"Yeah, me," she sighed resignedly. "I'm not used to accepting blame for things, so if I try to shirk my way out of it again you may have to remind me."
"Oh, don't worry," he said, grinning, "I'm good at reminders."
"Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of."
"Keep doing like you did today and you won't have to worry about my reminders," he praised. "You did terrific. Wonderful dinner, by the way. Thank you. I'll probably see you in a couple days or so. Remember to let me know if you go anywhere." He turned to go, then after a brief hesitation, turned around and kissed her forehead. "I was proud of you today, Kelli."
She smiled, and shyly said, "Thank you. Was that kiss my first reward?"
He returned her smile. "Absolutely. Better than consequences?"
"Oh, yeah," she sighed. "Much better."
She turned red, and Derek realized she hadn't meant to say that. Not wanting to embarrass her, he simply said, "Good. Sleep well tonight, Kelli."
He went to bed that evening thinking about Kelli's response to his kiss on her forehead, and how he felt about it.
Chapter Six
Kelli couldn't stop thinking about Derek the next day. When she had something on her mind she generally cleaned or cooked, and when Phil came home from work that evening his apartment sparkled, and smelled like a buffet. He watched her take a pan of lasagna from the oven and place it on the spotless counter. It joined the meatloaf, stuffed peppers, fried chicken, scalloped potatoes, chocolate cake, apple crisp, and lemon pie. A pot of chili and one of vegetable beef soup simmered on the stove.
He was standing in the doorway staring at all the food when Kelli turned around and saw him. "Hi, Phil," she greeted. "Hungry?"
"Not that hungry," he said, smiling. "Something on your mind?"
"Not really," she denied. "Why would you ask?"
He opened the refrigerator to get some iced tea. When he saw the macaroni salad, coleslaw, bean salad, fruit salad, tapioca, chocolate pudding, iced tea and lemonade, he got a glass of tea for himself, and a glass of lemonade. He handed it to Kelli, and said, "Let's go sit down, Kelli, and talk."
"What do you want to talk about?"
"Whatever caused all this," he said, gesturing to all the food in the kitchen.
"I just didn't have anything to do today, so I thought I'd cook a little." The buzzer sounded on the stove and she took out two loaves of homemade bread.
Phil shook his head. "I also noticed how clean everything is, Kel."
"Yeah, I cleaned a little, too. If you're letting me stay here rent-free I figured I could at least help with the cooking and cleaning."
"Come on, sit down and tell me what's on your mind, Kelli. I know you. What's troubling you?"
"No, really, Phil, I just had to have something to do today. My classes and work don't start until next week, so I had to have something to do today."
"Today's only Thursday. If your classes don't start until Monday, I better go buy a freezer to store all your cooking."
She laughed and said, "Maybe I better find something else to do tomorrow."
"Yeah, maybe," he agreed. He studied her a few minutes, and said, "Okay, if you're sure you don't have anything you'd like to talk about, we better tackle all this food. Let's call Derek and see if he'll come help us eat some of this."
She jumped in quickly and said, "No, don't do that."
Phil's eyebrows shot up. "No?"
Stammering a bit, she said, "I mean, he probably already has plans today. He's probably got a date or something."
Phil smiled and said, "That's what I thought. Come on, Kelli, let's go sit down and talk about Derek a little bit."
"What? Why do you want to talk about him?"
"Because I have a feeling he's the cause of all this food." He watched her uneasiness, and asked, "Do you want to talk over dinner, or before dinner?"
"Okay, you win," she sighed. "But is this between us?"
"Absolutely. I won't say anything to Derek you don't want me to."
"Okay, thank you. I guess I could use someone to talk to."
"Then I'm your man. What's wrong; is it something with your probation?"
"No. I know what I have to do for probation, and I'm determined to do it."
"Good. So if it's nothing to do with your probation, it must be something personal. Are you having a problem with him, or is the problem that you're getting along too well?" He watched her face turn red and said, "Bingo."
"Phil, what's wrong with me?"
"What do you mean?"
"You know me. I've had a lot of friends, but I've never felt this way about a man before. I've never met a man I trusted enough to get that close to. How can he have me turned so inside out in just a few weeks?"
"Kelli, it's not exactly just a few weeks. You met him before, you just didn't spend much time around him. My memory of that first time you met him, though, you didn't exactly mind being around him."
Kelli blushed again. "How did you know that? I never said anything, and I was just visiting you, so I figured I probably wouldn't see him again, so I didn't talk to him much."
"No, but I saw the look in your eyes as you kept checking him out all night." She was turning red again as he told her, "But don't worry, Sis, I never said anything to him. Mainly because I noticed him checking you out all night, too."
"He did?"
"Yes, he did. That tells me you two had some kind of attraction to each other right from the start. Couple that with how you've been thrown together now, and it doesn't surprise me a bit. As a matter of fact, I thought long and hard about asking Derek to help you before I asked him. I was afraid if you two were attracted to each other, he wouldn't be able to be your probation officer."
"Really? You were worried about it?"
"Sure."
"What made you decide to ask him?"
"Because I wasn't sure how to help you. I knew you were a spoiled little brat, but you're also my sister. I'm too close to you to give you what I knew you need. But I knew he could. He's a damn good probation officer. The fact that I knew he was attracted to you, at least enough to keep looking at you all evening a few years back only convinced me that he'd pay a little extra attention to you."
Phil saw the shock in Kelli's eyes. "So, you knew all along that we might—"
Phil sighed. "I didn't really know, because after all, that was five years ago. I didn't even know if you guys would remember each other. Like you said, you really just said hello and spent the night staring at each other. You didn't talk or get acquainted. A lot's changed, you've grown up a lot since then. But I have been concerned, I'll admit. I want you to know, though, if something comes of you and Derek, I won't mind, as long as it doesn't interfere with your probation."
"You won't mind?"
"No. I can handle my sister and my best friend getting together. In a lot of ways, I see you two being good for each other."
"You do?"
"Sure. He's very protective, very organized and very focused. You're none of those."
"Gee, thanks."
"But on the other hand, you live life. You grab the bull by the horns and live life to the fullest. And you have a huge heart. In my opinion you guys both have something the other could benefit from."
"Do you think he—"
"Do I think he's thinking the same thing about you that you are him?" She nodded, and he answered, "I have no idea. He hasn't said anything about it. I do know he'll try to guard against allowing himself to feel any of those feelings for you."
"Why? Is he already dating someone?"
"No, he isn't. But he won't want to get involved with you personally while he's your PO, because that's not allowed. He thinks he can help you, and he really wants to."
"So if we were to start dating or something he'd have to quit being my PO?"
"That's my understanding, yes."
"Then what would happen?"
"I don't know. Maybe I'll ask him."
"Okay. No, wait. You can't ask him."
"Why not?"
"You can't tell him we were talking about this. If you tell him I'm attracted to him, I'd be so embarrassed. What if he doesn't feel anything for me?"
"Get real, Kel. Twice now I walked into your bedroom to find you sitting on his lap, your head laying on his chest, with his arms wrapped around you very protectively. You cannot convince me he feels nothing for you."
"Phil, he'd just spanked me. He was comforting me."
"And it looked to me like you were comforting him, as well. But don't worry, I see your point. I won't talk to him unless he brings it up first."
"But you can't tell him how I feel about him."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm not sure I know myself yet."
"Meaning?"
"I find myself attracted to him, but not because he's absolutely gorgeous, which he is, by the way. I mean, I've told myself I should hate him, and I've tried to, but I can't."
"Why should you hate him? He's helping you."
"Yeah, I know, but he's bossy and gives me tons of rules, and he spanks me. Hard. It hurts."
Phil chuckled. "Yeah, I heard. The walls are pretty thin. I told you he was very focused and takes things seriously."
"Yeah, no kidding. Anyway, even after that, I can't hate him. What do I see in him?"
"That's for you to figure out, Kel. Maybe you know in your heart that he's trying his best to help you. One thing I do know, though; don't do something stupid, like get scared and run. I've seen you do that before when you start getting close to someone."
"I don't do that." She stopped abruptly, thinking, and admitted, "Damn. I have done that, haven't I?"
"Yes, you have, and watch your language, Kelli. Derek says I can warn you twice in one day about your language, and if it happens a third time, he wants to know about it. That's your first warning."
"Are you serious? He wants to know about my language?"
"Yes, he does. I told you, Kelli, he's serious about helping you. But getting back to you, you have run in the past, but don't you dare do it now. No matter what happens between you and Derek, good or bad, promise me you won't run. You stay here and face it. It just may be the best thing that's ever happened to you. If you feel like running, come and talk to me instead, okay?"
"I'll try to."
"Kelli, you do more than try. You get it in your head right now that you're staying. You need Derek. I told you he's very protective. Let him protect you. He can help you in a lot of ways, and I want you to give him the chance."
"Yeah, I want to give him that chance, too."
"Good. Now, let's eat." Over dinner she agreed he could call Derek and invite him to dinner the next evening.
***
Kelli spent the next day thinking over what Phil had said the night before. He was probably right when he suggested they try to put any feelings they may have for each other on hold, or just not let them develop, until after her probation. Having made that decision, she got her new textbooks and set about getting a jump on her reading.
She read for a couple hours, and had to take a break. There wasn't anything to do in the apartment, so she decided to go outside and enjoy the wonderful weather. She knew she'd be able to concentrate on her textbooks again after a good brisk walk. She walked for almost an hour, and felt refreshed and ready to hit the books again as she turned to head back to her apartment.
She went back the way she'd come, enjoying the weather and seeing what all was in her new neighborhood. Pretty soon she noticed the clouds were starting to get dark and it was cooling off. She walked a little faster, hoping to beat the rain, but soon realized what she was passing didn't look familiar. She thought she'd only turned once in her walk, but she didn't recognize anything. Surely she had to be close by now, so she kept walking. Unfortunately, the further she walked, the darker the clouds got, and the more she realized she had no idea where she was.
She hated to call Phil. He'd laugh at her and her bad sense of direction, but finally she decided she better call him and get directions home. It was starting to rain a little, and it was getting cold out. She reached for her phone, and remembered she'd plugged it in this morning because she'd forgotten to charge it the night before. Now it was raining harder, getting colder, and she was lost and had no phone. Great! Now what?
She stopped to ponder her problem. She could go to one of the businesses around her and ask to use their phone, but she was embarrassed to admit she didn't know Phil's number, other than speed dial number two on her phone. She couldn't even remember the name of the company he worked for. She realized the only phone number she actually knew was Derek's. She'd programmed his into her phone yesterday and remembered what it was. Maybe if she called him he could give her Phil's number. She hated to bother him at work, but she didn't know what else to do.
Checking her watch, it was 4:15. Derek said he usually left the office between 4:00 and 4:30, so he may not even be there yet. She quickly looked up and down the street for a business to stop in, and realized there weren't many businesses, and the ones she saw didn't look too safe. Not seeing any other options, she quickly went into a dry cleaner and asked if she could please use their phone. She called Derek, hoping he was still in his office, and was relieved when the receptionist assured her he was indeed there.
"Derek Anderson."
"Oh, Derek, I'm glad you're still there."
"Kelli? Where are you; are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm okay. Why?"
"I've been calling you for the last two hours, young lady, on your cell phone and Phil's home phone. Where are you, and where's your phone?"
"I went for a walk, and my phone's home charging."
After a few seconds of silence Derek asked, "Where are you now, and what's wrong; why are you calling?"
"Well, I'm kind of lost."
"You're what?"
"I started walking, and I thought I only turned once, but apparently I turned more than once. I have no idea where the apartment is."
"Do you know where you are, or what street you're on?"
She checked with the employee at the dry cleaner, and repeated the address to Derek.
"Kelli, that's not a section of town you should be roaming around in by yourself. Can you stay inside, where you're at?" She asked the lady, then assured Derek she could. "Good. Stay inside there until I get there. I'm leaving now. We'll talk when we get you home." He clicked off without saying bye, and Kelli knew she was in trouble. She thanked the lady for the use of the phone, and went over to the window to watch for Derek.
The more she thought about her conversation with Derek, the more worried she got. It never occurred to her to call Derek before she went for a walk since she wasn't really going anywhere, but looking back on how the rule was worded, it said anytime you leave the apartment. No wonder he sounded upset.
Ten minutes later Derek pulled up in front of the store. She started out, but Derek was coming into the store, shaking his head, so she waited. He came into the store, smiled at her and said, "Kelli, are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. Thank you for coming."
"We'll talk when we get you home." That sounded ominous. He turned to the clerk that had helped Kelli. "Thank you very much for letting her use the phone and wait here for me. Do I owe you for the call?" The clerk assured him there was no charge, and he thanked her again, and turned back to Kelli. "Come on, let's get you home." He had a firm grip on her upper arm as he led her to his Jeep. He opened her door, helped her in, and fastened her seat belt, before going around and getting in himself.
She could tell he wasn't happy, and tried to lighten his mood. "Thank you again, Derek. I hated to call you at work, but I didn't know Phil's number without my phone. I was hoping I could get you and you could give me his number."
"Phil's been worried sick about you, too, Kelli. You owe him an apology."
"Why was he worried?"
"Because when I couldn't reach you I was worried, so I called him to see if anything was wrong.
He didn't know where you were, either, so he and I have both been trying to call you for a couple hours. I called him on my way over here to let him know you're okay."
"Why were you calling me?"
"Phil called and invited me to dinner tonight, and I forgot to ask him what time. I was calling you to thank you for the invitation and see when you wanted me there."
"I'm sorry, Derek."
"We'll talk about it when we get home."
She was pretty sure what he meant by that, but she had to ask. "Does that mean you're going to spank me?"
"Should I?"
"I don't know," she said quietly, looking at the floor.
"You think about that until we get you home. We'll talk more about it then." She looked at him, but couldn't really tell much from his expression. She did in fact think about it, trying to make herself look at it honestly, the rest of the way home.
Derek parked his Jeep and came around to help Kelli out, once again grasping her firmly around her upper arm, and leading her to her apartment. Phil had his arms around her as soon as she was inside, asking, "What happened, Kelli? Are you sure you're okay?"
"I'm sorry, Phil. I didn't mean to worry you. It was a nice day and I went for a walk, and apparently I forgot to watch where I went and I got lost."
"Where did you end up?"
Kelli glanced at Derek, not sure where she ended up. "She was on Chester, between 25th and 26th Streets."
"You were where? Kelli, you should never be down there alone."
"That's what Derek said," she lamented.
"And he's right. I told you last night, listen to him."
"Listen, I'm sorry, all right? I didn't get lost on purpose. Neither one of you bothered to show me around the neighborhood or anything, so I don't want to hear any more bitching about my simple mistake. Got it?" She turned to stomp away from them and into her bedroom, when Derek grabbed her arm.
It was as if the moment he grabbed her arm a light bulb went on in her head. She suddenly realized what she'd just said and done, and had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. Before she could say anything, Derek said, "Phil, if you'll excuse us, Kelli and I have a few things to discuss."
On Probation Page 8
