Somebody to Love: Sigh With Contentment, Scream With Frustration. At Time You Will Weep.

by Sheryl Browne

  She’d thought Mark would be the heart-breaker. Too good-looking, too perfect not to be. He wouldn’t have been. The gloss might have worn off a little, eventually, but he wasn’t bad at the core. Donna realised that now, now that she’d pushed him away, almost accused him. What a terrible thing to do, after all Mark had done. But then, her home had been invaded and her brain so addled she couldn’t think straight. Donna tried to forgive herself, though she doubted Mark could.

  Simon, bless him, had been aghast at the news of the burglary, fussing over her and bringing her two chocolate biccies with her tea. Then so agog he’d nearly fallen off his chair when she’d mentioned, en passant, that she’d woken to find a semi-naked policeman sleeping in her bed. Then so puzzled, he’d wondered if she wanted to confide when she said she hadn’t actually slept with Mark.

  Jean, partaking of girl-talk for the first time ever, thought Donna right to take things slowly.

  Slowly? Donna had sighed, then had a little confide — in mean-Jean of all people, that she’d managed to actually move things backwards.

  He might well have decided to move on. Donna’s buoyant mood deflated as she pulled into the respite home car park. She hadn’t been able to reach him on his mobile, via text or voice message and she didn’t do telepathy. She couldn’t blame him if he had. The man had enough problems without her: a demanding job, single parent to an autistic child. Could she ever have been more self-centred?

  Donna tried his mobile one last time, once she’d parked. She took a deep breath when he invited her to leave a message and went for it, hoping to move things backwards to a place where they might have been able to move forward, had he not tripped over another policeman in her bedroom.

  ‘Hi, Mark, it’s me again,’ she said, trying to sound cheery, ‘the neurotic dog-lover who tends to make things terribly complicated. Um, not sure what to say now.’ Donna paused, wondering how daft she was going to sound. Did it matter? If she’d lost him, she’d lost him, and it really didn’t matter how she sounded.

  She steeled herself and went on, ‘The thing is, I was wondering if I could take up your kind suggestion to, um, have another bash at it? No demands on each other we can’t cope with, obviously. You can’t, I mean,’ she clarified, not wanting him to think she was still totally focussed on her, ‘with little Karl and work, and…’ Stop babbling, idiot. ‘Can we, do you think? Take it one day at a time, possibly? Call me, sometime anyway, whatever. Byeee.’

  She ended on as upbeat a note as he could, tugged up the shoulders and went on in to the respite home, determined to be a friend to Karl in a world where, even if you didn’t recognise you’d got friends, you certainly needed them.

  ‘Hey, Donna.’ Dr Lewis waved at her, from where he was talking to a technically-savvy child, destined to be a whiz-kid in the world of communication by satellite.

  Donna waved back, had a quick word with one of the key-workers who wanted some help painting the props for a role-play game, then went straight over to Karl.

  ‘Hello, Karl,’ she said, having noticed he’d retreated to his own space, in the obvious absence of his furry best friend. ‘Can I play with your bricks, please?’ She seated herself carefully next to him on the floor, aware that Karl had only recently learnt the concept of sharing, thanks to Starbuck’s help in integrating him with other children.

  Karl didn’t say anything, but didn’t object.

  Donna set to building a skyscraper next to his. ‘Where’s your best-friend, Starbuck, today, Karl?’ she asked, after a moment.

  ‘Starbuck’s not well,’ Karl offered, without hesitation.

  Oh, Lord. Of course Starbuck wasn’t well. She’d known he wasn’t. And she, too preoccupied with her own problems, hadn’t given it another moment’s thought.

  God, sometimes she was so…

  Donna chose her moment to have a quick word with Dr Lewis and learned that Starbuck was being operated on that very afternoon.

  ‘Fairly routine operation, I gather. Removal of an intestinal obstruction,’ Dr Lewis said, helping to get children who were going home coated and ready to leave. ‘Should be right as rain in no time. Karl does seem a bit lost without… Whoa, Jamie, give it back.’ Dr Lewis stopped and went off after another little boy to avert an impending crisis.

  ‘Thank God,’ Donna breathed, relieved, then proceeded to worry. So why hadn’t Mark returned any of her calls? Even assuming it was routine, he’d know that she’d find out if she were here at the respite home. That she might be concerned.

  Unless he was on hush-hush op possibly? Or somewhere else no mobiles were allowed. A meeting perhaps? A hospital? Police were often called there. But then, it could be that he didn’t want to return her calls, of course. Donna decided not to dwell on that.

  Half an hour later — and two masterpieces produced by Karl depicting his furry best friend, Karl was still waiting to be collected.

  ‘Most odd,’ Dr Lewis commented, furrowing his brow. ‘Jody’s rarely late, and when she is, Mark always… that will probably be one of them now,’ he said, heading for the ringing telephone.

  He came back looking further troubled.

  ‘Problem?’ Donna asked, looking up from Karl’s new artistic endeavour, depicting Donna’s three-legged best friend.

  ‘Jody,’ Dr Lewis confirmed. ‘Her mum’s taken a turn for the worse, which means we have a problem. She can’t get a hold of Mark, apparently.’

  ‘Oh.’ Donna’s oh was definitely a worried one now.

  ‘I’d better ring the university, cancel the lecture I’m giving and take Karl over to the accommodation block to wait. Can’t leave young Karl here on his own, can we, Karl?’ Dr Lewis said, heading back to the phone.

  ‘Karl doesn’t like being on his own,’ Karl piped up, still studiously crayoning.

  ‘Definitely progress.’ Dr Lewis smiled at Donna as he dialled.

  ‘I could take him across and stay with him,’ Donna offered. ‘It’s a bit short notice to cancel a whole lecture, isn’t it? Or maybe…’ she had a think as to a more suitable alternative than a place Karl wasn’t that familiar with ‘… take Karl on home maybe?’

  ‘That’s very kind of you, Donna, but I’m not sure Karl would be comfortable going into a strange environment, particularly without Starbuck.’

  ‘No, no, I meant Karl’s home, assuming I can get a key, which I think I can. And, um, I have an idea that Karl might come with me if…’

  ****

  ‘Well, I never…’ Dr Lewis looked on in wonder as Karl slipped neatly into the backseat of Donna’s car next to Sadie. ‘You’re a natural, Donna O’Connor. Have a gold star.’

  ‘Thank you.’ Donna gave him a mini-curtsey, before climbing in the driver’s side.

  ‘No, thank you.’ Dr Lewis smiled his appreciation. ‘You, too, Matt. I wish my teenage son was half so accommodating occasionally.’

  ‘You need to work on the eyelashes.’ Matt imparted his mother’s powers of persuasion, fluttering Donna-like beguiling lashes as he headed towards the passenger side.

  ‘I’ll work on it.’ Dr Lewis had a quick blink. ‘Okay, guys.’ He patted the car roof, seeing them off. ‘I’ll keep trying to get a hold of Mark. He has my mobile anyway, but I’m thinking he doesn’t know there’s been a hitch with Jody if she hasn’t been able to reach him. He’ll probably be relieved to find Karl’s at home. Check in with you later, Donna.’

  Donna gave him a wave and pulled off, not sure Mark would be pleased to find the whole world and its dog at his house, including her troublesome self, but at least Karl would be safe in familiar surroundings.

  ****

  ‘Hello, young man.’ Robert, Donna assumed, greeted Karl as they piled out of the car outside Mark’s house. ‘Hello, Gem…’ He squinted at Donna. ‘You’re not Gemma.’

  ‘Gemma?’ Donna glanced curiously at Evelyn.

  ‘Oh, dear.’ Evelyn shook her head resignedly.

  Obviously expecting her to turn into a suspicious, slitty-eyed mons
ter. Well, she wasn’t going to. Donna adopted her serene woman of substance expression. Gemma could be anyone. His… Donna tried to give her a label that hadn’t already been taken by women in Mark’s life… gardener?

  ‘Oh, no, Gemma’s the old one.’ Robert nodded to himself.

  ‘Old?’ Donna mouthed at her mum.

  ‘Previous,’ Evelyn translated.

  ‘Ah.’ Donna nodded enlightened, then narrowed her eyes. ‘Previous what?’

  ‘Childminder, Donna.’ Evelyn sighed. ‘Which is why Dot and I got confused about Jody’s role in Mark’s life. Robert thought she was called Gemma, who was actually Jody’s pre-de… Oh, never mind.’ She stopped, as Donna knitted her ever-perplexed brow. ‘Suffice it to say she and Mark were never an item.’

  ‘Is this the latest girl, then?’ Robert eyed Donna interestedly. ‘I must say he does seem to get through them.’

  ‘Childminders, Donna,’ Evelyn supplied patiently.

  ‘Think he’d settle down with one or the other, wouldn’t you.’ Robert pondered. ‘I quite liked that young, slim one myself. What was her name? Ah, yes, Rachel.’

  ‘Rachel?’ Donna looked at her mum, boggle-eyed.

  ‘I have no idea.’ Evelyn eyed the skies.

  ‘Then there was… who was it? Kath —’

  ‘Yes, thank you, Robert.’ Evelyn gave him a swift nudge. ‘This is Donna, my daughter. Currently seeing Mark.’

  ‘Ah.’ Robert smiled. ‘Oh.’ He looked a bit sheepish. ‘Well, why didn’t you say so?’

  ‘I did, one or two thousand times.’ Evelyn turned to the house with a weary sigh. ‘Honestly, Robert. Do try and keep up.’

  ‘Right you are.’ Robert saluted, and scooted after her. ‘I’d never have thought she was your daughter.’ He mused. ‘Pretty girl, isn’t she?’

  ‘Idiot man.’ Evelyn marched on.

  Bemused, Donna watched them all troop towards Mark’s house: Matt sloping along holding Karl’s hand, who was holding firm to the lead of her three legged dog; followed by the odd couple, and decided Mark might do well to avoid coming home.

  Was he all right? Donna worried as she trailed after them. Granted, he might not know about Jody’s situation, but he must surely have got one of the five million messages Donna had left him.

  Perhaps he really was pulling away now he’d helped her put her house back in order. She really couldn’t blame him. A mortifying image of herself being sick in the bathroom wearing fishnets and polystyrene cups, flashed through her mind, and she wondered what man in his right mind wouldn’t run a mile?

  ****

  Mark shook his head, sure he’d rung the wrong number. ‘Evelyn?’ he asked, confused.

  ‘Well I was when I last looked, though you’d never think so to listen to your father. If he calls me Hyacinth Bucket again, I may do something —’

  ‘Evelyn,’ Mark cut her short, ‘where are you?’

  ‘Standing talking to you on the phone, dear boy.’

  ‘I must have rung the wrong number.’ Mark shook his head again. ‘I’d better go, Evelyn. I meant to phone home.’

  ‘You have. Well done, ET.’

  Mark held the receiver away from his ear and looked at it askew. ‘Sorry?’

  ‘I’m at your house, Mark. This is why I am answering your phone. Where else would I be when my daughter had to bring your abandoned son home and needed your father’s key?’

  ‘Donna?’ Mark really was confused now.

  ‘Yes, Donna. The one whose bedroom you were in throwing your weight around, remember?’

  ‘Evelyn, I remember, trust me. Now, I appreciate you’d be concerned for Donna and want to fight her corner, but can we fight later? I’m in a phone box and I really need to talk to her.’

  ‘You can’t,’ Evelyn informed him shortly. ‘She’s putting Karl to bed.’

  Bed? Jesus, did Donna realise that Karl would need to go through his rituals before he got into bed? More so, without Starbuck. What in God’s name was going on? The one day he forgets his mobile and all hell breaks loose.

  ‘Okay, look, I don’t have my mobile, Evelyn. If Donna needs me, tell her I’m on my way.’

  ‘I’m sure she does need you. If she wasn’t busy trying to be so independent, she might…’

  Mark left Evelyn talking to herself and ran back to his car, knowing he’d be too late to avert a crisis if there was one. Maybe Donna could cope. She’d been working at the respite home, after all, and he didn’t need Dr Lewis to tell him how competent she was. But Donna was not built like a Gladiator. And that’s the kind of strength sometimes needed to hold Karl until he calmed down.

  Evelyn was there, though. And his dad. Mark tried to calm himself, glancing over to the backseat, seeing Starbuck still flat out there and reminding himself to drive sensibly. What had happened with Jody? He hoped to God she was okay. Why hadn’t he given her the vet’s contact number, for Christ’s sake? Because he hadn’t envisaged complications. The sort that you sometimes can’t avoid.

  Starbuck had needed major surgery, but he’d pulled through. That was something to be hugely grateful for. Whatever mayhem broke loose today, at least Karl and he might be able to get back to some sort of normality tomorrow.

  ****

  Evelyn flapped a hand, shushing him before he was through the door. Mark glanced past her as she pointed to the lounge, then did a double-take as he saw Matt in the hall.

  ‘Crisis averted,’ Matt said immediately, obviously noting Mark’s apprehension. ‘Karl’s kipping on the lounge floor.’

  Mark raked his hand through his hair, disbelieving. He had to be kidding.

  He walked quietly to the lounge door to see for himself, then, ‘Bloody Hell!’ he was flabbergasted at what he did see. Karl was fast asleep, comfortably tucked under his duvet, another underneath him, and Sadie right beside him.

  Jesus. ‘How?’ he asked quietly, stepping away from the door before he disturbed them.

  ‘Um, well he just sort of lay down, shut his eyes and… Actually it wasn’t quite that simple,’ Matt admitted as Mark stared at him, incredulous. ‘I now have my watching Fireman Sam badge and mum has a black eye…’

  ‘A… What?’ Mark paled.

  ‘Relax. She’s tougher than you think. S’why you’d betta not mess wit her, yo?’

  ‘What happened?’ Mark asked, as if he didn’t know.

  Matt got back to serious. ‘Well, he did four circuits of the stairs, landing and the bedroom. Then he just threw a wobbly. Not sure what caused it.’

  ‘Was the bathroom occupied?’ Mark asked.

  ‘Not sure. Why?’

  ‘Has to flush the loo, then flick the landing light before he can… Long story.’

  ‘Got you.’ Matt nodded, seeming to understand. ‘Anyhow, Mum got him in a bear-hug eventually and managed to convince him Sadie wasn’t feeling well after all the trips upstairs with her one front leg, so…’

  Karl went back down to the dog. Mark got it. Because he didn’t want Sadie going away like Starbuck had, who also wasn’t feeling well.

  Mark ran his hand over his neck, disbelieving, astonished, but above all, jubilant. Did Donna have any idea what she’d done? Widened Karl’s scope to accept the abstract? Opened his mind further to the fact that things from the same family tree didn’t necessarily come in the same packaging. Starbuck was a dog. Sadie was a dog. Simple. Not in Karl’s mind: one with four legs, one with three.

  As for getting Karl to break with exhausting ritual: to sleep somewhere different. To most people it might not amount to much. Their kid was camping out. No big deal. To Mark, to Karl, it meant, quite literally, that the shackles were off. That for the first time in his life, his son might be able to go on holiday, to feel the sand between his toes, to paddle in the sea.

  ‘I, er…’ Mark glanced down, sucked in a breath, blew it out, and still he couldn’t speak. ‘Your mum’s definitely special, you know that, don’t you?’ he finally managed.

  ‘Definitely, but in a go
od way,’ Matt conceded as Donna appeared from the kitchen, a frozen haddock over one eye.

  ‘Hi.’ Donna smiled hesitantly when she saw Mark. ‘Um, Robert,’ she explained the presence of fish on her face. ‘He’s trying to bring my swelling down. Hope this wasn’t your supper.’

  ‘I don’t mind sharing.’ Mark laughed. ‘Just be careful where you put the tartar sauce though.’ His eyes drifted involuntarily to her lips.

  Donna blushed the way she did. And every time she did, it melted Mark’s heart just a little bit more. ‘And be careful you don’t defrost all over your blouse,’ he said, stepping towards her to ease a loose tendril of hair from under her haddock.

  ‘I brought Karl home,’ Donna explained, looking at him with one uncertain pretty green eye, even now, looking nervous up close to him.

  Mark wished she wouldn’t be. ‘I gathered.’ He smiled, mesmerised for a moment, and more in love with this woman who managed to look sexy even with a frozen fish on her face, than he thought he could ever be. ‘What did you do, drug him?’

  ‘No!’ Donna’s fish slipped.

  ‘Ouch.’ Mark winced. ‘I’m joking, Donna.’ He trailed a thumb gently over her bruised cheek. ‘And I’m truly grateful. You might not realise it, but what you’ve done, persuading Karl to step out of the norm, sleep anywhere but where he’s used to, is nothing short of a miracle.’

  ‘Oh, it was nothing.’ Donna blushed again, pleased with herself this time. ‘I’ve got another eye on the other side, see?’ She pointed, and smiled.

  Which had Mark smiling right down to his shoes.

  ‘Jody obviously wasn’t in a position to with her mum being ill, and it really wasn’t too much trouble once the troops were organised.’ Donna nodded to the kitchen where Evelyn and Robert were arguing in whispers.