Secret Desire

by Gwynne Forster

  “I looked all over for him,” an attractive fortyish woman who stood nearby said to her female companion.

  “I asked Mrs. Armstrong if he’d showed up, and she said he was out on the back porch, probably asleep, since he hates parties,” the woman replied.

  “Asleep? In that case I wasted my time coming here. I’ve been dying to meet that man. Girl, if I ever get my hands on that hunk, he can look out.”

  The snicker that followed would have discouraged most women. “Honey, what have you got that the rest of us don’t have? Luke Hickson is as elusive as quicksilver. Getting that man is about as easy as grabbing a handful of air.”

  Kate didn’t wait to hear more.

  Suddenly alert, Luke cocked his ear at the sound of footsteps, though he didn’t open his eyes. And then, tongues of fire leaped through him like a roaring furnace, and he braced himself. Waiting. Delicate fingers covered his eyes, barely touching his flesh. He didn’t breathe, couldn’t breathe, as he awaited the next move. His breath nearly exploded from his lungs as soft, half-parted lips caressed his own, twin butterflies sipping nectar. When he flicked his tongue against them, asking entrance, he heard a quick gasp, then rapid steps—heaven flying from his grasp. The screen door slammed, and he sprang out of the chair and went after her. She could lie if she wanted to, but he knew the wearer of that perfume. Gone was his reticence, his resolve to leave her alone. She’d whetted his appetite and kicked his libido into high gear, and he knew he wouldn’t rest until he’d caressed every centimeter of her naked flesh and lost himself in her.

  He found her in conversation with Axel Strange. “Hello, Kate. Imagine finding you in here.” He nodded to Axel. “Evening, Lieutenant.”

  Her smile shone with innocence, but that meant little to him. “You wouldn’t have been a track star at some earlier time, would you?” he asked her.

  “What does that mean?” Axel asked, his face clouded with unfriendliness. “Haven’t you noticed the lady and I are in a conversation?”

  Luke lifted his shoulder in a careless shrug and pinned Kate with a stare that he didn’t intend her to decipher. “You’ve been deep in this conversation for every bit of twenty seconds.” He winked at her. “Right, Kate? By the way, madame, that’s great perfume you’re wearing. I’d recognize it anywhere.”

  He had the pleasure of seeing her blanch and lower her eyes. “What’s the matter, Kate? Having trouble getting your tongue to work?” A grin formed on his mouth, and, to his surprise, he enjoyed her discomfort.

  “You’re in a creative mood tonight, Captain. Very imaginative,” she said, though he could tell from the lack of strength in her voice that her heart wasn’t in her little act.

  He folded his arms across his chest. “Indeed, I am. Thanks to you.” Then, to emphasize his point, he rimmed his top lip with his tongue and watched her eyes take on a smoldering haze that betrayed her awareness of him. An answering passion slammed into him. He had to get out of there. “Watch yourself, Kate, and stay out of mischief. Good night.”

  At home later that night, he sat at his desk shuffling through his mail. Frustrated and piqued that Kate had used Axel as cover for her daring act, he crushed a sheet of paper in his fist and tossed it into the wastebasket. He itched to get his hands on her—even talking to her would be better than nothing—but damned if he’d call her after that cute trick she pulled, kissing him so sweetly and then running away and staging that scene with Strange. All right, so she’d kissed him on an impulse. Why couldn’t she admit it?

  An airmail letter with a French stamp. Now what could that be? He read it a second time—an invitation to speak at the INTERPOL conference in Nairobi on ways of identifying drug couriers. His interception of a courier had effectively busted a drug ring, and he’d known the operation had gained international attention, but an invitation from INTERPOL! A detective thought twice before he turned his back on that august international crime-fighting organization. He replied, accepting the invitation, and was about to seal the envelope when he stopped, leaned back in his chair and gazed at the ceiling. What would happen to Kate and Randy if he was out of the country for ten days? And why did he care so much? All of a sudden, he could feel her lips on him, his mouth tasted of her, and the scent of her perfume came back to him fresh and strong, dancing around his nostrils and heating his blood. He let out an expletive and reached for the phone.

  She should have known Axel would be a problem, though if he realized she’d used him to mislead Luke, he didn’t voice the sentiment.

  “I’ll see you home,” he announced when she told him she had to leave.

  Not if I can avoid it, she told herself. “Thanks, Lieutenant, but I’m driving. Good night.”

  He let her know he had the tenacity of a Brahman bull—not that it surprised her. She didn’t consider him naive or insensitive, but he behaved as if he were, and she’d like to know what he was up to.

  “Then I’ll tail you. You’re in my care, and I’ll see you home.”

  Like a petulant child’s, his voice began to rise. Rather than let herself be enmeshed in a scene, she said nothing, thanked her hostess and left. Besides, she didn’t enjoy hurting anyone, and Axel didn’t deserve unkindness even though he had a penchant for annoying her.

  He followed her as she’d known he would, but he wasn’t going into her house. When she reached home, she got out of her car and walked back to him.

  “Thanks, Axel. I’m going in through the garage. Good night.”

  The muscles of his jaw worked, and his face took on a harsh veneer. She started back to her car, but he grabbed her arm.

  “Be careful, Axel. I don’t like to be touched.”

  His nostrils flared. “Do you tell Hickson that?”

  She knocked his hand off her arm and looked him in the eye. “Captain Hickson has never grabbed my arm.”

  “Have you let him touch you?”

  It was none of his business, but she couldn’t resist needling him. “He hasn’t tried to touch me, as you put it.”

  His face contorted, and she stepped back, not sure she could trust his self-control. “You want me to believe that? The guy’s the biggest womanizer in Portsmouth.”

  If Luke was, she hadn’t seen any evidence of it. She took several steps toward her car. “That’s probably all in your imagination. You can believe what you like.”

  “When can I see you again?”

  Better get it straight right now, she thought. “You and I are just friends, Lieutenant, and that’s all we can ever be.”

  All she could think of as she looked at his teeth, bared in a snarl, was the eternally angry bulldog owned by the next-door neighbor when she was a small child. She’d been scared of that dog, but Axel Strange didn’t perturb her in the least.

  “Don’t be too sure of that,” he said. “Lover Boy doesn’t stick with one woman for long. You’ll soon see where you stand.”

  She walked back to him, fists clenched and the print of her nails scoring her palms. “Why do you think I’m limited to a choice of you or him? You need to downsize your ego. Good night.” Of all the arrogance! She got in her car, slammed the door and drove into the garage. The guy needed a reality check.

  She gave silent thanks when Madge announced that Randy was asleep, pleaded a headache, and left without her usual small talk. Kate went to the refrigerator for a glass of ginger ale, but as she leaned against the kitchen counter sipping the drink, she hardly tasted it. What had gotten into her? She hadn’t meant to do more than greet Luke and spend a few minutes with the one person at the party whose company she would enjoy. But she’d looked at him, his head back, eyes closed, and his face peaceful and sweet. She’d glanced at his long legs stretched out in front of him and at the silky lashes that hid his gray eyes. It had taken less than a second, but she’d seen him there asleep and open to her whims, and her mouth found his. First came a flash of heat, and then alarm shot through her when his lips moved beneath hers, and his tongue asked for entrance into her mouth.
Unused to being aggressive with men, she’d fled.

  The phone rang and she raced to prevent it from waking Randy, hoping she wouldn’t hear Axel Strange’s voice on the other end.

  “Yes?”

  “I assume you knew I’d call.”

  She sat down and breathed deeply, steadying her nerves. “Why would I know that?”

  “Hang it all, Kate,” he said in obvious exasperation, “you wore that perfume the first time I saw you, and you’ve had it on every time I’ve seen you since then. Why did you kiss me?”

  The sudden acceleration of her heartbeat frightened her. “Wh…what do…Luke, do you think I’m the only woman who wears that perfume?”

  “You were the only one wearing it at Martha Armstrong’s house tonight. Unless you want me at your front door minutes from now, answer me. Why’d you do it?”

  “Luke, I’m…tired. Please say good night.”

  “If you’re tired, it’s because you had to tussle with Axel. You’ll learn not to play with him. But that’s what you did. You used him, and he’ll make you pay. Why did you kiss me?”

  She wasn’t a child that he could back into a corner. “You were there, and I…I wanted to.”

  She couldn’t hear his breathing accelerate. “Next time, warn me.”

  Flustered because she hadn’t thought he’d find her out, she rubbed her left side with her free hand. “There won’t be a next time.”

  His laugh came through the wire harsh and knowing. “Oh, yes, there will. You started it because you know how much I want you, and you’re going to find out how I act when a woman wants me, and what it’s like to kiss me. Count on it.”

  “Luke, please. I apologize. Let’s—”

  He interrupted. “You what? Don’t hand me any apology, lady. You want me as much as I want you, and from now on you’ll be the one who puts up the off-limits sign. I hadn’t planned it, I didn’t think it wise, and I fought it—”

  “There’s no reason for us to get involved. We can just be friends.”

  His laugh had the sound of an angry growl. “I tasted you. I want more, and I’m going to have more, with your full and joyful cooperation. I finish what I start.”

  “You didn’t start it.”

  “That’s because you ran. But you can slow down. I’m through punishing myself.”

  Her fingers rubbed her sides, and she paced back and forth. “Luke, I’ve walked that road and, except for Randy, most of what I got was unhappiness. Before we married, my husband said I was the flower of his life, but as soon as he had to tend that flower, he let it wither to nothing. He promised everything wonderful and delivered ten years of misery. What I want is irrelevant. All I need now is peace for Randy and me.”

  “That was some other man, not this one. You ought to know that if you kiss a man the way you kissed me, he’s going after you unless he’s got dead nerves and two peg legs.”

  She pulled the front bodice of her dress away from her dampened flesh, picked up a magazine that lay on the bed, and fanned rapidly. “Luke, I…You were out there alone with your eyes closed, quiet. In the dark, you seemed so vulnerable, and…helpless. I—”

  “That was in your mind, baby. I heard your footsteps coming toward me and smelled that perfume before you opened the screen door. I knew who was kissing me, and I wanted it. Otherwise, it never would have happened.”

  Abruptly he changed the subject. “I’m going to Africa in a couple of weeks, and I’m concerned about leaving you and Randy here alone, at the mercy of whoever’s pestering you. I’ll work out a plan, and I want you to follow it and see that Randy does.”

  “Luke, I don’t want any more pampering. I’ve had my fill of it.”

  “I know you’re capable of taking care of yourself, but we’re dealing with real crime here, and a determined criminal. If you’re not going to do as I say, tell me right now and I’ll cancel the trip.”

  “You wouldn’t do that!”

  “It’s my duty. Look…I…Have lunch or dinner with me tomorrow. If you’re busy then, let’s make it breakfast. I want to see you.”

  He moved like a cyclone, and she could see herself getting caught in the whirling cone of his determination. “You put a twenty-four-hour watch on the store, and Officer Cowan patrols the store regularly, so I don’t see what else I need.”

  “We’ll discuss whatever else you need when we’re together tomorrow. Suppose we make a day of it. I’ll be over for breakfast. What time?”

  “Should I have a notebook handy?”

  “For what?”

  “I wouldn’t want to forget what you have to say about what you think I need.”

  “Trust me, sweetheart, I’ll see that you don’t.”

  She knew she should end it right there. He excited her as no man ever had, and she knew she’d find all that she longed for with him, but she had a premonition that getting involved with him could bring her more pain than Nathan Middleton had ever caused her.

  She ignored her inner voice. “By nine o’clock Randy’s starving,” she said, feeling spineless.

  “Then I’ll be there at nine…if it’s all right with you, that is.”

  He had a quality of grace, a gentlemanly demeanor, even when, like now, he was overbearing. But she didn’t care that he’d pushed her a little hard; she wanted to see him every bit as much as he wanted to see her.

  She swallowed, and had to clear her throat. “It’s fine with me.”

  “You sure?”

  “If you’re asking if I’m sorry I caved in, I won’t know the answer until after tomorrow, and maybe not even then.”

  “That’s right—leave no row unhoed. Nothing like a straightforward answer to keep the record clear. We’ll make a day of it?”

  “If Randy doesn’t have a program.”

  “Come off it, woman. What kind of program can Randy have that you didn’t arrange? You don’t need an excuse, Kate. If you don’t want to see me, just say no.”

  She bristled. “How is it that you’re such a genius at vexing me? If I wanted to say no, I would. I never do anything I don’t want to do. We’re that much alike. And you stop trying to bamboozle me. See you in the morning.”

  She could feel the warmth and the enticement of his laughter through the wires, masculine and suggestive—an invitation to madness, a lure that she didn’t want to resist.

  “Way to go. I like your tinsel. With you, a man has to stay on his toes, eat his Wheaties and keep his engine fine-tuned. Till tomorrow.”

  “Tomorrow.” She stared at the phone until the operator told her to hang up. Gone was her bravery of hours earlier, when she’d parted her lips and kissed him. Shivers plowed through her as she let her mind tease her with visions of the ways in which he’d make her pay.

  Luke gazed at the food spread out on Kate’s dining-room table—plenty of everything the Yankees crammed into their stomachs, but not a biscuit in sight.

  “Kate, do you know how to make biscuits?”

  “Of course I do.”

  “And grits and sage sausage and scrambled eggs?”

  “Sure.”

  “Then—”

  “When I start eating that stuff, especially biscuits, I can’t stop, and all of it’s fattening. And don’t tell me I don’t have to start, because I can’t pass up a biscuit. I’ll make some at your place and leave while they’re baking, but not here.”

  Her lashes flew up and a soft gasp escaped her when he pulled her nose and winked at her. “I’ll buy that.”

  “Where’re we going, Captain Luke?” Randy asked when they’d finished breakfast.

  “Wherever your mother wants to go. Hop in the kitchen and help. If she cooks, you help her clean. I’d help, too, but she asked me to repair this table lamp.”

  “You’re always telling me what to do.”

  Luke put a hand on the boy’s shoulder. “If you behave the way you’re supposed to, the only words you’ll hear from me will be praise. Now, into the kitchen.”

  Randy dashed t
oward the kitchen, and he put his attention on the lamp. Not a second alone with her, and how he itched and ached to get his hands on her. Twenty minutes later she reappeared in a red blazer, navy blue miniskirt, and a pair of sandals laced to midcalf. Her hair fell loose and sexily around her shoulders. He crossed his thighs. She had to know what she did to him. He took a pad and pen from his jacket. “What’s the name of that perfume?”

  “Fendi.”

  He wrote it down. “It’s worth whatever it costs. Ready?”

  She nodded. “Could we go look at the boats?”

  “You bet. Ever been to the naval base? It’s the biggest in the country.”

  He loved to see her smile, her face sparkling, and the eyes that reminded him of a lover’s moon in spring. “I haven’t been there yet, but I’d been planning to take Randy.”

  “Can we get on a boat, Captain Luke?”

  It surprised him that Randy took his hand as they boarded The Carrie B, a paddlewheel riverboat, for a harbor tour. He pointed out the gray ladies of the United States Atlantic Fleet—nuclear-powered submarines, destroyers and aircraft carriers, great hulking figures that seemed out of place against the bright modern buildings that graced the shoreline.

  “What’s on your mind, Kate?” he whispered while Randy gaped at a mammoth aircraft carrier, lost in the wonder of it.

  When she didn’t respond, he realized that she, too, was caught up in the magic of the setting as the sun’s rays bounced off the green, gray and black-shaded skyscraper windows and danced in rainbow like colors against the fleet of ships.

  He took her hand and relaxed when she let him hold it, but he didn’t consider that cause for overconfidence. This wasn’t a woman who allowed her libido to dictate the terms of her life; she was as capable as he of turning her back on something she wanted. With gentle pressure, he squeezed her fingers until she looked into his eyes and smiled, and he thought he’d die from the furious pounding of his runaway heart. Her unsuccessful attempt to shift her gaze from his fueled his need, and when she parted her lips and her breathing accelerated, frissons of heat shot through him. She must have seen the signs of his rising passion, for she dropped his hand, rushed to Randy, and put an arm around the boy’s shoulders.