Squared Away

by Annabeth Albert

  “Yeah.” Mark yanked him in for more kissing, so Isaiah started a slow stroke. Mark’s cock was heavy and veiny and felt amazing in Isaiah’s hand. He’d picked up from Mark’s questions that Mark liked more friction than he did, so he tried a tighter grip, and that got a moan from Mark. Using the kisses as a guide for what was working for Mark, Isaiah varied his strokes, trying different rhythms.

  “Ungh. Close.” Mark slid a hand down to cover Isaiah’s, speeding him up. The grip was close to crushing, so Isaiah slipped his hand free.

  “That’s it,” he encouraged, moving to kiss Mark’s sensitive neck and shoulders. “Show me how you do it.”

  “I’m right there.” Mark panted. “Just...can’t...”

  “No rush. You’re so fucking hot like this. You’re going to make me need to go again, watching you.”

  “Really?” Mark’s eyes fluttered open. “I want that. Touch yourself now. And kiss me again. On the mouth.”

  “Yes, Bossy.” Isaiah lay so his body was pressed against Mark’s, as close as possible, everything touching, even their feet. It didn’t take too many strokes of his own hand to get himself back fully hard, get his body interested in a repeat. “Fuck, this is good.”

  “Say my name,” Mark moaned against his lips.

  “Mark. Gonna get me off again, Mark,” he groaned, speeding up his hand.

  “Need you.” Their kisses were losing all finesse, but Isaiah couldn’t care less. Mark wanted him. Needed him.

  “You’ve got me.” Isaiah had never meant words more.

  “I’m going to come.” Mark’s voice was shredded now.

  “Me too. Do it with me.” Isaiah tightened his grip, riding the edge, waiting for Mark, wanting his orgasm more than his own, wanting to share this with him. He’d never felt so close to another human in his life. He hoped Mark felt it too, this magic around them, the spell they wove.

  “Mmm.” Mark’s whole body tensed, and he buried his face in Isaiah’s neck. He loved how Mark usually did that when he came, like he needed that last point of connection. And that was all it took for Isaiah’s own orgasm. He groaned his way through it, cock definitely oversensitive after coming twice so close together. And it was more intense, sharing it like this, knowing Mark was coming too.

  “Fuck. Now we sleep.” Limbs like jelly, he cleaned them off the best he could. Mark wrapped him up from behind.

  “I think I like you more than my pillow.” Mark yawned.

  “Yeah, well, I like you more than lots of things,” Isaiah said in the understatement of the year. Chocolate. The ocean. This house. My life. All that. There wasn’t much Isaiah wouldn’t trade for more of this, more nights with Mark sleeping beside him. And all he could do was hope that Mark felt the same way.

  Chapter Sixteen

  “Is it good to be back in civilian clothes?” Isaiah asked Mark with a laugh, gesturing at his jeans.

  “Sort of.” Mark wasn’t really sure how to answer that. Having a day off after a grueling week of putting the recruits through their paces was weird. And Mark needed to enjoy it as he might not get another Saturday for a while due to their rotating schedules. Hell Week loomed large—the third week of BUD/S when the recruits would get limited sleep and be put through exercises night and day. It was the week when a lot of candidates would “ring out” of training. Mark hoped his favorite recruits made it through.

  And okay, he wasn’t supposed to have favorites. But he totally did. There was Swenson, the oft-injured recruit trying to make it through on his sprained ankle. And Jordan who wanted to get into the medic program and peppered him with questions. And Ballinger whose buddy had rung out yesterday, and whom Mark was pulling for to make it on his own.

  Also weird? Getting dressed in Isaiah’s room. He’d thought ahead, brought up some clean laundry last night. And that had seemed...momentous somehow. An acknowledgment that he’d been sleeping in Isaiah’s room most of the week and didn’t plan to stop. Some nights they did the orgasm-sharing thing, other times trading massages and some nights they just talked and lay close until they fell asleep. And all those things were nice, different ways of reconnecting after his grueling schedule.

  “Come on. Time to feed the hungry barbarians.” Isaiah gave him a quick peck on his way out of the room. He seemed to really enjoy Mark sleeping in his room, and if he wanted something more, more sex say, he wasn’t pushing for it. Mark still worried though, sure this...whatever they had going wouldn’t be enough for Isaiah long-term.

  But now wasn’t the moment for a deep state-of-us talk, as he could hear the kids chattering to Isaiah about the egg hunt and what they should wear and how much candy they’d be allowed to eat.

  They had driven since the community center was just far enough to be a tough walk with the kids, but parking for the egg hunt was as nuts as he’d expected. Felt like half the island had turned out. Luckily the weather was perfect, not a cloud in sight.

  “I’ll wear him.” Mark surprised himself by volunteering as Isaiah got the pack out of the back of the SUV. “We don’t want you reinjuring your back.”

  “Oh I don’t know. I kind of like how that turned out last time.” Isaiah winked at him before helping him get Liam settled on his back.

  “Geez, kid, did you gain five pounds this week?” Mark teased. “What’s Uncle Ikey been feeding you?”

  “I think he’s going to walk early,” Isaiah reported. “Neither of the girls were early walkers, but he seems eager.”

  “That’s my big boy.” Mark jiggled Liam’s foot. “Take a video if I’m on duty.”

  “Will do.” Isaiah had a funny, tender look on his face, one that made Mark look away fast. What if I can’t be everything you need? His chest felt too full, to the point that he needed to tinker with the chest clip on the pack. Gathering up the girls, who’d insisted on wearing frilly dresses, they headed to the grassy fields surrounding the community center.

  The egg hunts were divided up by age levels, and watching Isaiah help Zoe with the toddler hunt made Mark’s chest all warm again. He and the other two kids watched from the sidelines. Another young guy, probably twenty-ish and someone’s big brother or babysitter, came up to Isaiah and Zoe. He had very blond hair and a big, flirty grin. Mark hated him on sight.

  He said something that made Isaiah laugh. Man, Isaiah really did have the best smile, so wide and welcoming, and Mark did not want him sharing it with the other guy, the one who was looking at Isaiah like he was the last beer on an August day.

  What if this is what Isaiah needs? The doubts from earlier returned double strength. Maybe Isaiah needed someone closer to his age. Fun. Sexy. Out. All the things Mark struggled with. But then Isaiah glanced over at him, turning his smile Mark’s way, and Mark knew he wasn’t giving up Isaiah without a fight. He strode over to him.

  “Zoe get lots of eggs?” he asked, staring down the other guy. See? This is my guy. Maybe he couldn’t publicly claim Isaiah yet, but he sure as hell could scare off this interloper, using his full height to loom over him and Isaiah.

  “Yup.” Isaiah lifted Zoe up. “You ready to explore more?”

  “Yes.” So ready.

  “Nice meeting you,” Blondie said to Isaiah. “Maybe I’ll see you around?”

  Not if I have any say. Mark glared at him.

  “Maybe.” Isaiah shrugged.

  Mark seethed over that maybe as they walked around the festival. Did Isaiah want the freedom to pursue guys like Blondie? They’d never really said that what they had going was exclusive. Would he have gotten the guy’s number if Mark hadn’t been there? Fuck. Mark hated not knowing.

  And everywhere they walked, people seemed to know Isaiah. The craft area. The line for pictures with the Easter bunny. The games.

  “Isaiah! And girls!” On the way to the face painting booth, they were stopped by a family of...good lord, did they really have six little
ones? Yup. Six kids. Two parents. Both of whom seemed to know Isaiah.

  “This is the Katz family. From the preschool.” Isaiah made the introductions as he had with the last two families that stopped them. “This is...the kids’ Uncle Mark.”

  There was a pause there, one reflected in Isaiah’s eyes as he glanced over at Mark. He said he didn’t need something public, but maybe that was starting to chafe a bit. Fuck. Why couldn’t this stuff be easier for him? Let Isaiah introduce him...however. That would be sure to put an end to guys like Blondie hitting on his guy. But the thought made his stomach do drunken cartwheels.

  “We were over at Lydia and Jane’s for a playdate yesterday. Their yard looks so good,” the mother of the group enthused. “What would it take to get you to come look at ours?”

  “I’ve got a business card.” Isaiah dug in his wallet. “I’m working on the website, but there’s a basic rate schedule up there now.”

  “You have business cards?” Mark asked when the family had moved on. He wasn’t sure why this rankled him, just that it did.

  “Yeah.” Isaiah offered him one. “They just came the other day.”

  New Growth Gardens, the card proclaimed with a website address and Isaiah’s name and phone number. It had a cheerful little cactus graphic in the corner.

  “You’re starting a business?”

  “I guess I am.” Isaiah laughed. “It started with Lydia’s yard, but now other people are asking. And I need something. Gotta plan for next year, when you sell the house. No way can I afford to stay on Coronado, but if I get enough customers here, that’ll help.”

  So he was planning on moving on. Not living together indefinitely. Mark’s throat burned. He should be happy for him, proud of him starting a business, going after his newfound passion. But all he could manage was a tepid, “Yeah.”

  “You worried I won’t have enough time for the kids?” Isaiah frowned at him. “I’m working everything around that. Don’t worry.”

  Don’t worry. Ha. Mark was a basket of worries now. And he’d managed to piss Isaiah off. “Not worried. You always put the kids first.”

  “Thanks.”

  But what about me? What about us? He didn’t know how to vocalize those questions without sounding like he wanted to hold Isaiah back from going after his dreams. So instead he said, “I hope the business is a big success. Just surprised you didn’t tell me.”

  Looking away, Isaiah shrugged. “You’ve had a busy couple of weeks.”

  Fuck. Isaiah had a point—a lot of their life and interaction revolved around Mark’s work, his needs, his preferences. Maybe Mark needed to do a better job putting Isaiah first. Or else you’re going to lose him.

  “Not too busy for you.” Mark stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. “Never too busy to hear about what’s important to you.”

  “Thanks.” Isaiah’s voice sounded thick and he stared at Mark’s hand. This was the first time Mark had touched him in public other than the necessary kid handoffs. And the world didn’t end. Didn’t even tilt—

  “Wizard? Is that you?” A dark-haired woman with three school-aged kids, two boys and a girl, called out as she walked over. “Thought I recognized you. My husband, Tim, said to look out for you. I’m Mary Ellen Johnson.”

  Ah. Johnson’s family. Mark dropped his hand from Isaiah’s shoulder to shake her hand and wave at the kids as she introduced them.

  “And who do you have with you?” She had a warm voice and was full of smiles for the kids.

  “This is...” Oh fuck. For Pete’s sake, why couldn’t Mark get the words out? Any words. “This is my family.” There. That was something. But he could tell from the way Isaiah’s face shuttered that maybe it wasn’t enough. Mark stumbled on with the kids’ names and ages, trying to make small talk.

  “Tim says you’re fabulous with the recruits,” Mary Ellen said as she straightened the oldest kid’s collar. “Whipping them into shape. Swear though, I’ve never seen him so tired. You coping?”

  “Yeah. I miss the kids though.” And Isaiah. He wanted to share how knowing Isaiah was waiting for him at the end of the day really did help him cope with the long hours, but he wasn’t that talkative, even on the best of days, and his throat was rapidly turning to glue.

  “I bet. You need any help with them? I should give you our number. And Tim said I should introduce you to my sister. She loves little ones.”

  Oh fuck. This situation was quickly going FUBAR, and he was powerless to stop it. “Not much time for socializing,” he managed to get out.

  “Well, still, take my number. We can do a playdate sometime.” She whipped out her phone so Mark felt obliged to do the same as they exchanged numbers. “And I mean it about my sister,” she added before her kids pulled her in the direction of the older kids’ hunt, and she followed them, waving at Mark as she left.

  Isaiah was subdued as they continued on, not looking at Mark, and focusing on the kids.

  All your fault, idiot, Mark lectured himself. “You want me to do the hunt with Daphne?” he asked, if only to break the silence.

  “Sure. Since you’re coping so well on your own and all.” Okay, yeah. Isaiah was understandably salty.

  “I’m sorry,” Mark said in a low voice. “I didn’t know what else to say.”

  “I know.” Isaiah looked tired, eyes heavy and hooded. “You take Daphne. I’ll take Zoe to the little kid games.”

  And just like that, they split up, Mark wondering if his apology would be enough. Maybe Isaiah had already reached the end of his considerable patience.

  * * *

  Isaiah clicked the baby’s car seat into place, then slid into the passenger seat. Because of fucking course Mark had had to drive today. He suppressed the growl that wanted to escape.

  “I bet they fall asleep before I’m even back on the main road.” Mark was trying too hard to be in a good mood, fake laugh and too-hearty voice.

  “Maybe.” Isaiah wasn’t sure that silence from the kids was what they needed right then. He’d been the one to tell Mark he wouldn’t push for anything public. He was the only one to blame for today’s mess.

  “If they do, you want me to just drive on?” Mark glanced over at him as he pulled out of the parking space. Tension bracketed his eyes and mouth. “Maybe that would be fun? Go up the coast again...”

  “Nah.” Hours alone in the car with Mark was not what he needed. “I need to get back, work on my website.”

  “Okay.” Mark sounded sad, and that made Isaiah’s neck hurt. He didn’t want to feel guilty for turning down a drive. And in the weeks since the funeral, they’d done the “kids are asleep so just drive” thing more than once. It was kind of a thing for them, driving aimlessly, the way he had when he was younger with Aunt Cecily, finding pretty scenery to look at and talking about random topics while the kids napped.

  But Isaiah didn’t want to get into habits with Mark, make traditions and memories, not if this wasn’t real to Mark. He’d been slightly heartened when Mark had referred to them as his family, but all that had crumbled when Mark hadn’t even really tried to dodge Mary Ellen’s attempt to set him up with her sister. How hard would it have been to say he was seeing someone and leave it vague? Even that would have been an improvement over Mark’s tepid response.

  “You’re grinding your teeth.” Mark reached over, then seemed to think the better of it, returning his hand to the steering wheel as they turned onto their street. “Would it help if I said I’m sorry?”

  “I’m not sure,” Isaiah admitted. He honestly wasn’t sure what he needed. “Hey what’s that car?”

  An unfamiliar sedan was in front of the house as Mark pulled into the driveway. And before they were even done unloading the sleepy kids, two women hopped out of the car, headed straight for them. Isaiah’s stomach roiled, his body already deciding this wasn’t going to be good. Should have let Mar
k go for a drive.

  “Oh, I’m so glad we caught you!” The taller of the women approached them. Isaiah wasn’t glad at all. She had “social worker” written all over her, from her twinset top to her sensible shoes and narrow gaze. And sure enough, she continued on, “I’m Diane and this is Stacey. We’re with the state. The hospital social worker alerted us to your case, asked for a welfare check, but we’ve been so swamped, it took us a few weeks to get to you guys.”

  “Are we in trouble?” Isaiah hugged the sleeping Liam closer to him, like that might help.

  “This is just routine. Especially in cases like yours—the hospital social worker didn’t have specific concerns, but she just wanted to make sure you had every resource available to you.”

  Ha. That sounded like a bunch of legalese bunk. “We’re managing.”

  “I’m sure you are.” The second social worker had a more soothing voice. “We just want to talk to you about things like parenting classes and such, and do our standard welfare check of the home.”

  “Do you want a copy of my petition for guardianship?” Thank God that was already in process, although with the way the courts were backed up, it could be months still before he had a resolution.

  “I’ve got copies of the wills as well,” Mark added. “And the health insurance cards and stuff like that.”

  “Excellent. Let’s go in, and we can chat.” The first social worker made it sound like they’d have a tea and like this was purely optional. Isaiah knew better. Sure he could insist on them getting a warrant to enter, but that would only escalate stuff even further. Fuck. His heart was hammering double time, and his hand shook unlocking the door.

  “It’ll be okay,” Mark whispered, right behind him. “I promise.”

  Ha. Isaiah wasn’t sure he bought Mark’s promises. Not today. Not when the social workers went from room to room with a checklist, even opening the fridge. Thank God, he’d just done a shopping trip, and there were plenty of snacks and kid-friendly foods for them to see. He got his tablet for Daphne and Zoe to try to distract them, and put Liam in his bouncy chair. Naptime clearly wasn’t happening.