Squared Away

by Annabeth Albert

  “Man. First day and I wipe out.” The kid, who had to be all of eighteen or nineteen, shook his head. His eyes were bright with unshed tears.

  “It’s part of it.” Fully eighty percent of SEAL candidates would get injured at some point during training. They knew heading in that it was going to be tough, both mentally and physically. The key wasn’t necessarily avoiding injury, but how a given candidate responded to the adversity. “Let’s get you to medical.”

  He assigned another man from the group to help him there since the guy couldn’t put weight on the leg.

  “Back to it,” he said to the remaining group. “Sometimes your team will be down a man. Or even three. Gotta get that boat up. Let’s see what you’ve got!”

  Part of him wanted to take the injured guy’s place, help the team complete the drill. Out in the field, he was always quick to help. It was part of the bond he shared with his team—he’d never stand back and let his teammates flounder. But this was different. His role was to let the candidates figure out their own paths forward, gain the skills and self-sufficiency necessary to be a SEAL. Kind of like you figuring your path post-Danielle and Cal. He tried not to think about that too much while on duty, but it was true. He was figuring out how to navigate this new landscape, one without a map, and the only way through was to get in there and try, same as his recruits.

  They kept up the boat drills mixed with the surf torture most of the day. Finally, Mark’s shift was done. SEAL training was a twenty-four hour a day, seven days a week thing for the recruits, but unlike the candidates, he’d get to go home, have more regular duty shifts, although all bets were off in a few weeks for Hell Week, when it would be all hands on deck.

  Sweaty, sandy, and exhausted, he headed to the showers in the locker room. He was ready to be home.

  “Wizard!” Johnson, the instructor who seemed to live for doling out punishments, greeted him as he emerged from the shower. “Not a bad first day, huh?”

  “I see a few who might make it.” Mark had never been one for making much conversation when he was half-dressed but Johnson seemed the chatty type who didn’t care that they were only in towels.

  “You’ve got to be a bit stricter. Remember, we’re not doing them any favors if we let them cut corners or go soft on them.” Johnson nodded. “You’ll get it though.”

  “Hope so. I wasn’t expecting to get this billet, so I’m still figuring shit out,” Mark admitted.

  “Yeah, you were a last-minute addition. Heard about your loss. That’s shitty luck. Condolences from my whole family, man.”

  “Thanks.” Mark had been getting this a lot since being back on duty. Everyone had heard about Danielle and Cal, and most people didn’t seem to know exactly what to say, but everyone wanted to check in with him, see how he was holding up. And Mark never knew exactly what to reply. Sure, he was still sad. And overwhelmed. But he had Isaiah and he was coping. Day by day, one foot in front of the other, he was getting through it. But then he’d feel a bit guilty about that, like maybe he shouldn’t be doing this well.

  Grief, man. It was some fucked-up shit. But Johnson didn’t need to hear all that.

  “Hear you got the kids. That’s got to be hard, you being a single guy and all.” Johnson shook his head. “Don’t know what I’d do without the wife.”

  Don’t know what I’d do without Isaiah. The thought crept in unbidden, but it was true. Isaiah was his rock, the thing he looked forward to at the end of long slog like today.

  “Speaking of her,” Johnson continued, undeterred by Mark’s lack of response. “She’s got a sister. Nicest woman on earth. Loves kids. We should do a beer sometime, when you’re ready, let you meet her.”

  Mark wasn’t ever going to be ready for a blind date. He’d been on them before and they all sucked. Besides you have Isaiah. But no one on base knew that, and this wasn’t the first offer he’d received—everyone seemed eager to find him some help. The navy was big on guys settling down, promoting family life, and that culture bled over into the personnel, everyone wanting to see him partnered up.

  He wished he knew what to say. I’ve got someone. I think. His name’s Isaiah and he’s awesome. How hard would that be? Or maybe even, I’m demisexual. I don’t do casual dating. But the words didn’t come. “I don’t think I’m ready for that,” he said instead.

  Fucking coward, he cursed at himself.

  “You’ll get there,” Johnson said encouragingly as he got dressed. “How are the kids though? Hanging in there?”

  “Kids are amazingly resilient.” Mark was relieved to be off the topic of his personal life.

  “They excited for spring? Easter bunny and all that? My crew can’t wait.” Johnson laughed.

  “Oh, that’s coming up.” Mark really hadn’t gotten that far in his planning for the month, but he supposed they should think about baskets or something.

  “Yeah. There’s a huge egg hunt over at the Coronado Community Center Saturday. I’m on duty but the schedule says you’re off. You should go. Take the kids.”

  “Maybe.” The kids would have fun with that. Isaiah too. They hadn’t really gotten out of the house much, and a social guy like Isaiah really needed more people contact than just Mark and some movies.

  Which is why you can’t get attached. He’ll move on. Isaiah wasn’t going to be happy playing house with Mark indefinitely. But man, how Mark wanted that. Wanted Isaiah to stick around, stay in Mark’s life. Maybe it wasn’t fair to Isaiah, but Mark loved knowing he was back at the house, waiting for him to come home. There would be food, and if the kids were already asleep, some kissing and cuddling on the couch, and damn but Mark needed that after this long day, needed to reconnect with his guy.

  Not your guy if you can’t tell anyone about him. Fuck. Mark was going to have to figure himself out, and fast.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Mark was late. Isaiah had expected that given that it was the first day of BUD/S for the new recruits. Still, he was a bit down as he got the kids to bed. Mark was better at the stories than him, and he missed having Mark to talk to after they were asleep. He was an adult though, so he changed into pajama bottoms and a T-shirt, grabbed his tablet and stretched out on the bed, working on his sketches for Lydia’s extensive landscaping project.

  Reviewing pics of the property, he was just debating where to put some cacti when there was a knock on his door. “You up?”

  Mark. Isaiah couldn’t help the grin that came out. “Yup. Come in.”

  “Sorry it’s so late. Found the food in the fridge.” Mark had a sheepish look on his face. He’d lost his uniform overshirt, down to just a T-shirt and camo pants with bare feet. “Thanks.”

  “No problem.” Isaiah scooted over and patted the bed next to him. Almost all of their making out had occurred in the family room or Mark’s room. This was the first time he’d had Mark in here, and it felt both strange and nice at the same time. “Come talk? You’re going to make me strain my neck again looking up at you, Giraffe.”

  “Okay.” Mark stretched out next to him. “Gotta warn you though, I’m bushed. Apologies if I fall asleep mid conversation.”

  “That’s okay.” You can sleep here. That was one bridge they still hadn’t crossed that Isaiah would really like to—snuggling up with Mark all night sounded better than a dessert buffet, but he needed Mark to be okay with the idea and wasn’t going to press. Reaching out, he ran a hand over Mark’s hair. It was military short again and felt fuzzy against his palm. “How are the new recruits?”

  “Eager.” Mark groaned. “I had to use my medic skills three times, and it’s only day one. But they’ll get there. Saw a few who will likely ring out, but there’s some who will make it.”

  Setting the tablet aside, Isaiah rolled so he could rub Mark’s shoulders. “They’re lucky to have you as an instructor.”

  “Only if I keep them safe and get them in
shape.” Mark arched into his touch. “That feels good. I swear I’m going to be in better shape than the candidates by the end.”

  “More muscles?” Isaiah leered at him. “Such a hardship.”

  Instead of getting embarrassed like he sometimes did, Mark laughed. “I’ll happily be your eye candy, I guess. But it’s more about function. Gotta get these guys so they can meet the demands of the job.”

  “As long as you’re mine.” Isaiah dropped a kiss on his neck, meaning the words more than Mark would ever know.

  “Did you make the pecan bars in the fridge? I’ll be whatever you want, you keep those around.” Mark smiled at him. His joking mood was nice to see, but part of Isaiah wished he’d seen how seriously Isaiah had meant that he wanted Mark to be his.

  “Aunt Louise and Aunt Cecily visited again. They brought the bars, but I’ll tell them you liked them.”

  “How’s Cecily doing?” Mark turned serious again.

  “About as well as can be expected, I guess.” Isaiah sighed. His aunt seemed older now, more fragile, and he worried about her. Losing Cal had been hard on all of them, but her loss was just unfathomable. Isaiah really wasn’t sure how to make things easier on her. “I think being around the kids is good for her, so I’m going to try to visit more.”

  “That sounds like a good plan.” Mark groaned as Isaiah kept up the shoulder rub. “Did the aunts pretty much raise you? I know your dad traveled a lot...”

  “Yeah.” This wasn’t Isaiah’s favorite subject to talk about. “I was around Daphne’s age when my mom died. Malaria. She was a professor like Dad. After she died, Dad threw himself even more into work and Aunt Cecily came to live with us. Don’t know where I’d be without her.”

  Mark rolled, reversing their positions so that he was hugging Isaiah from behind. He always seemed to know exactly when Isaiah most needed a hug. “I’m sorry. I was so much older when mine died, and it still sucked. Can’t imagine how hard it was for you. Do you remember her at all?”

  “Not really,” Isaiah admitted, letting his head fall back on Mark’s shoulder. This was nice. “Just vague stuff. Like I can remember bits and pieces of when they took me with them to Florida to a conference. We went to Disney World. Or I’ll remember a song she’d hum. Sometimes I forget until something jogs my mind, like a book the girls own that reminds me of one she’d read.”

  “Is that how it’ll be for Daph, you think?”

  “Probably.” Isaiah sighed. “That’s what the counselor says. All the pictures we have will help—I don’t have nearly so many of my mom. And all we can really do is what Aunt Cecily did—try to fill the spaces with as many good memories as possible, give her the best childhood we can.”

  “Yeah.” Mark buried his face in Isaiah’s hair for several long moments. “That’s what I want to do. Like we should get them stuff from the Easter bunny. And there’s an egg hunt this Saturday. I’m off so we should go.”

  “Sure.” Isaiah forced the word out. He wanted that so much—making Easter baskets together, doing outings. Like a real family. The five of them.

  “We’re lucky to have you.” Mark kissed his cheek, further dismantling the safeguards Isaiah had on his heart.

  “Back at you,” Isaiah said, throat thick. He turned so he could kiss Mark on the mouth. He made it a fast peck, let Mark be the one to chase his mouth for a longer, softer kiss. Mark was seriously the best kisser Isaiah had ever met because he really took his time, no rush as he leisurely explored Isaiah’s mouth before doing the lip sucking thing that never failed to drive Isaiah wild.

  “Mmm.” Mark gave a happy sigh. “I was daydreaming about that all day. Missed you.”

  “Missed you too.” Yup. For real, Isaiah’s heart was never recovering from this man.

  He leaned in for another kiss before Mark could see the emotion that was inevitably in his eyes. Smiling, Mark met him with an eager mouth. They kissed for a long time, trading turns taking over, going slow then deep and back again until Isaiah was dizzy from it. Growling softly, Mark pulled him closer, getting a hand on Isaiah’s ass.

  “Oh fuck.” Isaiah loved when he got a little aggressive like this. Slowly, over the past few weeks, Mark had gotten more and more comfortable with their make-out sessions, and Isaiah was only too happy to let him take the lead, show what he wanted. It was all so good—the endless kisses and little touches and losing himself in this man.

  “Sometimes...” Mark nipped at Isaiah’s throat. “Sometimes, I’m too keyed up after a day like today. Not all the time, but sometimes I jerk off so I can sleep faster.”

  “Yeah?” They’d rubbed off together a few other occasions after the first time, but hadn’t ventured out of that territory. “You want to try doing that together?”

  “Your bed’s pretty damn comfortable.” Mark’s cheeks were that adorable shade of pink again. And honestly, Isaiah was more excited about getting him all night than he was about the impending orgasms. “Can we kiss while we do it?”

  “Absolutely. You’re wearing too many clothes though. Doubt you want to sleep in those.” He indicated Mark’s pants.

  “Okay.” Sitting up, Mark pulled off his T-shirt before shedding his pants. He paused with his thumbs in his underwear waistband. “Boxers too?”

  “If you’re serious about being my eye candy, hell yes.” Isaiah grinned at him, then gentled his voice. “But whatever works for you. However you usually do it.”

  “You too.” He motioned at Isaiah’s pajama bottoms before pushing his boxers down and off. And good lord, the man had won the gene pool lottery and then some. Wide shoulders. Muscled back and chest. Chest hair that was a bit darker than the many shades of brown on his head. Meaty ass that would be at home in any professional sports arena. Thick cock, but Isaiah was trying hard not to stare at that, not wanting to make Mark uncomfortable.

  He removed his pajamas, then crawled back onto the bed. And okay, fully naked together, on a bed, in a room with a door, was amazing—forget Easter candy, this was better than any seasonal treat. Lying down next to him, Mark pulled him in for another slow kiss. He stroked his hands down Isaiah’s arms, across his chest, down his stomach.

  “I love touching you.” Mark’s tone had a lot of wonder to it, made Isaiah stretch and preen. His hand hovered just above Isaiah’s aching cock. “Can I...”

  “Oh yeah.” Isaiah had to work to not sound too eager, and then had to do complex calculus to keep from shooting the moment Mark’s big hand connected with his cock. Mark didn’t immediately start jacking it either, trailing his long fingers down the shaft and back up, circling the head with his thumb. “Thought you were all done torturing people for the day.”

  “Show me what you like,” Mark ordered, that hint of aggressiveness that Isaiah found so damn intoxicating.

  “That.” He released a shaky laugh.

  “Smart ass. I want to see how you usually do it.” Moving his hand, Mark gently stroked Isaiah’s thighs, fingers venturing to explore his balls.

  “Okay.” Isaiah wrapped his fist around his cock. He really needed this to last more than thirty seconds, but it was hard with Mark’s hazel eyes so intent on him, Mark keeping up his explorations. “I like to go slow. If I’ve got time. So sometimes I just jack the shaft, save touching the head for later.”

  “You like a light grip like that?” Mark’s eyes narrowed, and Isaiah half expected him to whip out a pen and paper for notes.

  “You planning on taking over?” Isaiah countered. “Because I’m easy. Pretty sure I could get there just from how you look at me sometimes. Light. Firm. It’s all good. Just not too tight around the head.”

  “Can I?” Mark’s tongue darted out to lick at his lower lip.

  “Uh-huh.” Isaiah released his cock, linking both hands behind his head, letting Mark run the show. “Just don’t expect me to last. You feel so much better than my own touch.”


  “Yeah?” Imitating what Isaiah had been doing, Mark used a soft grip and slow stroke on Isaiah’s cock. “I really want to see you come.”

  Isaiah let himself moan, knowing by now how much Mark liked it when he was vocal. “Not gonna have to wait long. Just like that. Faster if you want.”

  “Man, I really love watching you. Listening to you.” Mark sped up his hand as his other hand went back to Isaiah’s balls, lightly stroking.

  “Fuck. Mark.” Heat licked up Isaiah’s arms and legs.

  “Yeah, like that. Love it when you say my name.”

  Hell. Isaiah would put it on repeat if it got him more of Mark’s touches. “Mark. Fuck. You are so good at this.”

  Leaning closer, Mark graced him with a soft kiss. “Come for me, Ike. Please. I want to see you go.”

  “Faster. Little harder. Fuck. It’s close.”

  Mark took the direction perfectly, giving Isaiah the sort of strokes guaranteed to get him off. “Tell me. Tell me when.”

  Oh yeah. That hint of bossiness was gonna do it. “Now. Fuck. Now. Mark.”

  The orgasm barreled into him, making him shake and shudder as Mark milked his cock for more spurts. Still trembling, he pulled Mark close.

  “Come here, you.” He kissed him long slow. “Okay, that wins. Best one yet.”

  “Hell yes.” Mark let out a strained chuckle. “Fuck. I liked that.”

  “You want a turn?” Keeping his voice light, Isaiah stroked Mark’s impressive biceps.

  “Kiss me.” If Mark kept up that demanding tone, going for second helpings wasn’t out of the realm of possibility for Isaiah. He happily complied, quickly wiping off his stomach with his discarded T-shirt, then snuggling Mark close so they could kiss and touch however he wanted.

  Mark’s kiss was hungry now, little gasps escaping as their tongues tangled. Isaiah ran a hand down Mark’s torso, stopping right above his cock. “This okay?”