out the window when I pull into my driveway.

  “We’re home.” I laugh watching his little stub of a tail wag back and forth. I open the door and he jumps out, trotting like he’s been here before.

  “Hey, hey!” I snap my fingers trying to detour Herbie from peeing on all the flowers I’ve planted along the white picket fence. “Come on.”

  I herd him into the yard and shut the gate behind me.

  “How much pee can you have in you?” I ask in disbelief as he continues to go around to every bush, blade of grass, flowers and the ornamental rocks.

&n
bsp; I’ve taken a lot of time in creating a beautiful yard, all the way down to the window boxes. At least he can’t pee on those. Is this what happens when you own a dog?

  Yep, I watch him shower my gnome, he’s definitely going back.

  Worried, I stay on Herbie’s heels as he runs around the house, and smells all the piles of clothes, trying to figure out where he is. As much as I hate to admit it, he really does look at home sitting on the couch among the clothes, and he isn’t complaining about the mess, which no matter how I try, never goes away.

  I make a quick water bowl from the only remaining clean dish in the place. He jumps down and begins to sniff it. He takes a few licks and looks up at me with a wet beard.

  “You are cute.” I quickly rub him and make a mental note to pick up a dog bowl.

  My heart tugs. I don’t want to leave him here alone, but I have to meet Erin for lunch and get her on the straight and narrow.

  He yelps when I shut the door, and he begins to bark. Halfway down the cobblestone walk, I turn around and laugh. Herbie is standing the in the bay window looking like a child yelling at his mother.

  I wave. “Bye, buddy.”

  I don’t have time to feel guilty about a dog. I jump in my car and start to prepare my speech for Erin.

  I’m hungry, tired, and now worried about why Erin is still in love with a guy I’m getting uncertain vibes from. Plus I have to go talk to Michael, and give the file to Carl.

  I pull in next to Erin’s Lexus, her pride and joy. She said, “If people are going to have me plan their parties, I have to show up in something professional.”

  I look up in time to see Carl coming out of the restaurant. Fiddling with my phone is the best strategy to keep my head down so he doesn’t recognize me. I want to give him the file on my terms. Not his.

  When the coast is clear, I head in and spot Erin in the back corner booth. She still has the same happy face she had this morning. And it’s time I find out the truth behind it.

  My phone gives a steady stream of email notifications as I slid into the booth.

  “Let me see.” Erin leans across the table and tries to read my emails upside down. “What’s the reason now for the latest split on Splitsville.com?”