Clementine

by R. Jean Wilson

  “This is Dr. Richards and Dr. Patrick,” he said motioning to his colleagues and stepping aside so that they could introduce themselves. She managed to push her gaze to the two doctors but couldn’t force herself to listen to their introductions. She was too focused on the image of Dr. Taylor crawling on the table. Hah, I wish. She could still sense his gaze on her. It almost devoured her from across the room and she couldn’t help fidgeting in her seat, cursing herself for still allowing him to have such an effect on her.

  “So if you have any questions and are too intimidated to deal with Dr. Taylor, feel free to come to us,” Dr. Patrick joked, eliciting a cluster of laughs from the students. Oops, I completely missed what they were talking about.

  “Now if you’ll follow us out, we’ll take you around the ward and then start rounds,” Dr. Patrick continued as he and Dr. Richards exited. All of the students collected their things and shuffled after them. Addison was sitting in the seat farthest from the door so she was the last student to reach the glass frame. Holden held the door open for her, his amused expression still present.

  “Well isn’t this surprising...” he noted quietly enough so only she could hear. He sounded so lax and tantalizing; she wanted to punch him. Ignore him. Addison did her best to swerve around him so they wouldn’t touch as she passed. Although her heels added a few inches to her 5’7’’ frame, Holden’s height and intoxicating scent still loomed over her; his presence impossible to ignore. Her group was beginning to walk down the hallway, already a couple of yards in front of her.

  She suddenly felt naïve and self conscious about having come back to Austin and to Holden’s hospital. She’d been kidding herself by thinking she’d made the decision based on anything other than emotional ties to him; the man that fate had stepped in and forced her to say goodbye to over a year ago. She felt foolish after seeing him standing so confident in the conference room, knowing she had been the one to step into his hospital and his territory. He’s the one who left in the middle of the night leaving a note saying he hadn’t “intended” to let things get as far as they had. He’s the one who had his arm around a brunette the next day when I came to say goodbye on my way out of town. He’s the one who gave up so easily after I left.

  Her own pride had begun to build from the moment she’d allowed herself to wake up early that morning to get ready for this man she couldn’t seem to shake off. She felt so silly having put herself out there so obviously.

  Before she had fully registered her own movements she swiveled to face him.

  “I didn’t come back for you, Holden.” The words tasted bitter in her mouth as if even her taste buds knew they weren’t true. She saw what looked to be shock run across his face before he quickly recovered. The intensity in his dark eyes was the only evidence that her words had affected him at all.

  “It’s Dr. Taylor,” he corrected, his tone clipped and distant. She bristled at his words, realizing their friendship had dissolved more than she’d anticipated throughout the past year. She narrowed her eyes at him faintly before turning on her heel and walking back to her group.

  “And Addison,” he called, causing her to pause and look over her shoulder at him. He looked calm and collected once again, so in control of his emotions, “you made a beautiful homecoming queen.”

  Her mouth dropped open at the randomness of his comment. She couldn’t even begin to formulate a response before he turned to greet a patient who had walked up to him a moment before. Addison was left standing in the middle of the hallway, her mouth slightly agape. How the hell does he know I was homecoming queen? Did he just say I was beautiful? She turned angrily and walked fast to meet up with her group who was already being briefed about their first patient.

  “Wow, did you SEE Dr. Taylor? I thought doctors only looked like that on TV shows, but apparently not,” Bethenny joked a few hours later as the girls pushed their food trays down the line of lunch options. Addison’s stomach was still in knots over what took place that morning so she settled on fruit salad and a granola bar, knowing she had to force herself to eat something.

  “He’s okay, but I mean head resident? He has to be full of himself,” Addison argued, placing her fruit salad on the tray with a little too much force.

  “I don’t know, he’s tall, tan, and gorgeous... being full of yourself kind of comes with the territory,” Bethenny responded as the girls paid for their food and found a table in the small cafeteria. Addison felt relief in knowing that Holden would be eating in the doctor’s lounge. She wouldn’t have to worry about seeing him for at least another thirty minutes.

  “Oh well, he and I were sort of friends before I left for PA school, but obviously now that he’s our supervisor we won’t be rekindling any sort of friendship,” Addison offered, having felt guilty the whole morning for keeping that secret from Bethenny. She decided to give her the PG version of whatever it is that her and Holden had been, wanting to keep the full story locked away within herself.

  “Really? Strange. He was watching you during introductions so I should have guessed as much,” Bethenny said before taking a bite of her turkey sandwich.

  After leaving her standing in the hallway, Addison didn’t encounter Holden again that first day. She was disappointed to find that their group dealt mainly with Dr. Patrick and Dr. Richards. She wanted an opportunity to ask Holden about the ‘homecoming queen’ comment and knew she couldn't bring herself to text him. It felt too intimate after his insistence that she call him Dr. Taylor. She had sensed her words about not coming back for him had wounded him but she didn’t regret it. She still had open wounds from what they could’ve been a year ago, so at least her misery had company. She took a deep breath and continued working, knowing she was being foolish letting him dictate her emotions after so much time had passed. God I love… and hate that smug grin of his.

  Chapter 17

  The next morning she crawled out of bed before her alarm. After curling her hair and doing her makeup routine, she picked out a pair of dark brown leather heels and navy trouser-style pants that had the same slim cut as the day before. She finished it off with a mint colored silk blouse with simple pockets that lay on either side of her chest.

  “Day two outfit… I love it,” Bethenny said as the two girls stepped into the neurology ward. “You aren’t dressing up more for someone in particular, are you?”

  Addison paused for a beat, trying to decide how to answer. “Just you, my friend.” Addison winked before taking a sip of her vanilla latte. Smooth…

  They pushed open the conference room doors and found all the other students standing in a close circle talking with hushed voices. Addison and Bethenny exchanged confused glances as they made their way over. Henry was speaking quietly to the group.

  “That’s just what I heard. I have no clue if it’ll actually happen, and obviously they could only pick one of us. The OR is already jam-packed,” Henry divulged, eyeing Addison and Bethenny as they pushed into the group.

  “What’s going on?” Bethenny asked.

  “Word is, they’re going to let one of us assist in a spinal fusion.”

  “Isn’t that usually reserved for first year residents though?” Addison asked as the students whispered around her.

  “Exactly. We’ll see if it actually happens. I overheard Dr. Richards and Dr. Patrick talking it over in the hallway,” Henry finished.

  A second later the glass door of the conference room pushed open and the students all jumped toward their seats at once. Luckily, the residents didn’t seem to notice the guilty looks plastered on all of the students’ faces as they awkwardly found their seats.

  Holden stood in front of the oval table with a hospital clipboard in hand. He’d replaced the scrubs from the day before with a light blue button down and a simple pair of black slacks. Nothing about his outfit seemed sensual, yet, the way his broad shoulders filled out the shirt and the way his pants sat on his lean hips made every girl in the room practically salivate. He flipped through a cou
ple of pages before beginning to speak.

  “There isn’t too much to go over today,” he began, his eyes still on his paper. “You’ll be assisting Dr. Richards and Dr. Patrick on their rounds today, so please stick close to them.”

  “Also, the nurses wanted me to remind you guys to make a new pot of coffee if you take the last cup in the lounge.” His finger glided down the list on his clipboard before he looked up and scanned across the students, noticeably skipping over Addison.

  “The last bit of news is something a bit more exciting. On Friday, I’ll be conducting a routine spinal fusion surgery. The patient has agreed to allow one student to assist in the procedure. There will be two residents and one attending physician on the case, but nonetheless, this is a very good opportunity.” He paused momentarily as his eyes finally found Addison and she blinked up at him, stunned by his sudden glance. So maybe he isn’t completely ignoring me? Her heart raced and a slow burn began to build in her stomach before he looked away toward another student. She crushed her lips together, acutely aware of the ache caused by his fleeting attention.

  “Yesterday Dr. Warwick presented you all with a simple case study. He’d like anyone interested in assisting in the surgery to learn the case and present both a diagnosis and treatment plan to him, no later than noon on Thursday.”

  “But that’s only two days away,” Henry urged as he frantically searched his folder for the case study.

  “We’re well aware of the time timeline, Mr. Hope. The surgery takes place on Friday morning; Thursday is the last day possible to conduct meetings with Dr. Warwick,” Holden answered curtly. “Let me reiterate what a great opportunity this is for all of you,” Holden said, pulling his gaze from Henry to scan over all of the students.

  “I suggest you find the time to research the case,” he continued before picking up his clipboard and placing it in the crook of his arm, effectively handing the reins over to Dr. Patrick.

  Addison crossed her arms and sat back in her chair, glancing down at the paper work in front of her. It was a strange sight to see Holden in such an important role. If she hadn’t met him in another time she knew she’d find him incredibly intimidating. He seemed so aloof and stern in his ‘head resident’ role. It was almost easy to forget how fun he was in a different setting. She remembered him always so laid back and easygoing around her. Except that last night… but that night I didn’t have to call him Dr. Taylor.

  Addison rushed home that night to work on the case study. She knew that even if she managed to correctly diagnose and treat the case, Henry would still most likely be picked for the surgery, but after focusing the past two days on Holden, it felt good to distract herself with a new challenge. She collected all of her medical textbooks, laptop, and an emergency reserve of chocolate. Sitting alone in her apartment, her supplies spread out over the surface of her table, she read the case study over and over again trying to piece it together. She’d already ruled out over fifteen possible diagnoses by the time she felt her phone buzz next to her. Setting her notepad and pencil down, she looked toward her phone and her heart soared. Holden? It’d been over a year since they’d texted one another and she felt nostalgic reading his name on the glossy screen. She took a bite of her chocolate, preparing herself for what he could’ve possibly texted her.

  (♫8)Addison’s heart raced. What? It was as if the Holden from a year ago was finally reaching out to her. At the hospital he was so formal and in charge, it almost surprised her to find out that he still had a soft side.

  Addy. He was still the only person who called her that. She closed her eyes and clutched the phone to her chest for a moment before pushing her papers and books to the side. She decided she might as well take a break from the case study and start cooking dinner now that she’d be distracted from working for the next half hour anyway. While she sliced an onion and began tossing it into a skillet on the stove, she dreamt of all the possible reasons he’d felt compelled to text her. A) He thinks I’m a sex-goddess and can hardly contain himself from ripping my clothes off. B) He thinks I’m like one of those dogs you see on the shelter commercials with the sad music and can’t help but pity me. C) He thinks of me as an old friend and just wants to be nice.

  Definitely A, she told herself as she continued to chop, smiling at how ridiculous she was being. She couldn’t help but wonder how he would treat her tomorrow; like he’d never texted her? Or would he greet her with one of his warm smiles she’d gone so long without seeing?

  Chapter 18

  She worked tirelessly the next day, staying up late and waking up early to research the case study. She was disappointed when Holden had been too busy to attend their Wednesday morning meeting. But she was still slightly relieved because she knew she looked like hell from the late night. He’d left Dr. Patrick and Dr. Richards in charge of telling the students they’d failed again at making a new pot of coffee in the nurse’s lounge. I guess you really don’t mess with a nurse’s coffee supply. She smiled to herself trying to pay attention to the rest of the mundane announcements.

  She’d noticed that none of her peers seemed to be discussing their case findings with one another. There was awkward friction within the group at knowing they were all competing for a single coveted surgery spot. At least Addison was close enough with Bethenny that the two girls agreed they’d be happy for one another even if the other girl was chosen (even if they only half meant it). By Wednesday afternoon most of the students had already mentioned dropping by Dr. Warwick’s office and Addison couldn’t help feeling anxious. How is everyone finishing before me? She’d emailed him and set up a meeting for 7am the next morning, hoping she’d finally be ready by then.

  “Ms. Caldwell, pleasure to see you so bright and early.” Dr. Warwick gestured toward a chair in front of his desk as she stepped through his door. She’d never been inside his office before and she couldn’t help sneaking a glance around the neatly placed bookshelves and framed diplomas. She’d seen other members of her group trickle in and out over the past few days and she wondered if she was the last student to present her findings. Hopefully he hasn’t already chosen someone. Addison smiled up at him and took the seat he’d offered.

  “Morning, Dr. Warwick," she spoke, adjusting her posture in the oversized chair and collecting her thoughts.

  “So tell me, do you think you’ve found the answer to the case study?” Dr. Warwick inquired. He sat with his back against a brown leather office chair, his hands clasped casually on his lap. His welcoming expression displayed under his rimless glasses worked to calm Addison’s nerves only slightly.

  “Yes, I think so. I’ve gone over the details of the case dozens of times over the past few days and at first the symptoms seemed elusive and broad. They could have been related to any number of diagnoses, so I had to dig a bit deeper. Patient X is young, she was a competitive gymnast but had no traumatic event to warrant immediate treatment, just long term stress and strain on the spine. Initially, all signs pointed to a simple muscle strain, but obviously you wouldn’t be giving us such a simple problem,” she smiled timidly. “I began to think that patient X could potentially have a bulging vertebral disc or cartilage breakdown. However, the patient presented pain associated mostly with the lower spine and initial x-rays didn’t show any herniated discs present. All of the simple answers were cleared," she paused, noting his seemingly interested expression.

  “After digging around through various spinal disorders, and ruling out nearly everything, it became clear that the patient has Spondylolysis. The disorder occurs mainly in athletes, like gymnasts and football players, who can acquire stress fractures over time. The initial view on the x-rays wouldn’t have caught the separation of bone and her lack of persistent pain further proves the diagnoses. Very few spinal disorders cause such specific pain.” She took a deep breath and relaxed back into her seat.

  Dr. Warwick nodded his head before beginning, “Your diagnosis is correct, Ms. Caldwell. What is your treatment plan for the patient?”
Dr. Warwick asked giving her a small congratulatory smile.

  “I would recommend physical therapy; perhaps a back brace to strengthen the surrounding muscles. I would not offer a surgical remedy for patient X, especially when less severe measures can be taken first," she finished with a small huff. Finally, I’m done.

  Dr. Warwick nodded again, without giving away any indication of whether she’d been on the right track. C’mon, give me a hint at least. “That will do Ms. Caldwell. You are free to go.”

  They were scheduled to meet in the conference room after lunch to go over afternoon rotations and discover who’d won the surgical spot. Addison had already waited a couple of hours to find out if she was correct and the last thirty minutes before their meeting seemed to be dragging. She was standing by the toaster in the nurse’s lounge when she pulled her phone out of her pocket and scrolled through her contacts. Once she got to the H’s she hovered over Holden’s name, already knowing what she was about to do. She felt nervous putting herself out there. Sure he’d texted her the night before, but she had no clue where they stood; if they were even friends anymore. If she texted him and he ignored her, she didn’t want to think of how awkward the rest of her neurology rotation would be. Time to grow a pair…