Notorious

by Leanne Davis

  She was right, he didn’t. But he supposed he owed it to Kelly, now that she’d had such a change of heart.

  “Sure.”

  “Good. Just be nice to her.”

  “Okay.” He stifled a smile. Sarah nodded, and then left, only to be replaced by Cassie. She smiled warmly and asked to speak with him alone. He sighed. Did they plan this ambush? Tag team him with their warnings?

  “Have you even talked to Kelly yet?”

  “No. And I’m not planning, too. I’m not real thrilled about this.”

  “Why? She’s a grown woman.”

  “Yeah, well in some ways, she’s not.”

  “It’s more than you think.”

  Cassie narrowed her eyes. “More? As in she’s…what to you?”

  “As in we’re fine if everyone would stay out of it.”

  “Huh. I don’t know what to say. She made a friend and took up with you. It’s unprecedented for Kelly.”

  “Be glad for her, and respect her judgment. Let her be normal for once.”

  “I guess. It’s awkward.”

  “Welcome to my week. We’re friends, aren’t we? Aside from John even?”

  “Yes, we are.”

  “Then trust that I wouldn’t use your sister. She’s been good for me. I can’t explain it.”

  “I can. She’s kind and sweet and has the biggest heart of anyone I know, but hides it better than anyone, too. I’m glad she’s helped you, but I know for a fact you’re not looking for a relationship or even capable of one. And Kelly, I’m sure she thinks she’ll be okay with that. But she’s not, and she won’t be.”

  “We were pretty clear with each other.”

  “I hope you’re right.”

  Luke was feeling disgruntled. First his mother, then Sarah, now Cassie. All that would finish this off would be John. But John said nothing, thank God, just looked at him funny.

  Kelly, however, was nowhere to be found when the night ended. Did she do that on purpose? And maybe he was a little relieved. It was time for him to go home. To be alone. Normally, after a family get-together, he was nearly itching for it. Leave. Get back to being alone, so he didn’t have to pretend to be so fine. So he could quit smiling at everyone. Quit pretending being with them all was so easy, when in fact, it was the opposite, it was so hard. So hard to be single again in their company. So hard to be okay, and pretend talking about his students, John’s work, his mother’s current recipe mattered to him. When none of it mattered to him. Not even a little.

  He taught school, because he was supposed to, not because he cared. He pretended to care, and most days, did a good job of pretending. He hoped someday he’d quit pretending and that going through his life would matter again. But it hadn’t happened yet.

  Until now. Until Kelly. Kelly, who had the nerve to interrupt him while he prayed at his wife’s grave. Kelly, whose naked pictures were posted over the internet. Pictures his dad hung in his workshop. Kelly, who wanted him to stay with her even after he tried to ditch her over a stupid song. Kelly, who made him finally want to have sex again. And contrary to everything else in his life, that wasn’t just going through the motions. That really felt good. That really mattered.

  But Kelly Reeves? How had she been the woman who suddenly made an impression on his dull, numb life? How had he gone from Shelly to Kelly? He’d hated everything about Kelly’s lifestyle, and in some ways, still did. But suddenly, she seemed so right. What was he supposed to do with her? About her? For her? And why did going home to be alone seem worse somehow today than it did a week ago?

  Chapter Eighteen

  Luke sat out in his truck in front of his former house, now his brother’s house, and stewed. This was strange as hell. What was he supposed to do in this situation? Kelly was in that house, and he wanted to see her. He called before he left for classes, but she was gone and hadn’t called him back. He didn’t know how long Kelly was planning to stay in town. He hadn’t asked her, because he hadn’t been ready to have a conversation about her leaving. She’d inevitably ask, what they were going to be when Kelly did finally return to town, because she would be coming back. Luke had no idea what they’d do then. But he wanted to see her now.

  For years now, he didn’t think much beyond whatever day he was in. He quit thinking about his future, worrying or caring or even hoping, after Shelly died, because it seemed futile. His new motto was “Get through the day.” And for some reason, it seemed important that he see Kelly today. The urgency to see her surprised him.

  But Kelly, while in town, lived with his brother, and Cassie wasn’t thrilled he was more than friendly with her sister. So here he sat, wondering what he should do. He was close to driving off and escaping all of it.

  But damn it! He wanted to see Kelly.

  He knocked on the front door. His first instinct was to walk in. It had been his house for five years, after all. But now it was officially John and Cassie Tyler’s, married couple. And he no longer lived here. From now on, he was strictly a visitor.

  Cassie answered. She took a step back. “This is an odd feeling.”

  “Yeah, which part? Me coming to see your sister? Or knocking on the front door?”

  “Both. But I don’t like you knocking on the front door. It feels wrong, I think I’m going to miss you living here.”

  “No, you’re not, newlywed. Am I interrupting the honeymoon?”

  Cassie grinned. “Who has a honeymoon with a seven-year-old around? And don’t ever knock on my door again, I can’t stand it. Come in whenever you want, anytime. Don’t you dare start being polite to me.”

  Luke grinned, liking Cassie as the sister he’d never had. “Does that mean I get to come in?”

  “Oh. Of course. Come on.”

  He followed Cassie through the hall into the kitchen and found Kelly sitting at the kitchen table, a book before her. The sliding door to the deck was open, and Cassie passed them and went out to join John.

  Kelly looked up at him as he stood awkwardly in the kitchen.

  “Say something so I don’t feel like a complete idiot.”

  “Why would you feel like an idiot? I’m the one who made a fool of myself yesterday,” Kelly countered.

  “Is that what you think? Is that why you didn’t take my calls? And completely avoided me last night?”

  “Last night was because it couldn’t have been more awkward with everyone watching us and knowing about us. And yes, I completely overstepped my bounds yesterday. We agreed this wasn’t going to be complicated, and then I stopped at the cemetery. I wasn’t following you by the way. Tim pointed you out on the way to the bakery. He told me what you do every Sunday.”

  Luke shrugged. “Now you know my big secret. I go to church. You’re beating yourself up over something I told you didn’t matter. It’s fine.”

  He yanked out a chair across from her and read the title of her book. He lifted his brows in surprise.

  “Are you reading about plants?”

  She glanced down to read her own title. “What? Oh, yes. It’s a book about organic farming.”

  “Why would you be reading about that?”

  She shrugged. “Why not? It looked interesting.”

  “That looked interesting? Why?”

  “The environment, chemicals we eat, why wouldn’t that be interesting? Don’t you wonder about what food is made of?”

  “Not enough to study organic farming. You do a lot of that?”

  “What?”

  “Read about off-the-wall subjects?”

  “I wouldn’t call them off the wall, but yes, I like to read. Always have.”

  “Do you read the sex novels Cassie does?”

  “You know about those? She’ll probably ban you from the house if you mention that you know. No, I only read nonfiction. Biographies mostly.”

  “Biographies?” She completely missed his amazed tone.

  “Yes. I like to read about people’s lives. It’s so interesting, don’t you think?”

  He
pressed his lips together to hold back a grin. She really had no idea. What a contradiction she was. Or how damned adorable she was the more he found out about her. Who the hell read about organic farming, except, well, organic farmers? Or environmentalists? Who considered that an escape besides Kelly? Kelly, the woman with a flower tied into her long ponytail and red high heels, wearing jeans that went on forever and cost a fortune, while she was reading about organic farming. She probably was getting ready to clip the coupons from the local grocery ads. Kelly Reeves and all her contradictions.

  “You’re a teacher, you must love reading.”

  “No. I’m a math teacher. Big difference.”

  “Didn’t you have to do a lot of reading in college?”

  “Sure, unwillingly. But for enjoyment, please—I’d rather floss my teeth.”

  “What made you become a teacher then?”

  “I got a job out of college at a big company, made some money, hated the work, the long hours, the fact that I got no satisfaction out of the day I spent. So I went back and got my master’s in teaching. I’d gotten a bachelors in math, for no particular reason, other than I liked it and was good at it. So here I am. I don’t spend all day in a suit, locked up in a building. I do like kids. I like explaining things to them, and I like coaching.”

  “You have a master’s? I didn’t know that. Your parents must be very proud of you and John.”

  “Sure. But not because we spent a bunch of time in school. Besides, John’s the success, I’m just a teacher.”

  “Just a teacher? That’s one of the noblest professions out there.”

  Luke crossed his arms over his chest, bored by the subject. “Never thought of it like that. I don’t make much money though. Imagine living on what you make in a week.”

  “Imagine liking what you do for living,” she countered her tone quiet. “Imagine going to college.”

  “If you want to, why don’t you?”

  “Me?” She pointed a finger at her chest. “No. I could never.”

  “Why not? Someone who chooses to read about organic farming would probably love college. You could take about every subject under the sun and probably find them interesting.”

  “I’m not smart enough.”

  He blinked. She said it with complete confidence that it was true.

  “You really think that?”

  “Sure. Don’t look so offended. I’m not one of your students who needs motivation. I’m a twenty-nine-year old model. You’re not dating America’s next top scholar.”

  The word dating paused both of them. They stared at each other. She looked away, flushing. “Not dating, just you know, hanging out with.”

  “You’re smart enough.”

  “I can’t.”

  “You can. I told you before you sell yourself so short, you don’t seem to realize what you have accomplished.”

  “I pose for pictures. Not exactly rocket science.”

  “You built an empire out of nothing. How many pretty girls try to be models? And look who made it.”

  “You don’t have to build up my ego. I’ll sleep with you anyways.”

  “I’m not. Well, I probably am trying to sleep with you, but I’m not building up anything.”

  “I’m too old.”

  “To what? You’re only too old when you die. Five years will pass, whether you go to college or not. So, if you want to, why not?”

  She stared at him, completely perplexed. “I never considered it seriously.”

  “Well, you’re not dead, so think about it if you want to.”

  “You do have a way with words.”

  “Don’t I?” He grinned. Why was it so easy to smile around Kelly?

  “No. But I like how you talk to me. You always sound so gruff, but you’re usually giving me the nicest compliments.”

  He shrugged. “If it works for you, who am I to change?”

  She was quiet for a moment, and then in a hushed tone asked, “Did Cassie say anything to you?”

  He smelled a trap. He wasn’t about to get caught between two women, no matter how much those women loved each other.

  “Sure, she talks to me about lots of subjects.”

  “About us,” Kelly’s tone was frustrated. “She hasn’t said a word to me, and I can’t figure out why.”

  “Maybe she trusts you.”

  “Do you really think so?”

  “Yes. It’s me she doesn’t trust.”

  “So she did say something,” Kelly said, inordinately proud she was right.

  “I got a mouthful from both Sarah and Cassie.”

  “You did? About me?”

  “Don’t sound so damn chipper about it. And yes, of course, about you.”

  “Well, that’s kind of nice, isn’t it?”

  “If you say so. Don’t you want to know what they said?”

  “No. It’s just nice that they care.”

  “Threatening me means they care?”

  Kelly rolled her eyes. “Of course, it does.”

  “Sure. Of course, it does,” he mimicked once again, mystified by the women in his life. And mystified why he could sit here all day and talk to Kelly just to find out what other strange things she likes to do, or neurotic facts about her. Or what misguided notions she had about herself that he could correct for her. She was fascinating and interesting, without even knowing why, which made her that much more endearing. Someone had forgotten to tell the little girl Kelly how special she was, and no one seemed able to convince her of it now. No matter how much money and fame she had, she was as blind to herself, as she was aware of her looks.

  He leaned back as John and Cassie came in and they all ended up talking. It was a compatible foursome. It should be strained or weird, but it was nice. Nicer than being in a group had felt in a long time. And he liked watching Kelly. She smiled, laughed, and made faces with a gusto. How had he missed what was so blatantly obvious about her? How had it taken him so long to appreciate who she really was?

  The phone rang. Cassie left the room. When she came back, her face was colorless, her mouth was tight and her eyes moist in tears. Luke’s stomach twisted. That look reminded him of the look people got when they talked about Shelly. There was something about shock and tragedy that showed on a person’s face no matter how calm and collected he or she tried to appear. Something had happened.

  Kelly was talking and didn’t notice the sudden chill that filled the kitchen. John did though. He straightened and went closer to his wife, touching her hand in a silent question. Cassie shook her head and nodded toward Kelly in tacit communication. Telling John whatever she had to say was going to affect Kelly.

  Luke was silent, his gut churning. What could it possibly be?

  Kelly finally glanced up.

  “What? What is it?”

  “I…” Cassie twisted her fingers together.

  “What? Just say it. Is Tim okay?”

  “He’s fine. It’s Mom.”

  “Mom? What about her? She calling for money from you? Now that you’re married and have some?”

  “No. Nothing like that. She…”

  “She what? Come on. Nothing she could do would really shock me.”

  “She died.”

  Kelly’s face froze. “She what?”

  “That was the police calling. Heather was found dead this afternoon in her trailer by a neighbor.”

  Kelly shook her head. “But she’s only fifty-three. How could she be dead?”

  “Drug overdose. There will be an autopsy to make sure. But right now, it’s a suspected accidental overdose.”

  Kelly stared at her sister with her mouth open for a long pregnant pause, and then she simply got up and left without saying a word.

  Cassie turned into John’s embrace. “Oh God, this is going to hurt her so much.”

  “And you?” John asked gently.

  “I’m all right. I mean, I’m not glad Heather’s dead or anything, but she wasn’t much to me. You know that. She and I were like
oil and water—we never mixed from the time I could talk. But Kelly, it was way different for Kelly. Heather loved Kelly in her own warped way. She treated Kelly like a doll. And Kelly loved Mom, even though Heather did nothing to deserve it. Kelly still tried with Heather. She gave her money, hell, even bought her a house, which Heather promptly sold to use the money for God knows what, so she ended up right back in a trailer court. But still, Kelly loved her. I have to go find her.”

  Luke got up and put a restraining hand on Cassie’s shoulder. “Let me.”

  Cassie was visibly startled. She wasn’t used to anyone else caring about Kelly. There had never been anyone but her. But to Cassie’s credit, she backed off and nodded for him to go.

  Kelly was down on the beach. She was sitting along the edge of the sand dunes, her legs drawn up to her chest, her arms wrapped around them making a tight, defensive ball. Her long mane of auburn hair trailed down her back, wisps falling over her face.

  Luke squatted down next to her, waiting for her to look at him. She didn’t. He tugged on her gently to come into his arms, but she refused.

  “What do you want?” she snapped.

  “To sit here awhile.”

  “What for?”

  “So you feel less alone. Maybe like you haven’t fallen off the side of the earth. You don’t have to talk to me.”

  “Don’t use my own words against me,” she finally said, her voice muffled by her legs.

  He smiled to himself, then put a hand on her shoulder.

  “No. We aren’t doing this.” She pulled her shoulder from his hand.

  “Doing what?”

  “You’re not going to comfort me, because I know you know exactly how I feel. And what you suffered was far worse than this. You lost a wife and child. I lost a drug-addicted, whoring mother, who never even really loved me. So we’re not going to pretend it’s the same thing, because I’ll lose.”

  “It’s not a contest. I can’t one up you, or vice versa. It’s grief and yours is a lot fresher than mine.”

  “Quit being so decent.”

  “Why? Because you’ve had so many people be that to you in your life? Your sister was so shocked I wanted to come out here, I think she almost fainted. But I do care. And you don’t have to do anything. I’ll be right here, either way.”