Off Screen

by Josephine Traynor

  “Nice to meet you,” I say. “I’m—”

  “I know who you are. How did Harrison get you here?”

  “He told me a very special secret about coming here, and I wanted to meet all the people who he holds very dear. I’ve heard a lot about you, too.”

  She doesn’t give me a chance to say anything more as she pulls me into her room and plops down on the bed.

  “Hey, we are here to see everyone,” Harrison says.

  “Off you go then,” Amy says. “Riley and I will be right here. Do you like your nails painted?”

  That’s when I understand why sometimes Harrison came into work with the tiniest of nail polish on his nails. One time, he came in with a whole set painted and held up shooting of a scene having it all removed. “I love it.”

  “I used to be your hand model.” Harrison pouts in a playful way.

  “Bigger and better people, Harry.”

  We all laugh at the quick jibe, and I know I’m going to get along well with her already.

  “Pick your polish,” she says.

  Harrison disappears and leaves me with Amy who pumps me for information about the shoot and his fall. She’s finished painting four of the nails on one hand and focused on the thumb when she says, “You know he’s in love with you, right?”

  I bite my lip; her brashness catches me off guard.

  “Oh, the hours we’ve spent talking about you in this very spot.”

  “How old are you again?” I ask.

  “Age is irrelevant in this place. A person of my history knows there’s no time to waste. You have to grab life and live every moment to the fullest. How do you feel about him?”

  My hand jolts, and the nail polish runs up my finger as Harrison clears his throat behind us.

  “Amy. I think you’ve hogged enough of her time. You can finish the other hand in a bit.”

  Harrison asks me to go to the nurses’ station, and I thought he was right behind me until I turn and he isn’t.

  “Guess what Harrison bought us?” one of the nurses says.

  “I hope it’s a masseuse, I could really go for one of those today.”

  “Nope, but I do give a good shoulder rub,” I say while holding my hands up to announce myself.

  Harrison and Amy join me while the remaining nurses take a second to recognise me.

  “Oh, my God. It’s Jordan,” one says while another says my real name.

  Just as Amy had done, I get pulled into the station and pumped with questions. Stealing a glance to Harrison, who looks happy to stand on the sidelines, I step behind the nurse who mentioned she needed a shoulder rub and get to work.

  “Oh, Lord, does she have the healing hands of an angel.”

  “Where are all the kids?”

  “Nap time. They will be up and ready to go again in about fifteen. You’re going to need all your strength then, but there’s someone who is very keen to meet you.”

  Toby is the sweetest boy and a pure gentleman. When the other kids are getting up and moving around, I stay by his side, even have a quick chat with his mother on the iPad that Harrison got them. My heart breaks hearing that she isn’t able to stay with her son while he’s here, saying she has to get ready for work and she’ll see Toby tomorrow. She needs to work to keep the roof over her head while Toby is in treatment. Having grown up with no money, I know the importance of saving and have worked hard to build a portfolio.

  “Now watch him. He’s been hanging to give you a kiss.” She laughs as she wipes her eyes. “He’s a flirt. Like his father.”

  “It will be on the cheek,” Harrison chimes in from the foot of the bed.

  Leaning over, Toby plants the gentlest kiss on my cheek while the nurse takes a photo. I ask him to sit still so I can return the favour.

  “I am never washing that cheek again,” he gushes, and I tell him he has to wash it.

  True to the nurse’s word, the kids are up and out of their rooms, and the whole atmosphere has changed. Music, activities, dancing for those able to get out of their beds. The kids all look to Harrison in awe as he gives each of them individual attention. He ramps it up for the kids who have the energy and slows it right down to just be with the ones who seem to be barely able to hold their little eyes open.

  Harrison and I have barely spoken since the kids got up, and I haven’t had a chance to even think about being nervous, especially with Toby sticking right by my side. The kids are so bold. They come up and tell you what they want and how they want it. I’ve won a wheelchair rally and painted so many dogs and cats so each child has one for their rooms that my hand cramped up.

  “How you doing?” that familiar sexy man asks from behind.

  Turning, I see his lips have lipstick and his face is covered in stick-on tattoos. Amy joins my side and laughs at the sight of him.

  “I’m great. The kids seem to be having a ball, that’s the main thing.”

  “We need to finish that other hand,” Amy says, and Harrison gives her a glare. “What? I have to start. Unless you want your nails done?”

  “It’s time for Amy to have her cycle. She likes to do nails to distract. You look to be her new guinea pig.”

  I say my goodbyes to Toby before I’m being led into Amy’s room. The door swings open to my good friend Jason. When I heard the nurses wanted massages, I excused myself to use the bathroom and quickly sent him a text asking if he was free along with a big tip for his services. Even in the short time I’ve been here, I know I want to contribute.

  “Wow. You’re glowing,” Jason is practically yelling. Demure and low-key is not one of his strengths. Gasping, he grabs hold of my hand and proclaims that I must have met a man. I lean in close, and he whispers so only I can hear, “No one looks like that when they are sexless.”

  The reason for my glow makes an appearance when he rounds the corner. “Jason. How are you, man?”

  Interesting. Jason never mentioned that he was friends with Harrison.

  “Riley? Come on,” Amy calls.

  Regrettably, I leave the boys by themselves and stop as I step into Amy’s room and see her hooked up to machines. “I can cover them up if they make you uncomfortable.”

  Shaking my head, I tell her it’s fine. “I want you to be comfortable.”

  “Sounds like an oxymoron when they’re pumping chemicals into my system. Want the same colour on that hand?”

  Seeing a solid collection to choose from, I tell her she can paint whatever colour she likes.

  Beaming, she says, “That’s what Harrison says.” After she presses play on her phone, the soft music fills in the air as we continue our small talk. She does a great job of my nails and demands to fix the other hand.

  “No way. This is an Amy original. You can have another go another time. If you want.”

  “I want.”

  She’s deeply engrossed in going over with the second coat, and her comments throw me off guard.

  “He told me not to ask you again, so I won’t. I’ll just tell you that I’ve spent the last two years listening to him agonize over telling you how he really feels. The Harrison who behaved with you, I don’t know him. I know only a generous guy who wants the best for anyone.”

  “We’ve had a long and complicated relationship. I’m happy just taking it slow and making sure we are on the same page about things.”

  “He’s on the same page as you. He wants you. He gets that lovesick face whenever he mentions you. See. That’s the face.”

  I turn to look over my shoulder. Harrison is leaning on the doorframe giving Amy a shake of his head before breaking into a smile. “I see there was no point in my telling you not to talk about Riley and me.” She pops the P when she says nope. “How’s your schedule for tomorrow?”

  I’m unsure if he’s asking me or Amy until she answers that her people will be in contact with his people. Amy starts to protest when he says it’s time for us to go. It’s only then that I glance at the clock and see that we’ve been here for four hours. I
say goodbye to the nurses and thank them for letting me stay, and they assure me that I’m welcome back anytime.

  “How are you doing?” he asks.

  “Is it wrong that I feel invigorated? That I feel inspired?”

  Grabbing hold of my hand, we make our way into the elevator, Harrison tells me that it’s perfectly fine to feel that way.

  It doesn’t take long for the messages to start chiming through when I turn my phone back on while we’re getting into the taxi.

  “Hey, was thinking we could go out for a nice meal or something,” I say before I lose my courage. Why my nerves have taken over about a meal is crazy.

  “I’d love to. Have a question for you, though: Do we want to go public with our relationship?”

  Feeling as if he doesn’t, I look down to my phone; it’s vibrating in my hand again.

  “Because I do,” he says. “I just don’t want to make that decision for you. We’re a team, remember?”

  My head has only been thinking about being with Harrison. I hadn’t thought any further about others knowing. “Well. I guess they are going to find out eventually. There is part of me that likes having you—” my hand falls over his “—and this just to myself. Maybe the world can wait a little longer?” Watching the world pass by from the window, I start to think of how we can make this work. I want to be with Harrison in every sense and that does mean being out in public. I just don’t want the public to know it’s us.

  Flicking my phone around, I read Lydia’s message asking me to ring her. It’s going to have to wait while I message my friend who is known for transforming the biggest, burliest men into the most beautiful of women. I know she can make me look like someone else. Harrison tells me he’s going to head back to his place for a little bit to get changed when I get a reply from my friend saying he’s free to help me tonight and what time did he want me to come over.

  “So what time can I pick you up?” Harrison asks.

  “How about I meet you there?”

  His eyebrow lifts as if he’s waiting for me to tell him what I have planned. “You pick the place and tell me what time to be there.”

  Now his eyes narrow. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”

  “Just not ready to share you with the world yet. You seem to always be able to get the VIP section at Afterglow; do you think you can make that happen for tonight?”

  Without saying a word, he pulls out his phone and sends off a text. “Consider it done. Told him we’ll be there at seven.”

  “Perfect.”

  Harrison assures me his back is fine and that he wants to get a few jobs done before going out tonight. “There was a time when I couldn’t stand the sight of you because it hurt too much,” he says after giving me a passionate kiss just inside the doorway to my garage housing his car. “Now I can’t wait to see you again.”

  “It will be a few hours. It’s important that you have your things and I have mine.”

  Thankfully he agrees, and when he steps down into the garage, he’s eye level with me.

  “We are still individuals. I want you to do you and have your own things,” I say.

  “Seven. Don’t leave me hanging there.”

  Waving him off, I’m finally able to ring Lydia, and my call goes straight to her answering machine. “Hey, Lydia, sorry I haven’t had a chance to get back to you. Going out tonight with Harrison, but it’s not going to be a late one. When have you ever known me to have a late one? Let me know if you are keen for tomorrow. Up for our usual at the gym tomorrow? Could use some Lydia time.”

  After hanging up, I dial my friend Steven’s number and tell him to bring his arsenal of makeup trickery over whenever he likes while I start prepping myself for tonight.

  Steven is a magician. My blonde long hair has been transformed into a sleek brown bob and that changes my look instantly. Couple that with dramatic winged eyeliner and bright red lipstick, even I have trouble recognising myself.

  “You’re a master,” I say as I run my fingers through the wig. It’s very close to my natural colour, and the ache to be able to change my hair is strong. The network won’t even entertain the thought, so I’ve given up asking. “I love it.” Looking to the suitcase full of other wigs, I want to try them all on.

  “Now you just need the right dress to go with this. What do you have?”

  My clothing is very sedate compared to my character’s. “I have a brand-new little black dress that I’ve been saving for a special occasion.”

  “Well, go get it on and see if it’s the right one for tonight.”

  The bodice of the dress is form-fitting and pushes my cleavage up while the skirt part is loose and moves when I walk.

  “Do you have coloured shoes?”

  I lead Steven by the hand into my wardrobe, and he gasps when he sees one whole wall is dedicated to my shoe collection. “You pick.”

  Homing in on a pair of cobalt-blue heels that have similar strapping to what is over my chest on the dress, he picks them up.

  “Perfect. They might not know who you are, but everyone is going to want to know when they see you.”

  “I just want one man’s eyes on me tonight,” I say as I fix the straps in place. I have no idea where the night is going to take me. Might be back here with Harrison or he might invite me to his place. I’ve wondered for the longest time what his place would be like that now that I’ve spent time with him, I’ve probably imagined it wrong. He might not have been with me, but Harrison was sending the sweetest of messages to me all afternoon.

  Lydia was able to get back to me, and we are on for a workout tomorrow.

  Steven assures me he doesn’t need a hand in carrying his stuff to the car, and I take him up on the offer to drop me off at the nightclub. It’s just a couple of minutes past seven when he pulls up to the kerb. Glancing to see if the same security guard is on the front door, I groan, catching sight of him. There’s no line at this hour, therefore there’s no need to wait. Stepping out of the car, I wait to get carded. Nope. He just opens the door and tells me to have a good night. Thinking the outfit has fooled him, I’m almost through the door when he asks for my ID. There is no way I can lie, so I hand that card over.

  “Actually, you’re right to go in, love. Have a great night.”

  I skirt the darkened edges of the nightclub until I see Harrison is already seated in the VIP area. I make my way to the opposite corner. We might be more than friends now, doesn’t mean I still can’t have a little fun and games. Pulling out my phone as I order a drink, I open the screen to type him a message.

  Lonely over there? That suit’s going to look even better when it’s off your body.

  Send.

  My drink arrives in time as I watch Harrison pull his phone from his pocket in the reflection of the mirror behind the bar. He looks in my direction before continuing to look around the room.

  He sends another message back, asking where I’m hiding.

  I’m not. I’m in plain sight. You can’t see me for looking.

  He’s sitting up higher in his seat and keeps searching everywhere but to me. I send him another message to tell him he’s cold. He’s hunting in the wrong direction. Standing, he adjusts his suit, and his imposing figure gets me all hot and flustered.

  His text reads:

  Give me another hint. I’m going to the bar. What would you like to drink?

  At this hour, there’s no one to man the VIP area, and you have to get the drinks yourself, and I make this work to my advantage. After telling him what drink I’d like, I pocket my phone in my purse, and, while collecting my drink, I set off around the few keen bodies on the dance floor and move towards the steps to go to the VIP section. Harrison is right in front of me, going in the opposite direction. Giving me a nod, he doesn’t even stop to check me over. At first, I’m pissed off that he doesn’t recognise me. This dress leaves nothing to the imagination. My chest is up and on full display, and he doesn’t want anything to do with it. Knowing that he’
s here, surrounded by some very beautiful people, and he doesn’t look at any of them … Wow. I might not have consciously been meaning to test him, but he’s passed with flying colours. Sticking close to the dark edges of the area he just vacated, I let my phone go in my purse and take a seat where he was sitting.

  My heart beats hard with the anticipation of him coming back to find me. “Ah, sorry, miss, this has been reserved—”

  It’s only when our eyes meet that he stumbles on his words.

  “Reserved for who?”

  “Reserved for a very special lady and I.”

  “She won’t mind if I hang around until she gets here?”

  Harrison laughs as he sets my drink down before me. “This I didn’t expect.”

  “You walked right past me.”

  Taking a seat next to me, he leans over for the kiss I happily give him while he rests his hand on my exposed knee. “I did? Hmm, but because I was looking for the real you.” His voice comes out in a rumble that has me yearning for another kiss.

  Even though my eyes are closed, a bright flash causes us to break apart. Harrison lifts his hand to shield my face and looks over to the railing.

  “What the fuck are you doing?”

  My old friend from the front door is now physically removing the person that I’m assuming took our photo.

  “Shit. I give that ten minutes to be out in the world.”

  It takes five before it’s already trending. The headline of Who is Harrison Kissing? helped it along. Because of the angle of the wig, there’s no way to tell it’s me. Lydia sends me a private message with the photo saying she’s going to kill Harrison.

  “Might want to hide your balls. Lydia thinks you’re cheating on me.” I turn my phone around for him to see, and he laughs at the message. The whole time, he hasn’t stopped touching me.

  “I think this was a smart idea. Was thinking about what you said about how you want it just to be our secret for now. It is unsettling how turned on I am when I’m looking at a stranger but know it’s you. Does that even make sense?”