Say You Love Me

by J. S. Cooper

  “Sally.” Mila started laughing. “You don’t need to go to a mental asylum. You’re not crazy. I know how you feel, though. I was there with TJ. It’s hard to know when to give up. But you have to ask yourself one question.”

  “What’s that?” I said, slightly annoyed she was laughing, but understanding how dramatic I sounded.

  “Do you want to be with him?”

  “That’s a stupid question.” I rolled my eyes at her. “Of course, I want to be with him.”

  “No, I mean, is that the most important thing in your life? Do you think you’re meant to be with him? Do you want to be with him for the rest of your life? Do you think he is perfect? Do you see him as your soul mate? Forget your emotions. The love in your heart. Forget the years you’ve been wanting him. Forget everything you think you know. Now clear your brain. Think of him. Just Cody. As a person. Forget his looks. Think about how he treats you. How he treats me. Think about what he does for a living. His interests. If he loves dogs, kids, how he treats elderly people, the foods he likes to eat, the jokes he makes. Think about the good and the bad. Can you deal with that? Is he the man you want?”

  “Yes.” I nodded simply. “Even the bad things are things I love. Do I sound pathetic?”

  “You do know he cuts his toenails in the living room and leaves the clippings on the table?” Mila asked me softly. “And I’m sure he rarely does laundry.”

  “Mila!” I laughed and shook my head.

  “I’m not lying.” She laughed. “I’ve seen him in the same outfit five days in one week and I know it’s the same clothes and not just duplicates, because I’ve seen the same stains on the clothes day in and day out and sometimes he smells.” She made a face. “Granted, he doesn’t do that every week. If he did, there would be a major intervention, but I’m not sure he showers every day either.”

  “Mila, are you trying to turn me off of him?” I looked at her and laughed. “These are not the best qualities that you’re bringing up.”

  “I just wanna make sure that this isn’t about the fantasy of Cody.”

  “Trust me, I know how gross he is.” I laughed. “You and I have been best friends for years, remember? I’ve known him for ages. I remember when he really didn’t shower for weeks. Remember that time in high school?” I made a face. “Your mom and dad threw that bucket of water over him?”

  “And Nonno held the hose up to him.” She nodded, her face nostalgic. “That was hilarious. Nonno said that if he was going to act like a dog, he would get washed like a dog.”

  “Yeah, that was funny.” I nodded. “Nonno was hilarious.”

  “Yeah. I miss him,” Mila said with a soft smile and my heart ached for her as her Nonno had passed away recently. It had been a shock to everyone in the family, but especially to Mila. Mila and her Nonno had had such a close relationship and she’d been devastated when he’d died. But he’d left her the greatest gift he could have. He left her with a relationship that she’d wanted forever. It had been Nonno who had really been instrumental in getting her together with TJ. I wished that I’d had a Nonno who could do something like that for me, but I guess I’d just have to rely on Mila’s help. “Anyways, let’s think how to get this started,” Mila said softly.

  “How to get what started?” I asked, confused at the sudden change of subject.

  “How to get you and Cody as best friends.” She grinned.

  “Oh, that, so we’re doing it?” I chewed on my lower lip nervously. “Do you really think this is a good idea?”

  “Yeah, it’s a great idea.” She nodded. “Okay, maybe not great, but I think it’s pretty solid. Right?” She looked at me uncertainly.

  “Girl, I have no idea.” I laughed. “I obviously have no ideas or I wouldn’t be sitting here entertaining yours.”

  “Okay, so we go with Plan A, then.” She grinned.

  “Is it really Plan A if there is no Plan B?” I laughed.

  “Shh. Stop being a pessimist.”

  “I’m not a pessimist. I’m a realist. And honestly, I don’t know how this is going to work. But I’m a sucker and a loser and if it means I get to spend more time with Cody, then I’ll do it. I guess it’s a nice consolation prize. We can be best friends, even if we’re not going to be living together happily ever after.”

  “And hey, maybe best friends is better, right? Best friends are for life, whereas relationships can end. I mean, this could mean that you guys can be together forever.”

  “Huh?”

  “I mean, be together in each other’s lives forever. Always enjoying a close relationship. Maybe you’ll be his closest confidante.”

  “Uhm, yeah.” I made a face. “I guess that’s true.”

  “He’ll call you before he calls anyone else. You’ll grab dinners on Fridays. Talk on the phone every Sunday. Your families will spend vacations together. You’ll be old and gray together, talking about how great your friendship is.”

  “Yeah.” I frowned slightly and gave her a look, my stomach sinking at her words. “Uhm you do know that I don’t just want to be his best friend, right? I mean, yeah that would be cool, but frankly I think it would kill me to be spending Friday dinners with him, knowing his wife was at home with his kids. That is not the consolation prize that I want. I’d rather kill myself than have that life.”

  “I mean, I know that’s not the goal, but if that’s what happens, are you okay with that?” Mila looked over at the bar and stared at Cody for a few seconds and then back at me, her expression thoughtful.

  “Mila, the friendship would be over so fast if that were to happen. There is no way in hell that I can see us as best friends and me being cool with his wife and kids and not feeling jealous as hell.” I groaned and put my face in my hands. “Honestly, it would kill me. It makes me want to cry right now, just thinking of him with someone else.”

  “Well, you’d be married with your own kids as well.”

  “I, yeah, uhm, if that is the way you think this is going to go down, then maybe this is not such a good idea. That is not the end goal I’m looking for.” I grabbed my glass and took another large sip of wine.

  “I mean, yeah, that’s not the ultimate goal.” She looked guilty. “I’m not even sure why I brought that up. That’s not an option. The goal is for you and Cody to get married.”

  “Or to date, at least. I at least want a chance for him to really get to know me and see if he wants to be with me. I want him to fall in love with me.”

  “Our main goal should be the end goal though, right?” Mila looked at me hesitantly. “I mean, the end goal isn’t to go on a few dates, is it? I mean, what are a few dates? If what you say is true and he’s the love of your life… If he’s the one you want to spend the rest of your life with… If he’s the one you think about, the one you love, the one in your heart… Then he’s the one you want to spend eternity with. He’s the one you want to marry.”

  “I just feel like a psycho saying that out loud.” I made a face at her. “We haven’t even kissed and I want to marry him? How does that not sound crazy?”

  “Hey, we all need to be a little crazy.” She grinned. “And if that’s what you want, you need to call it into being.”

  “Call it into being? Oh, my God, Mila, what are you talking about?”

  “You need to create a vision board.”

  “A vision board?” I blinked at her. “What’s that?”

  “It’s a board of what you envision in your life. What you want to accomplish. What you see in your future.”

  “Uhm, okay?”

  “So we need to get your favorite photo of Cody and put it front and center.”

  “What?” I screeched. “I’m not putting a photo of Cody on a board. That really is psycho.”

  “Sally, listen to me.”

  “Ugh, I’m afraid to keep listening.” I laughed. “This is getting crazier by the second.” I put the glass back down on the table and put my face in my hands and groaned. “And the crazier you get is the crazier
I’m going to get.”

  “What’s going on, girls?” TJ drawled as he approached the table with Cody close behind him. TJ held a pitcher of beer in his hands and Cody held two mugs.

  “Not much,” I squeaked out as my eyes flew open and my face grew red. I tried to think about how loud my voice had been, but I was pretty sure that TJ and Cody hadn’t overheard our conversation.

  “What do you guys want to do next?” Cody asked, chugging down his beer. “I know this cool place on 8th Street—they have a mechanical bull.”

  “A mechanical bull?” Mila peered at him as she spoke. “Are we expected to get on the bull?”

  “Nah.” He shook his head. “But we can always go and watch.”

  “Cody.” Mila sighed and rolled her eyes. “That doesn’t sound like fun.”

  “It’s plenty fun.” He laughed and licked his lips. “What I wouldn’t do to be that bull.”

  “Cody.” Mila shook her head and looked at me with a rueful smile. “Guys!”

  “Yeah.” I tried to laugh nonchalantly, like I thought it was funny that Cody wanted to go and ogle some random girls. “You’re a pig, Cody.” I looked at him and he laughed, his eyes wide and happy as he stared at me.

  “What can I say?” He grinned and winked at me. My insides fluttered at his smile and I wanted to smack myself. Why did he have such an effect on me? Just one smile and my insides were turned to jelly. How I wanted to turn off the switch inside of me that responded to his every glance and smile. Where was the off switch when I needed it?

  “You can say what you want, but that won’t change what we already think and know,” I shot back at him and winked.

  “You think you know, but you don’t really know,” Cody said with a twist of his lips, his hazel eyes bright with mirth as he chugged down his beer.

  “Oh, I know.” I laughed, surprised at how carefree I felt. “Trust me, I know.”

  “We all know,” Mila added and punched her brother in the shoulder.

  “What are they even talking about?” Cody asked TJ, who just shook his head.

  “I have no clue.” He sipped on his beer and laughed. “But then, I never really have a clue.”

  “So we’re going to go to ride some bulls?” Cody asked eagerly and we all just looked at each other and burst out laughing. I looked over at Mila, who was studying my face, and I gave her a small nod. I was down to try her plan. I loved Cody. I wanted to get to know Cody better. And if this was the way to get into his life on a deeper level, I was going to take my chance. I was going to go big and if it didn’t work out, I’d just go home.

  Chapter 4

  Cody

  “So how about them bulls?” I chugged down the last of my beer and grinned at TJ as he and Mila and Sally waited for me so we could leave the bar.

  “How about ‘em?” TJ grinned at me and I lifted up my hand to high-five him. I saw Mila glaring at him from the corner of my eye, but I was too buzzed to care.

  “That was frigging awesome,” I called out to the hot redhead who was walking past. She looked over at me with a big smile and licked her lips slowly, seductively. “You sure know how to ride those bulls,” I said again and winked at her.

  “I know how to ride a lot of things.” She paused and ran her fingers down the valley between her breasts. “I like to ride.”

  “Oh, really?” I said, about to take a step closer to her.

  “Cody.” Mila’s voice was sharp. “Really?” she snapped at me and I glanced over at her. Her face was pissed and then I looked at Sally, who had turned away from me, and TJ who was shaking his head slightly. I put my hands up in the air and laughed and then looked back at the sexy redhead.

  “Well, have a good night riding.” I grinned at her. “I think we’re about to leave.”

  “Pity,” the redhead said and sucked on one of her fingers. “We could have had some fun.” She tossed her hair and then walked away.

  “Thanks for nothing, Mila.” I rolled my eyes at my sister and then looked at Sally, who was still avoiding my gaze. “Sally…” I said her name slowly. “Sally,” I said again, wanting her attention.

  “Yes, Cody?” she said, as she finally looked at me.

  “Nothing.” I laughed. “Wanna get another drink?”

  “No, I’m okay, thanks.”

  “Come on.” I reached over and grabbed her hand. “Let’s get a drink and dance.”

  “I think we’re all ready to go home now, Cody.” TJ gave me one of his looks. I tried not to roll my eyes at him. Ever since he’d gotten serious with Mila, he’d started becoming more and more like my dad and had lost almost all of his fun.

  “I’m not ready.” I shook my head. “Are you ready, Sally?”

  “Kinda,” she said.

  “Let’s go, Cody,” Mila said, frowning as she looked at me. “We’ve watched enough people riding bulls. I don’t think we need to watch people dancing now.”

  “I don’t want to watch people dancing. I want to dance. With Sally.” I pulled her towards me and spun her around. “We can two-step, or salsa, or even bump-n-grind. I’m not picky.”

  “You can’t even dance.” Mila rolled her eyes at me.

  “I can dance when I’m drunk enough.” I started moving slowly and pulled Sally closer to me. She stumbled slightly against me and I held her close to me for a few seconds. “You okay?”

  “Yeah.” She blinked up at me and grinned. “I’m fine.”

  “Good,” I said softly, gazing down into her big, beautiful, brown eyes.

  “So show me your dance moves, then,” she said softly, not moving back.

  “Is that a challenge?” I stared at her lips for a few seconds, enjoying the feel of her body next to mine.

  “I just want to see your moves,” she said and started moving back and forth slowly. “Can you keep up with me?”

  “Hmm, let me see.” I put my hands on her waist and started moving my hips against her.

  “Okay, guys. I think we’re going to go.” TJ looked over at me and I could see him smiling at me slightly. “You guys okay to get home?”

  “Yeah, we’ll catch a cab. I’ll make sure Sally gets home safely.”

  “You sure you want to stay and dance, Sally?” Mila asked her friend, and I felt myself waiting with bated breath to see what she was going to say.

  “Sure, why not?” She laughed, throwing her head back, her hair flying past my face as she moved. I grinned at her and pulled her closer to me.

  “You two boring folks go home, we’re going to continue having fun.”

  “I guess,” Mila said, chewing her lower lip, looking slightly nervous. “Sally, we can all ride together, if you want?”

  “I’m cool,” Sally said as she looked at Mila. “I’m just going to enjoy the night.”

  “Okay.” Mila nodded, then turned towards TJ. “Let’s go, then. I’m tired. I’ll see you both in a few days, yeah?”

  “Sounds good. Bye, sis.” I smiled at her and then watched as she and TJ left. I leaned down and whispered in Sally’s ear as we moved to the beat of the rock music that was playing in the bar. “Wanna grab another drink here or do you want to hit a different bar?”

  “I don’t mind.” She shrugged, looking up at me with a small smile. “What do you want to do?” she asked me softly. I stared down at her face and at her lips again and pulled her towards me roughly, enjoying the feel of her breasts against my chest.

  “I want to do whatever you want me to do,” I said, leaning down so that my lips were a mere centimeter from hers. My hands fell to her ass and I squeezed her butt-cheeks as I brought her closer towards me. She gasped then, her lips falling open as her eyes widened and I pressed my lips down against hers for a brief second before alarm bells started going off in my head. What was I doing? I was making a huge mistake and I could see from Sally’s eyes that she was feeling confused as well. I pulled back from her abruptly and let go of her. She stumbled back slightly, looking confused, and I started laughing to lighten the mood
. “Gotcha.” I grinned at her. “Let’s go find a cab. I think I need to go home and sleep.” I looked at my watch. “I have to get up early tomorrow.”

  “Oh, okay.” She looked at me with more confusion and maybe a hint of disappointment. I knew I wasn’t making sense to her and I knew I was being slightly rude, but I didn’t know what else to do. I was too drunk to make smart decisions and Sally wasn’t the girl to be making bad decisions with tonight.

  “Come.” I grabbed her hand. “Let’s go,” I said and pulled her towards the entrance. “I promise I will get you home safely.”

  “Thanks,” she said softly. “I appreciate it.” Her voice trailed off as we pushed past the crowds of people and I could feel my body burning up as we exited the bar.

  Chapter 5

  Sally

  “So is Mila here yet?” I looked around the living room and gave Cody a questioning look. It was 9 a.m. and I’d just arrived at his house according to the plan that Mila and I had come up with. I felt like a bit of a fool and I was really hoping that my acting job was going to work out well. Especially after our near kiss from a few nights ago. I didn’t want him figuring out that I wanted him any way that I could have him.

  “Nope, not yet.” He shook his head and yawned, stretching his arms up, and I tried not to stare at his naked chest.

  “I guess she and TJ are running behind?” I said again, pretending like I didn’t know that they weren’t even going to show up. I felt my face warming up as I stood there lying my ass off. Who knew that this was going to be so hard?

  “Yeah, you know Mila.” He nodded and then pointed towards the couch. “You can sit down, if you want.”

  “Thanks.” I nodded and made my way to the couch and sat. He walked over to me and plopped down next to me.

  “Sorry, I should have showered already.” He grinned at me as he ran his hands through his hair. “I had a late night last night.”