Ryder

by Ali Parker

  I contemplated calling, but wouldn’t let myself. I messaged her instead, telling her I made it last night and was so tired I fell asleep before I had a chance to call. I left a smiley face emoji on the end so she’d think I was happy and hit send.

  I thought I’d gotten away with it, but then she called me.

  “Hey, Nora. What’s happening out in the country?” I imagined her sitting at her breakfast table over one of her egg-white omelets.

  “You left your sweater. Luke brought it over this morning.” She paused as if to wait for a reaction, but I was silent.

  In my mind, the vision of Luke and me undressing, him peeling off my sweater to instigate it, as his lips burned against mine, kept playing on repeat.

  “He told me what happened. He showed up here this morning bright and early smelling like booze and I think he spent the whole night drinking. He was a real mess, Harper.” Her tone was almost scolding, and my heart ached thinking about him in such a state.

  “I didn’t think it would affect him like that. He’ll be fine.”

  “How could it not affect him? He’s in love with you. He asked you to stay didn’t he? That’s why you left early. You were running away from him. I knew it. You’ve got it bad.” Her words surprised me.

  “It’s going to take some time, but we’ll get over it and move on. It wasn’t supposed to develop into anything, and I never wanted it to.” I was running from my problems not trying to create more of them.

  “Well, good luck with that. And when you come to your senses you’re always welcome back. I’ll mail your sweater.”

  “Keep it.” I knew if she did then I’d always have an excuse to come back.

  “Yeah, that’s what I thought.” She let out a breath that created static through the phone. “You know, he had a good idea. You’d love it here.”

  “I’ve got to go, Nora. I’ll call you later.” I hung up the phone before she could say anything else and then went to the living room and lay on the couch. My head hung off the edge, and I noticed the cabinet across the way was open. I had dug around for an envelope the day I’d left for Nora’s, and I knew inside was also something else I hadn’t remembered in a long time.

  I sat up and then got to my feet. I crossed the room and then dropped to my knees in front of the little cabinet. I’d always tucked things in there to get them out of my way, but when I’d first moved in, I used it to store my home office supplies and a few old scrapbooks.

  I thumbed through the papers I’d shoved in there over the years and found my little scrapbook I was thinking about. It held lots of memories, but most importantly a letter my mother had written me on my graduation day.

  I turned the pages seeing things I hadn’t thought about and forgotten I had over the years and then I came to the letter. It was on a piece of pink stationary that had a little bird in the corner. My mom had always used stationary and even kept a small writing desk that I wish I’d kept. I unfolded the paper and read the letter.

  Seeing her handwriting brought tears to my eyes but reading the words, it put an ache in my heart. She’d been proud of me. I remember reading the letter back on the day she’d given it to me and how I’d blushed. The words didn’t mean as much then as they did now. I took for granted that mom would always be around to write me sappy letters and embarrass me in front of my friends. How I missed her now.

  I could still hear her voice too, with every word the sound filled my mind and was clearer to me than it could have been if she were sitting there with me.

  At the bottom, she signed it with a row of hugs and kisses, and then finally “Follow your heart and don’t ever let anything hold you back,” had been the postscript. Love, Mom.

  Follow my heart.

  I hadn’t done that for so long. I’d tried to follow my dreams and it’s funny how pursuing your dreams can get in the way of what the heart wants. I’d sacrificed plenty for what I thought were dreams; the perfect life and the perfect career; fancy home, expensive car, and wardrobe.

  What did any of that get me in the end?

  I read those words over and over and knew what I had to do.

  Chapter 14

  Luke

  There was something about swinging a hammer that relieved stress. I’d decided to fix the old broken stretch of fence that ran across the property line on the west side of the house. Jeremy had told me to hire someone, but I needed to do something to clear my mind and maybe a little sweat would get rid of the booze I’d put into my system over the past twenty-four hours.

  I’d sat in my window and watched her drive away in her fancy car headed off to the city like her ass was on fire. I probably should have run after her and made her stay, but I didn’t want her that way, spending the rest of her life resenting me and wondering what if.

  I put another board in place and hammered it in, missing the head of the nail more times than necessary. It didn’t matter. Nothing did anymore, and it would be a while before I felt differently.

  I’d done the right thing and taken her sweater to Nora. I figured she could get in touch with her better than I could. She’d seen the hurt in my eyes and asked me what happened. I probably shouldn’t have poured my heart out to the doctor, but she’d asked and once I started talking I couldn’t stop. Not until I’d told her everything shy of the details of our sex life.

  She was shocked that Harper had left without mentioning my offer. She’d known something had happened between us but didn’t think it was about her staying. I think she’d hated to see her go too.

  Once I had the board in place, I stepped back and looked at my handiwork. It would do, but I’d have to paint it later. It was time to go inside and get cleaned up. I’d burned away the day, and the mosquitos were looking for their dinner. It wasn’t going to be me. I walked to the house catching a glance at Nora’s place on the way. I could almost see Harper sitting there, sipping her coffee with her feet propped up. I looked away hoping to forget.

  I went inside and found Jeremy having a heated conversation, and I kept going not wanting to know what it was about or who it was with. I needed to get upstairs and wash the stink of beer sweat that had evacuated my pores.

  I managed to get the shower going and undress without thinking of Harper, but as I stood there under the shower spray, I thought back to our last night together. We’d made love nice and slow, and then I’d picked her up and carried her to the shower. She was everywhere, and I couldn’t get the sight of her out of my head. I closed my eyes and picked up the thoughts right where I’d left off.

  Once I had her in the shower, I took my time lathering her up, taking special care with her breasts as I rubbed my cock between the cheeks of her ass. She moaned, writhing against me and then she’d placed both hands on the tile and spread her legs, glancing back as if giving me an invitation. I made sure we were rinsed and that she was ready for me. Her sweet pussy was still slick from round one, and I went down on my knees to service her. She rubbed her slick heat across my mouth and tongue, and I pushed my fingers deep as I gripped my cock with my free hand. It was ready to go, so I stood up and grabbed her hips, and aimed right for her sweet spot.

  It had felt so good thrusting deep inside her, and as I opened my eyes, I found myself alone, back in reality, standing under the steady spray of the shower head my cock hard in my hand.

  My erection wasn’t going to take care of itself and I’d apparently already been working on it without realizing. I leaned forward and rested my head against the tile and closed my eyes.

  I thought about her sitting in my lap, her soft curvy ass brushing against me. How I had wanted her so bad that very first time. She’d been so sure she’d refuse me only to come back. I knew what she’d wanted, and I’d given it to her, every single inch of it.

  I grabbed my balls and tugged gently, my heavy load aching as I worked my cock in long, steady strokes.

  In another flash she was laying back on the blanket in the meadow, the sun kissing her soft shoulders where I plant
ed kisses while thrusting inside her. I had rolled her over, pulling her across me, her long legs straddling me. She had soaked my cock and screamed my name. God, the sound of it was so good on her lips as she came apart around me.

  I moaned and realized it wasn’t part of my memory. I had made the sound out loud, and more were bubbling from my throat. I felt my balls tighten and then I sped up, milking the release that spilled to the tile. It was the saddest thing I’d ever seen as I remembered Harper wiping her mouth, and the sensation of busting my nut in her throat. I pumped my cock until the last drop hit the tile and washed down the drain, and then I collapsed against the tile, falling until my ass hit the floor.

  How was I going to get through this? I couldn’t bear another moment without her. I had to do something. I let the water run until it went cold and then I dragged my ass up. I hadn’t ever felt so low before, not even when my wife left me. Even though I’d thought that was the end of the world, this was true hell and ten times worse in comparison. I got dressed and walked downstairs still contemplating a trip to New York.

  I couldn’t let myself do it. I wouldn’t run to her.

  Jeremy was in the kitchen in a shitty mood. “Did you use all the hot water?”

  “Yeah, sorry.” I went to the fridge to grab another beer and hoped that if I got good and drunk, I’d stay off the highway.

  “You’ve drunk enough beer. Make that one the last.” Jeremy walked over and opened the door to the fridge. He scanned the beer stock and slammed the door. “I’m cutting you off. Don’t make me have to lock the fridge.”

  I held up my middle finger and cracked open the top of my cold one.

  “Very nice. You look like hell. She really went home didn’t she?”

  “Yep, and there wasn’t a damned thing I could do to stop her. I even offered for her to move down and let me take care of her.” I shook my head. It was an idiotic thought. She was too independent for that. I remembered her telling me she wasn’t a girl; she was a woman; strong and able to care for herself. She didn’t need me. She’d gone back to the city where she was in charge of her life and her decisions. My stomach turned thinking about her being all alone there. Did she even have anyone besides her ex and her patients? I doubted it, and what did I have? A town full of people who adored me because I’d helped them out? I needed more than paid admiration.

  “Stop sitting around feeling sorry for yourself and go after her. Women like that shit.”

  “You sound like Finn. If you knew anything about women then why don’t you keep one longer than it takes to bust a nut? Why haven’t you marched over there and swept Nora off her feet.”

  “Stop throwing shit in my face and do what’s best for you for a change. Go get her. Hell, move her ass in, I don’t care if you marry her, just don’t let this one get away.” He pushed my shoulder. “Go.”

  “Who would look after you?” I nudged him back.

  “If I get into trouble Nora’s right next door.” He motioned in the direction of her house.

  “You know, if me leaving is what will make you go after Nora, then maybe I should.” I put the beer down and went for my keys.

  “I did go after Nora. All I did was piss her off.”

  “Yeah, well have you met her sister? What if the same thing happens? She can be just as stubborn.”

  “No one’s as stubborn as Nora. And don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine, and I’ll even do one better and promise you I’ll stay out of trouble.” That was a tall order for Jeremy.

  “I want to head out as soon as possible. If I drive all night, I can make it there by morning.” I started to walk away, but he grabbed my arm.

  “Maybe you should get some rest first, catch a few hours of sleep and then head out.” I shook my head. I wouldn’t give myself time to talk my way out of it.

  “No, I’d never be able to sleep. I’m too wound up. I’ll be safe and stop if I need to. She won’t be expecting me, so I’m going to get Nora to tell me where she lives.”

  He patted my back. “Good luck, brother. Be safe.”

  I hurried upstairs knowing I wouldn’t slow down until I was with her again. I wasn’t coming back without her.

  Chapter 15

  Harper

  I closed the door after my first patient of the morning left. There was an ache in the pit of my stomach, and I didn’t think I could take another minute at work. It was always the same, people in and out, and the level of their grief was so disheartening that I was finding it hard to lend a helpful ear. I wondered if it was the same all across the world or would it be any different in a smaller town.

  The thought of not giving them the proper care, of neglecting my duties was more than I could take. I’d seen what could happen. Maybe Kentucky is what I needed. I had almost had myself talked into it the night before, but I had thought I’d give my job another shot. Maybe the break had done me good, and I could return and lose myself in other people’s problems.

  Not a chance. I sat behind my desk and dialed Nora. I’d made up my mind.

  She answered the phone, and before she could get past her hello all of my emotions came spilling out at once. “I’m coming back. I can’t do this here anymore. These people are sucking the life out of me, and I feel so guilty for feeling that way. Besides, Luke is the man for me. We both know it. Don’t you think?”

  There was a moment of silence, and then she gasped. “You really mean that?” Her voice rose an octave, and she gave a little squeal. Then her tone went serious again. “Have you heard from him?”

  “Who, Luke? No. Why?” There was no way he was going to call begging for me.

  “Oh, um I just wondered. Jeremy is here. He fell and hit his head. I just stitched him up.” She didn’t sound a bit concerned.

  “Oh wow, is he okay?” A groan of frustration was my answer. “Nora?”

  “He’s fine, but he bled a lot. Took twelve stitches— five in seven out. You know head wounds. He should be fine, and it didn’t damage his pretty face. So you’re really coming back?”

  “Yeah, I’m going to get things in order today. I know I need to call him, but I’m just so scared. What if he’s changed his mind? You know about his offer. If I do come back, I’m going to need a place to work. There isn’t anything for me there unless you need a receptionist.” I had run from him, and I couldn’t blame him if he never wanted to see me again or had come to his senses in my absence.

  “He’s not, trust me. I told you he was drinking himself stupid. Call me before you leave okay?” She seemed a little off if not overly concerned.

  She sounded just like mom. “I promise. I’ll let you know when to expect me. Take it easy on poor Jeremy. He’s an idiot, and he tries too hard, but it could be worse, right? At least you know he’s crazy about you.”

  “No, I’m not sure it could be worse, but yeah, his infatuation is a bit crazy. I better write him a prescription for pain before he hits on my receptionist. Talk soon.” Her end of the phone went dead as my secretary, Susan, stuck her head inside my door.

  Her face had gone white. “There’s a gentleman here to see you. He doesn’t have an appointment, but he says you’ll want to see him. He said his name is Luke?” Her eyes were wide, and I had a feeling she wanted to know how I knew him. I stood to my feet, my eyes wide and my jaw on the floor. I must have looked terrified. “Would you like for me to send him away or call security?”

  I snapped to reality and found my voice. This was why Nora was acting so strange. She knew he would be arriving soon. He must have driven all night. Only she could tell him how to find me. “No, please send him in.”

  Susan stepped aside, and as I walked around the desk, Luke entered the room looking road weary. I froze unable to speak or move. His green eyes were shadowed with emotion, but as gorgeous as ever and I ached at the sight of him. His posture was stiff, and I didn’t know if it were nerves or the fact that he’d ridden that bike all that way.

  We stood for the longest time just staring at each other and
then I offered him a seat. “Please sit. I know you’re tired. It’s quite a long drive isn’t it?” I pulled my lips in tight to stop my rambling.

  “I’m good, I’ve been sitting a long time, so I’d like to stand if it’s okay.” He didn’t seem as happy to see me as I had expected he’d be and I started to rethink my decision. He didn’t want me. That’s not what this was about.

  “Suit yourself.” I lifted a shoulder. “Nora asked if I’d spoken with you. I just got off the phone with her.” I remembered his brother and wondered if he knew what had happened. “Oh, and Jeremy got stitches. He fell and hit his head? Did you know?”

  “Dammit. No, I didn’t. I swear he’s a grown man, and I can’t leave him alone for a day.” He shook his head, and a smile teased around his lips. “At least he’s in good hands. Did Nora tell you I was on my way?”

  “No, but now I know why she wanted me to call her before I headed back that way.”

  He took a step forward, shifting his weight. “You were heading back?” His brow lifted and he met my eyes dead on.

  “Yes. Unless you came here to tell me to stay away or to put me in my place.”

  He closed the distance between us and took me in his arms. “The only place you belong is with me, back home. Did you reconsider my offer? Is that why you’re coming back?” His hands felt so good against me that I locked my arms around his neck. Before I could answer his lips crushed against mine.

  After a moment he pulled away. “Is that a yes?”

  “Yes. If you’re absolutely sure you want me, big load of baggage and all?” I searched his eyes, and he brushed my hair back behind my ear. It was as if I was the most precious thing he’d ever held in his arms.

  He rested his forehead against mine. “Yeah, I’m sure. I should never have let you leave. It killed me to see you go. I couldn’t get you out of my head if I tried. Not that I’d want to.”