My Once and Future Love

by Carla Krae

  “I don’t work as fast as you do, Jacob. Please, at least give me--”

  “Okay. Can I call you, or take you out tonight?”

  “I’ll call you. Thanks for the ride home.” I leaned over to kiss his cheek. He turned his face so we touched lips again. “Goodnight, Jacob.”

  I got out and shut the door before I changed my mind. Two steps up the walk, I heard his door open.

  “A gentleman escorts the lady to her door.”

  “Dragging out every second, aren’t you?”

  “Didn’t I always?”

  The porch light wasn’t on. I must’ve forgotten to flip it on again when Celeste rushed me out the door. “Well, goodnight. Again.”

  He was too close in the dark. “Do I get a goodnight kiss?”

  “If I do that, I might invite you in.”

  “I don’t see a problem with that.”

  God, he smelled good. “Jacob…”

  “Alright.” He backed up. “Call me tomorrow? Please?”

  I turned my key in the lock. “That pout doesn’t work on me anymore. Go home!”

  He smiled, undaunted, and walked backwards to his car. Shaking my head, I went inside before I could get in trouble. Only after the door was latched and both locks turned did I relax, slowly exhaling.

  This called for ice cream and my best friend. Phone in one hand and Fudge Brownie in the other, I dialed her cell.

  “Mmm, yellow?”

  “Are you alone?” I asked. “You usually don’t answer the phone with color names.”

  “Hold on.” There was the hum and murmur of voices in the background, then I heard her breathe. “Okay, what’s up?”

  “Maybe I’ll call back in the morning.”

  “No, no, I’m here for you. What happened with Mr. Rich and Gorgeous?”

  “We talked…”

  “And?”

  “He wants to get back together. Try again. But you probably caught that at the limo.”

  “That kiss was hot. Go on.”

  “So…” I swallowed a bite of chocolate. “He says he loves me.”

  “Get out! He just broke into declarations?”

  “Not abruptly. We straightened some stuff out. And there was more kissing.”

  “How was it? Toe-curling, mind-bending, panty-melting…?”

  “Celeste!”

  “Did you jump him?”

  “No! Of course not!”

  “Beth, come on. When are you going to find better, huh? He’s seen you at your geekiest and still liked you. He’s gorgeous, rich, and has a voice that makes all women quiver. And he loves you even though you’re a stubborn know-it-all who really needs to have more fun. Take the bull by the horns and claim the man!”

  “Whose side are you on? You don’t know him. The public doesn’t know all his mistakes.”

  “Yet you do and you’ve loved him since you were still in a training bra. Don’t deny it. Sweetie, all your excuses are just delaying the inevitable. You have to take a risk some time or you’re going to end up alone.”

  “Says the perpetual bachelorette.”

  “Hey, I married my career, but I still don’t sleep alone if I don’t want to. My way makes me happy. I just want to see you happy, too.”

  I knew she did. “I don’t know…what if I get back in there and I’m just arm candy after a couple months? I couldn’t take it if he got…bored or something.”

  “You’re afraid of repeating the past.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Well, you’ll never know if you don’t give him a chance to prove himself. You’ve said he’s been different since your accident.”

  “I hate it when you’re right.”

  “I know,” she said merrily. “Call him.”

  “I’ll sleep on it.”

  “Beth…”

  “Thanks. Later!” I hung up before she could argue and set the answering machine to pick up automatically. Yeah, it was cowardly, but for now, I was okay with that.

  The next day, Jacob sent flowers. Lots of flowers. It was flattering, but couldn’t he let a girl breathe?

  “Mr. Lindsey, please,” I requested over the phone.

  His PA ran interference. “Um, he’s busy at the moment. If I could take a message--”

  “He’s expecting my call. I know he’s home.”

  “Y-yes ma’am.”

  Rolling my eyes, I waited. Good help was so hard to find.

  ****

  He took the phone handed to him. “Jake, here.”

  “Look, the roses are lovely, but please give me some space, okay?”

  “I’m so glad you called, love. I want to--”

  “Jacob, hush. I just wanted to tell you the flowers aren’t necessary. They’re not helping.”

  “Sorry. I just wanna…well, you know. Goin’ out of my mind, baby. I couldn’t sleep. Beth--”

  “I know. I know. Be patient. Please? I will call you, I promise.”

  “Okay.”

  “Alright. I’m going to hang up now.”

  He put the phone down when he heard the “click”. God, this was hard. Comforting and terrifying to put his hear in Beth’s hands…even with the distance, the years, and all that happened, he knew her, and giving her time to think could easily backfire. She was like a skittish little rabbit, ready to disappear into the underbrush at the speed of light.

  ****

  Two days. I made lists and analyzed it to death until there was nothing left to do but decide yes or no. Locking myself in my room with the phone, I dialed Jacob’s cell.

  “Beth?” He picked up on the first ring.

  Biting back a giggle, I asked, “Have you been answering the phone like that every time it rings?”

  “No…” Implying the opposite.

  “I’m ready to meet somewhere.”

  “How about my place?”

  “No, um…some place neutral.”

  “Okay…a restaurant or something?”

  “The park near here. It should be pretty empty this time of day. See you in twenty minutes.” Feeling safer if I kept it short, I ended the call.

  ****

  He remembered the park. She’d be waiting for him on the swings. When his concentration failed during a study session and he couldn't stay still any longer, she'd suggest a walk to this park a block away from their houses and they'd sit on the swings and sway while they talked. He scared her half to death many times over by flipping off that swing.

  He parked the car and put on the baseball cap he wore when trying not to be recognized. The sun sat low enough not to shine over the rooftops anymore, so he left his sunglasses inside. He smiled when he saw her at full pump on the swing. She wore jeans, a suede jacket, and her hair in a ponytail.

  "Does it still feel like flying?"

  "Find out for yourself," she invited him.

  He sat down in the swing next to hers. "Is this your plan so I can't touch you?"

  “I wanted to ask you something.”

  He pushed off with his feet, the swing swaying lazily. "Anything."

  “Why do you think it’ll work this time?”

  “Does that mean I don’t have a chance?”

  She slowed her swing. “Well, either you’re still reckless, or you had a clue I wouldn’t turn you down.”

  “No risk, no reward, but does it matter? You said you had to think about it.” He got up and grabbed the chains of her swing to bring it to a stop. "Beth, you kissed me back."

  "So what if I did? It'd been a long time since I'd been kissed."

  It was the wrong thing to say if she didn’t want him to kiss her again.

  ****

  How someone could be so insistent and so tender at the same time, I couldn't comprehend. He released me only when we needed breath, leaning his forehead into mine.

  "Tell me, Beth."

  My heart pounding in my ears, I looked into his eyes, bare and open for the first time in who-knew-how-long. "I want to go slow," I whispered. "I don't know if I can handl
e all the media attention.” Dealing with Jacob’s intensity would be plenty.

  "But you'll be my girl?"

  I nodded.

  He whooped and lifted me into the air, spinning around, then pulled me into another stunning kiss as soon as my feet touched the ground.

  "I can't wait to tell the guys. Aaron bet me a hundred dollars you'd turn me down."

  "Jacob...slow. That means not blabbing our status. I want to know if we even work like this before anyone else starts sticking their nose in."

  He sobered a little. "You still don't trust me."

  “It isn’t that. I trust you won’t try to hurt me now, but it’s been a long time since either of us had a relationship.”

  "Most of them were looking for something temporary. It’s different with you.”

  “We both have to travel for our jobs all the time. You know long distance is hard."

  "We'll make it work. I want to make it work. You hear me?"

  I nodded, eyes wide. Speaking with such conviction, he was very hard to say no to like this. The doubts in my head couldn't be quieted in an instant, but I could give him the time to try.

  "Come over tonight.”

  I rolled my eyes. "Pretty sure of yourself, aren’t you?"

  "On the contrary, I was going out of my mind waitin’ for you. If you turned me down, I wanted to drink away my sorrows."

  “That isn’t funny.”

  “I’m sorry. I was kidding.”

  “So, we’re not one break-up away from you becoming an alcoholic?”

  “There will be no headlines.”

  “Good.”

  He kissed me again.

  It took some pleading and cajoling to get me to follow him home. I was nervous about being in private with him so soon. Despite what my hormones liked to say, I didn't want to jump into bed immediately just because we were now together.

  The hotter things burned, the quicker they fizzled out...or something like that.

  He took my hand when I pushed open my car door.

  “What made you choose this house?”

  He shrugged. "I dunno...it's in a quiet neighborhood, smaller, more manageable... Got it for a relative song since the owner was leaving the state." He paused to unlock the front door.

  I instantly caught the aroma of lasagna when the door swung open and looked at him with an arched brow.

  "So sure you'd get me back here tonight. I should be upset with you."

  He batted his eyes. "Who, me? I just told Maria I'd be home for dinner."

  "Uh-huh. She just coincidentally made my favorite dish of hers?"

  He was saved from answering by Maria bustling out of the kitchen. "Miss Beth! Oh, my goodness, you look lovely. It's been too long since you paid me a visit, you know. Come, sit. We have much to catch up on. You know, I pick up the magazine every month to see your pictures."

  Maria wrapped her arm around my waist and led me to the table, Jacob shaking his head. She could talk anyone's ear off if they let her.

  "I'm sure Beth would like to be off her feet for a bit, hmm?"

  Truth be told, I preferred staying in the kitchen. Maria was a good buffer for Jacob's intensity.

  "Actually, I am thirsty..."

  He crossed to the refrigerator in an instant. "What would you like, love? Soda, bottled water, a little wine..."

  "Water is fine." Really, he should remember not to offer me alcohol…though he’d probably like the results.

  I watched Maria pull Jacob into helping with dinner. Their dynamic had become much more "mother-son" than "employer-employee" in the months since I left. Maria treated Jacob no differently than her boys except for calling him “Mr. Lindsey”. How lonely he must be without all the hired help buzzing around him in the new house. He thrived on activity, so for him to choose only one staff member was confusing.

  She must have cooked all afternoon. There was garlic bread, a salad, the lasagna, and a fruit tart for dessert. The kitchen looked the same from my dream, except for paint and my personal touches of photographs and flowers. It was a big, beautiful space if you liked to cook.

  "I keep telling him to at least pick some paint. These white walls are so boring. Maybe you'll have more luck," she said.

  I shook off my thoughts. "I'm sure he'll give the house more attention once the tour is over, Maria. As long as he doesn't paint the walls black again, it'll be fine."

  "That was my bedroom for one summer, and it's all she remembers."

  I laughed at his scowl. "It was like walking into a cave! How could I possibly forget the black hole?"

  "All summer long, it was ‘When are you going to get rid of this depressing color?’ nagging me worse than Mum," he complained in falsetto to imitate my voice. He grinned, then, an evil one. "At least it wasn't pastel pink."

  "My dad picked that color. I didn't have a say in it. But at least I didn't have glow-in-the-dark sheets."

  "They were leftover from when I was ten! I used them once when the washer was broken, Miss Head Gear."

  My jaw dropped. "You promised you wouldn't mention that ever again!" I turned to Maria. "I had to wear a thing at night for a while because I ground my teeth in my sleep. He wasn't supposed to see it, but he got nosy."

  "You showed my magazines to my mother," he countered.

  "She had a right to know her little boy wasn't an angel. Besides, you deserved it for ditching me at school to go feel up Susie McIntyre."

  "Jealous?"

  "No."

  He grinned and sauntered over for a kiss, then whispered something in my ear that made me blush beet-red.

  "Where did Maria go?" I asked.

  He turned his head and saw we were alone. "Huh. Didn't know she could be that quiet. Looks like this feast is just for you and me, love."

  I gulped. The moment was suddenly very couple-y. Dinner for the two of us, sitting across from each other in a quiet house...that sense of panic rose up in my throat again. Why did Maria have to leave?

  I rose from my seat. "Well, that's just silly. There's enough for an army. She doesn't need to eat in her room."

  Maria made a good buffer to catch up without wading into the waters of "why I left" and "how much did he change". When we were through eating, Jacob insisted she was done for the night and we would put everything away. I couldn’t believe it. I’d never seen Jacob volunteer for a chore in his life.

  "Who are you and what have you done with Jacob Lindsey?" I teased.

  "Huh? I don't follow, love."

  "You volunteered to load the dishwasher. I've never seen you do that in thirteen years."

  Embarrassed, he glanced down. "Like I said a while ago--it was time for me to grow up. I never set out to be a selfish prick. It just kinda happened."

  I squeezed his hand. "I know.”

  He raised my hand to his lips and kissed my fingers. "Thank you."

  I smiled in return and slipped out of his grasp to continue rinsing the dishes. After handing him a few, I looked in the dishwasher. "No, not like that! You have to organize it, or stuff won't get clean. Here."

  He stepped back and leaned against the counter, grinning at me.

  "What?"

  "You're cute."

  "Loading the dishwasher is cute?" That settled it. He hit his head recently.

  "No, you with the bossy domestic goddess routine are cute. It's homey."

  "Well, don't expect it to be a habit. But if you left the glasses in that way, they'd get broken."

  He snagged my belt-loop and tugged me forward. "Duly noted. It's been too long since I kissed you."

  I turned my face so he ended up kissing the corner of my mouth.

  "Hey..."

  "It's getting late. I have a meeting in the morning."

  "So, postpone it. We only have two days before I fly out."

  I leaned back a little, since he still had hold of that belt-loop. "I can't, it's with a client. The magazine has deadlines."

  "Can't you get someone to cover for two days? Come on,
love..." he cajoled, adding the pout.

  So not fair! That lower lip was just so...bitable.

  "Jacob..." I whined.

  "You know you wanna." Damn man and his sexy voice.

  I sighed. "That isn't the point. I have responsibilities. I probably won't have to shoot anything tomorrow, though, so maybe we can have lunch."

  "I'm holding you to that." He reached out and slid the elastic holding my ponytail out of my hair, threading his fingers through the strands as they fell toward my face.

  "W-what are you doing?" I whispered. Having his hands in my hair made my scalp tingle.

  “I forgot it was this soft..." he said, still twirling a strand between his fingers. He seemed transfixed by it. "Will you wear your hair down more often, for me?"

  "Still with a hair fetish."

  "Think you have me pegged, eh?"

  "Oh, yeah."

  Those troublesome hands pulled me closer again. "And you?" he purred. "What's your secret fantasy?"

  "If you’re good, maybe one day you'll find out.”

  Every fantasy I ever dared indulge since I was fourteen featured him in some way; every sexy trick I knew was learned with him. Part of me wanted to throw down right here on the kitchen floor, but it would set a bad precedent, and I didn't want to be another of his easy girls. He wasn't making resistance easy, though. He placed sensual kisses on the inside of my wrist, his eyes locked with mine.

  "You won't tell me one, little, idea?" he coaxed.

  I bit back a moan when he grazed his teeth across my pulse point. "Not on the first date."

  "Is that what we're having..."

  "Aren't we?" I asked, my voice catching.

  "Well, usually I'd take you out, love, not bring you home." He leaned close to my ear. "Home is for...dessert.”

  I swatted him on the chest, spell broken. "You're so bad."

  He hummed in agreement. "But you like it."

  I glanced at the wall clock. "I really should be getting home."

  He sighed. "Right...your meeting. Are you sure you can't ditch with me?"

  I shook my head. "Not on short notice. But, I'll tell the boss I'm MIA until you leave Friday. Thank you for dinner."

  "Thank Maria. I just mentioned I might be bringing you back with me. I'm glad you came."

  It swelled my heart to see him smile at me like that, like I'd given him something special. "Me, too."