Clementine

by R. Jean Wilson

  “Sure,” he said, turning the car off and checking his watch, “but could it wait until after? I think the class starts in a few minutes and I still have to change,” he reached back to grab his black bag from the backseat.

  See, this is why I’ve never told him. It’s like the universe is plotting against me. Addison blinked up at him and took a deep, cleansing breath. “Oh, yeah, definitely. We have to get in there and make sure we get spots next to each other,” she remarked willing herself to snap out of her gloomy mood and enjoy the night with Holden...I’ll just tell him after.

  Addison walked into the studio and peeled off her t-shirt. She’d learned after a few sweaty classes that she could only bear being in a sports bra and leggings, anything else made her body heat up too much for her to handle. She straightened her black sports bra so that delicate crissed-crossed straps lay centered on the back. She’d paired the bra with her favorite black yoga leggings.

  She unrolled both her mat and the extra one she’d borrowed for Holden before standing up and looking toward the floor-to-ceiling mirrors in front of her. Her blonde hair was pulled back into her signature stylish ponytail, but the contrast between her bright hair and eyes and her black outfit was still noticeable. She felt strange as she looked at the girl in the mirror. The girl dressed in all black; the girl who was leaving a boy she was crazy about tomorrow and couldn’t do anything about it. Other than showing him how I feel, she thought to herself as she adjusted her leggings to sit low on her hip bones, yeah right.

  There were a couple dozen students in the class, all squeezed together, which only added to the heat generated from the thermostat. They were talking and stretching out around her but she spotted Holden immediately when he walked in the studio. He had his backpack in one hand and a water bottle in the other. He’d changed out of scrubs into a pair of black workout shorts that fell right above his knee. Holy shit.

  The fact that he wasn’t wearing a shirt was apparent to every girl in that studio. Addison noticed the way they paused their conversations momentarily to watch him walk by. His elegantly muscled chest and abs looked like something straight out of GQ. He has to know everyone is watching him. This is ridiculous. He tossed his backpack up onto the designated shelves and made his way toward her, every eye watching where he was headed. She rolled her eyes before lying back on her mat and closing them.

  “You’re too pretty for your own good,” he commented as she heard him sit down on the mat next to her.

  “What?” She stammered, opening her eyes and tilting her head toward him.

  “Every guy is watching you right now, you realize that don’t you?” He inquired, his voice low enough so that only she’d hear.

  She laughed. She couldn’t help it. The guy whose tanned perfection-of-a-body belonged on the pages of magazines was trying to tell her she was the one causing looks.

  “Yeah, I bet, Casanova,” she joked quietly, sitting up on her knees and stretching out her wrists on the mat in front of her.

  “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in black before...” He remarked, his voice dropping off. She watched their reflections in the mirror as his eyes traveled from her criss-crossed sports bra slowly down her exposed back. His eyes followed the curve of her spine, drinking her in and burning brighter along their descent. She swallowed and watched anxiously. Oh my god…

  The instructor walked in before Addison had time to process his fervid demeanor.

  “Good evening class! I want to start us off with introductions, you’ll want to get to know your neighbor because there are a lot of us in here tonight and we’re all pretty close together so you’ll probably find yourself in some pretty interesting positions.”

  The class laughed at her innuendo and began turning to their left and right to meet the people around them. Addison and Holden jokingly shook hands and he gave her a slow wink that sent shivers down her spine. This is going to be a looong class. A soft melody fell over the room as the instructor told the class to begin standing at the top of their mats with their hands placed in front of their hearts and their eyes closed. The entire class fell silent.

  The first half hour of the class wasn’t so bad. Addison was able to focus on her own movements and block out thoughts of Holden next to her. His heady scent of deodorant and cologne wafted around her though, keeping her painfully aware of his company. Every now and then she’d look at his reflection in the mirror, surprised by the ease with which he moved through the poses. She was better than him, having done yoga and dance most of her life, but he held his own more than she had expected him to.

  They were lying on their backs on their yoga mats having completed all of the strengthening poses when she felt his hand brush hers. She expected him to move it away, but he didn’t. It was touching hers so lightly, but the fact that they were lying there covered in sweat; their breaths quick and uneven, almost sent Addison over the edge. The instructor told them to wrap their knees over one another and let their legs fall to the left, while their heads looked to the right. The pose offered them a simple spinal twist, and Addison allowed herself to relax into the position.

  (♫3)She let her legs drop and she turned her head to the right, feeling her heart rate accelerate as she took in Holden’s body. His head was facing away from her, but his legs and chest were twisted alluringly in her direction. She watched a drop of sweat run from his neck down over his hard chest and onto his defined abs. His chest rose and fell softly, and Addison found her own body mimicking his breathing. The stereo switched to a new folksy song, the opening strings of which she knew they both recognized immediately and Holden ran his finger back and forth along hers in response.

  This is borderline torture.

  The instructor told them to switch sides and Addison tore her gaze away from Holden’s exposed neck and chest just before he turned to find her staring. She twisted her knees and head, loving the deep stretch the twist offered to her spine. She felt Holden’s eyes scanning her neck, down to her exposed stomach, felt the sweat dripping down her body under his gaze. She closed her eyes wanting to live in the moment with him focused only on her for as long as possible. The song continued to play on the stereo as Addison listened to the lyrics, smiling to herself.

  “It’s better to feel pain than nothing at all; The opposite of love’s indifference; so pay attention now, I’m standing on your porch screamin' out; and I won’t leave until you come downstairs.”

  The moment was so perfect that she almost forgot she was leaving in the morning.

  They grabbed their things and rolled their yoga mats in silence not bothering to put their shirts back on before going back into the Texas heat. She was worn out from the work-out and the intensity wearing down both of their reserves. They didn’t speak the entire ride back to Addison’s apartment. Holden turned his car off when they’d arrived outside of her building, but they both sat motionless looking out the front window of the SUV with soft focus.

  You have to say it. Get it over with… it’s like ripping a band-aid off.

  “Holden, I’m leaving…” She heard herself say before her heart could stop her brain from uttering the words. The words that she knew would bring the end.

  “I got into PA school in North Carolina,” she paused hearing her voice break. Addison, do not cry.

  She couldn’t bring herself to look at him, knowing his gaze was still directed out of the front window. He spoke a few moments later, but if felt like eternity as she waited for his reaction.

  “Wow,” he paused for a beat, “I’m so proud of you, Clementine,” he looked at her with a giant smile spread across his face. It was his eyes that Addison noticed though; the fact that the spark of his smile didn’t quite reach them.

  “I knew you would get in, you’ll make a wonderful PA,” he spoke genuinely.

  “I leave tomorrow Holden,” she spoke lifelessly, biting her lower lip to keep the tears from falling. There’s no reason to cry, she told herself, we aren’t even dating, we’re friends. />
  His dark eyes turned toward her quickly. “I’m sorry, what did you just say? You’re kidding right?” He spoke harshly, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion.

  “The program starts after the holidays. I’m going to Houston to be with my family tomorrow and then I leave before the New Year,” she spoke, hearing how calm her words came out, as if her heart had already resigned to the fact that she and Holden were a distant hope, nothing more.

  He didn’t speak for a few minutes and Addison pushed her door open, feeling alone and helpless. There’s nothing I can do.

  “I don’t work tomorrow; I have some packing and stuff to get done before I leave so maybe we can get lunch or something.”

  “I work all day tomorrow,” he answered, his tone distant and cold. Ouch.

  She nodded and stepped out of the car closing the door behind her. She continued to bite down on her lip, hoping to make it inside of her apartment before the tears came. She wasn’t sure how she had expected him to react, but that definitely wasn’t it. She took slow, calculated breaths as she climbed her stairs. She knew she’d just said goodbye to her hopeless dream and it hadn’t quite sunk in yet.

  (♫4)She'd turned the key in the lock when she heard the footsteps behind her. His scent enveloped her senses before she'd even turned to make sure it was him. It was a sensual mix of sweat and body-wash, and she loved it. Wait, what? He stopped directly behind her, placing one hand tenderly on her shoulder as he pushed her door open with the other one.

  He wordlessly nudged her through the threshold before following behind, closing the door and grabbing the yoga mat and bag from her hands. He tossed them aside and her heart skipped a beat and then started pounding uncontrollably. Holy shit. Is this a dream? Did I pass out trying to make it upstairs? Her entire body relaxed into his as her back fell against his warm chest. Please be real, please be real. Had it been any other moment she’d have turned around and asked what he was doing, but they both knew. They’d both waited for this moment, never allowing themselves to get this far for fear of being unable to stop.

  He wrapped his arm around her stomach, pulling her even closer to him. Her head fell back exposing her delicate neck to him as he bent down to whisper in her ear.

  “What am I going to do without you, Clementine?”

  His exposed words broke any of the remaining walls that she had built to protect her heart from him. She let the sweet declaration sink in as he lowered his head placing a gentle kiss on her neck. His lips sent tingles down her body, ending low in her stomach. She closed her eyes as he continued to trace kisses down her neck, his hand running along her stomach. She knew she should care that they were both sweaty and tired from yoga but she’d die before telling him to stop now. Besides, she didn’t mind the fact that he already had his shirt off. She allowed her hands to reach up and tangle themselves into his tousled hair, pulling his head toward her and encouraging him to continue his descent down her neck.

  She let a soft moan escape her lips as his hand traced along the bottom of her sports bra. The sound only served to encourage his worship of her neck and she couldn’t help but feel a deep desire begin to surge within her. Holy… She’d been physical with other guys, of course, but it was insignificant compared to the way her body was reacting to Holden.

  He pushed their bodies forward into her room keeping her in his tight grasp before gently placing her so she was sitting on the edge of the bed. She leaned back on her hands and a small giggle escaped her lips as she realized she'd have to wash her sheets after their sweaty bodies were done with them.

  “Oh, am I amusing you, Ms. Caldwell?” He inquired, a smirk across his face and hint of mischief in his eyes. Her smile fell flat; replaced with a small gape and wide eyes. She had no clue how to respond. This was a version of Holden she wasn’t accustomed to. She sat motionless, completely at a loss for words.

  “Uhh, I..”

  Her bed frame was low to the ground so when he bent down in between her legs in the next moment, their faces were level with one another. His brown eyes danced before her, alight with desire and… Ahh.

  He held her gaze as he lowered his lips to her waist. The passionate sensation caused her stomach muscles to softly spasm. She blushed and bit down on her lip watching him gently nip and kiss her stomach working his way up to her sports bra. “I’m waiting for an answer, Addison. Is this amusing?” He asked again, his tone confident and controlling.

  Her breasts rose and fell with her breath, the sports bra treacherously pushing them up even further as she continued to sit back on her hands. She knew she was meant to speak, but she couldn’t concentrate when he was caressing her body like that.

  “Yes or no Addison, I won’t ask again,” he continued his worship, his lips moving to kiss the swell of her breasts not covered by her sports bra. Oh my... His stubble caressed her most delicate skin and she couldn’t keep her head from falling back in ecstasy. She finally found her soft voice, now that she wasn’t staring directly into his fierce brown eyes.

  “No…it’s not,” she murmured unsure if he’d even heard her. His eyes flickered up to her soft lips, slightly swollen from her biting down on them for the past few minutes.

  She assumed he'd heard her because a moment later he slowly began to crawl on top of her, rasping his skin against hers. She scooted back so her legs were laying flat in front of her and she instinctively fell back onto her elbows, separating herself from him at the same time Holden was inching his way on top of her. His toned legs hugged her hips and his hands fell on either side of her head.

  “My little Clementine, do you remember when you ducked under my arm up on that roof?” He asked her as he slowly lowered his hips on top of hers. Her hip bones dug into his strong flesh but he didn’t even seem to notice. He was holding enough of his weight so that it wasn’t painful, but the feel of him against her was so tantalizing she couldn’t help but squirm with longing.

  Pull it together, Addy. She smiled wide, finding a bit of her own confidence. “Mmm I don’t think I do?” She teased, knowing he would see through her lie.

  He let out a low sensual laugh before gently grinding his hips into hers. She moaned involuntarily at the motion. Who's side are you on, body? They were only separated by her leggings and his work-out shorts, allowing her to feel his interest in her growing by the minute.

  “I think you know exactly what I’m talking about... and I think tonight you should have to pay for that little stunt,” He suggested, his voice low and husky, while his eyes held a sense of mischief that let her know he wasn’t being completely serious.

  “Oh really, Dr. Taylor?” She said loving the desire that spread across his face at her teasing. She grinded her hips up into him, giving him a taste of his own medicine.

  He let out another low laugh, letting her know he was enjoying the little game they were playing as much as she was. Her confidence fell immediately however, when a moment later he knocked her elbows away causing her to fall onto her back. She was completely helpless to him as his legs hugged her body even tighter. I think I’m going to die from lust before anything serious even happens. My tombstone would read: “Here lies Addison, she was so close to complete bliss when her body just spontaneously combusted.”

  She couldn’t help but writhe under his touch as he gently ran his hands through her long hair, admiring it; before he let his hands fall back to her stomach. He sat up on his knees so that he could see her laying there before him, completely at his disposal. She took a few breaths, trying to control the pleasure spreading through her. He softly tugged her sports bra up revealing the underside of her breasts as his eyes found hers as if asking her if she wanted him to stop. She dragged her hands up above her head, giving him permission to continue.

  His lips curled up into the sexiest smile she’d ever seen as he finished pushing the sports bra up and off her head. She kept her arms against the bed, completely paralyzed by this man. Holden’s gaze made her feel exposed and self conscious. She couldn�
�t guard the way her body was reacting to him now and she wanted so badly to cover her breasts. She began to pull her arms down to do just that, but Holden reacted first. With his left hand he reached up and held Addison’s wrists against the bed, surprising her by placing his other hand directly over her heart.

  “You’re beautiful and brave, Clementine,” he declared, looking directly into her pale green eyes as he quoted the text he had sent her after kayaking. His mouth was directly above hers as he uttered the words. She knew that he held her fate in his hands at that moment, and it made her feel helpless. She wanted to show him that she had confidence of her own, and she took that opportunity to reach her head up and press her lips against his.

  They both stilled at the realization that they were finally having their first kiss. She pressed her lips against his, taking a hold of his bottom lip and tugging gently, causing a low sexy groan to sound from his throat. He pushed her hands against the bed harder and kissed her back with all of the passion that she was feeling for him. They were meeting emotion for emotion as he teased her mouth, coaxing her to spread her lips so he could sensuously slide his tongue into her mouth. He tasted better than she could have imagined and she vowed to commit the minty flavor to memory.

  Their first kiss was eternal. Addison was no longer lying on her bed in her small apartment; she was floating in an absolute state of bliss. All of her senses were focused on processing Holden’s mouth on hers- His cologne mixed with the sounds they were making; her hands running through his slightly ruffled hair, his mouth and lips tasted like heaven, but the way he was caressing her lips seemed deeply sinful.

  His left hand continued to hold her wrist as he allowed his right hand to tease and cup her breasts.