Off Screen

by Josephine Traynor

  “Ohhhmmm-why-don’t-I-just-say-yes-noooooowwwww?”

  “This stuff works,” he says with a wide grin. He leans forward with his lips in an exaggerated pucker. One eye opens to see why I haven’t kissed him. “Don’t leave me hanging.”

  Tipping slowly, I inch towards his lips as he eyeballs me. “Stop it. It’s creepy,” I laugh. I give him a quick peck and unfold my legs to stand. “You know tomorrow we are going to have to do what you do in the morning.”

  “That might be awkward, although watching you having a wank thinking about you might be a huge turn-on.”

  I give him a friendly poke in the ribs. “Can I ask how you’re doing, with the news of last night? Do you need to check in with Amy?”

  “I’m grateful for the distraction and I’ll give her a chance to wake up. Not everyone gets up before the sparrows.”

  “It’s how I get things done.”

  “Speaking of how to get things done. I need to speak to Clara. She told me if anything was to happen, to keep it PG, and I think we’ve done that.”

  I remember her advice to me, too, and the thought of having someone dictate how our relationship should be feels off to me. “I appreciate her advice, but we are adults. Surely we have survived in life this far that we are capable of making our own decisions.”

  “I just don’t want to fuck it up.”

  Not wanting to argue and not wanting to pry, I tell him I’m going for a shower so he can make his call.

  Freshly showered, I step out of my bedroom in need of coffee. Harrison is still talking to Clara via video on the tablet.

  “I agree, you are both adults. You’ve both mentioned that you’ve waited such a long time to be friends. So take the time now to romance each other. You can never have too much romance. Go on a couple of dates.”

  As much as it annoys me, again, she’s right. I’d been wondering in the shower how this is going to work. Will we like the same things? What’s a deal-breaker for him? We have so much to learn about each other that jumping into a sexual relationship will hinder being able to have any kind of relationship outside of that. It irks me that we had to have this much intervention, and I feel like I’m being chaperoned. In turn, I’m thankful that this advice and guidance is giving us a chance at something we both clearly want.

  “I like that idea. A date sounds great. Riley, can I take you on a date?”

  “Sure,” I call out and give Clara a little wave as he joins me in the kitchen.

  “Morning, Riley. Harrison, do you mind if I talk to Riley in private for a moment?”

  Harrison and I swap what’s in our hands. The tablet to me and the coffee to him. He takes a step back and then quickly leans forward to give me a kiss in full display of Clara. My heart melts a little as he takes the lead in the public display.

  “I’ll go for a little walk,” he murmurs. “Bye, Clara.”

  She says her goodbyes and waits for me to signal that he’s gone. “So, Harrison said you slept together.”

  “Not like that,” I rush out, confronted by her boldness and his honesty.

  Raising her hands, she assures me there’s nothing wrong with what we did. “I have no problem with you sleeping in the same bed. I have no problems with anything you do. It’s my job to highlight to you what can be a problem for the longevity of your relationship. This is everything I’ve said to Harrison, so it’s not like I’m saying it to only one of you. If you want a quick thing, that’s all you’re going to have. If you put the time in, work through the hurdles, you’ll have something longer. Him asking you out on a date shows you his hand.” What happens on this date might be a bigger indicator. “So how are you feeling about things?”

  I glance up to see him standing on the edge of the bottom step. The door’s closed, and I lower my voice. “He’s being honest. I’m being honest. We are communicating. I’m meeting the guy I’ve been wanting to meet. Everything feels right.” And it does. His lips on mine feel right. The touch of his skin. The kindness in his words. He’s managing to rip down the walls I’d built up around myself.

  “What’s got you thinking?” she asks.

  Closing my eyes, I don’t want to jinx it before it’s even started. “What if he doesn’t like me? Trivial and juvenile, but what if I fall for him and it’s not returned?”

  “You already have fallen for him and it wasn’t returned, so you already know what that’s like.”

  Good point.

  “You are a lively, talented, intelligent go-getter. Why is this any different?” she asks.

  “He has the power to cripple me.”

  “Don’t give him that power. No one ever dies of a broken heart. Hurts like hell, but he’s not acting like a guy who’s not interested. He asked you for the date, remember?”

  For once, I’m going to pursue Harrison in a positive way. In these few days, I feel like a different woman. I’m confident that we can have a future together and I need to do my share.

  “Cut,” Allan calls, and we both take just a second too long to pull away from each other, and with the look he gives me, he’s noticed it straight away. “We might do that one again.”

  “Okay,” I say, and Harrison’s fingers slide off my hip.

  We run the lines again, and Allan approaches me after Harrison gets off the bed and makes himself a coffee.

  “Whatever is going on with you two, therapy, keep doing it. We are heaps ahead of schedule. We’d planned to take five days to shoot these scenes, but I think we’ll be done early tomorrow at this rate. Great. That’s really great that you’re happy.” Allan eyeballs me before glancing to Harrison who has his back to us as he sips from his cup.

  “He thought he’d get up at the same time as me,” I say.

  “He’s not used to being a homebody, I guess. All those women who keep him up at night. For the first six weeks of this job, I thought we were going to have to fire him for being tired and late. Maybe he’s ripping through the lines so he can get back to his bachelor life? He’s not seeing anyone? He looks like a man … a man who’s content.”

  I sit stunned at why Allan is asking me. His words shouldn’t have affected me. Harrison does look content. I feel content. How can it be that in the space of a week, we have gone from enemies to friends?

  A few hours later, Harrison and I are relieved of the set, and we meet Jack again. Instead of horses, he has two dirt bikes on the back of the trailer.

  Zipping the jacket, I adjust the helmet strap under my chin. Harrison is already on the bike and cranking it over.

  “Calm down. You’re going to hurt something or someone,” I say.

  “You got to feel free on your horse, this is my domain.”

  He sets off before I even have a chance to get on my bike. Just like I did with Snowy, he waits for me at top of the dune. I ride up and over and head for the end. The joys of having a beach all to ourselves. Harrison gives chase, and we fight for first place. He draws ahead, and as we reach the rocks, he slows and waits for me to join him. He points to the narrow path into the trees, and I ride with a bit of distance between us. Who am I kidding? I’m checking out his arse as it bounces up and down with the terrain.

  The ground quickly becomes harder to navigate over, the farther we go in. Slowing to avoid the mud being flung by his tyre, he veers to the right where I can see a small clearing. Getting off the bike, he’s found a little piece of paradise within paradise. The clearing makes way for a small stream and full privacy. We are completely alone. Nothing but trees and the soft sound of water from the stream while the waves crash in the distance.

  Pulling the helmet off my head, I join Harrison’s side. “How did you even know this place was here?”

  “Tess told me about it during my surfing lesson. Who better to check it out with?” He holds his outstretched hand to me. “This isn’t our date, by the way.”

  “No?”

  His warm hand in mine sends chills through me. Our kisses are one thing, but the simple act of him holding my hand
is super intimate to me. Crossing the stream with a small leap, we come to sit on the rock lining the other side.

  “It’s easy to get caught up in your own world. You forget there’s a whole world out there waiting to be discovered.”

  I nod at his words; they strike a chord within. My grandmother would stand us on the beach, overlooking the ocean. “Make sure your goals are endless. Work to complete one but make sure you have another one ready to work on. Anything is possible when you aim high, just don’t forget to enjoy the journey, that’s where the real joy is.”

  He takes his place next to me, and I’m suddenly feeling nervous. Not nervous that he’ll kiss me, nervous that he’ll want something that I’m not ready to give him, and I wonder if I’ll ever be able to let my guard down completely.

  “So, you do handle a bike as good as a horse?” he says with a laugh. “Is there anything you’re bad at?”

  Breaking into a smile, I tell him I’m crap at a lot of things. “I can’t sew. I can’t speak any other languages. I’m not a good drinker.”

  “Good to know.” His throaty laugh echoes in the trees surrounding us. “So, I was thinking, can I take you out tonight?”

  “Hmm. Not sure. I’ll have to check my diary. I have a very busy schedule.”

  “Oh, right. Your people will contact my people?”

  Leaning forward, I give him a kiss and melt into his touch when he tugs me closer.

  Pulling back, Harrison looks me straight in the eye. “Being here, with you, has been the best time of my life so far. I’m worried it’s all going to be a dream when we get back home.”

  I tell him it’s not a dream. “Funny that we have the same fears.”

  “I want to know your fears so I can put them to rest. I want to know what makes you scared so I can reassure you. I want to be the positive to your negative. Any doubts in that head of yours, I want to tell you truths to their lies.”

  How do I tell him that I want the same things? To live the life I’ve dreamed of with him?

  “I just need you to be patient with me. This is all great, it’s just moving very fast for me and—”

  Harrison shifts to stand before me. “I’m going to tell you something. I haven’t been with a woman—now, it’s a sad fact—for over a year now. Gotta be fifteen months.”

  Doing the math quickly in my head, I work out he’s five months shy of my ongoing record, thanks to nothing happening with Kit. “Why are you telling—”

  “Because I haven’t been able to get you out of my head since I met you. I know I’m going to sound like a douche but I’ve tried to get over you. Tried to get you out of my system. Purge my silly infatuation with you out of my head.”

  My stomach drops thinking of all the times I’ve done the same. Vowed to stop my feelings for him. To get over it and move on only to end up at the same point every time.

  “I’d always hoped, that deep down, somewhere behind that cold, harsh wall you put up, that there might be real feelings for me. Nice feelings, not the ‘want to gouge my eyes out’ feelings.”

  He’s inching towards my face. I can’t move back any farther and I don’t want to. Cocking his head to the side, he rests his hands either side of my hips while he continues to speak.

  “Tell me you want something more with me.”

  It might have been my ears playing tricks on me, but I think I detected a hint of desperation. My suspicious mind instantly rises. I lower my gaze to his lips and give a little nod before pressing my own to his. They’ve barely touched when he pulls back.

  “I want to hear you say it.” He inches back as I inch forward. “Why won’t you say it?”

  “Because I’m scared.” The wind steals my words, but I know he heard them because his eyebrows furrow. “I’m scared.”

  “I’m not going to hurt you, I promise.”

  His fingers catch the flyaway hairs as he leans forward to kiss me deeply, and I tell that little voice screaming at me to beware to shut up. Our kiss quickly progresses from PG to R-rated when I run my hand along the seam of his inner thigh and stop to cup him. My touch makes him moan, and I take that as permission to keep going. His cock hardens under my touch, and any sense of reason about waiting is quickly fleeing my mind. The hours I’ve spent dreaming and yearning for this man; common sense has gone out the window.

  “We need to stop,” Harrison moans and wriggles out of my grasp. “I want to do this right by you.”

  I reach for him, but he blocks my hand and wraps his fingers around mine while letting out a long sigh.

  “Believe me, it’s harder—”

  “That’s what he said.”

  “Juvenile. It’s really difficult to say no to you. I promised myself when we first found out we were coming here for the week that I was going to be a gentleman and a gentlemen I will be.” Pressing his lips to the top of my head, he murmurs, “When we are sure about what we want …”

  “Finish your sentence.”

  “You’ll never want to be with another man again.”

  A shiver runs down my spine as his hand squeezes mine a little tighter. Damn him and his conscience. If he’s not going to take me up on the offer, I’m going to make him squirm. “There’s nothing you need to talk to me about? Worried about me seeing you?”

  Letting out a chuckle, he shakes his head.

  “Tell me the truth.”

  With his hands on my shoulders, I can sense his hesitancy.

  “Because I want to make it perfect. A quickie in the bush—” He holds his hand up to stop me from saying ‘That’s what he said’ again. “I want to woo you. Get a chance to use my charm. Take you on a date, spend time with you. Spend time doing things with you and to you. A hurried roll on the moss is not my idea of passion.” Smiling at his sentiments, he continues. “I’ve had too many years of foreplay.”

  “Ahh. Worried about ending the date prematurely?”

  “The only time I want to come first is on that bike and that beach,” he says as he motions towards the bikes.

  “Are you going to be a sore loser when I beat you?” I ask. We might be friendly, and I might be able to tamp down my green-eyed monster, but my competitive spirit will not be tamed.

  “Will you?”

  Pulling the helmet on my head, I lift my leg over the bike and take hold of the handlebars.

  “Fuck, that’s sexy.”

  The helmet might muffle the sound, but I hear him clearly. I start my bike, and Harrison’s not long doing the same. The mud flings up behind him as he turns on the throttle.

  I don’t give him a chance and set off first. It’s not long before he’s gaining on me, and I know once we hit the clearing, he’s going to be out and around me. His engine squeals behind me when we hit the sand. Glancing over my shoulder to see where he is, I don’t have to look for long because he zips past me. I move closer to the water to get to the harder sand and easily gain my lost ground until he picks up on what I’m doing and continues to zigzag ahead of me. We fight for first place and push the bikes to the max. Harrison steers his bike in front of mine and narrowly misses my tyre with his rear tyre. The sand flicks in my face and manages to get inside the helmet. I shake my head to clear it from my eyes, and the bike wobbles and my tyre taps his. I release the throttle, but his bike already has the death wobbles. He puts his leg down, but it’s too late, the bike is already toppling. He falls hard onto the sand, and the bike manages to spin and land on his leg. I pull up next to him, dump my bike, and reach for his. I put all my strength into lifting the bike. When I move it off him, he grabs for his leg, and I dump the bike in the opposite direction. I knock my visor up, drop to my knees, and lift the visor on his helmet.

  “Where are you hurt?”

  “Not sure. Everything hurts but it doesn’t.”

  Given my history of horses and riding, I’ve yet to break anything but I know what it’s like to be dazed. After sitting with him for a few moments to check over his body, ensuring he can wriggle his toes and fingers, I
know we can’t sit here, and there’s no way I’d trust him to be able to ride out of here. “Sit tight. I’ll get some help.”

  Righting my bike, I call out that I won’t be long before snapping my visor back down. Within minutes, I have some of the crew rushing over the dune while someone calls for an ambulance. Allan stops in front of me and asks what happened as we make our way to Harrison, and others say they will hold back and wait to guide the ambulance in.

  “We were both just goofing off, and he crossed a little too close,” I say and quickly add, “I would have avoided it if I could have.”

  “Do you think it’s broken?”

  “He’s able to move his body, might be a concussion.”

  Allan swears, and I’ve never felt sorrier for Harrison as we come back to his side. He’s clearly in pain and says it’s his back. Dropping to my knees, I ask him to squeeze my hand. He says his toes are the ones worrying him. Everyone stands around talking about what to do. Do we move him? Leave him there till the ambulance arrives? I reach under his chin and pull on the helmet straps.

  “Where’s the ambulance?” I ask to find Allan’s already on the phone and calling for a helicopter when the ambulance arrives.

  “I’m going to take this off, okay?” As I set the helmet down, I see one of the crew has their phone out and pointed right at us.

  “Turn that off.” Allan takes the lead and orders him to put his phone away. Harrison is pale and breathing way too fast. “I know it hurts. Slow, deep breaths.”

  It takes four crew members to carry Harrison’s stretcher over the uneven ground. What was meant to be a fun afternoon has turned into anything but. Despite being injured, Harrison keeps the crew laughing, even if it is revealing some of our secrets.

  “I was winning the race, and she had to throw me off my bike to make sure I didn’t come first.”

  Allan disappeared as soon as the paramedics arrived. When we approach the dressing rooms to get to the ambulance, I overhear him on the phone again.

  It’s clear Allan’s talking to the studio. I have no idea how serious Harrison’s injury is nor the impact on shooting. I’m watching Harrison get loaded into the back of the ambulance as I look to Allan, and he is pissed.