Starr Fated

by G E Griffin

  But I knew I’d messed things up really badly because I'd refused to admit having these feelings. I’d snubbed her when she’d looked to me to acknowledge the connection between us, and now I was paying the price. No, worse than that Seraphina had paid the price, because deep down, I knew it was my denial of anything between us that had made her throw herself at Jamie so foolishly. And yes, he’d behaved atrociously, but I had set him such a bad example. Thank God things hadn't turned out even worse than they had.

  How I’d felt when Jamie said Seraphina had run out on him, when I didn't know if she was safe, finally forced me to confront my feelings. I’d felt such immense fear and panic, and I hadn't been able to rest until I'd found her and seen for myself that she was alright. I'd been too scared to acknowledge the bond between us, hiding behind the fact that she was supposed to be my brother’s girl. I'd told myself I was being so noble in standing back, when he hadn't really been that serious about her anyway. It was probably my disapproving attitude towards Seraphina that had made him so determined to prove me wrong and stubbornly continue in his pursuit of her.

  Whichever way I looked at things, I didn't come out of this at all well. I’d let everyone down, but Seraphina most of all.

  I was determined that the moment she turned up at the office on Monday morning, I would seize the opportunity to try to make amends and ask for a chance to start over with her. I wanted to have this sorted between us before I headed out to the States next week for all my meetings - the meetings that had been the reason for the urgency of the company rebranding that had led to Seraphina coming into my life. At least I had no regrets about initiating that project, because that was the trigger that had set events into motion.

  Having thought all this through, I slept a little more soundly on Sunday night, thankful that at least I had a chance to set things right which I was going to grab with both hands.

  ~*~

  I got to the office extra early on Monday morning, and left strict instructions with security that I was to be notified the moment Seraphina Jones arrived in the building, and that she was not to leave until I’d seen her. Then I did my best to get on with some work. There was a lot to get in place before my trip to New York. I’d emailed Simon warning him to expect Seraphina’s work, so he was now on standby to organise finishing off her designs. I knew he was less than thrilled about the fact that I'd opted to use her designs, but he was just going to have to suck it up, seeing as his team hadn’t been able to come up with anything that was even close to the standard of her work.

  I was surprised when it got to ten o'clock and Seraphina still hadn't turned up. I tried ringing her mobile, but it was turned off, which I was not at all happy about. So I sent a text and also emailed her, but still got no response. I could feel the worry starting to permeate through me, because I hated not being able to get in contact with her. Finally I got a call, but it wasn’t the one I'd been hoping for.

  “Miss Jones’ designs have arrived,” Joy, my ever efficient PA informed me.

  “About time. Send Miss Jones straight in.”

  “She’s not here. Apparently her friend has just dropped them into reception.”

  “What? Why? Is she ill or something?”

  “I’ve no idea, Mr. Starr.”

  “Then I want to speak to this friend. I want to know why Miss Jones isn’t here in person.”

  “I think they may have already left, sir. You only left instructions about seeing Miss Jones,” Joy pointed out.

  “Well, get security to go after this other person. I need to speak to them.”

  “I’ll try, but it may already be too late.”

  I paced up and down in my office as I waited, berating myself for not having foreseen this. I'd just assumed Seraphina would turn up today, but maybe she’d been more badly hurt than I'd realised. Why the hell hadn't I insisted on taking her for a check up, or at least tried to see her yesterday as I'd wanted to, instead of ignoring my instincts and convincing myself the sensible thing to do was to give her space to recover from her ordeal? How was she supposed to know I was concerned about her if I didn't communicate it to her in some way?

  I snatched the phone from my desk when it rang.

  “Mr. Starr? They’ve managed to locate the friend, and she’s on her way up now,” Joy informed me.

  Thank God.

  A couple of minutes later, Joy showed the friend in. It was the girl with the bright red hair, Abbey, and she was carrying a large art folder of the type I’d seen in Seraphina’s room.

  “Where’s Seraphina? Has something happened to her?” I couldn’t believe how let down and disappointed I felt that Abbey was here instead of her.

  “Sera’s okay, although I can't deny she was acting rather weirdly when I dropped her at the airport yesterday. But there’s a letter in this folder for you which she said explains everything,” Abbey informed me as she passed the folder over.

  “Airport? Why were you dropping her there?” I asked, with a horrid sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. She’s left. You’ve missed your chance.

  “She’s gone to visit her family. But according to Sera, everything you need for this project she’s been working on is in the folder, all her notes and her memory stick. She said your team shouldn’t have any problems finishing it off in time for this major deadline of yours, if that’s what you’re worried about.” Abbey was staring so hard at me, it almost seemed as if she was trying to read my mind in some way.

  “I thought she didn't have any family? So where exactly has she gone?” I realised how little I knew about her. You never bothered to find anything out, did you?

  “To Ireland. Her Gran lives over there, and she has some other family as well, I believe,” Abbey replied, as her eyes continued to bore into me.

  “Ireland? This is all a bit sudden, isn’t it? And what about her university work? Surely she wouldn’t just take off and not complete her degree when she’s worked so hard for it?” It didn't make sense when I knew how important it was to her to get a decent degree. That much I did know about her.

  “I just handed her final course piece in this morning for her, before I came here. She’s been working really hard on it and managed to get it finished ahead of schedule,” Abbey explained.

  “Where in Ireland? How long is she planning to stay away for?” I tried to figure out what to do next. I'd pinned all my hopes on being able to talk to Seraphina today.

  “I’m not sure exactly where in Ireland. I think she flew out to Cork, but that’s about all I can tell you, because I don’t really know much about her family. Sera’s not one to talk much about anything personal. And I’m not sure when she’s coming back – or even if she is coming back, actually,” Abbey calmly stated.

  “What do you mean? You don’t think she’s coming back?” I was horrified by this possibility.

  “Sera’s talking about relocating to Dublin or Cork, if she can find a suitable job. I think she’s given up hope of getting a place on the exchange program, and I think she’d like to be nearer to her family instead of always struggling on her own. I guess she’s thinking that once she’s finished her studies, there’s nothing to keep her here in London.” Abbey stared at me as she continued. “I also think something happened this weekend that was a large factor in her sudden decision to leave, but she wouldn’t tell me what it was, apart from when I asked how her date with Jamie went, she said it was a total disaster. Don’t suppose you’d happen to know anything about that would you?”

  I exhaled loudly as I scrubbed my face with my hands. I looked at Abbey defiantly standing there, hands on hips as she watched for my reaction, shrewdly taking in the tension that was undeniably radiating from me. She was a similar height and build to Seraphina, but that was where any similarity ended. Her hair was a very artificial bright red colour, and she had assorted facial piercings, including a lip ring and a nose stud. She had some kind of a tattoo on her chest peaking out from the edge of her top. She wore heavy black eyeliner,
and some kind of dark lipstick, that almost matched her black nail varnish. And her clothes were a hideous mismatch of a red patterned skirt, a green patterned top and a black jacket. Normally I wouldn’t have given a girl like her the time of day. But she was my only connection left with Seraphina, and I’d gathered from the number of phone calls and texts she’d exchanged with this friend while we’d been working together that they were pretty close.

  So, should I take this kooky female into my confidence, or continue to deny there was anything between Seraphina and me, and close the door on any hope of re-establishing some kind of contact? Abbey had witnessed the incident between us at the club the other evening, and it was obvious she was nobody’s fool. Maybe she could help me. I decided that right now, Abbey was my best option. In any case, what did I have to lose by taking her into my confidence?

  “Things went badly wrong between Seraphina and my brother on Saturday night, because he behaved atrociously towards her when she wanted to back out of spending the night with him. Luckily nothing too serious happened, thank God. I stepped in to try and sort things out and look after Sera but it looks as if I failed miserably. It seems I’ve only made things worse if she’s felt the need to run away, haven’t I?”

  “I saw how close you two were when you were together at the club the other night. I'm telling you I’ve never seen Sera act the way she did with you before, even when she’s been really drunk. After all the doubts she’s had, letting go with you would have been a really big deal for her. For you to casually sneer at her the way you did and deny you felt anything convinced her you weren’t interested. So what’s with all the concern now about where she is and when she’s coming back? Do you have feelings for her? Do you care about her? I mean really care about her?” Abbey demanded.

  “Truthfully, I don’t really understand what these feelings I have for Seraphina are, I just know I can't ignore them anymore. I genuinely thought I was doing the right thing by shutting myself off from her the other evening, that it was in her best interests. With hindsight, I can see that perhaps it would’ve been better to have been more honest and maybe prevented the whole fiasco with Jamie. So I'd planned to talk to her today to try and figure things out between us, but perhaps it’s already too late and I’ve missed my chance,” I reluctantly opened up to Abbey. I ran my hands through my hair in frustration at finding myself in this position.

  “Maybe you should read what’s in the letter she’s written. That might offer a few clues about whether or not there’s a way forward in this whole mess you’ve managed to create,” Abbey suggested. She unzipped the large folder, reaching inside to produce a white envelope that she handed over to me. It was addressed to Mr. L.J. Starr, in Sera’s distinctive handwriting.

  Dear Mr. Starr,

  As promised, I am forwarding to you all my design work, complete with full handover notes and an updated memory stick for your rebranding exercise. All the design work is now at a stage where your Creative Team should have no problems in finalising the project to your satisfaction in time for your meetings in New York at the end of the week.

  As things stand following recent events, I think it best I have no further contact with either you or Jamie. I never meant to cause trouble or come between you and your brother, as I know you are all the family Jamie has and he thinks the world of you. So please talk to him and make things right again. Please don’t be too hard on him, because what happened wasn’t really his fault, and I can't bear to think that I could be the cause of any kind of a rift between you.

  Thank you for the wonderful opportunity my internship with your company has afforded me. Could I just ask one more favour from you? I will be applying for various jobs in the near future, so may I please have your permission to show examples of the work I produced for Starr Capital Ventures in my portfolio, and quote your company for reference purposes? I will of course respect your decision should you decline this request.

  Yours sincerely,

  Seraphina R Jones.

  “Well? What does she have to say?” Abbey prompted me, as I read it through for the third time.

  “Nothing very useful for tracking her down. It’s mostly a plea for me to exercise some brotherly love,” I muttered, not sure that Jamie was in anyway so deserving of her forgiveness.

  “So, are you just going to give up and let her go?”

  “What can I do? I haven’t got a clue where she’s gone other than you think she flew into Cork. If she doesn't want to be found, maybe I should just leave her alone.”

  “Liam Starr, I never had you down as a quitter, so surely you want to go after her? Maybe I can find something out about where she’s gone from her next of kin information they must hold at the university admin office, although they probably won’t tell me anything as it probably breaks some stupid confidentiality rules. But, hang on a minute - she must have filled in some paperwork when she applied to work here, mustn’t she?”

  “Abbey, you are a bloody genius.” I picked up the phone to buzz through to my PA. “Joy, get me the personnel file from HR for Seraphina Jones – now.”

  Chapter 19

  Seraphina

  “Seraphina Róisín, are you going to tell me just what’s got you running over here all of a sudden?” Nana was looking at me intently with those green eyes of hers that were the exact same shade as mine while I was sitting at her kitchen table quietly sipping a steaming hot mug of tea. Over here, everyone called her Nana rather than Gran, and I always slipped back into calling her that. I’d been given Róisín as my middle name after her. I told most people in England it was Rose because they struggled with the Irish spelling, but I loved the way Nana pronounced ‘Rosheen’ with her Irish accent.

  “What do you mean, Nana? I'm not running away from anything. I just thought you’d be pleased to see me, after all the times you’ve asked me to visit but I've been too busy studying,” I protested, but I avoided her eye all the same. Nana had a sixth sense about these things – well, about a lot of things really. She still believed in a lot of the ‘ancient ways’ and some people even whispered that she was some kind of a witch, but I didn’t believe in all those old superstitions.

  “Is it a man?” she continued, as she sat opposite me and pushed a plate with a thick slab of buttered tea bread over to me. “You’re looking awful thin and pale – is it maybe because you’re lovesick, me darlin?”

  I smiled ruefully to myself, because I’d known it would only be a matter of time before she’d start with her inquisition. I was glad the small cut on my lip was already healing up and hardly noticeable, otherwise that would’ve led to yet more awkward questions, and I was wearing long sleeves so she couldn’t see the bruises Jamie had left on my arms.

  When I’d arrived at Nana’s whitewashed cottage yesterday evening having taken the bus from Cork airport, I’d managed to avoid too many questions by claiming tiredness. I’d made my escape to soak in the big old bathtub, then retreated to the little bedroom that had always been mine when I’d stayed each summer during the holidays when I was little. As I lay in the single bed with the same rose printed quilt and looked at the faded flower print wallpaper, I finally felt some peace descend over me. I’d escaped. Staying with my dear old Nana, I was hoping to lie low while I quietly licked my wounds and figured out where I went from here.

  Of course it didn't stop me having vivid dreams again that night. Erotic dreams of him. But worse, nightmares about fighting off the other him. I’d thought it had been serendipitous good fortune when I’d left my handbag on the train which had led to me meeting the Starr brothers. Now I wished I'd just lost my bag – it would have been far less traumatic in the long run.

  But even as I fended off Nana’s questions, I knew my cousin Aoife and Aunty Caitlin were going to be equally as curious as to why I’d turned up after a couple of hasty phone calls yesterday. My lovely but nosy Irish relatives were never backward at coming forward in their concerned curiosity.

  I certainly wasn’t going to tell th
em the truth – that I’d had no option but to get away from both the Starr brothers. The plane ticket had been expensive as I’d bought it at the last minute, but I’d decided that it was reasonable use of the unexpected wages I’d earned from the work I’d done for him. Liam. I didn't even want to say his name in my mind, but that was impossible of course. In time, hopefully I’d get him out of my head. The first step had been to put as much distance between us as I could, so that at least had been accomplished.

  “Nana, I told you. Because I worked extra hard, I managed to finish my final course work a little earlier than expected, so I decided I’d earned a break, especially as it’s Aoife’s birthday this week. And you know how much I always love it here in Ireland. In fact, I’ve been thinking about moving over here, if I can get a job.”

  “Really? And just what kind of a job do you think you’d find here in Kinsale that would be worthy of all those fancy qualifications you’ve worked so hard to get?” she asked sceptically, as her eyebrows shot up in surprise while she let this piece of information sink in.

  “I know there wouldn’t be anything here in the village, but I was thinking there might be something suitable in Cork or maybe Dublin – that’s one of the things I want to look into now I'm here,” I explained.

  Kinsale is a pretty fishing village some seventeen miles south of Cork, the majority of whose inhabitants rely heavily on the tourist trade and the sailing community for their living. Much as I loved it here, I had to agree that the chances of an opening for someone with a hard earned graphics degree were zilch.