Somebody to Love: Sigh With Contentment, Scream With Frustration. At Time You Will Weep.

by Sheryl Browne

  ‘Don’t worry, I won’t,’ Matt assured him. ‘I’m taking her out for a pub lunch and then if she doesn’t put her feet up, you’ll just have to come around and handcuff her to the bed.’

  ‘Right.’ Mark stifled a laugh. ‘But don’t let on, we’ll need an element of surprise.’

  ‘Wilco,’ Matt said, then went quiet.

  Probably wondering how to ask what the hell was going on with him and his mother. ‘Matt, just so you know, I’m not sure where I stand with Donna,’ Mark offered. ‘But wherever it is, I intend to stay close. Be around, you know?’

  ‘Cool.’ Matt obviously approved. ‘So, assuming you’ll need a few reasons to be around, come to my birthday party Wednesday evening, why don’t you?’

  Blimey, definitely an approval. ‘Great. Cheers, Matt. Do I bring anything?’

  ‘A bottle, obviously. It’s my eighteenth. I’m a man. And some flowers. You know those things with petals and leaves?’ Matt dropped a subtle hint.

  ‘I’ll do my best,’ he promised. ‘What do you like, daffodils, roses?’

  ‘Ha, ha, careful you don’t cut yourself on your razor sharp wit,’ Matt retorted drolly. ‘Seriously,’ he went on, ‘bring your son, as well, if you want. If he, you know, can deal with crowds and stuff.’

  Mark went quiet now, choked, on two counts. Donna had obviously talked to him about Karl, which meant that Karl and he both had figured in her thoughts, and Matt, it seemed, wanted to try to include Karl in their lives.

  ‘Thanks, Matt. That’s more appreciated than you know. I’m not sure though, to be honest. His dog’s sick, and without Starbuck, Karl might not manage so well. Can I leave it open?’

  ‘No problem. Um, I don’t suppose you’ve heard anything?’

  ‘Christ, sorry.’ Mark slapped his hand against his forehead. ‘Yes, I have. Good news, I hope. I’m just off to check it out. Didn’t want to say anything before I knew for sure.’

  Mark noted the time, and realised he was going to have to get a move on. ‘Got to go, Matt. I’ll see you Wednesday, if not before. I’ll give Donna a ring later, but give her my regards, okay?’

  ‘Right, I’ll give her your love as well. Lata.’

  ‘Cheers.’ Mark rolled his eyes. ‘Oh, Matt, I almost forgot, Alicia’s number, do you have it?’

  ‘Obviously, but I’m not sure bringing her sister to the party is going to win Mum over.’

  ****

  Close to giving up, Mark finally spotted who he’d been scouring the park for.

  ‘Hey, Agnes, wait up!’ he called, as Agnes tottered towards the bandstand, a certain little friend at her side, who seemed to have developed more of a limp. Poor thing obviously had cut herself on the glass then.

  ‘Agnes?’ Mark set off across the grass after her. Then stopped — and sighed — and extracted his shoe from six inches of mud.

  Great. ‘Agnes!’ He skidded to a muddy stop as she lowered herself creakily to sit on the bandstand steps.

  ‘Hey, Agnes, how are you doing?’ Mark panted, hands on his thighs, trying to catch his breath. Uh-oh. He straightened up, backing off swiftly, as Agnes got back to her feet in a flash and advanced towards him wielding her ball bag. ‘Agnes, don’t,’ he warned. ‘If you do, I’m going to have to take you to the station.’

  ‘Over my dead body!’ Agnes marched forth, looking worryingly suffragette-ish. ‘You two-timing, sex maniac, you!’

  Mark took another step back. ‘Agnes, I’m not. I like women.’

  Agnes narrowed her eyes.

  ‘As in, I respect women, Agnes.’ Mark sighed, and didn’t bother looking down. At least now he had a matching pair of shoes, he supposed. ‘Agnes, if you take a swing with that thing, I’m going to have to handcuff you.’

  Agnes stopped, still eyeballing him menacingly.

  ‘It’s not mine, Agnes. The baby you and Donna overheard us talking about, it’s not mine. The girl I was with, she looks after my little boy. She’s married. A very respectable girl, with a very respectable husband, whose baby it is.’

  Agnes regarded him with squinty-eyed suspicion.

  ‘I was a bit taken aback when she told me, that’s all, because it’s going to leave me without someone to look after Karl, my boy, while I’m at work.’

  ‘The autistic little boy.’ Agnes lowered her bag. ‘The one whose dog needed to keep his ball.’

  ‘That would be him.’ Mark waited.

  ‘Well, why didn’t you say so?’ Agnes huffed and turned back to the bandstand.

  ‘That’s Donna’s baby, Agnes, you know that don’t you?’

  Agnes stopped and delved in her bag. ‘But, of course.’ She presented Sadie with a multi-coloured prickly ball. ‘Sadie wouldn’t be anyone else’s baby, would you, you clever little girl? We’ve been waiting for her, haven’t we, Sadie?’

  ‘Donna’s been waiting, too, Agnes,’ Mark pointed out gently. ‘For news Sadie was safe, you know?’

  ‘But of course she would be. I was going to ring her, but I don’t have a walkie-talkie, you see? Sadie did want to show me where her mummy lived, didn’t you, beautiful girl, hmm?’

  Agnes eased herself down on the steps next to the adoring three-legged dog, ferreted again in her bag and offered Sadie a treat. ‘But her little paws were so sore, we thought we ought to go and see that nice Mr Barnby at the vet’s first. Mummy can take you now though, can’t she, Sadie?’

  Sadie thumped her tail as Agnes had another little ferret in her bag.

  ‘She bit him, you know?’

  ‘She did?’ Mark’s mouth curved into a tolerant smile. ‘How do you know that then, Agnes?’

  Agnes looked at him as if he were a bit dense. ‘I would have thought that was perfectly obvious, dear boy.’ She turned her gaze to Sadie.

  Bloody hell. Mark pushed his cap back. Matthews had had a plaster on his hand. Nah. He glanced curiously at Sadie, who seemed to be rapt on the old lady’s every word. Not possible. Dogs communicated, that he had to concede, but…

  ‘So, are you going to make an honourable woman of her now you’re having her baby?’ Agnes asked puzzlingly.

  Mark scratched his head. ‘Er, I think I’ve missed something, Agnes.’

  ‘Well, you are taking Sadie back to her mummy, aren’t you?’

  ‘Ah…,’ Mark got the drift, ‘I thought I might, yes, if that’s all right with you?’

  ‘So, there you go?’ Agnes looked at him, looking mightily pleased. ‘You can ask her then, can’t you?’

  Mark looked at Agnes totally baffled.

  ‘I know you youngsters all have a get-what-you-can mentality nowadays, but you don’t have to have sex before marriage, young man!’ Agnes boomed.

  ‘Right.’ Mark cringed and quite wished he could disappear whole under the mud.

  ****

  ‘Half an hour,’ Mark promised Jody, feeling bad about keeping her waiting. ‘And thanks, Jody. I don’t mean to take advantage.’ Mark hung up and turned to Sadie in the passenger seat. ‘Agnes would probably beat me to death with her ball bag if I did, wouldn’t she, Sadie?’

  Christ, now he was talking to the animal. He needed to lie down. Mark ran his hand over his neck and started the engine. ‘Don’t suppose I could persuade you to wear your seatbelt, could I?’

  Sadie replied by way of a cheek-dragging lick, then slid comfortably down, head and one front leg hanging over the seat.

  ‘Thought not.’

  ****

  ‘You all right, mum?’ Matt asked, for the umpteenth time.

  ‘Yes.’ Donna sighed distractedly.

  ‘Bad idea, wasn’t it?’

  ‘No, not at all.’ Donna shook herself, and tried to look the tiniest bit grateful. ‘I wouldn’t be very hungry wherever we were, to be honest, Matt. But at least I’m out of the house.’ Which seemed so empty, even with Matt and Findus there.

  Donna eyed the food on her plate, knowing it was a terrible waste, but she really had no appetite. She chewed on her lip instead, wondering wheth
er to ring the dog rescue centre again.

  ‘Come on.’ Matt swigged back his Coke. ‘Let’s go and put those posters up. Someone somewhere must have seen her.’

  Donna nodded and smiled proper. How many almost-men would swap a paintball birthday event, arranged by fellow participant and hottie Sophie, for lunch with Mum and pay for it?

  She waited while Matt man-fully footed the bill, making sure to sprinkle ‘Mother’ liberally into the conversation, lest the bartender also being a hottie think he was taken, then waited again while he answered his mobile.

  ‘Matt’s phone,’ he said, followed by three words, consisting of right, right, and right.

  ‘Sounded scintillating,’ Donna commented, collecting her bag from the bar.

  Matt’s mouth twitched into a smile. ‘It was, very.’

  Hmm? Another hottie, possibly? Donna turned to the exit with a knowing smile, then quickly sidestepped as someone sprinted through it from the opposite side.

  ‘Whoops, sorry,’ the young woman said, turning to hold the door. ‘I’m being pursued by a good-looking policeman.’

  Donna’s ears pricked up. Her eyes grew wide. Then almost fell out of the sockets as a good-looking policeman did indeed bustle his way in, arms full of…

  ‘Sade!!!’ Donna screeched. ‘Oooh! My beautiful, beautiful babe!’ She cupped the dog’s face and blinked worriedly into her eyes. ‘Where’ve you been, sweetie, hmm? Who did it, hon? Mummy will get them.’

  Mark arched an eye as Donna proceeded to plant several sloppy wet kisses on Sadie’s head. ‘Come on, poppet,’ she said, as the dog wriggled, trying to bridge the gap between him and Donna, giving him a whack in the face with her tail as she did.

  ‘Here, Sade.’ Matt stepped in, and, between them, they managed to get Sadie safely down on all-threes on the pub floor.

  ‘Oh, babe,’ Donna crouched and cooed some more, ‘I love you, you know? I really do.’

  ‘I think you may have competition,’ Matt observed.

  ‘Yeah.’ Mark smiled half-heartedly and glanced down at his mud-spattered uniform, now also covered in dog hair.

  He plucked idly at one hair amongst many, then smiled, rather more enthusiastically, as Donna flung her arms around his neck and parted with another sloppy wet kiss.

  ‘You got a brownie point though,’ Matt imparted knowledgeably.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  ‘How’s things?’ Mark asked Jody, finally coming though his front door.

  ‘Okay. They’re watching Fireman Sam to the Rescue.’ Jody came downstairs, nodding towards the lounge, where Karl was watching his DVD. From the sofa, unusually, Mark noticed when he poked his head in.

  ‘He’ll have moved his whole bedroom down soon,’ Jody said, behind him.

  Mark smiled, not quite able to believe that Karl had bought down his duvet set plus pillow, which he’d placed on his lap, Starbuck’s head nestled thereon.

  He realised that Karl might simply be replaying previous events, once told Starbuck needed rest, rest meaning sleep, sleep meaning duvets and pillows. The odd thing was, though, Karl seemed to be comforting the dog, which must mean he’d realised Starbuck needed comforting. Had Karl actually thought that through?

  ‘He’s looking after him,’ Jody said, as if reading Mark’s mind.

  Mark glanced at her in a maybe sort of way

  ‘Really, he is,’ Jody assured him, turning away to collect her coat from the stair rail. ‘He told me. He said “Karl is staying next to Starbuck because it makes Starbuck feel less frightened”.’

  Mark stared at her. ‘Jesus.’ He shook his head, astonished.

  That wasn’t repetition word-for-word. No way. He’d turned it around. Starbuck was staying next to Karl because it made Karl less frightened, Mark had told him when they’d first walked Starbuck out in public. He was damn well thinking it through. ‘Yesss! Bloody good,’ he said aloud.

  ‘You look like a kid at Christmas.’ Jody laughed, tugging on her coat as she walked to the door.

  ‘Remind me to leave Santa a mince pie this year.’ Mark smiled, feeling as if all his Christmases had come at once.

  ‘There is a bit of a downside.’ Jody glanced at him worriedly. ‘Because Starbuck’s not eating…’

  ‘Karl’s not.’ Mark got the gist. ‘Right. Okay.’ He nodded, knowing he’d just have to deal with it. ‘I’ll think of something. Thanks, Jody.’

  ‘No problem.’ Jody smiled, opened the door and waved at her husband waiting in the car. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’

  ‘No, I mean thanks, Jody. It’s a small word, I know, but I just wanted you to know. You’ve made a huge difference to Karl’s life and to mine. I’m more grateful than you could ever realise.’

  ‘Like I said, no problem. Just remember to rinse the washing machine when you’ve washed that little lot.’ She nodded at his mud-bedecked trousers and shirt and gave him a mock scowl.

  ‘Yes, Miss,’ Mark laughed, closing the door behind her.

  He really had no idea what he was going to do without her. Manage, he supposed. At least with Starbuck around… Mark stopped and prayed for another miracle that the suspected intestinal obstruction Starbuck was being x-rayed for tomorrow wouldn’t need surgery and, if it did, that it wouldn’t be major, for Starbuck’s sake, for Karl’s sake, and selfishly, for his own.

  He headed back to the lounge to try to persuade Karl they needed to get Starbuck to eat something, hopefully therefore prompting Karl to do the same.

  ‘Hey, Karl,’ he said, crouching down. ‘How’s Starbuck.’

  ‘Starbuck’s not well,’ Karl said, repeating what Mark had told him.

  ‘Yes, I know that Karl. That’s why Starbuck needs to be comforted, isn’t it?’

  ‘Yes.’ Karl nodded and switched his attention from Fireman Sam to Starbuck, tucking the quilt around him so that only the dog’s head was visible.

  Christ, Mark hoped the poor dog’s temperature wasn’t up.

  ‘Has Starbuck had his water today, Karl?’

  ‘Yes.’ Karl was adamant.

  Mark nodded. ‘Good.’ So far, he thought. Now, how to approach the subject of food? He thought about saying that Starbuck needed to eat to get well. But then, if the dog didn’t eat, wouldn’t that be telling Karl that he wasn’t going to get well?

  ‘Poor Starbuck has a tummy pain, doesn’t he, Karl?’ Mark decided on a different tack.

  Karl didn’t answer this time.

  ‘Does Karl have a tummy pain?’ Mark asked, hoping in a backwards way that Karl just might have some rumblings in there from lack of food.

  Karl said nothing, but pressed both hands against his diaphragm, which Mark took as an affirmative.

  ‘I think Starbuck’s tummy pain might be worse because he’s hungry, Karl. I think Karl might be hungry, too. Shall we see if we can eat something, Karl?’

  ‘Shall we see if we can eat something, Starbuck?’ Karl said, easing the duvet away from the dog.

  Relating to the dog without doubt. Mark almost fell back on his haunches. ‘I think Starbuck might be more comfortable staying where he is, Karl,’ he said, quickly, not wanting to disturb him. ‘Dad will go and get us some food, okay?’

  Mark headed for the door, relieved, then pretty damn pleased when he heard Karl say, ‘Dad will get us some food, Starbuck.’

  Forty minutes later, Mark was ready to go to phase two of operation persuasion. Starbuck would be having a general anaesthetic, so he’d have to starve him tomorrow, but Mark thought that all the more reason to try and get some sustenance down the dog today. He’d taken a little chicken and rice from him yesterday, so Mark was hoping he might now, which just might encourage Karl to eat something.

  ‘Here we go,’ he said, going back to the lounge with boiled chicken and rice mixed up in the dog bowl and his speciality, gluten-free fried chunky-chicken and rice on Karl’s plate, portions carefully separated, as usual.

  ‘Karl’s dinner.’ Mark set the plate on a smoothed bit of the duvet
for Karl. ‘And Starbuck’s dinner, which as Starbuck’s so well tucked-up,’ he knelt in front of the dog, ‘Dad is going to feed to him. Which bit do you fancy, Starbuck?’

  Mark mentally crossed his fingers and plucked up a tender bit of chicken. ‘Good, hey?’ He smiled as the dog sniffed, caught it between his teeth, then swallowed.

  ‘What was that, Starbuck? You want more rice with it?’ Mark cocked his head. ‘No problem. I’ll just give a good stir and…’ He made a great show of stirring the food, then offered it to Starbuck, one eye on Karl as he did so.

  ‘Good boy, Starbuck.’ Mark sighed, relieved, when the dog took the food.

  Then almost died as Karl stirred his food.

  ****

  Bouncing through her last Monday in the office while Sadie was safely back home, Donna was going some way to erasing the awfulness of the weekend. She was quite looking forward to getting to the respite home, she decided, giving Jean, who was on the phone vis-à-vis actual work this time, a smile and blowing Simon a kiss as she left.

  She was certainly looking forward to seeing how little Karl was getting on, whether putting on his shoes had become a part of his morning ritual. Getting a glimpse of his dad wouldn’t be too hard to cope with either. Donna felt that little flip in her chest again, like the soft flutter of butterfly’s wings. She probably wouldn’t though. Dr Lewis said that Jody usually picked Karl up in the evenings. Still, it would be nice to meet Jody properly. She couldn’t believe how wrong she’d been about her.

  About Mark. She smiled, recalling how he’d staggered into the pub with Sadie, looking pleased with himself despite being covered in dog hair and mud, then straightened her face when she recalled what he’d said before he’d gone down from the bedroom to speak to Matt: I care very much about you. I know now’s probably not a good time, but… what was he going to say after the “but’? I don’t think we should see each other anymore?

  Donna had a little chew on her lip as she drove to the respite home. Had she lost him, her white knight in blue? And he had been. How selfless was a man who’d changed the bed linen, knowing she wouldn’t want to sleep on sheets a stranger had touched? A man who’d put her lingerie through the washer, remembering to set the cycle to delicates? A man who, after a sleepless night, had looked for, located and brought her dog home, the loss of whom in such circumstances would truly have broken her heart.