Utterly Wicked: Curses, Hexes & Other Unsavory Notions

by Dorothy Morrison

  Pants A’Fire Spell

  Use to curse a liar and to expose his or her lies to the rest of the world.

  Materials:

  1 new pair underwear related to the gender of the target

  Black permanent marker

  1 tsp. black pepper

  1 cotton ball

  Rubbing alcohol

  Hot sauce

  A few thorns, thistles, nettles, or sticker burs

  Length of black ribbon or yarn

  Cauldron or fire-proof container

  Using the black marker, write the target’s name in the crotch area of the underwear. Sprinkle the area liberally with hot sauce, then add the pepper and thorns. Add a few drops of rubbing alcohol to the cotton ball and place it on top. Now fold the underwear several times to secure the ingredients, and tie the bundle tightly with the black yarn or ribbon.

  Place the bundle in the cauldron or fire-proof container, and set it on fire, chanting as it burns:

  Liar, liar, pants on fire!

  Tongue that wags, add to the pyre!

  With this flame that licks and lights,

  The truth shall come forth pure and bright.

  The world shall see you as you are:

  Spreading lies both near and far,

  I have had enough of you

  And this curse, you can’t undo:

  Every time you start to lie

  Your ass will burn, your eyes will cry;

  Your tongue will still inside your lips

  Each and every time you slip.

  Only when you tell what’s true

  Shall this curse not bother you!

  When the ashes are cool, scatter them in an open field or at a crossroads.

  Gossip Gagging Hex

  Materials:

  Photograph or likeness of the target (Draw a simple face if you have to.)

  Black thread

  Sharp needle

  Thread the needle and use it to sew the lips of the likeness together with a series of cross stitches. As you sew, chant:

  Your lips are sealed and cannot spew

  Gossip like they used to do.

  No more talking out of turn,

  No more pretending mere concern,

  No more wagging of your tongue,

  Nor babble from your mouth be sprung.

  Sewn and gagged, your lips stay still

  Both day and night as I do will.

  Fold the likeness in half twice, and stitch the edges closed. When you’ve finished, either bury it as close to the target’s property as possible or in a pot of dirt outside your home.

  MATTERS OF THE HEART

  To Bring Back an Errant Lover

  Materials:

  1 T. mistletoe

  Red bag with drawstring closure

  Red pen

  Paper

  Using the red pen, draw two intersecting hearts on the paper. Write your name on one heart and your lover’s on the other. Sprinkle the mistletoe over the hearts, then fold the paper in half twice, and place in the bag. Close the bag securely, and tie the ends together six times. Hide the bag in your lover’s bedroom or workplace. Results usually come within nine days.

  Panties in a Knot Binding

  Materials:

  1 pair of your underwear

  1 pair of your intended’s underwear

  6 drops Oshun Oil

  On the night of the Full Moon, fold each pair of underwear into a rectangle. Place one rectangle in front of you vertically and the other across it horizontally to form a cross. Knot the ends of the pair on the bottom around the pair on the top, then flip the structure over, and repeat the process. Place three drops of Oshun Oil on each knot, saying with each drop:

  Oh Goddess of Love! Oh Lovely Oshun!

  Lend your power and strength to this magical Moon,

  And use it to bind our hearts as one,

  And our bodies as well. As I will, be it done!

  Place the binding beneath your mattress, or hide it in the drawer with your underwear.

  To Keep a Lover from Straying

  Materials:

  1 hat pin or doll needle (readily available at your local arts and crafts store)

  Use the pin to draw a heart in the center of your lover’s footprint. Then stab the heart six times, saying with each insertion:

  With me, you shall stay

  And never slip away.

  By this design

  You shall be mine,

  And never shall you stray.

  Scrape up a little dirt from the footprint, and scatter it under your bed.

  Stray No More Spell

  To keep a lover from straying, bury a photograph of him or her face down in your yard with the head pointing toward the house.

  To Obtain the Love of a Specific Person

  (Even if they’re already taken!)

  Materials:

  Poppet fashioned in your likeness

  Poppet fashioned in the target’s likeness

  1 red candle

  1 pink candle

  1 T. each rosemary, cloves, cinnamon, rose petals, basil, and ginger

  Queen Bitch Oil

  Scarlet ribbon

  1/4 yd. red velvet

  Mix the herbs together well, and divide between the body cavities of each poppet, using cotton to secure in place if necessary. Add six drops of Queen Bitch Oil to the body cavities of the target poppet. (Do NOT add this to the doll representing you!)

  Run a flame up the side of one candle, press it against the other candle to hold them together, and light both wicks. Then secure the poppets together face-to-face with the scarlet ribbons by wrapping them in crisscross fashion. As you wrap, chant:

  Herbs of love and hot desire

  Set (name of target)’s heart and loins afire.

  Fire of love and sex and passion,

  Light (name of target)’s heart—jolt him/her into action.

  Tied hand to hand and heart to heart,

  We shall be and never part.

  And all his/her love s/he’ll bring to me,

  As I will, so mote it be.

  Secure the ribbon wrapping by tying a bow, and place in front of the candles until they burn out. Wrap the dolls in the red velvet and place beneath your bed.

  Love Potion #9

  Materials:

  1 oz. vodka

  1 oz. bourbon

  1 oz. sloe gin

  1 T. Galliano

  Orange juice

  3 maraschino cherries

  Fill a tall glass half-full with ice, and pour in the vodka, bourbon, and sloe gin. Finish filling with orange juice, stir well, and say:

  Burning passion! Fiery lust!

  Infuse this potion with your thrust,

  So that s/he who drinks it shall desire

  To pleasure me and then aspire

  To keep it up ‘til satisfaction

  I have reached; and let attraction

  Fuel things further with romance,

  Aid me in this lusty dance.

  Float the Galliano on the top of the mixture, then add the cherries one by one, saying:

  Cherries, sweetly kiss this drink

  And bring (name of target) past the brink

  Of only lust. Engage his/her heart—

  Pierce it as the Cupid’s dart—

  So that s/he falls in love with me

  Sweetly, madly and passionately.

  Serve the drink to the object of your intent.

  Lady Dame’s Ex Hex

  Use this hex when an ex-spouse has done you dirty and needs to be taught a lesson.

  Materials:

  Mad Oil

  Your wedding ring

  Dirt from the home you shared together (Substitute dirt from your current home if necessary.)

  1 small wooden box (A light-weight box is best.)

  1 lancet or sharp, sterile needle

  Paper and pen

  Fire-proof container (Use the fireplace instead if you have one.)

  Place the dirt in
the box, saturate it with Mad Oil, and set it aside to soak. Now write down everything you’ve ever wanted to say to your ex-spouse. Recount every hurt, every tear, every misery. Recount all the pain s/he caused and all the anger you felt. But don’t stop there. Be sure to tell the ex what a genuine jackass s/he is and how s/he’s not even fit to eat with pigs. Don’t stop until you’ve gotten it all down.

  When you’re done, place your wedding ring on top of the paper, and fold it into a packet so that the writing and the ring are on the inside. Then using the lancet or needle, prick your finger, and drip three drops of blood onto the packet. Place the packet in the box on top of the soil and say:

  From when we met the love bloomed,

  It filled our hearts, it filled our room,

  But now our time is come and gone,

  You will be the one alone!

  Place the box in the fire-proof container or fireplace, and set it on fire. When the box and its contents are reduced to ash, either let the ring cool and mail it to your ex, or toss the ring and ashes into a river and wash the mess out of your life.

  Erectile Dysfunction Hex

  Materials:

  Length of red cord or ribbon

  Measure your lover’s penis, and cut the cord length to the measurement. Starting at the center of the cord, tie nine equidistant knots, saying with each one:

  With this knot to me you’re tied,

  Only for me shall you rise,

  Only for me shall you grow,

  And if wild oats you try to sow,

  Limp and flaccid you shall be

  Until you come back home to me.

  Carry the cord with you at all times, and your lover won’t be able to perform in another woman’s bed.

  Faithful Female Spell

  Materials:

  High John the Conqueror root

  Sugar

  Cayenne pepper

  Set the coffee grinder to fine, then dump in the ingredients, and blend for ten to fifteen seconds. Sprinkle a bit of the powder around your lover’s bed, and toss the rest beneath it, saying over and over:

  Sure as on two feet you stand

  My every wish is your command,

  Sure as on your back you lay

  You’re true to me both night and day.

  PAY BACK TIME

  Yemaya’s Fish Dinner Hex

  Materials:

  1 whole fish

  Cane syrup (Be sure this is made from sugar cane and is not corn syrup!

  If cane syrup is not available in your area, substitute white cane sugar.)

  Plastic container with a snap-on lid large enough to accommodate the fish

  Black pen

  Paper

  7 straight pins (If using pins with colored heads, use blue and white only.)

  7 dimes

  Using the black pen, make a list of all your enemies and stuff it in the fish’s mouth. Add the dimes and pin it closed securely. Pour enough cane syrup or sugar over the fish to coat it well, then offer it to Yemaya, saying:

  Yemaya, I call on You

  To bring these folks what they have due.

  Their just desserts is what I ask,

  Yemaya, take them to task.

  And as a gift to seal the deal,

  I offer You this lovely meal.

  Snap the lid onto the container, and repeat the request to Yemaya each day for seven days. On the eighth day, remove the fish from the container—yeah...it’s going to smell awful—throw it into the ocean, and blow a kiss to Yemaya. (If you don’t live in close proximity to the sea, sprinkle the fish with a handful of salt, and dispose of it in a body of fresh water.)

  Full Circle Curse

  Hold your right arm above your head with your index finger pointing upward, and move it counter-clockwise in a circular motion while chanting:

  I vow before this day is done

  Before the setting of the Sun

  That all you say and all you do

  Will fly directly back at you.

  And all that hurt and all that pain

  And all the anguish it contains

  Shall rain on you like pelting hail

  And take you down by forceful gale.

  Hex of the Nine-Patch

  Materials:

  Black pen

  Black skull candle

  Black ribbon or yarn

  Fire-proof dish

  Letter-size sheet of paper

  Place the candle in the dish, and light it while thinking of how much misery your enemy has caused you. Draw the nine-patch on the paper (see illustration below).

  Then write your target’s name three times across each horizontal row of squares. Visualize your enemy’s every effort coming to naught, and see his or her power waning. Then say:

  I take the things you’ve done to me

  And return them to you at three times three.

  Nine times the agony, nine times the pain,

  Nine times the misery, nine times the bane,

  Nine time worse than you’ve ever known,

  Feel nine times the horror right down in your bones.

  Feel nine times more weakness than you’ve ever felt,

  Feel nine times more sickness than you’ve ever dealt.

  Feel nine times more wretched for sowing the seeds

  That brought on this hex and your harvest of weeds.

  Your every attempt comes to naught with this spell,

  Your efforts are useless—not a thing turns out well—

  By this patch of nine, numbered three squares by three,

  Your fate is now sealed. As I will, it shall be!

  Place the sheet of paper beneath the dish, and leave it there until the candle extinguishes itself. Then scrape any leftover wax onto the paper. Fold the paper into thirds, then into thirds again, and secure it with the black ribbon or yarn by tying the ends into nine knots.

  When you’ve finished preparing the packet, bury it in the ground—preferably on your target’s property or as close to that property as possible. If burying it isn’t a possibility but gaining access to your target’s property is, hide it among their possessions. Possibilities might include hiding it under the doormat, in a potted plant, behind a piece of furniture, or in a desk drawer.

  To Fix a Trouble Maker

  Materials:

  1 large lime

  2 nails

  Pen and paper

  White vinegar

  Salt

  Matches or lighter

  Cauldron or fire-proof dish

  Scissors

  Jar with a tight-fitting, screw-on lid

  Write the target’s name on the paper, cut it out close to the lettering, then burn the rest of the paper to ash in the cauldron or fire-proof dish. While the ashes cool, score the lime into quarters, cutting the fruit about three-quarters of the way through. Fold the name in half twice, and insert it deeply into the lime, saying:

  Your antics and your tricks go sour,

  Starting now: This very hour.

  Pin the lime sections securely with the nails to form an X, saying:

  X marks the spot where you are held

  And all the trouble you have spelled

  For me is trapped along with you

  No matter what you try to do.

  Drop the lime into the jar, then dump the ashes and a handful of salt on top, saying:

  I thwart your efforts—all shall fail—

  By salt and ash and lime and nail.

  Cover the mixture with vinegar, and say:

  With vinegar, I complete this mix,

  Finally, screw the lid on tightly and say:

  And seal you in: This trick is fixed.

  Shake the jar enough times to blend the mixture thoroughly, then place the jar on a dark shelf in your home.

  IRS Audit Hex

  Rather than being designed to exact permanent damage, this hex is geared more toward keeping the target busy enough to stay out of your life and stop interfering in your business!

  M
aterials:

  1 orange candle

  Queen Bitch Oil

  Page 1 of the current Form 1040 (download it from: www.irs.gov www.irs.gov)

  Red marker

  Pen

  Download and print the form, then add the target’s name and address in the appropriate places. (If you don’t have the target’s complete address, that’s all right. Just add the city and state information.) Now write FULL AUDIT across the form in large capital letters with the red marker.

  Anoint the candle with the oil, and place it securely in a candle holder. Place the form face up in front of you and the candle in the center of it saying:

  (Name of target), you haven’t had enough to do

  And interfered in things that you

  Had no business messing in

  So now your busy time begins:

  With an audit, you are blessed

  With five returns or more accessed.

  You have time for nothing more

  With IRS folks at your door,

  Breathing down your neck all day,

  Wanting proof and stubs of pay,

  Asking for receipts for those

  Deductions and those gifts bestowed.

  A full audit for (name of target), I demand,

  Spirits, act on this command.

  Bring this audit immediately,

  I will it, want it—and it shall be.

  Leave the form where it is until the candlewick burns out, then bury or hide it in close proximity to the IRS office or a building where taxes are collected. (If you don’t have a local IRS office, good alternatives are the local Tax Assessor’s office or courthouse.)

  PINS AND NEEDLES

  While the use of poppets was covered in Chapter 3, pin and needle insertions in conjunction with their use was not. Of course, if the intent is to cause illness, locating the proper insertion point is just a matter of common sense. However, other key insertion points are often overlooked. And it’s to that end that a brief list follows below for your convenience.

  Mouth: To keep someone from spreading lies, speaking ill of you, or to hold gossip at bay, insert nine pins in the mouth.

  Buttocks: To keep someone from taking your job, place three pins in each buttock cheek.