Starr Fated

by G E Griffin

  “You’ve always said the best jobs were in London, so you’ve always had your heart set on working there, or else maybe New York. Never once have I heard you mention anything about coming over here to the dear old Emerald Isle. That is until now, after you’ve suddenly turned up out of the blue, looking like death warmed up.”

  “It wasn’t out of the blue. I rang you first,” I pointed out.

  Nana sighed.

  “No matter, darlin. Have it your own way. Of course I’m more than happy to have you here for as long as you want to stay. And no doubt things will sort themselves out in the fullness of time. What will be, will be,” she pronounced.

  As it was now Monday lunchtime, I couldn’t help glancing at my watch, wondering if Abbey had accomplished the tasks I’d begged her to do for me. I wondered what Liam’s reaction to my letter had been – relief, primarily I imagined. He’d got his precious design brief completed, and me out of both his and his brothers’ hair. I could almost hear his huge sigh of relief. I just hoped he wasn’t going to be mean spirited about my request for references and using the pieces for my portfolio, as they would be really useful additions to be able to show at interviews.

  Abbey had promised to send me a text to confirm there’d been no problems at uni when she’d handed in my final piece, so I reluctantly switched my phone on to check. No signal. Of course. I’d forgotten how poor the reception here always was. I decided I might as well go for a walk, drop in on my cousin Aoife, and beg use of their wifi while I was there.

  Aoife and I had always been close. During the summer holidays when I used to stay over, she was the nearest thing I had to a big sister, especially as we looked very similar. She and her husband Sean lived over the small silversmith workshop they ran in Kinsale. He’s a very talented craftsman who forges amazing jewellery by hand using traditional methods and tools. He based a lot of his pieces on Celtic designs from the Book of Kells, a beautiful illustrated manuscript containing the four Gospels in Latin that was held on display at Trinity College Library in Dublin. I was planning to make a visit it to see it, if I ended up in Dublin.

  It was now May, and spring was in full flow. Everything was green, wherever I looked as I made my way over to see my cousin. Green, the colour of Ireland, and so beautiful, even if the weather was decidedly chilly as the breeze blew in from the sea. They might call Kinsale the Irish Riviera, but the temperature was certainly nothing like the French Riviera.

  “Sera!” Aoife exclaimed, as she appeared from the back of their small shop when the doorbell rang as I walked in. She came running over and enveloped me in a great big hug. I felt tears well up at such a warm and loving reception, which I hastily blinked back as she held me away from her to look more closely.

  “Oh Jaysus, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes. Cuppacha?”

  I quickly tuned myself into her Irish turn of phrase.

  “Yeah, I’d love a cuppa. Thanks, Aoife”

  I smiled to myself at how my cousin’s name, the Irish version of Eva, was pronounced ‘Eefah’ when the spelling was nothing like that at all. So typically Irish. I’ve always loved this quirkiness about their way of doing things.

  “Sean,” Aoife yelled out. “You’ll have to mind the shop, cos me and Sera are going up to the flat.”

  Sean appeared from the workshop at the back. He was of average height, stocky and well built, with a mass of red hair, numerous freckles, and friendly twinkling blue eyes.

  “And how’s me favourite cousin-in-law?” He too gave me a great big bear hug. I’ve always been very fond of Sean as he is one of the nicest, kindest men I’ve ever met, and the nearest thing I have to a big brother.

  “I’m good, thanks,” I smiled at him, then Aoife and I made our way upstairs to their tiny kitchen.

  “While I'm here, can I use your wifi to check my messages and emails?” I asked.

  “Sure, no problem. But first, what’s the sca? Why are you here in this backwood instead of enjoying yourself in London?”

  “London’s not all it’s cracked up to be,” I muttered, as I fumbled around getting my laptop out of my bag to check my emails, while Aoife busied herself making a pot of tea.

  I checked the text messages on my mobile first – I was happy to find one from Abbey confirming there’d been no problems handing everything in at uni for me, so I was pretty relieved about that. My heart missed a beat when I saw there’d also been one from Liam this morning - but it was just a terse enquiry asking me to get in touch - no doubt he’d wanted to know where his design work was. This was born out by the curt email I discovered when I logged into my account on my laptop, also wanting to know where I was. I deleted both the text and the email as soon as I'd read them, anxious to remove all traces of him from my life. Then I turned my full attention to Aoife.

  “Oh? And why might that be? You look like shite, by the way.” My cousin never was one to mince her words.

  “Thanks for that. I’m just a bit tired and run down. That’s why I thought I'd come over for a bit of a holiday, now that I’ve completed all my work for uni.”

  “You’re not caught are you?”

  “What? No! I am most definitely not pregnant! Absolutely not! Not a chance. You are way off the mark,” I told her emphatically.

  “I see. So does that mean you still haven’t shagged yet?”

  “Aoife!”

  “So you haven’t. Okay then, not pregnant. So what happened to your lip? You look like you’ve been in the wars. Come on, spit it out. You know you want to tell me,” she cajoled me. Of course her eyesight was much better than Gran’s.

  “I …err…tripped up,” I mumbled.

  “Oh yeah right. Like I'm going to believe that. So was it a man? You might as well fess up because you know I'm going to get to the bottom of things,” Aoife stated firmly.

  “It’s not how it looks. It’s complicated, and I don’t want to talk about it,” I replied.

  “Tough shit. This is me you’re talking to. You know you can tell me anything. I’m worried about you. Mam’s worried about you. Nana’s worried about you. We’re all worried about you, so for feck’s sake put us all out of our misery and tell us what the hell’s been going on with you.”

  “Oh, I see. Been the subject of all the latest gossip, have I?”

  “Of course you have. What kind of family would we be otherwise? One minute you’re over the moon cos you’ve got this internship with some fancy posh company, the next minute you turn up here looking like crap. It’s obviously some kind of man trouble. Is it this Jamie, the one who got you the room in that house you’ve been living in?” She fixed her stare on me as she poured a mug of strong tea from the brown teapot into a large stripy mug.

  “Kind of,” I sighed, wilting under the relentless questioning from my cousin. I'd never been able to keep secrets from her, because she had this way of wheedling things out of you before you even realised she’d done it.

  “I thought as much. So what did he do? What happened?”

  “It was a terrible misunderstanding. I thought I liked him in…that way, but it turned out I didn't.”

  “He didn't hit you did he? So help me God, I’ll send Sean over there to sort out the fecking bastard if he did.”

  “Things got a bit heated, but he didn't mean to hurt me. It was an accident. It’s no big deal.”

  “Hmm. I don’t like the sound of him. Is that why you ran away, to get away from him?”

  “Partly,” I mumbled.

  “So there’s more?” she probed.

  “Oh Aoife, I’ve made such a fool of myself. Not just with Jamie…” I sighed, as I realised it would be good to talk this through with someone.

  “Go on. Let’s have the whole story.”

  “Jamie has an older brother, Liam. It’s his company I had the internship with, because Jamie put in a good word for me. I ended up working closely with Liam, and…”

  “Did he try it on with you?” Aoife asked. “Is that what this is all about?”

/>   “No! If anything it’s the opposite. Despite the fact that we have absolutely nothing in common, I felt this strong connection with him, and I was really attracted to him physically. I don’t understand why, because I don’t even really like him, he’s cold and controlling and domineering, and isn’t interest in relationships and romance. Cut a long story short – we ended up kissing, I read all sorts of things into it, but I misread the signs. I thought he felt what I felt, but he didn't. It was mortifying.”

  I’ve never spoken about wondering if I was gay to my family, and seeing as I’d now ruled it out, I sure as hell wasn’t going to bring that up now to explain why Liam had kissed me.

  “Bastard, messing about with you like that,” Aoife exclaimed.

  “Trouble is, I can't stop thinking about him, because when he kissed me it just felt …different to anyone else. Typical, I finally find a fella who does something for me, and he’s not interested. So I just wanted to get away for a while to get my head straight, and decide where I go from here.”

  “I’ll tell you what you need to put the smile back on your face,” Aoife said. “A nice Irish fella. Speaking of which, Finny’s band is playing at the pub for my birthday party. And you know he’s always liked you,” she said with a gleam in her eye.

  “Sean’s brother Finbarr? Look, I know he’s a great guy, but I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”

  Right now, the last thing I needed was any other kind of complication or misunderstanding in my love life. Sure, Finny and I had hung out together a few summers ago when we were teenagers. We’d messed around and even shared a few kisses, but it hadn't been anything serious. Finny had always been really into his music, so I’d been flattered when he’d tried to persuade me to join his band as their singer, but I always knew I wanted to go to art college in London. I’m not sure that he’d been serious anyway, as my voice isn’t that great.

  “All I'm saying is come to my party, and see what develops from there. Have some fun, let your hair down, forget about that stupid English gobshite. He doesn’t deserve you and it’s his loss,” she pronounced.

  And so against my better judgement, I somehow found myself going with Finbarr to the local pub a couple of evenings later.

  Chapter 20

  Liam

  Why Abbey was being so helpful in assisting my efforts to find Seraphina I wasn’t quite sure. I was suspicious that she had some sort of hidden agenda.

  “She’s my friend. I care about her, and I just want to see her happy,” she shrugged when I queried her motives. I’d got her to leave her mobile number the first time she’d called in, so I’d contacted her to ask if she would call into my office again, to try and glean some more information from her before I went ahead and tried to track down Seraphina in Ireland. “I saw how you two were together, how she looked at you. Of course you were a complete idiot not to act on it at the time. If someone looked at me like that….”

  “You’re bisexual aren’t you? You say you care about her - so are your feelings for Seraphina more than just friendship?” I asked her outright.

  “I hate convenient labels like ‘bisexual’ and the assumptions people make about you because of them. For me it’s just a way of explaining that I’m adventurous, I like to experiment and try out different things. So I’ve been with women as well as men, but as Sera never gave me even the slightest indication that she was interested in me that way, we’ve never been anything other than ‘just good friends’, as the saying goes. That’s all.”

  “I see. But I still don’t get exactly why you’re prepared to help me get in contact with Seraphina.”

  “Sera’s a really lovely girl, inside and out, and she’s had a pretty hard time of things, although you’d never know it because she just gets on and deals with whatever shit life throws at her. So I’d like to see her happy, and as I’ve always said she has an old head on young shoulders, I’m beginning to think that maybe an older, more mature guy like you might be right for her, rather than immature blokes our own age like Jamie. Maybe what she needs is a proper man, not a pretty boy, and I think perhaps you fit the bill. And don’t forget I saw you together at the club, and there was undeniably incredible sexual chemistry between you.” Abbey grinned as she pretended to fan herself.

  “I see. So you’re sure that Seraphina is still with her grandmother in Ireland, at the address I have on her internship paperwork? If I alter all my travel plans to go and see her, I’d prefer it not to be a wild goose chase.”

  “She mentioned being there for her cousin’s birthday this week in her email, so I don’t think she’s got plans to go anywhere else, for the time being anyway. But if you are going to go after Sera, you have to promise me you aren’t going to mess her around again. I think you really hurt her feelings before.”

  “I honestly thought I was acting in her best interests by holding back. I’m not used to... I’m not the kind of man… I thought she’d be better off without me,” I tried to explain, feeling distinctly uncomfortable. I wasn’t used to discussing my personal feelings with anyone, let alone a virtual stranger. But to my surprise I rather liked Abbey and her forthright manner. At least I knew where I stood with her, and at the moment she was a vital link with Seraphina.

  “So what’s made you change your mind?” Abbey stared at me.

  “The way I felt after I found out what had happened between her and Jamie. The way I felt when I didn't know if she was safe. The way I just can’t stop thinking about her,” I admitted.

  “Hmm, sounds like you’ve got it bad. Good. Look, Sera wouldn’t tell me exactly what happened with Jamie, but I'm guessing she wouldn’t go through with things and he didn't take it too well?”

  “Something like that. He certainly didn't cover himself with glory, put it that way.” I gritted my teeth at the memory.

  “Does he know how you feel about Sera?”

  “No, and I don’t intend to tell him anything yet. Firstly, because Seraphina may well want nothing to do with me. And secondly, because I want him to concentrate on his finals. Once they’re out of the way, and depending on the situation, I’ll take it from there.”

  “Okay. Well, I think you’ve just got to give it your best shot and try to convince Sera of your feelings, which I know you strong silent types always find hard. You’ve got my number and my email address now, so if you think I can help in anyway, just let me know. Going after her like this is so romantic, by the way,” Abbey sighed dramatically, as she clutched her hands to her heart.

  Romantic? That’s was last word I would ever have used to describe myself.

  ~*~

  “Wouldn’t it be easier to do a separate trip to Ireland when you get back from America, rather than trying to combine the two? Doing it this way just doesn't seem to make the best use of your time, Mr. Starr,” Joy queried.

  My ever efficient PA was clearly puzzled as to why on earth I wanted to change all my travel arrangements at the last minute. She’d worked out that stopping overnight in Cork on my way to New York would mean a three hour drive the next day to Dublin airport, as no airline flew direct to New York out of the tiny airport at Cork.

  “No, the business I have to attend to is very urgent and can't be put off that long. So I don’t care how complicated it is, just do as I ask and make all the necessary arrangements,” I snapped at her.

  I’d let her assume I was meeting up with an important business contact in Kinsale, because of course she had no idea it was Seraphina I was desperate to see before I left for my trip to the States. I couldn’t leave things unresolved with her any longer as I already feared I’d missed my chance, but I was determined to try to persuade her to at least talk to me. I even seriously considered postponing my business trip, but it had taken so long to set up, and so much work had gone into all the preparations that I really couldn’t justify it, not as I thought I had found a way to see her before I headed off Stateside.

  I was leaving a day earlier than originally planned in order to be able
to stop off in Ireland on the way. That had panicked Simon because it meant the design work had to be signed off a day earlier. I'd already clashed with him because he’d seen fit to order the removal Seraphina’s angel wing trade mark from the designs without consulting me. I suppose it was out of character for me, but I felt the tiny subtle logo in the bottom corner added another unique feature and I also liked the fact that it was a link with Seraphina. I didn't tell Simon that of course, and he made a huge song and dance over the effort involved when I insisted it had to be reinstated. He was struggling to cope now that Rob had left, Tom was away on paternity leave, and he was having to manage with just the freelancer we’d brought in to complete the designs.

  My plan once I’d found Seraphina was to talk to her, and if she seemed receptive, explain how I thought we could make it work between us. I’d given this matter a lot of thought over the last couple of days, especially in the early hours of the morning when I hadn’t been able to sleep. I was hoping I could convince Sera to move back to London while I was away, so that we could begin working things out between us when I returned. Of course I realised there was a very strong possibility that she wouldn’t even agree to see me, or that she may very well tell me to get lost in no uncertain terms - but I was determined to give it my best shot and use all my persuasive skills to win her over.

  Faint heart never won fair lady.

  ~*~

  I go away on business frequently, usually to the States, and I always travel first class. For me, the cost is money well spent, because the extra space and facilities mean I can use the flight time for either working or sleeping, minimising the time I waste recuperating from jet lag.

  However, none of my favoured airlines flew into Cork, so I had slum it with the hordes in cattle class as the flight which didn't offer first class. But as it was only a short flight of about an hour, I wasn’t too bothered.