Secret Desire

by Gwynne Forster

  “Look, Captain Luke, a submarine’s coming up out of the water.”

  He joined them at the railing as the huge, gray vessel broke through the water. Again, Randy took his hand, and he wondered at the child’s impulse. Kate wouldn’t look at him, and the scene gave him an uneasy feeling, a portent of things to come. The Carrie B eased back to shore, but Randy didn’t want to get off.

  “You must learn to obey your mother and stop giving her a hard time,” Luke told him. “She’s trying to take care of you, so you cooperate with her.”

  Randy whirled around and glared at him. “My daddy never talked to me like that. I don’t like for you to tell me what to do.”

  “Mind your manners, Randy,” Kate said.

  If she wants to raise that boy to be a respectable man, Luke thought, she wouldn’t do it that way.

  He looked at Kate. “I’d wanted us to spend the day together. But I’m not taking another ride on this boat, and I don’t allow children to sass me with impunity, so I’ll see you another time.”

  “We’re getting off this boat now,” she said through clenched teeth, “and Randy is going to apologize to you.”

  “Aw, Mom.”

  “This minute, Randy, or my hand is going to your behind.”

  “I’m s-sorry, Captain Luke.”

  He could hardly believe it when Randy’s hand grasped his again. “Apology accepted, Randy.” He’d like to know Randy’s method of controlling his father, because if that was what he’d done. Well, it wouldn’t work with him.

  Kate sat across from Randy and Luke in a booth at Seaman’s Little Nook in Olde Towne, chosen because the management advertised its friendliness to families with children. She thought it peculiar that Randy had elected to sit with Luke rather than her, but didn’t say so.

  “How long will you be away, Luke?”

  His gray-eyed gaze, warm and sensuous, sent her blood flying through her veins. “Ten days, at best. Lieutenant Strange will be in charge in my absence.”

  Randy grabbed Luke’s arm. “No. You can’t. I don’t like him, and I’m not going to make rounds for him.”

  “The seniors are counting on you, Randy. As for Strange, he knows how to run the shop. He’s done it before.”

  “But he doesn’t like for us kids to go to the precinct, and besides, he brought my mom a whole lot of smelly flowers. I don’t like him.”

  For a second, Luke focused his gaze on her eyes. Then he shrugged and turned his attention to Randy. “Remember, you’re leader of your group and responsible for its members. I expect a good report.”

  Ten days under the microscopic protection of Axel Strange. If she could afford it, she’d take an out-of-town vacation.

  As if answering her unarticulated prayers, Luke asked her, “Want to go to Caution Point with me next weekend?”

  Before she could answer, Randy asked, “Me, too?”

  “Captain Luke and I will have to discuss that, Randy.” She prepared herself for his usual pouting, but he surprised her.

  “I guess I could stay with Miss Madge, except I’m starting to hate Bugs Bunny. He’s all she ever wants to watch.”

  Randy raced to his room to play computer games, and she sat with Luke in her living room, her nerves as steady as a leaf in a hurricane. His warm thigh touched her leg, the rough cotton of his trousers brushing the flesh that her miniskirt exposed. She stopped herself from rubbing her arms and placed her hands in her lap. A glance told her that if he looked, he could see the hardened tips of her breasts, and she started to get up, but he restrained her.

  “You’re bold and brazen when you think you can get away with it, but now that I’m touching you, you’re hardly breathing. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were a novice where men are concerned.” Still holding her hand, he stood. “Did you give Strange a reason to bring you flowers?”

  She’d wondered why he hadn’t mentioned it. “You know that man well enough to understand that he doesn’t need anybody’s reason but his own.”

  “I take it that was a no.”

  She nodded. “He surprised me.”

  “Yeah. I’ll just bet he did. He’ll spring one on you again, too.” He stared into her eyes. “I’m not going to compete with one of my men, and that’s all I have to say about this.”

  Still holding her hand, he started toward the door, and she prayed her rubber legs wouldn’t betray the wildness that had suddenly caught her as she wondered if he’d kiss her, and prayed that he wouldn’t. Heat gathered in her like a mass of smelting ore, increasing in temperature as they got closer to her foyer.

  There, in the dim light with barely inches between them, he turned to her. “Whatever you wanted to do to me last night, you can do now with my permission and full cooperation.”

  “It’s…it’s not sporting to…to embarrass me like this.”

  “Is it sporting to kiss a man when you have him at a disadvantage?”

  “I…Luke, please. What do you want from me?”

  Every atom of her body plunged into a frenzy when the smoldering fire of desire suddenly blazed to life in his eyes. “You know what I want. I want you in my arms. If you don’t want to be there, tell me this minute before this thing roars out of control.”

  “It’s not a matter of what I want. I have to fend for myself and Randy, and that means not being involved with a man.”

  “The two are unrelated,” he growled. “You knew when you kissed me that this minute would come. Put your arms around me, Kate.”

  She wanted to. Oh, how she wanted to hold him. But she couldn’t make herself move. “I…Luke, for heaven’s sake!” His hands. The feel of his strong fingers on her body. Stroking, caressing. Her hands went to his shoulders, and he pulled her to him. If he’d only…She thought she’d explode if he didn’t. And then with one arm around her hips and the other across her shoulders, he brought her up to him.

  “Kate, kiss me. Open your mouth and kiss me.”

  Her lips quivered, and a sweet weakness stole over her as she gave in to him. Tension gathered in her, but she fought for possession of herself. Finally, she knew the touch of his lips, and tremors streaked through her. She thought she’d been kissed, but she’d hardly parted her lips when his velvet tongue slid into her mouth as he held her head still. Hot needles of desire shot to her love tunnel, and still she tried to hold back, to prevent his knowing how he affected her. Then he set her on her feet, spread his legs and locked her to him. She couldn’t stand it any longer. Her hand went to his buttocks, straining him to her while his tongue frolicked in her mouth, learning her, finding its home and staking its claim. She felt the perspiration that beaded her forehead and knew she should stop him, but his tongue stroked in and out of her mouth, telling her how he wanted to make her feel, and a heavy ache began in her breasts, sensations she’d never known. She grabbed his hand and placed it on her right breast, and had to muffle a cry when his fingers began to pinch, stroke and tease. Her whimpers must have told him that she needed more, for he fumbled at the buttons of her blouse. And, like a shameless woman, she helped him. Seconds later she moaned in relief and frustration as his lips closed over one aureole and sucked until she moved against him.

  She had to stop him—but the feeling, oh, the blessed feeling! She wanted it to last, and…a strange throbbing took hold of her body, and she gasped. Stunned, he brought his head up and looked at her.

  “What happened. Did I…I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

  It was the moment she needed. “No. I…It wasn’t you. It was—”

  She couldn’t look at him, and she wouldn’t; if he knew what had just happened to her, there was no telling what he’d think. She wished she wouldn’t tremble, and she wished he’d leave, though she didn’t want him to go.

  He tilted her chin up, let her see the hot need in his eyes, and clarified the matter. “Do you want me to stay, or would you rather I left?”

  His knowing look, full of fire and unbridled desire yet compassionate, nearly undid her
. “Tell me what you want, Kate. Nothing that happened between us just now is cause for shame. You’re just as I thought you’d be, as I wanted you to be.” His voice softened. “Was it too much for you?”

  She let herself look at him, trying with all her might to understand what he meant to convey. “Someday you’ll understand. You…You’re a wonderful man.”

  His half smile, wan and rueful, made her want to hug him. “Thanks. I think. Maybe I’d better leave. Will you be okay?”

  Pretense was out of place, so she opted for honesty. “I don’t know. I haven’t had any experience with…with this level of…well, you know.”

  He gathered her into his arms and held her. “Thank you for sharing that with me. When you leave this house, be careful getting in and out of your car, and…Oh, for Pete’s sake. We’re going to have to do something about this one way or the other, and we’ve known that from the beginning.”

  “I know. You go on home now. Okay?”

  His lips seared hers as he squeezed her to him. “Remember what I said. I won’t compete with one of my men. All right?”

  She nodded, opened the door, and watched him stride down the corridor and out of the building.

  “Where’s Captain Luke? I wanted him to come see my room. I even straightened it up.”

  Her hand flew to her mouth. She’d forgotten Randy was in the apartment. “You were supposed to be going to bed, so he didn’t disturb you.” At his crestfallen expression, she added, “You may show it to him the next time he comes.”

  “Gee. I’ll have to clean up again.” His face brightened as though a light beamed on him. “Did he say he was coming back to see us?”

  Now, how did she answer that? “I’m sure he’ll be back. Now give a hug and go to sleep.”

  She dropped on the edge of her bed, leaned forward, covered her face with her hands, and tried to work her way out of the haze in which Luke had left her. She hadn’t wanted him to go. He had to know that, just as he’d known what happened to her. For a second, she toyed with the notion of calling him, but resisted it. For the first time in her life, she knew physical desire, the feeling that nothing else mattered but relief. In ten years of marriage, she hadn’t come close to it. She sat up and shook her head. She had to make a success of her bookstore, and she had to prove to herself and her in-laws that she could raise and support her child. Luke! Luke! He filled her head, and she could still taste him, feel his hands on her flesh and smell his special masculine scent. Attentive and loving—he was that and more. But hadn’t Nathan been the same before they married? She believed Luke was different, but he would interfere with her focus, her goal of independence and security, and she couldn’t afford that. But, oh Lord, she wanted that man!

  Still poleaxed by the passion Kate unleashed in him, Luke walked into his town house co-op and looked around. He’d purchased it a year earlier when he’d gotten a bonus along with his promotion to captain. He had loved its uncluttered serenity and charm, nestled as it was in a grove of willows and dogwood trees. Its simple masculine elegance pleased him and complemented his need for freedom. In his living room, soft beige leather chairs and a matching sofa sat on a Turkish carpet woven of orange, beige and brown fibers. Books filled the wood paneling that covered one wall from the floor to the cathedral ceiling. The paintings of little-known but gifted African-American artists adorned another. From windows the height of the room, he could see willows swaying in the breeze and dogwood blossoms that smiled arrogantly in their aristocratic glory.

  He flicked off the light and climbed the stairs, winded from the weakening force of his desire. The flame she’d ignited still burned in him. In his forty-two years, he hadn’t had a woman lose every semblance of inhibition with him as Kate had. He didn’t want to think of what she’d be like if he had her naked in his bed. Where would it take him? He couldn’t imagine not going all the way with her, because it wasn’t in his nature to leave anything half done. He shook his head. What kind of man had she married who could have lived with her for a decade without assuring her fulfillment? Laughter spilled out of him—partly in frustration, but mainly in self-mockery. His chances of walking away from her were practically nonexistent, because he didn’t believe for a second that she’d let him do it. He needed a strategy, and he had to walk carefully.

  Chapter 5

  “I’ll be away approximately ten days. These are my orders, and I want every one of them enforced. When I get back, I want a report on that case of suspected arson on my desk. Signed. Any questions?”

  “You don’t want much,” Axel said. “If I have to run the shop, how am I going to get that report ready?”

  Luke looked toward the ceiling, let out a long breath, and threw up his hands. “That report was due over a week ago, when you didn’t have anything else pending. I don’t care how you manage, as long as you do it.”

  He looked into Axel’s narrowed eyes and stared at the man, unflinching, forcing Axel to blink first. The man’s opinion of himself could stand diluting. He leaned back in his chair and laced his voice with authority. “I’m sure you can handle it, but if you don’t think so…” He let the alternative form in Axel’s imagination.

  “Sure, man. Nothing to it. Say, who’s going to handle the kids in PAL? Other than Jenkins, I mean.”

  Luke stared into Axel’s eyes. “You are, Lieutenant.” He made a ceremony of locking his desk drawers, cabinets and computer. “I’ve got a few stops to make, so it’s time I got out of here.”

  He wondered at the look of disappointment on Axel’s face until the man said, “Suppose I need some records?”

  Savoring the sweetness of it, Luke let himself grin. “The only records in my office are yours and your colleagues, and you’re not entitled to see those. Sergeant King has all other records. Let’s go. I have to lock up.”

  “You…You’re locking your office?”

  Luke forced himself not to grin. “Why not? Everything in here’s locked up, and you’ll be using your own office.”

  He locked the door and patted Axel on the shoulder. “I’m depending on you to keep everything straight.” As he gazed at Axel, he knew his eyes conveyed his double meaning, including his warning not to crowd Kate. “See you.”

  “Yeah,” Axel said, the word coming slowly. “See you.”

  Luke called a taxi and rushed out of the precinct headquarters just as the cab drove up. “Airport, please, but I want to make a quick stop at eighty ninety-one Forest Street.”

  He loved the way she had of greeting him at the store’s door, as though he were entering her home. “Hi. How’s it going today?”

  “Business is good. What time does your plane leave? I could run you to the airport.”

  “Thanks, but you’d have to close up. Anyway, I have a taxi waiting. Where’s Randy?”

  “In my office.”

  “Come with me.” Holding her hand, he went in the office, where they found Randy studying.

  “What’s INTERPOL, Captain Luke? Mom said you’re going to INTERPOL.”

  “Its real name is International Police Cooperation. Police forces in its member countries—and there’re one hundred and seventy-seven of them—cooperate in apprehending criminals.”

  Randy gaped in awe. “Gee. Is it in Nairobi? I’ve been checking my map to see where you’ll be.”

  “No, it isn’t in Kenya. That’s where the conference will be held. INTERPOL’S headquarters is in Lyon, France.”

  “What are you going to talk about, Luke?”

  He looked at his watch. “Apprehending drug couriers.” Wonder what caused that? he asked himself, when a quick frown creased Kate’s forehead. Probably his imagination. “I’ve got to get out of here. Randy, I expect you to cooperate with Officer Jenkins and Lieutenant Strange over at PAL, and be good to your mother.”

  Randy buried his head in his work and didn’t answer, but Luke didn’t have time to sort it out. He kissed Kate on the cheek and left.

  Kate imagined that Luke couldn’t have got
ten to the airport before Axel Strange walked into her store. She pretended not to see him, and busied herself with her customers. “When’s the first meeting of the reading club?” he asked after walking to within two feet of where she stood. At least he had the grace not to get overly friendly with her in front of her customers.

  “Haven’t gotten around to scheduling one, Lieutenant. There doesn’t seem to be much enthusiasm for one.”

  The last of the customers paid for his purchase and left, and the triumph of Axel’s smile shouted as loudly as a blaring trumpet. She whirled away from him and headed for her office. If he followed her there, she’d tell him a thing or two.

  He followed her. She’d temporarily forgotten about Randy studying there. She stopped short, and Axel almost stumbled over her.

  “What are you doing?” Randy yelled at Axel. “Take your hands off my mom.”

  “It’s all right, Randy,” Kate hastened to say. “I stopped short, and he tripped over me.”

  She couldn’t believe the hostility reflected in her son’s eyes as he glared up at the six-foot, three-inch officer. “Go on with your work, Randy. Lieutenant Strange only stopped by to see how we’re getting along.”

  Randy’s astuteness stunned her. That the boy had discovered Axel’s Achilles’ heel was clear when he said, “Captain Luke came by to see how we are a couple of minutes ago.”

  When she saw Axel’s lips curve into a snarl, she didn’t utter the words of reprimand she’d planned for Randy. In a flash, however, Axel replaced his snarl with his patented smile.