Say You Love Me

by J. S. Cooper

  “Oh?” I smiled at him uncertainly; not really wanting to know what he’d been doing the previous evening. Though it struck me that he’d slept the night in his apartment and it didn’t appear as if there was anyone else here, so that most likely meant that he hadn’t hooked up with anyone. Unless, of course, he’d gone back to their place and then left early in the morning. Or unless he’d hooked up while out, or…I forced myself to stop thinking of the possibilities. Jealousy was not going to help me in this situation. Especially seeing as I didn’t even know if I had anything to be jealous about.

  “I got in late. Went to a concert with some friends and then we went gambling.” He grinned. “Too many free, cheap drinks.”

  “Where did you guys go gambling?” I asked curiously, happy that he’d been with guys. Or at least I assumed he’d been with guys.

  “If I told you, I’d have to kill you.” He winked at me and sat back. I looked at his smiling face and felt my heart expanding with love. Why did he have to be so handsome? Why did I react to his every smile as if it were made just for me?

  “An illegal gambling place?” I raised an eyebrow at him and he laughed and winked again.

  “Not saying.” He licked his lips and then ran his hands down his thighs. I found my eyes staring at his thick, muscular, tan thighs and I swallowed hard. Not only was he handsome, he was super fit, and I could feel my whole body tingling as I glanced at him. All he was wearing was a pair of navy blue boxers and I was having a hard time keeping my hands to myself. I just wanted to reach out and touch his legs or his chest. Just to see if they felt as magical as they looked. “Hey, you thirsty?” he asked me curiously. “You want a coffee, or tea or something?”

  “Uhm, maybe some water, please?” I smiled. I needed to text Mila and figure out what I should do next. My mind had gone to mush and I had already forgotten the plan. I mean, phase one was in effect. Cody thought that we were all meeting up to discuss the wedding. But Mila and TJ weren’t going to show up. This would give us time alone together. However, I felt like we’d already hit a snag in the plan. Cody was barely out of bed. I was barely coherent and I had no clue what I was going to say we should do once he realized Mila and TJ weren’t coming.

  “Sure.” He jumped up. “You hungry? You want anything to eat?”

  “I’m okay,” I said. I was way too nervous to eat, but then I groaned because I realized that I should have told him I was hungry because then maybe we could have gone out to eat somewhere.

  “Okay,” He nodded. “I’m not sure what I have in my kitchen so that’s probably a good thing.”

  “Why offer me a bite if you have no food?” I laughed at him.

  “I was trying to be polite.” He grinned back. “Come with me to the kitchen and then I’ll hop in the shower real quick.”

  “Okay.” I nodded, wanting to say that I could hop in with him and wash his back. But of course I didn’t. I wasn’t that forward. At least not with him. I’d lost all my confidence and mojo with him. I was so scared that I was going to mess something up or that he was going to reject me. But the hardest part, that part that made everything worse, was the not knowing. Not knowing if I even had a chance. Not knowing if he cared at all. Not knowing if he fancied me. I bit my lip for a second as doubt came crashing in. Did I really not know, though? Wouldn’t he have made a move if he were interested? I mean, generally that’s what guys did. I knew that. There were many Tom, Dick, and Harry’s who had tried to get my attention. Men I hadn’t been interested in. That was always the way. The ones you didn’t want, wanted you. I didn’t know what to think. I wanted him to want me. Yet, in my heart of hearts it felt like a pipe dream. All the articles said if a guy liked you then he would make a move.

  “Tap water okay?” he asked me as I followed him to the kitchen and he grabbed a glass from the cupboard. “I don’t have any bottled water.”

  “Tap is fine.” I nodded. “Is it filtered?”

  “I had a Brita once.” He shrugged. “I forgot to put it on the faucet.”

  “Oh, okay.”

  “It still tastes good though.”

  “It’s fine.” I smiled. “A little water won’t kill you.”

  “Maybe in South America or Africa.” He gave me a smile. “Cholera and dysentery and all that jazz. Yellow fever.”

  “Uhm, yeah.” I took the glass from him and smiled. “Do you get yellow fever from water?” I asked him curiously. “I’m not a doctor or a medical person or anything, but didn’t know that yellow fever was from water.”

  “To be honest, I have no clue.” He shrugged, his eyes crinkling as he looked at me. “Call Mila, will ya? And I’ll head in the shower now.”

  “Okies.” I nodded and my stomach dropped as he headed out of the kitchen. What was I going to call Mila and say, and what was I going to say to him when he got out of the shower? This really didn’t seem to be going well. I wasn’t feeling any interest from Cody and in fact, I was feeling less than no interest. I was almost feeling disinterest. I pursed my lips and tried to ignore the panicky and upset feeling that was swelling through me. I felt like a loser and I didn’t understand why. What was it about me that he didn’t like? Why did he seem to hook up with so many different women, but I meant nothing to him? My heart thudded as my brain answered, “he’s not interested in you.” I held on to my glass of water and walked back to the living room and sat down. I reached for the remote control and turned the TV on to try and distract myself from my thoughts. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and responded to Mila’s text.

  “How’s it going?”

  “Not good. I’m going to leave. He’s not interested.”

  “Sally, you’re not going anywhere. This is only phase one of the operation.”

  “The operation is doomed to fail.”

  “Shh.”

  “Shh what? It’s true. He’s not interested.”

  “What happened? Why do you think it’s going to fail?”

  “Hello! He’s just not interested, Mila.”

  “Right now, you’re just trying to be his best friend.”

  “Dude, we’re barely friends. I’m sure he doesn’t want to be my best friend.”

  “Sally. Come on, we talked about this.”

  “Eh, I think I’m over it. I don’t think I can do this.”

  “You haven’t done anything yet.”

  “I don’t think it’s going to work.”

  “It’s worth a try.”

  “Is it really?” I spoke out loud as I typed. Was this really a good idea? It sounded fun and like some cute rom-com movie I’d watch on TV, but did life ever go like rom-com movies? Not really. I didn’t know anyone who was in a relationship after going through some crazy-ass schemes. I mean, even Mila’s relationship wasn’t exactly the same. She knew that TJ was interested in her from the beginning of their fake relationship, even if just for sex. She knew, at least, that he desired her and wanted her. Cody didn’t even look at me as if he wanted me. He didn’t care about me, period.

  “Sally, shall I call you?”

  “No,” I said and then typed. “I’ll call you later.” I put my phone back in my pocket and then leaned back into the couch and looked around the living room. Cody had no photos anywhere, which was a little surprising to me. He had four big posters on his wall depicting four different movies: The Godfather, Taxi Driver, Rocky and Fight Club. Everything about the room reminded me that he was a bachelor. Which should have made me happy, I suppose. The fact that he was still single, but I wasn’t sure that that made me feel any better. He was single and still not interested. It might have been easier for me if he were in a relationship. If he were seeing someone, I would just automatically back off. I’d be able to move on from the crush, and my feelings. Or at least that was what I told myself.

  “So any news?” Cody suddenly appeared in the doorway, in just a towel, with his hair and body still wet.

  “No.” I shook my head and swallowed hard. “Mila says they might not be able to m
ake it after all.”

  “Oh, okay.” He rolled his eyes. “Sounds like Mila.”

  “Yeah.” I laughed, unsure what to say next.

  “You sure you’re not hungry? Wanna go and grab some breakfast?” He tilted his head to the side and looked at me. “I was thinking of going for pancakes.”

  “I could always go for pancakes.” I smiled, things starting to look up. “Especially if they have blueberries and chocolate chips.”

  “Gross.” He laughed.

  “That’s not gross.” I shook my head, just staring at his chest and a drop of water that was rolling from his pecks down to his stomach.

  “Yeah, it is.” He grinned and stretched and my eyes widened as his towel slipped slightly. Shit, what if his towel fell off? Whoa, that would be amazing. Awkward, but amazing. “You okay?” he said and he stepped closer to me.

  “Yeah, why?” I asked softly as he stopped right in front of me.

  “You have a funny look on your face,” he said as he looked down at me, his eyes glittering.

  “What do you mean funny?” I asked and wondered if he knew that I was staring at his magnificent body and drooling. Oh, my God, please don’t let him know that I’m staring at his chest and towel and hoping that I can see what’s beneath the towel.

  Chapter 6

  Cody

  I stood in front of Sally, her mouth slightly open, and I had the wickedest thoughts. I stared at her soft pink lips and all I wanted was to tell her that if she leaned forward, she could put her lips to work. I wanted to groan out loud as I stood there. I wasn’t even sure why I’d come over to the couch. Maybe it was the way she’d looked at me when I’d walked into the room. She’d been shocked I’d come straight from the shower. I had to admit I wanted to see her reaction, and then when I’d stretched and my towel had slipped, her eyes had widened and I’d almost laughed. She had definitely thought that the towel was going to drop and she was going to get a view. I wonder what she would have done? I shook my head slightly. I shouldn’t be thinking these thoughts. It was improper. She was Mila’s best friend and I’d known her for years. She wasn’t like other girls. I couldn’t just expect her to get on her knees and pleasure me and be okay with that.

  “Hello, earth to Cody?” She jumped up and tapped me on the shoulder. “You okay?” Her big brown eyes glanced into mine.

  “Yeah, why?” I could feel heat where she’d touched my skin, her fingers warm and smooth on my skin.

  “I asked you a question and you just spaced out.” She blinked at me. “So I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

  “I was just thinking about your horrible taste in breakfast foods.” I winked at her and she laughed. I grinned then, and reached over and brushed a piece of hair away from her eyes, unable to stop myself. “Sorry, you had hair in your eyes,” I said to her as she stared at my hands in a confused way. “I didn’t want you to get blinded.”

  “Thanks for thinking of me,” she said with a small smile and she took a step back. I thought about really trying to shock her, but then decided not to. Why play with fire? If there was only one woman in the world who was off-limits, that wasn’t so bad. I knew Mila would kill me if I messed around with Sally and then moved on. That would just be awkward for all of us. Plus, I knew Sally had had a crush on me when we were younger. I wasn’t sure if she did anymore, but I knew I wasn’t looking for anything serious. There would be nothing worse than us hooking up and then her expecting something that I wasn’t ever willing to give.

  “Any time.” I nodded and stepped back. “Okay, I’m going to go and change.”

  “Okay,” she said and sat back on the couch. I stared down at her for a few seconds, her eyes meeting mine innocently as she sat there. I studied her face for a few seconds and it suddenly hit me that she really was quite beautiful. My heart stopped for a second and I felt confused. What did I care if she was beautiful? There were many beautiful women in the world. Many beautiful women that it would be a lot less complicated to mess around with.

  “I’ll be sitting here, patiently waiting,” she said with another smile, a wider one this time.

  “Good,” I said with a nod and walked out of the room, wondering why all of a sudden I felt so pleased. I walked to my room and frowned as I opened my bedroom door. There was something about Sally that was starting to get to me and I really didn’t like that. Not at all.

  * * *

  “Chocolate chip and blueberry pancakes?” I laughed as Sally eagerly scarfed down her maple-syrup-covered pancakes. “I’ve seen everything now.”

  “Try some—they’re delicious.” She grinned at me through her bites.

  “I think I’m okay. I don’t need diabetes.”

  “Blueberries won’t give you diabetes.” Her eyes twinkled as she continued eating.

  “No, but the chocolate and syrup will.” I laughed as I dug into my spinach and feta cheese omelet. I took a bite of my whole wheat toast and watched as Sally made a face at my plate. I laughed as she licked her lips and her tongue darted out to get a drop of syrup that had run down her chin.

  “Delicious,” she said again, as she paused to take a sip of her coffee. I just stared at her as she drank, and then looked around the diner we were in. There were families all around us, little kids laughing with happiness, parents struggling to stay awake, waitresses bustling around hoping to make big tips, elderly couples enjoying each other’s company and the discounted meal, and while the feeling of being part of a more mainstream setting would have made me uncomfortable in most instances, at this moment I didn’t mind. I was happy. I was having fun. Being with Sally was easy. I wasn’t sure why I’d never really realized that before. In all our years of being friends, or rather, all the times she’d been best friends with Mila, I’d never really seen her as more than another annoying, yappy girl. Though sometimes I had appreciated her beauty and sexy ass.

  “So what exactly did you and Mila want to talk to me about?” I asked her as I remembered that this was meant to have been a joint breakfast—that Mila had called me yesterday, urging me to meet her and Sally for breakfast because they wanted to talk.

  “It was really Mila that wanted some advice from you,” Sally said with a wary smile, her eyes looking like a deer in headlights as her face went slightly red.

  “Oh, God, she’s not having problems with TJ already, is she?” I groaned and shook my head. “I’m not sure what she wants me to do.”

  “I don’t think she’s having problems with TJ.” Sally smiled and shook her head. “You’ll have to ask her next time you see her.”

  “Yeah,” I agreed. “Though it wasn’t nice of her to stand you up as well. You showed up at my place pretty early.”

  “Yeah, she should have let me know.” Sally nodded and looked down. I noticed that her tongue was licking her lips again and I wondered what they tasted like most right now: chocolate, blueberries, syrup—or a mix of all three.

  “Though I suppose a free breakfast doesn’t hurt.”

  “Free?”

  “Yeah, it’s on me.” I winked at her. “Does that get me any rewards?”

  “Rewards?” She looked at me curiously.

  “Rewards, points, treats?” I grinned at her, not sure why I was flirting with her, but not wanting to stop.

  “Why would you get a reward?”

  “Because you want to give me one?”

  “Ha-ha, I want to give you a reward?” She glanced up at me under veiled eyelashes. “What makes you think that?”

  “The way you’re licking your lips and staring at the pancakes so lovingly. I think I’ve taken you to fantasyland.” I winked at her.

  “Fantasyland?” She cocked her head and laughed. “With some pancakes?”

  “I think I’ve given you a food orgasm, at least.” I stared into her eyes. “Right?”

  “A food orgasm?” she said, her face turning slightly red. “Really?”

  “Yeah. Though I suppose a real orgasm would have been nicer.” My voice dropped
as I stared at her, wanting to see how she’d react, knowing I was close to crossing a line. A line that was almost invisible.

  “Uhm…” She looked away from me and I felt a knot turning in my stomach.

  “Too far?” I asked her a bit too loudly, but wanting her to know I was joking, even if I was only half-joking. I was confusing even myself at this point.

  “Yes, too far.” She laughed, her eyes looking back up at me, a light of some emotion I didn’t really recognize reflected in her irises.

  “You’re used to it, though. With me.” I laughed and reached over. “Let me try these awesome pancakes before you scarf them all down.”

  “You want to try them?” She looked surprised. “After all that smack talk?”

  “Hey, I’m the king of smack talk.” I laughed and grabbed her fork and pressed down into the pancake and then took a large bite. It was overly sweet, though the pancake was of a good texture. The blueberries melted in my mouth along with the chocolate and I could feel an immediate sugar rush going to my head. Sally was looking at me expectantly, wondering how I was going to react to her meal. I was about to make a joke and tell her it was gross and overly sweet and a sure race to diabetes, but something stopped me. “Not bad.” I chewed and swallowed and gave her a smile. “I guess I know why you’re so sweet,” I said and gave her another small wink.

  “I told you they weren’t that bad.” She smiled back at me happily, her face alight and glowing as she stared at me. “Now give me my fork back. You can’t finish them.”

  “Darn.” I laughed. “I wanted to eat about ten more bites.”

  “Oh, Cody.” She burst out laughing. “You don’t even like them.”

  “What are you talking about?” I asked her questioningly.

  “You don’t like sweet stuff.” She giggled. “You forget I know you well.”

  “I don’t mind sweet stuff.”

  “You much prefer savory to sweet.” She shook her head. “And I saw your face when you took a bite just now, you winced for a second. And then you touched your forehead as if the sugar had run there immediately.”