Tools of Ignorance: Lisa's Story

by Barbara L. Clanton

  Lisa headed toward the dugout, but stopped dead in her tracks when a voice from her past said, “Holy crap. If it isn’t my favorite apple picker from the North Country.”

  Lisa turned toward the sound and her heart jumped. She hadn’t seen Tara in almost a year. She swallowed hard when she locked eyes with the baby browns on the other side of the fence. The tiny flame that still burned for Tara flared inside her heart.

  “Hey, Tara,” Lisa said simply. Memories of Tara at summer softball camp came rushing back. Their kiss, second base, almost third. She felt her body flush all over.

  “Who knew a bunch of apple pickers could make the final four.”

  Lisa cleared her throat. “I see you and your hoodlums made it, too.”

  Tara smiled and then looked her up and down. She leaned against the fence. “You’re lookin’ good. Real good. Maybe I was a little hasty breaking up with you.”

  “Shhh.” Lisa looked around to see if anybody was within earshot. “Somebody’ll hear you.”

  “Oh, you always were a worry wart.” She whispered, “Remember how scared you got that someone would walk in on us in my dorm room?”

  Lisa flushed at the memory. “Uh, listen, I gotta get ready for the game. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

  “Count on it, apple picker. Count on it.”

  Lisa headed back to the dugout, but felt Tara watching her every step. She plopped down on the bench and took a deep breath.

  Marlee sat next to her and whispered, “That’s Tara?”

  Lisa nodded and put her face in her hands.

  “Oh, man, Lisa. She’s friggin’ hot.”

  “Shhh,” she sat up and looked around. “At least Sam’s not here yet, thank God.”

  “Man, oh, man,” Marlee said. “What’s with you and all the hot girlfriends? You’re a chick magnet.”

  Lisa grinned and shrugged. She didn’t want to think about it at the moment. She had a game to get psyched for.

  The beefy umpire looked toward the Cougars’ dugout. “Home team, take the field.” He pointed toward the field.

  Lisa grabbed her catcher’s mask and helmet and ran back behind the plate. Marlee took her five warm up pitches, and the first batter of the New York State Class C semi-final game stepped into the batter’s box.

  Lisa still felt Tara’s gaze on her, so she took a deep breath to try and clear her head. She couldn’t let Tara or William or anything else interfere with the game ahead. She squatted behind the plate and pounded her fist in her mitt and called for Marlee to throw an outside fastball at the knees.

  “Strike!” The umpire yelled.

  “Nice one, Marlee.” Lisa threw the ball back.

  Lisa called for another outside fastball, but the ball hung over the plate too much, and the batter smacked a single through the three-four hole into right field.

  Lisa pointed to Johnna at second base. “Get ready for the steal.”

  Johnna nodded and pounded her glove. On the first pitch, the runner took off for second base, and Lisa fired the ball toward second. Her adrenaline must have been on overload because her throw sailed clear into center field.

  “Dammit,” Lisa muttered under her breath when the runner ran safely to third.

  She wondered what William thought about her error. He was probably shaking his head. Tara was probably laughing her head off.

  Lisa took a deep breath and refocused on the next batter. Marlee got two quick strikes, and Lisa called for the change-up. The batter swung and missed for strike three, but the ball hit the heel of Lisa’s glove and bounced away. Since Lisa didn’t catch the third strike, the batter raced toward first base trying to make it there before Lisa could pick up the ball and throw her out. Lisa leaped up, snagged the ball, made sure the runner on third didn’t take off for home, and threw the ball to Julie covering first.

  Lisa knew instantly that her throw was wild. Julie lunged for the ball, but couldn’t get it. “Crap,” Lisa muttered under her breath as the ball skipped into right field. She watched helplessly as the runner from third base scored, and the batter, who should have been out on strikes, ran all the way to second base.

  Lisa kicked the dirt. “Get a freakin’ grip, Lisa,” she muttered to herself. She hoped Sam wasn’t there yet to see her second glorious error.

  Thankfully the Cougars managed to get out of the inning with only the one Central Leatherstocking run. Back in the dugout, Sarah brought ice to put on her already aching hand. So far, she had successfully hidden her black and blue hand from Coach Spears. Whenever Coach asked, she always said it was fine. Thanks goodness Sarah was good at slipping her ice without Coach knowing.

  The Cougars got up to bat in the bottom half of the inning, but Jeri and Julie made two quick outs. Johnna got hit by a pitch and was awarded first base. Lisa took a deep breath and stepped into the box. If she could hit a long one, maybe Johnna could score from first and make up for her two colossal errors.

  The first pitch was high, but Lisa swung anyway. She missed for strike one, and stepped out of the box.

  “C’mon, Lisa,” Coach Spears called from third base. “Swing at strikes, kiddo. Just strikes.”

  Lisa nodded and stepped back in the box. The next pitch came inside, and she swung hoping to pull it down the left field line. She couldn’t believe she missed that one, too. She took a deep breath and willed herself to hit the next one. The next pitch came in nice and fat. She pulled her bat back, swung with all her might, but stumbled off-balance when she missed the change-up for strike three.

  Lisa slammed her bat on the ground. She hated striking out. She looked into the stands as she slunk back to the dugout. Sam was sitting next to Lynnie. Her long blond hair fell deliciously in front of both shoulders and framed her tanned face and brilliant smile. Lisa couldn’t help the grin that took over her face, her strikeout instantly forgotten. Anybody who looked at her would know immediately that she was completely and totally gone in love.

  Tara laughed, and Lisa watched in horror as Tara turned to look straight at Sam. An evil smile crept up Tara’s face. Lisa slammed the dugout door open. Not only did she freakin’ strike out in front of everybody, but now Tara knew about Sam. She slammed herself down on the bench and strapped on a shin guard. Sarah helped with the other.

  Coach Spears squatted in front of her. “Kiddo, I don’t know what you’ve got on your mind right now, but you need to snap out of it, okay? Let it go. You are the rock of this team, so take a deep breath, and let it go.”

  “Yes, Coach.” Lisa stood up and put on her chest protector. “Sorry.” She hustled onto the field.

  Lisa took a deep breath, pounded her mitt, and squatted behind the plate. With new determination, she helped her team keep Central Leatherstocking High School from scoring in the top half of the second inning. She even ended the inning by snagging a runner trying to steal second base.

  Julie ran off the field behind her and clapped her on the back.

  “That runner got caught with her hand in the cookie jar. That’ll teach her to try to steal a base against Lisa Brown and her tools of ignorance.”

  Lisa bumped fists with her first baseman and purposely avoided looking into the stands. Her focus had to remain on the field. They didn’t make it this far only to lose in the semi-final game.

  Lisa finally remembered how to use her bat and smacked a double in the third inning and a single in the fifth. But even though the Cougars got several base runners over the next five innings, they didn’t score a single run and were still losing 0-1 when it was their turn to bat in the bottom of the seventh inning. If they didn’t score, they would lose and be out of the tournament. Their season would be over.

  Lisa tried not to let her misery show. She was the one who had committed the string of errors that allowed Central Leatherstocking’s lone run. Sarah tried to hand her another ice pack for her hand, but she waved it off. The pain in her hand didn’t matter at this point.

  Julie stepped into the box to lead off the inning. She swu
ng and the ball bounced deep into the hole between short and third. The shortstop fielded the ball cleanly and made a good throw, but Julie beat it out by a toenail.

  Lisa rattled the chain link fence. “Way to go, White Girl.” She grabbed her bat and helmet and walked to the on-deck circle.

  Johnna got up to bat next and successfully sacrificed Julie to second. Lisa was up. She took a deep breath and wouldn’t let herself think about making amends for her errors. Instead she pictured a smooth stroke that connected solidly with the pitch. With a 1-1 count, a hittable pitch came down the pike, and she swung, putting all of her five foot nine inches into it. Her efforts paid off as the ball towered over the center fielder’s head. She rounded first and saw the ball careen off the fence. She headed toward second. Coach Spears waved her on to third.

  “Down, down, down,” Coach Spears yelled.

  Lisa slid, and the third baseman put the tag on her hip. The umpire in the field threw both arms out to the side. “Safe.”

  “Yes.” Lisa leaped up and threw a fist in the air. Julie had scored from second base and the game was tied. She didn’t dare look into the stands, because she was the winning run and had to stay focused.

  “C’mon, Marlee,” Lisa called from third. “Just a little single. Nothing big, number three.”

  Marlee worked the count full. The Central Leatherstocking pitcher went into her motion and sent the pitch rocketing toward home plate. Marlee swung and made contact. Lisa leaped into the air when the ball landed in shallow right field for a hit. She sprinted all the way home to score the winning run.

  Lisa’s teammates burst out of the dugout and mobbed her at the plate. They left her standing dizzy to mob Marlee coming back from first base.

  Lisa tried not to smile too much when they walked the high five line with the Central Leatherstocking team. The Cougars headed back toward their dugout, and Lisa smiled. Sam was at the fence.

  “Great game, Lisa.” Sam’s blue-gray eyes glistened.

  “Thanks.” Lisa’s heart swelled. She wished she could take Sam somewhere and kiss her. “I’m so glad you made it.”

  Sam leaned closer and whispered, “Baby, I wouldn’t have missed it for anything.”

  Lisa was just about to whisper back when Tara walked by. “Lucky game, apple picker. Give us a minute to beat Arsdale, and we’ll see you in the finals.”

  Sam looked at Lisa with a puzzled expression. “That girl is kind of cocky. I hope you don’t have to play them.”

  Lisa nodded. “Me, too.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Never in a Million Trillion Years

  AFTER THE WIN against Central Leatherstocking in the New York State Class C semi-finals, the Clarksonville Cougars from the North Country Region advanced to the finals for the first time in school history. They would play whichever team won the next game. Lisa kept her mental fingers crossed that Arsdale would beat Tara’s Brookhaven team.

  Lisa grabbed her catcher’s gear and followed Julie out of the dugout.

  “There she is.” Julie pointed to Coach Spears’s roommate who was handing out Subway sandwiches.

  “I’m not really hungry,” Lisa said, “but I guess we need to eat before the finals.”

  “Eeee,” Julie gushed. “Can you believe we’re in the finals?”

  “Not really. This whole season has been crazy.”

  “No kidding.”

  They reached Coach Spears’s roommate. “Great job today, girls. Keep it up.” She handed each of them the subs they had ordered.

  Julie grinned. “Win the last, right?”

  Coach Spears’s roommate nodded with a smile.

  “Win the last.” Lisa knocked sandwiches with Julie.

  They headed toward the bleachers to find their families. Lisa looked around for William, but he was in line at the concession stand, and Tara, of course, was on the field getting ready for her game against Arsdale, so the coast was clear. She relaxed a little.

  A couple of black girls walked past them. They looked at Julie and said, “Hey.”

  Julie nodded back. “Hey.”

  Lisa waited until the girls were out of earshot and asked, “Do you know them?”

  Julie shook her head.

  “Why’d they say hello to you?”

  “It’s a black thing.”

  “Oh,” Lisa said, “like black solidarity or something?”

  “I guess. I’m not sure why we do it.” She laughed. “It’s not like it’s in the handbook or anything.”

  Lisa laughed.

  Julie looked back at the girls they had passed. “Actually, now that I think about it, they were kind of rude saying, ‘hey’ just to me and not to you.”

  “Guess I’m a little too white, eh, White Girl?”

  Julie laughed. “Probably, Brown Girl, but you know what? Just ‘cuz those girls were black doesn’t mean we’d even like each other. Color isn’t automatic when it comes to friends.” Julie bugged her eyes out at Lisa and grinned.

  Lisa grinned back. “Friend, I feel the same way, too.” She readjusted her softball bag on her shoulder, and they stepped off the path so they wouldn’t get run over by a Little League softball team scampering toward the concession stand.

  “Hey,” Julie said, “nobody’s the same, anyway, right? People are different in all kinds of ways, not just color.”

  “Yeah.” I hope you’ll accept the fact that I’m different when I finally get up the nerve to come out to you. “Being different makes us unique.”

  “Exactly, and you, Lisa, are definitely unique.”

  “Hey, what do you mean by that?”

  Julie looked at her wrist as if she were wearing a watch. “Gosh, would you look at the time?” She pointed to the top row of the bleachers. “There’s my mom and dad. I gotta go.”

  “Oh, way to get out of that one, White Girl.”

  Julie laughed. “I’ll see you later, Brown Girl.” She bounded up the bleachers.

  Lisa smiled when she saw Susie sitting with Marlee and Marlee’s mother near the top of the bleacher seats. She spotted her own family sitting with Sam on the bottom bleacher. Apparently, Sam and Susie were both sucking up to the future in-laws.

  She walked over to her family and wondered if gay people acknowledged each other the way Julie did with those two girls. Did gay people nod and say, “Hey,” when they passed each other in the mall? Not everybody had good gaydar, though. She’d have to ask Tara about it later.

  Whoa, Tara? Where the hell did that come from? Lisa shook her head and hoped she didn’t slip up in front of Sam. She desperately didn’t want Sam to know that Tara was there. Never in a million trillion years did she think that Sam and Tara would ever be in the same place at the same time.

  “Hi guys,” she said to her family when she reached them.

  “We’re very proud of you, Lisa Bear,” her father said.

  “Thanks, Papa.” She gave him a hug and then patted Lawrence Jr. on the head. She hugged Bridget who sat sandwiched between her father and mother for safe keeping.

  Her mother gave her a quick hug. “You played so well, honey.”

  “Well, I don’t know about that. I had a rocky start.”

  “But you worked it out,” Sam said with a smile. “Marlee pitched really well, too.”

  “Oh, geez, I know. She’s even got her screwball working today.”

  Lisa squished in between her mother and Sam. She looked past Sam and said, “Hi, Lynnie.”

  Lynnie waved. “I was cheering for you.”

  Lisa smiled. “I heard you. Thanks.” She smiled inside, because Lynnie used to complain about getting dragged to her softball games.

  Lisa opened her sandwich. She took a bite and realized she was starving. She took another bite before she had even finished the first.

  “Slow down, honey,” her mother scolded.

  “Sorry,” Lisa said with her mouth full. “I’m famished.”

  Lisa followed her mother’s gaze toward William where he stood in the c
oncession line. She said, “Larry, why don’t you go play soccer with Lawrence Jr.”

  Her father followed her gaze. “Ah, okay. We’ll see you later, girls.” He herded Lawrence Jr. away from the bleachers toward an open patch of grass near the parking lot.

  “Honey,” her mother turned toward Lisa, “can you watch the girls? I’ve got something to take care of.”

  “Okay, Mom. C’mere, Bridget, slide over next to me.”

  “‘Kay.” Bridget crawled in her lap.

  “Oh, okay.” Lisa handed her sandwich to Sam until Bridget got situated.

  “Weesa?”

  “Yes, Sweetpea?” Lisa took the sandwich back with one hand. She held Sam’s gaze for an extra long second before concentrating on her little sister.

  “Papa took me to the ‘session stand.” She pointed toward the concession stand.

  “Me, and Wynnie, and Wawrence got orange pop.”

  “Did Lawrence Jr. spill his pop all over the place?”

  “No.” Bridget giggled. “You’re siwee, Weesa.”

  “Oh, yeah? Let me ask Sam. Am I silly, Sam?”

  Lisa and Sam locked eyes over Bridget’s head. God, how she wished she could be alone with Sam and kiss her.

  Sam broke their gaze and winked at Bridget. “Lisa, you’re the silliest person I know.”

  Bridget giggled.

  Lynnie, who was sitting on the other side of Sam, laughed and said, “Lisa, you are kind of silly sometimes.”

  “Everybody’s picking on me today. I’m going to go sit on the other set of bleachers.”

  “No, you have to stay here so we can torture you some more. Right, girls?”

  “Yeah,” Lynnie and Bridget said with gusto.

  “I’m so insulted.” Lisa handed her sandwich to Sam and stood up holding Bridget tightly with her left arm, legs dangling.

  Sam reached up and grabbed Lisa’s right hand and started to pull her back down.

  “Yeeow,” Lisa cried and sat down with a thump. She clung tightly to her sister with her good hand and pulled the bad one close to her chest.