Tools of Ignorance: Lisa's Story

by Barbara L. Clanton

  “What? What happened?” Sam’s eyes were wide with fear.

  Lisa didn’t have a chance to answer because Sam’s face lit with understanding. She leaned close and whispered, “You told me that hand was okay.”

  Lisa took a couple of deep breaths as the pain subsided. She shrugged.

  “Let me see,” Sam demanded.

  Lisa knew she had no choice. She laid her hand in Sam’s.

  “Oh, my God, Lisa.” She lowered her voice. “This bruise is gross. Look how swollen this is. You shouldn’t be playing with your hand like this.” She rubbed the bruise with a feather-light tough as if trying to see how bad the injury was.

  The pain was so intense that Lisa pulled her hand back. “It’s fine.”

  “It’s not fine,” Sam sighed, “but I know I won’t be able to convince you not to play.”

  Lisa shook her head. “Nope.”

  The Brookhaven team ran onto the field, and Lisa was glad they had something else to focus on. She watched Tara warm up at shortstop. So pretty. So athletic. So— She sighed in mid-thought. Watching Tara was dangerous territory. She looked for her mother instead.

  Her mother stood with William on the side of the concession stand away from other people. She was shaking her head emphatically, and Lisa could tell she was pissed. Lisa almost laughed when she noticed William drop his gaze as he got scolded. He was trying to get a word in, but her mother wouldn’t let him. She wagged a finger in his face, spun on her heels, and marched back toward the bleachers.

  Lisa could only imagine what her mother had said to him. She probably reamed him out for showing up at the game. Lisa still hadn’t decided if she wanted to meet him or not.

  “Hey, Sam?” Lisa turned to look at Sam.

  “Hmm?”

  “My bd.” She lifted her head and pointed her chin toward William.

  Sam looked where she pointed and took a quick breath. Her eyes grew wide, and she nodded her head slowly as if to say she could tell that he was her biological father.

  “Really?” Lisa asked.

  Sam nodded again.

  Lisa sighed and decided not to think about her bio dad at the moment. She took another bite of her sandwich.

  Tara’s team got the Arsdale team out one-two-three in the top of the first, and it was Brookhaven’s turn to bat.

  Sam pointed to the dugout closest to them. “I don’t like that team.”

  “Brookhaven?”

  “Yeah.” Sam made a sour face. “I hope Arsdale wins.”

  “I just want to play whoever we can beat.” Secretly Lisa prayed that would be the Arsdale team because facing Tara was the last thing she wanted to do, especially in front of Sam.

  Sam chuckled. “Yeah, that’s probably a better plan.”

  Tara stepped into the on-deck circle right in front of them. Lisa cursed the fact that her family decided to sit so close to the field. She looked at her feet trying not to be seen. She felt Tara’s gaze on her.

  “Hey, Lisa,” Tara called.

  Lisa groaned. She had to look up. She had no choice.

  “Is that my replacement?” Tara pointed at Sam with her bat.

  Lisa closed her eyes mortified. Geez, Tara, tell the whole friggin’ world, why don’t you? She pursed her lips together in anger and glared at Tara without saying a word.

  Tara laughed. “Thought so.” She took another practice swing and walked toward the plate.

  Lisa felt her cheeks turn blazing hot. She turned toward Sam.

  “You know her?”

  Lisa nodded slowly, but couldn’t find any words.

  Someone on the Brookhaven team yelled, “C’mon, Tara. Get a hit.”

  Lynnie leaned over Sam and said, “That’s Tara? She’s pretty, but I like Sam way better.” She looked up at Sam with admiration.

  Me, too, Lisa thought, but how the hell do you know who Tara is?

  Sam smiled at Lynnie, but then glared back at Lisa. “Um, I think we need to talk.”

  Lisa nodded and smiled at her mother who had just come back from her talk with William. “Mom, is it okay if Sam and I go for a walk?”

  Her mother sat down. “Go ahead. I’ve got the girls.”

  Lisa and Sam made their way off the bleachers in silence. They headed toward the concession stand, but then Lisa spotted William.

  “Uh, let’s go the other way.” She nodded her head toward William.

  “Oh, yeah. Your bd.”

  They turned around and headed toward a maintenance shed on the far side of the right field fence. They walked behind the shed out of sight.

  Sam confronted Lisa. “Were you ever going to tell me?”

  “Yes.”

  “I mean, who is she? Is that your ex-girlfriend Tara? The one you told me about? The one you said you had no more contact with?”

  Lisa took a deep breath and started to explain, but Sam interrupted. “You were the one who said we needed to be honest with each other, and here’s your ex-girlfriend parading around right in front of us, and I don’t even know it.”

  “I was going to tell you.”

  “When?” Sam put her hands up in the air. “Or were you, like, hoping I’d never find out?”

  “I wanted to wait until after the finals. That way it wouldn’t be so complicated.”

  Sam’s eyes held a certain sadness that tore at Lisa’s heart.

  Lisa stepped closer. “I’m sorry you had to find out this way. Honestly, I didn’t know her team had made the tournament.” She wanted to brush a stray lock of Sam’s hair off her face, but checked herself just in case anyone could see them.

  “Hell, Lisa. Even Lynnie knew who Tara was.” Sam’s cheeks turned a dark red from anger or maybe it was embarrassment, Lisa wasn’t sure which.

  “Look, I have no idea how Lynnie knows about her. Maybe she answered the phone when Tara called me or something.”

  Sam seemed lost in thought, but then said, “Tara’s kind of hot, you know, and that’s got me more than a little annoyed.”

  “Annoyed?” Lisa was confused.

  “Yeah, I always pictured your first girlfriend as some ugly duckling.”

  “Why?”

  “To make myself feel better.”

  Lisa laughed.

  “Baby,” Sam said, “I know she broke up with you, but are you…”

  “What?”

  Sam looked Lisa in the eye. “Are you still in love with her?”

  Lisa looked at the ground trying to extinguish the small flame flickering for Tara inside her chest. “No, I’m not in love with her.”

  “You hesitated.”

  “I’m in shock that we’re having this conversation. Sam, I…”

  “What?”

  Lisa couldn’t believe what she was about to say, but she mustered up the courage. “Sam,” she grabbed both of Sam’s hands with hers not caring who saw them, “I love you. I’ve loved you since that first time we went to the bowling alley. Even before you kissed me, I knew I was in love with you.” Her chest tightened. “I…I don’t love Tara anymore,” she stammered. “You have to believe me.”

  Sam’s expression softened. She leaned in closer and whispered, “I love you, too.” She squeezed Lisa’s hands, but Lisa ignored the shooting pain. “I have since forever. I’m sorry I got jealous.”

  Lisa’s heart swelled. “I want to kiss you so bad right now.”

  Sam bit her lip. “I’ve been thinking the same thing all day.”

  Lisa sighed. “We can’t risk it.” She let go of Sam’s hands.

  “I know.” I wish I could hold your hand, though. I wish people weren’t so…”

  “What?”

  “I don’t know. Judgmental? Ignorant? Stupid?”

  Lisa laughed. “All of the above I think. We could…” she trailed off and waggled her eyebrows.

  “We could what?”

  “Walk back holding hands.”

  “Uh, that would be no. Your entire family would have a collective heart attack, and your teammates don’
t need that distraction right now.”

  “You’re right.” Lisa stuck out her lower lip. “But the more people see two girls holding hands, the more they’ll get used to it, eh?”

  “Yeah, I guess,” Sam shrugged, “but I’m not up for it today. Come on. Let’s get you back to your family.”

  They went back to the bleachers and watched Tara’s Brookhaven team run up the score against Arsdale High School. At the start of the fifth inning, Coach Spears motioned for the Clarksonville players to come down off the bleachers to get ready for their game.

  Lisa stood up. “Looks like we’ll be playing Brookhaven.” She looked at Sam. “Wish me luck.”

  Sam gently touched Lisa’s bruised hand. “Be careful.”

  Lisa smiled. “I will.” She mouthed, “I love you.”

  “Same,” Sam said.

  Her family wished her good luck, and she headed toward her teammates gathering behind the Arsdale dugout.

  Lisa wondered how in the world her little apple picking team from the North Country would ever survive against Tara’s cocky hoodlums from Long Island.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Brookhaven Hoodlums

  LISA PICKED UP the ball bag after the short pre-game warm up.

  “Bring it in, girls,” Coach Spears called to the team. The Cougars ran off the field and gathered around her. “There isn’t anything more to be said. Just do the things that got us here. Stay alert. No mental mistakes.” She stepped back from the group and put her hand on Marlee’s shoulder. “Oh, and girls? Let’s win the last.” She headed back to the Cougars’ dugout.

  Jeri put her hand in the middle of the circle of players. “Win the last on three. One, two, three.”

  “Win the last!” the team yelled and ran back to the dugout.

  “Captains?” The umpire gestured at the Cougars’ dugout with her facemask.

  “You’re on, you guys,” Lisa said to Marlee and Jeri. “Pick tails,” she called after them.

  Marlee and Jeri headed toward home plate, and Lisa wasn’t surprised when Tara walked toward the plate as the captain for her team. Lisa plopped on the bench with her mask, mitt, and chest protector draped over her lap waiting for the coin toss to determine home team. If they won the toss, then she’d have to scurry and put on her gear since they’d be on the field first. She leaned forward to listen.

  The umpire went over the ground rules and then reminded them about good sportsmanship. She asked Tara to call the flip since her team had traveled farther to get to Binghamton.

  “Heads,” Tara said after the umpire flipped the coin in the air.

  The three captains and the umpire bent their heads toward the ground. “Tails,” the umpire announced.

  Lisa put on her chest protector.

  “Cougars,” the umpire looked at Jeri, “I assume you wish to be home team?”

  Jeri nodded.

  “Okay, then. Home team, take the field when you’re ready.”

  Jeri and Marlee ran back to the dugout. “Home team, guys.”

  “Whoo hoo,” Julie and a few of the other girls hooted.

  Lisa grabbed her mitt and mask. She was headed toward home plate when Tara yelled toward her, “Good thing you won the toss, Cougars, because that’s all you mofo’s are winning this afternoon.” Her Brookhaven teammates laughed.

  The first Brookhaven batter stepped into the batter’s box. Lisa squatted behind the plate and signaled for a fastball. Just as Marlee got ready to throw her first pitch, Tara yelled from the on-deck circle, “She ain’t got nothin’, Brenda. Nothin’.”

  Marlee’s first pitch smacked into her glove for strike one. Nothing, eh? Lisa tossed the ball back to Marlee. Two pitches later, the batter was out on strikes.

  Tara stepped into the box. “How ya been, apple picker?”

  Lisa ignored her and signaled Marlee for a fastball on the inside corner. Her plan was to brush Tara off the plate for the first few pitches and then have Marlee sneak a change-up on the outside corner.

  “Ball,” the umpire said.

  “Inside, Lisa?” Tara said. “C’mon, that’s my favorite spot.”

  Lisa called for another inside pitch. Tara ripped it foul down the left field line.

  “Told ya.”

  Tara fouled off the next inside pitch to bring the count up to 1-2. “Nice little blondie you got there, Lisa. You didn’t take long to replace me, did you?”

  Lisa remained mute and set up on the outside corner of the plate. She signaled Marlee for a change-up. Tara must have been expecting it, though, because she smacked the ball to the right-center field gap in between Jeri and Paula. Lisa pounded her mitt on her thigh as she watched them run after the ball. Jeri fielded the ball just before it hit the fence, turned, and fired it to Johnna on second base. Tara slid.

  “Safe.” The umpire in the field threw his arms out to the side.

  “Dammit,” Lisa mumbled. She knew from camp that Tara was aggressive on the bases and would try to steal third the first chance she got. Lisa flexed her throwing hand. It still felt tight from the first game. Maybe she should have put some ice on it in between games, but she didn’t want Coach Spears or anybody else to know her hand still hurt.

  “Kym, be ready,” Lisa called down to alert the Cougar third baseman of a possible steal.

  Kym nodded and took a microstep closer to third base.

  Lisa took a deep breath and got ready for the third Brookhaven batter. As expected, Tara took off on the pitch. The batter swung late, but Lisa caught the pitch, moved the batter out of the way with her gloved hand, and rifled the ball to Kym waiting on third. Tara slid under Kym’s tag.

  “Safe!” the umpire in the field yelled.

  “Yes!” Tara smacked the hard dirt.

  Lisa cursed under her breath.

  Coach Spears stormed the home plate umpire. “Interference, Blue.” She pointed to the Brookhaven batter.

  The umpire shook her head.

  “Oh, c’mon, Blue. Get help.” Coach Spears pointed to the other umpire.

  The home plate umpire pointed to the umpire in the field. He threw his arms out in a safe gesture.

  The fans in the stands groaned their disapproval at the call.

  “Oh, c’mon,” Coach Spears growled. She headed back toward the dugout. “You owe us one, Blue,” she muttered and slammed the dugout gate shut.

  Lisa took a deep breath and called to her teammates, “C’mon, Cougars. One down. Hold the runner. Get the out.”

  The Brookhaven batter stepped back into the box and hit a soft grounder to Johnna at shortstop. Lisa threw her mask off in case there was a play at the plate. Johnna looked Tara back and rifled the ball to Julie at first base. Tara took off for home on the throw.

  “Out at first,” the umpire yelled.

  “Home, home, home,” Lisa yelled. Julie threw the ball home. Lisa caught it and threw her body in front of the plate. Tara lowered her shoulder and barreled into Lisa. Lisa, ready for the impact, took the shoulder in the chest protector and toppled backward. Tara landed on top of her with a grunt. Lisa held on to the ball with both hands.

  “Safe!” The home plate umpire yelled and threw her hands out to her sides.

  “What?” Lisa pushed Tara off her and scrambled up to her knees. Tara leaped to her feet, and, somehow, whether accidentally or on purpose, kicked Lisa with infield dirt. Lisa brushed it away with her free hand and said, “I was laying on the plate, Blue! How is she safe?”

  The umpire didn’t respond, so Lisa scrambled to her feet and faced the umpire. “You gotta be kidding me.” She pointed to plate again. “I had her, Blue. I had her.”

  By that time, Coach Spears took up the argument and nudged Lisa away with her arm. Coach Spears complained that Tara didn’t slide, but the umpire explained that Lisa was blocking the plate, and the runner had no choice.

  Marlee pulled Lisa away from the argument and dragged her toward the pitcher’s circle. “Give me the ball, Lisa.” Marlee held out her glove.


  Lisa slammed the ball into Marlee’s glove and let herself be led away from home plate. “She was so out.” Lisa kicked the dirt.

  “I know, but there’s nothing we can do about it now. Let’s just get this next batter out.”

  “Okay.” Lisa sighed.

  “Is your hand okay?”

  Lisa realized she had taken her mitt off and was massaging the side of her throwing hand. She threw her mitt back on. “Yeah. Never better.” She stormed back behind the plate.

  Thankfully the next batter grounded out to Corrie at second base to end the inning.

  Lisa plopped on the bench and took off her chest protector. Sarah snuck over and handed her an ice pack. “Thanks, Sarah.”

  “Is it okay?”

  “Yeah, yeah.” Lisa lied. “T—” She’d started to say Tara’s name, but thought better of it. “That girl smashed right into it at home plate, but I’m okay.”

  Sarah frowned as if she didn’t believe her.

  “It’s okay, really. Don’t worry. You won’t have to suit up. I promise.”

  Lisa bit down a smile at the look of relief on Sarah’s face.

  Marlee turned to Lisa. “Jeri walked.”

  “Cool.” Lisa took off her shin guards and stood up. With luck she’d get up to bat that inning. She leaned against the dugout fence next to Marlee.

  Julie was up. She swung hard and ripped the pitch foul inches outside the left field line. The third baseman backed up to normal depth.

  “Oh, man,” Marlee said, “they’re falling for it.”

  “C’mon, Julie,” Lisa called out. “Smack another one, just like that.” Lisa knew better, though. They wanted the Brookhaven team to think Julie was hitting away, but Coach had put the bunt sign on for the second pitch.

  Julie squared around at the last second and pushed the bunt up the third base line. The third baseman looked startled, but sprinted in to grab the ball. She threw it to first base a split-second ahead of Julie.

  “Out,” the umpire said.

  Julie was out, but Jeri stood safely on second base.

  Lisa grabbed her helmet and headed to the on-deck circle. She bumped fists with Julie as she ran back to the dugout. “Nice sacrifice, White Girl.”

  Julie smiled. “Just hit her in, Brown Girl.”