Clementine

by R. Jean Wilson

  “I was wrong.” She shook her head, finally acknowledging her mistake aloud, and placed the photo on the marble.

  She stared with soft focus on the counter top, crossing her arms in front of her and feeling the cold air conditioning on her wet skin for the first time since she’d entered his house.

  “I’m sorry, Holden,” she admitted vacantly. How was I so wrong? Holden looked down to her goose bumped covered arms and moved quickly toward the kitchen door.

  “Don’t leave. I’m going to grab some clothes you can change into.” His eyes were full of distress when he returned a few minutes later, seeing the goose bumps still spread across her skin. He handed her a pair of sweatpants and an old college t-shirt. Oh, how sexy...not.

  “They won’t fit you well, but it’s better than being soaking wet and cold,” he said with a crooked smile before respectfully averting his eyes from her drenched clothing. Her face burned as the heat of the moment grew.

  Addison murmured a thank you, unable to look toward him, and went to change in the bathroom. She peeled off her clothes and paused for a second before taking off her bra and panties as well. They were soaked through and if she left them on her new clothes would be wet in seconds. She decided she’d dry them for a few minutes and put them back on without Holden even noticing. She looked down to make sure the t-shirt was big enough to hide her bare chest. Should be okay. Other than the lack of underwear, the clothes felt amazing. The t-shirt was worn in and smelled like Holden; she knew instantly that she liked it more than any of the clothes she owned. This is so not how I planned to look in this moment...

  She dropped her clothes into the dryer and made her way to the living room where Holden was already sitting on an oversized leather armchair. A few steps into the room, she remembered her lack of bra and instantly crossed her arms over her chest, just to be safe. I don’t want to look quite as desperate as I feel right now. Holden looked up from the mug in his hand and her breath caught in her chest. He’d changed into a pair of old jeans and a worn t-shirt that Addison knew would be soft under her touch. He was barefoot and sitting with confident ease. He’s so effortlessly sexy, it almost kills me.

  The only light in the room was coming from a small table lamp and a large window through which the rolling rain clouds were still visible. She made her way to the couch, sunk into the cushions, and folded her legs up under her. The leather cushions surrounded her in their warmth as her gaze settled on the storm raging on outside.

  He’d asked her not to leave, and given her clothes so she’d feel comfortable, but now that they finally had the opportunity to talk, they both fell silent. Any words she felt compelled to speak stubbornly lodged themselves in her throat and it seemed as if the easiest route was just to remain silent. The fact that Holden hadn’t been dating another girl a year ago changed everything. It was as if she’d finally awoken from a dream that had felt so palpable and undeniable, but had actually only been a figment of her imagination. She had to reprogram her brain into believing that Holden had wanted her this whole time and she couldn’t quite bring herself to believe something so amazing just yet...

  Neither one of them offered to speak and the silence dragged on as the rain continued to beat against the windows. Addison scanned the room. Her eyes took in the dark stained wood floors, the flat screen TV, the bookshelf filled with souvenirs from his travels, and the polished glass coffee table with various books stacked on top. It was easier to take in the inanimate objects around her than to meet Holden’s unyielding gaze. Several of the books caught her eye and she knew she’d want to flip through them if she ever was in his living room under different circumstances. She took note of one colorfully-bound photography book before her eyes fell on the novel on the very top of the stack. ‘Potok’ was printed along the spine. Why do I know that name?

  “Recognize that book?” Holden asked softly.

  She furrowed her brows trying to remember where she’d seen the name before.

  “No, I don’t think I do,” she admitted, shaking her head and daring herself to meet his eyes for a brief moment.

  “That’s the man who wrote the quote I snuck into your surgical forms,” he revealed, his gaze unwavering. She focused on the novel, trying to recall what the exact wording had been.

  “The man who was trying to overcome his obstacle?” she offered with a smile.

  He let a moment pass before answering. “He had the thing he wanted hidden from him, yes. He felt frustrated and resentful of the way fate had placed his greatest desire before him, only to take it away; to hide it and force the desire to become even stronger.”

  Her heart beat wildly; the conversation was becoming more intense much faster than she’d anticipated. Her gaze darted back and forth between Holden and the book set in front of her, unable to calm her focus. She could hear her rapid inhalations of breath and she tried to count to ten, hoping it would calm her body. Holden sat completely still, relaxed in his chair and completely unfazed by the situation. Yeah, right…

  She wet her lips, “Did he ever overcome his obstacles or did his desire overtake him?”

  Although her eyes were still fixed on the spine of the book she noticed Holden’s hand tighten around the arm of his chair.

  “Are we talking about the book still, Addy?” His voice held a new note of seduction and she felt goose bumps peel down her neck in response. The next few seconds felt infinite as she tried to process how she should possibly answer his question.

  She finally looked up and found Holden running his hand gently across the dark stubble that peppered his chin. His irresistible appearance and the realization that she was finally alone with him caused butterflies to swarm her stomach. No one from work can walk in on us here.

  (♫11)Suddenly Holden’s demeanor changed. He sat forward in his chair with a wide grin. His head was tilted to the side; his dark eyes narrowed playfully at her.

  “Want to play the favorite game, Addison?” He asked out of the blue. His dark lashes cast a slight shadow across his face, making him even more appealing.

  Addison furrowed her brows unsure of his motives. What in the world?

  “You remember playing that game?” she asked, a bit surprised.

  “Of course, we played it all the time,” he admitted with a soft wink.

  A small laugh escaped her before she could remember how nervous she had been only moments ago. “I don’t really feel like playing a game right now, Holden...” she said, her mind still in a frenzy from everything they’d discussed earlier.

  “Oh... maybe you can just ask me my favorites then?” He persisted and without waiting for her response, he pushed himself up off the armchair and stalked toward her. Addison instinctively tightened her arms over her chest, unsure of what he was about to do.

  He kneeled down in front of her so that he was eye level and inches away from her face. His breath fluttered against her cheeks and she arched a brow in confusion. I thought he wanted to play the game? He gave her a reassuring smile as if hearing her thoughts and reached out to gently hold her cheeks between his hands. His eyes searched hers as she leaned into his warm touch.

  “Play the game with me, Addy.”

  “No…” she protested as her eyes searched his face frantically, taking in his lively brown eyes and dark stumble.

  “Yes. Ask me a question.”

  “No, Holden,” she stammered, getting more angry by the second. I can’t think when you’re this close to me, let alone play some dumb game with you! Her senses were overloaded as his soft t-shirt skimmed across her arm and she drew her gaze down, watching the goose bumps rise on her arm in response.

  His strong, callused hand caressed her cheek, coaxing her to play along.

  “Ask me who my favorite kayaking partner is, Addy,” he paused to let his words wash over her.

  “... or who my favorite person to stargaze with is, my favorite person to laugh with, my favorite pair of eyes. My favorite smile. My favorite kiss.”

  Addi
son sat completely stunned, letting his words infiltrate her every fiber as she reveled in the way his hands softly held her face. She searched his eyes feeling her own begin to fill with tears. A quick giggle escaped as the first tear ran down her cheek. Holden…

  “Ask me,” he ordered gently before kissing her tenderly on the lips. He pulled back quickly and searched her eyes again.

  “Ask me,” he whispered and kissed her again. This time lingering long enough for her to kiss him back before pulling away.

  Addison didn’t have to ask. She knew the answer. She slowly leaned forward, uncrossing her arms and pushing herself off the couch and onto his body. They both let out excited laughs as they awkwardly toppled to the ground, Addison managing to stay on top of him. She straddled his hips, capturing his mouth with hers in an instant. She kissed him just as passionately as she had that night a year ago, but this time she knew it wasn’t with limitations. She wouldn’t be leaving in the morning for another state; she’d be in the same city, in the same hospital as this man for the foreseeable future. He wove his hands in her hair and pulled her toward him greedily, sealing them together. His tongue gently swept across her lower lip eliciting a soft moan as her hands pawed his elegantly muscled arms. There was no rush as the two of them made up for the time they’d wasted being a part for the past year.

  She pulled away softly, knowing it would only have to be for a moment. “You were my desire too, Holden.”

  Chapter 22

  They lay on the couch, Holden’s arm cradled tightly around her stomach as she lay with her back toward him. She felt so small and protected, nestled close to him and she was starting to have trouble keeping her eyes open. This just feels so good… They’d reluctantly stopped their floor escapades for the time being, hoping to piece together parts of the puzzle they’d wondered about over the past year. Though, as they talked, his hand lay under her t-shirt, just above her bellybutton, gently stroking her skin and making her toes curl.

  “What made you think to give me that quote, Holden?” she asked softly.

  “It’s from my favorite book. I actually finished reading it just before I met you and I highlighted that passage, not realizing it would mean so much to me. I didn’t even think back to it right away. It wasn’t until you’d been gone a few months. I couldn’t get you out of my head, no matter how hard I tried, and then I recalled the words Potok wrote,” he explained sincerely.

  “I’d like to read it; I’ve missed getting good books from you. It’s like we used to have a little book club.” She smiled at the memory, running her hand over his.

  “I’ll lend it to you, but you’d owe me a favor...” he hinted as she felt his breath on her neck before he covered the exact spot with an alluring kiss.

  She wilted toward him like a flower, unable to peel the smile from her lips.

  “You know I put the note you left that morning in the glove compartment of my car. I found it a year later as my mom was driving me home from North Carolina. Before that moment, I had planned on moving back to Houston and going to Whittington Hospital for my training. Everything would have been so different,” she confessed, feeling his arm wrap even more tightly around her.

  “I’m so glad you didn’t, Clementine. You left me once and I don’t know how I made it through the past year. I should have fought harder. I shouldn’t have made your mom promise not to tell you... but in a way I’m glad, because you were able to pursue your dream without wondering if you should have stayed behind in Austin for me.”

  Addison was completely speechless. The only words on the tip of her tongue started with an “I” and ended with “love you”, so she stayed silent, scared of ruining the moment she’d waited to experience for the past twelve months.

  “I can’t believe I thought you were dating your sister,” she said, changing the subject, and cracking up at the twisted plot her mind had created.

  He laughed behind her, “I know, its gross Addy. We practically look like twins.”

  “Oh crap, Holden,” she exclaimed, looking down at her watch, “it’s three in the morning.” She bolted up off the couch and tried to think of what all she needed to collect before leaving. If they both didn’t work so early she knew she wouldn’t have been able to leave, but she had a full day ahead of her and needed at least a few hours of rest.

  “Why don’t you just stay here? It’s already so late,” he suggested, but she instantly stilled at the idea. Of course she wanted to stay with Holden; she wanted nothing more in the world. But, staying the night meant sharing a bed, which would most likely end in them sleeping together and Addison wasn’t quite ready for that. She trusted Holden, but so much had happened that day, she wanted their first time to be on a night she wasn’t sporting oversized sweats and an old basketball t-shirt. But his body, I would get to lie next to that body all night. Addison made herself start walking toward the dryer before she could change her mind.

  “No, it’s okay, I don’t have anything with me and let’s be honest, we wouldn’t get any sleep if I stayed here all night,” she spoke, throwing him a wink over her shoulder before she turned the corner into the laundry room. She retrieved her dry clothes and changed out of the sweats, half expecting Holden to sneak in to protest the entire time. She walked back through the living room towards the front door, finding Holden leaning against it. His expression was confident and she could almost see his delicious mind at work behind his warm eyes.

  “So you didn’t come back for me, huh?” he said, drawing her toward him.

  She rolled her eyes and pretended to swat his chest. “Seriously Holden. Did your mom just dote on you all day telling you how handsome and wonderful you were?” she said playfully.

  He placed his hand over his heart, feigning insult. “I know you came back to succeed in your career, I’m just really glad I happened to be at the same hospital. I could get used to you being my surgical partner,” he admitted, reminding her of how endearing he could be when he wasn’t hiding behind his confident exterior.

  “I want to do family medicine remember? Don’t think your flashy neuro instruments will lure me away from that.”

  “Alright alright, we’ll see. Are you sure you don’t want to stay the night?” he asked one last time, his words heavy with meaning.

  “I don’t think that’d be such a good idea Holden, I need some time to process all of this,” she spoke, giving a lame excuse when in reality she didn’t trust herself with being alone with Holden, not when he was just so there, and handsome, and tantalizing. It would only take one of his dimpled smiles and she’d just drop her bra and underwear on the spot. It’s almost cruel.

  He slowly rubbed his hands up and down her arms, as if reminding her exactly what she was walking away from.

  “That’s probably for the best. I just wish I didn’t have to be gone tomorrow and Sunday for that conference. It means we won’t see each other until Monday.”

  Addison’s heart sank. She’d forgotten about the conference all of the residents were attending this weekend. Somehow she had gone a year without this man around her, yet now that he would be out of town two days she felt like she wouldn’t know what to do with herself.

  He gave her one last heart-stopping kiss before letting her go and opening the front door.

  “Oh and Addison, I knew you didn’t have a bra on that whole time and I didn’t try anything. You definitely won’t be so lucky next time.”

  Her mouth dropped open. Smug, hot, adorable bastard.

  She turned, speaking over her shoulder, “What makes you think there’ll be a next time?”

  His rich laughter sounded from behind her as she unlocked her car door and climbed inside. He had to know how much she swooned over him. The least he could do is act as if he isn’t the most eligible man in the western hemisphere.

  Chapter 23

  The next day Addison invited Bethenny to hangout after they were done with work. They were both scheduled off in the early afternoon and Addison needed something to d
istract her from Holden being away at his conference the rest of the weekend. She’d woken up to a text from him that morning that read: “I wish you’d stayed the night. I would’ve made you coffee and pancakes ;).” It was a sweet sentiment to wake up to and she kept the text open on her phone so that throughout her shift she could glance down and reread it. By no means was he declaring his love, but she liked being reminded that last night did in fact happen; it hadn’t just been a wonderful dream.

  Once they’d each showered and changed out of their work clothes, the two girls took Bethenny’s dog to the park. Families dotted the expansive green field and Addison tilted her head toward the sun, appreciating her brief reprieve from the hospital. There were days that passed without her even seeing the light of day and she was determined to make up for it.

  “How are things going with Henry?” Addison asked as she leaned back on her elbows. They’d spread a woven blanket onto the grass so they could relax and spread out their snacks. Bethenny’s little corgi roamed freely around them, and Addison extended her hand out to pet its soft fur.

  “It’s going well. He’s so different from any guy I’ve dated. I’m not used to having to keep up with someone so intellectual,” Bethenny confessed, pulling her brown hair up into a loose bun.

  Addison nodded, beginning to understand why Bethenny had been drawn to Henry. She’d definitely misjudged him in the beginning.

  “I think you guys make a good couple.”

  “Thanks. We’ll see... Any chance you’re ready to tell me about what’s going on with our head resident?”

  Addison closed her eyes, letting the sun’s rays soak into her skin while she delayed her response.