Fallen Firsts

by Jillian Torassa

  “So there is proof.”

  “Yes. There is a video that they show all new Doctors, explaining the actual history of the End of All Things. In reality, Doctors believe that Knowledge is power, and since that’s what they want, anyone who joins their ranks must know what really happened.”

  “So why did it take so long for you to turn against them?” His voice, directed away from me, was filled with loathing. Loathing that I had heard before:

  “If you’re going to arrest or kill us, please get it over with,” Gideon hissed. “I want a chance to beat the roke out of you, you little weasel, before you try and murder us again.”

  I dropped my face into one of my hands, pinching the bridge of my nose. “Look, I’ve only ever tried to do the right thing. When I was a Third, that was following the rules. When I was a Doctor—”

  “You still are a Doctor.”

  “—it was protecting the citizens of the Ten Colonies. They told me that Knowledge isn’t evil. They told me that they were in charge. They told me that everything they did, they did to protect their citizens, and with time, I would come to realize that.”

  He huffed disbelievingly.

  Perhaps for the first time, guilt twisted in my gut. Why had I gone along with it for so long? “I know it doesn’t sound great. But the End of All Things happened because the world was in chaos. The more people gained freedom, the more the world descended into anarchy and violence—free people fighting free people as they tried to find the best way to live. The Doctors believed that it was safest to create a rigid, unchangeable social hierarchy in order to keep the peace, after everything was destroyed. And the only way to convince free people that they shouldn’t be free anymore—”

  “Keep talking. I like you less and less.”

  “I get it, okay?” Despite my best efforts, my voice rose in pitch and volume. “It was wrong. Maybe at first, until things settled down, it could have worked—”

  “Really?”

  “Okay, fine.” I didn’t want to get into a philosophical discussion with him. I just wanted to know if he would help me. “Liberty should never be sacrificed for societal stability. That’s where I am now. Are you going to help me or not?”

  He turned around then, his eyes narrowed as he considered my offer.

  I glowered back. Personally, it didn’t look to me like he had much to lose.

  And evidently he came to the same conclusion. “Okay. Fine. So what do you need from me?”

  Convincing him that I wasn’t a bad guy was the easy part. Taking a deep breath, I prepared myself to utter the words I knew he wouldn’t believe. “I need you to let me kill you.”

  He laughed.

  But I was serious.

  Chapter Eight

  Jade

  They were all still asleep when the budding sunlight hit my eyes. Even Marsh, whose turn it was to keep watch over the prisoner, snored peacefully. That didn’t matter much, though, because after a night of slashing around, trying to get free, the patrolwoman seemed to have fallen into a fretful sleep, a scowl plastered on her otherwise blank face.

  Ignoring her, I turned to pack my belongings as quietly as I could, preparing to make the hike back to Liminis.

  Alone.

  “You can’t do anything by yourself.” She hadn’t moved, but Cece’s eyes were open now, staring at me from the frozen ground.

  I sighed. “The survivors can’t be too spread out. They were all gathered in Erroris not too long ago, so you’ll meet up with me soon. I know you will.”

  She sat up now, squinting at me in the near-darkness. She had lost her glasses as soon as she first arrived in Erroris, thanks to Cameron. “But what’s your plan?”

  Embarrassment brought heat to my cheeks. “I don’t have one yet,” I admitted. “But I need to go back. Even if it’s just to say good-bye.”

  She nodded at that, wrapping her sleeping bag more tightly around her shoulders. “I guess I can understand that.”

  It wasn’t the response I had been expecting. “Good-bye, Cece,” I said, turning abruptly before she saw the tears that threatened to spill over again.

  “See you soon.”

  I had to believe that was true.

  ---

  It felt like years before I approached the boarders of Liminis again, and every hour that passed could’ve been Gideon’s last. The patrols in the area were heavy, however, and my progress was agonizingly slow.

  I soon discovered that the security sweeps were heavier at night, so I had to move during the day. This meant visibility was better for them, but it also meant it was better for me.

  Taking advantage of this during one such incident, I found myself crouched in the precarious steeple of a tiny church that had been built before the End of All Things. It was overgrown with weeds and was hardly recognizable as a building, but nothing found outside the Ten Colonies ever was.

  It was just a pair of patrolmen this time, and they stopped in the shade of the wreckage in order to eat some lunch, totally unaware of my presence.

  “When the sun comes out, it’s almost too hot, don’t you think?” the man said, unpacking his food casually.

  His partner, a large woman, grunted in agreement. “Hopefully the snow will melt, soon. I hate winter.”

  It was already 15 degrees warmer, on average, as our quadrant of the planet moved around the sun, but it still got cold enough at night that I couldn’t help but agree. That wasn’t the kind of information I was interested in, however, and I flattened my stomach against the rotten boards, hoping to hear more.

  “Did you hear that this might be one of our last rotations?” the first patrolman conveniently obliged.

  I held still, barely even breathing so that I wouldn’t miss anything.

  “No. Does that mean they caught the criminals?”

  “One of them. The Second boy is in prison, now. He says the Third girl is dead, but they have to make sure before they lift the lockdown, don’t they?”

  My mouth went dry. They have to make sure. I knew what that meant, and the phantom feet of hundreds of cockroaches scampered all over my body, leaving a forest of goose bumps in their wake.

  “And it’s almost time for the new Thirds to move out of Wissen Schule, so hopefully things will get back to normal soon.”

  “Strange that the influenza virus only seemed to hit Thirds.”

  “There were a few Seconds and Firsts who got it, too.”

  “Still . . .”

  I licked my lips in order to moisten them again. So that’s what they were telling them, at least in Liminis. If they knew the truth about the blitz (especially about what happened to Cece’s class of First and Second Class Citizens) and that there were really rebels out there, maybe they’d be more receptive to our message. We had to move fast, before things normalized again.

  And before the Doctors were satisfied with whatever information they could pry from Gideon.

  “How’d you find out about all that?” the woman asked, but before her partner could respond, a crackling voice came from the two-way radio attached to her hip.

  “Suspicious movement, north of Erroris. Repeat, suspicious movement, north of Erroris. Remain on high alert until further notice.”

  “I’m starting to question the effectiveness of the Council,” the man grumbled as he stuffed his food back into its container. “Never in my twenty years as a policeman have I seen them lose control like this. Maybe that Galilea person who keeps making waves in town is actually right about something.”

  The woman hissed at him to be quiet. “You can’t talk like that. Just do your job.”

  He grumbled something in reply, but they were already too far away for me to hear.

  Galilea? Though it was quite warm, I felt frozen to the charred remains of the steeple, barely able to believe what I had just heard. Was there someone in Liminis already laying the groundwork for what we hoped to accomplish? Were Erroris and Liminis both ready to fall?

  Maybe this wasn’t goin
g to be as hard as we originally thought.

  ---

  I finally reached the road where Gideon and I had ditched the stolen roke truck, what felt like a lifetime ago, and I was forced to confront the fact that I didn’t have a plan to re-enter the city.

  Michael had told me, when he returned to Liminis from his trip around the colonies, that the wall had been decorated with giant machine guns. It was unlikely that precaution had been lifted, since defenses had only grown tighter since Gideon and I had escaped. Michael, the rebels, and Cece’s class may have been able to sneak through the tunnel that led to the old ale house, but that was before Liminis had been put on lockdown. They had fled in a brief period of relaxed security, and the fact remaining was simple: I didn’t know how the hell I was going to get to Gideon inside the gates.

  My eyes watered from the stench of roke around me, and I cursed out loud, unable to think.

  Before I could come up with a plan, however, a loud, mechanic rumbling came charging down the road toward me. I barely had time to duck behind a tree when the sewage truck came screeching to a stop, the smell of burnt rubber mingling with the reek of human waste.

  “Dammit, John, I hate it when you drive like that.”

  A car door slammed with a reverberating bang, and as I peered around the trunk, I saw a small woman standing at the edge of the road with her arms crossed tightly across her chest.

  “We’re Doctors, for Adam’s sake! We shouldn’t have to do roke duty like a couple of hawking Thirds!”

  A second door slammed, and Dr. John roared furiously at his female companion.

  “Don’t yell at me,” she hissed. “I’m not happy about it either, but we can’t risk letting anyone else leave Liminis. You know that.”

  He responded with a loud string of profanity that would have made even Michael blush.

  “Is that really necessary?”

  I ducked behind the tree again, breathing hard.

  I smelled like roke, and I didn’t even care. I would’ve sat in the back of a thousand crap trucks, because hanging out with Cameron and his group of rebel Thirds—that was hope.

  Michael’s words rang in my head, and before my brain could catch up, I was on the move.

  It looked like a roke truck, once again, was the answer to all my problems.

  “After we finish the sweeps and kill that kid, I’ll be glad when the glutty world goes back to hawking normal,” Dr. John grumbled, and I was close enough now to hear every word, even though he had lowered his voice substantially.

  Gideon is still alive.

  “Hopefully it will be that simple,” his companion, whose name I didn’t know, said gravelly as she handed him a surgical mask. “Let’s get this over with.”

  I lost track of what happened next, because they turned on some sort of suction device that seemed to pump the thickened run-off from the truck through a giant hose. Very noisily.

  While they were otherwise occupied, I took stock of the back of the truck. A giant tank was loaded onto the long bed, and at the rear, there was a small hatch, easily big enough for me to squeeze through. I briefly entertained the idea of knocking out the Doctors, putting on their clothes, and driving the truck back into the city myself, but I had a feeling that someone would notice if two Doctors went out and only one came back in.

  There were few other hiding places, though, so into the belly of the beast I would go. But not yet.

  Stooping low, as if that would keep me hidden if either of the Doctors decided to turn around, I dashed back into the cover of the trees. I had to stay close, though, because I couldn’t afford for them to leave without me.

  Choking on every second that ticked by, I pulled my shirt over my nose and breathed through the fabric. Despite the fact that I hadn’t bathed since the Erroris Factory was destroyed, my own stink couldn’t mask the odor that filled the air around me, and my vision blurred slightly. It would only get worse once I was inside.

  What was I thinking? This was the stupidest thing I’d ever done, and I hadn’t even done it yet. They’d see me. I’d be shot on the spot, and then my life would expire while my body was covered in excrement. Was that really the way I wanted to go? Would it really be that bad, as long as no one else knew about it?

  Just as my nerves were about to get the better of me, the suction stopped and silence rang in my ears.

  “Maybe if we stop feeding them, they’ll stop pooping.”

  Dr. John laughed.

  It was almost time.

  Even though I wasn’t a fast runner, I would have to be quick for this to work. Especially if Dr. John drove out the way he drove in. Crouching in the bushes, I waited for both doors to thud closed, preparing myself for a quick dash to the truck.

  It reversed and my heart beat quicker, my limbs filling with adrenaline. Dr. John cranked the steering wheel and angled the tires back toward Liminis. Reversed again. As soon as the cab faced straight in the opposite direction, I bolted, pumping my arms to gather speed.

  For a fraction of a second, it looked like the truck was gaining momentum faster than I was, but with an extra surge, I caught up. Placing my hands on the bumper, I jumped, pulled, and twisted until my seat landed on the back of the long bed. I almost slid off, and my hands were suddenly slick with sweat as I grabbed a metal rod on the side of the truck to steady myself. Hooking my arm around the rod, I was able to get a good grip before the vehicle had reached too high a speed.

  Good thing I was so light; I was sure they wouldn’t notice the sudden extra weight, and for perhaps the first time in my life, I blessed my slender frame. Though my heart still pounded, I let out an involuntary laugh of relief as the wind whipped my hair. I could ride out here in the open until we got closer to the gates, and the stench wasn’t so bad when we were moving.

  Phase one of my plan was complete.

  Too bad it was probably the easiest phase.

  Because I didn’t want to risk Dr. John spotting my arm if he happened to look at his side mirror, I needed to move to the middle of the truck. Getting carefully to my feet, I switched arms, turned, and reached with my free hand for the metal handle that would open the back hatch. Unhooking my elbow, I side-stepped quickly and carefully, centering myself and anchoring against the hatch. I gripped the metal bar that connected the two hinges just as we reached a particularly rough patch of road.

  I cursed under my breath as my foot slipped, but I was able to hang on with sweaty palms and quivering legs.

  After fifteen minutes or so of desperate clinging, the truck began to slow, and I knew it was time to hide. With a deep breathe, I let go of the metal bar, sidled over to the other side, and pushed down on the handle, letting the hatch swing open away from me.

  It was as though a wave of waste particles had slapped me in the face. Scrunching up my nose, I reminded myself that this was the only option. I couldn’t stay out here in the open, and I had to get to Gideon. With strengthened resolve, I ducked inside the poop jail, tears quickly pooling in my eyes.

  Is this really how Michael got inside Erroris? I asked myself, gagging as I pulled my shirt over my nose again. It seemed more and more likely that his story had been hyperbolic. I left the hatch door open a crack and leaned toward the fresh air, even as Dr. John brought the vehicle to a stop.

  “Identification, please.” A loud, unfamiliar voice reached me in the back.

  My heart pounded and my head swam. What if they did a thorough inspection of the truck? Would they look inside the emptied tank? That had seemed unreasonable when I had first considered the risk, but the Doctors appeared to be highly paranoid.

  Not that they didn’t have good reason to be.

  “Did you see anything unusual while you were out, Doctors?”

  “No,” Dr. John replied.

  “Nothing,” confirmed his companion.

  “Please stand by for vehicle inspection.”

  Drinking in a huge lungful of air, I quietly pulled the hatch closed (without actually letting the latch cli
ck) and held my breath. The outside world was all but silenced by the thick metal walls of the tank, and I had no way of knowing what was going on.

  As the seconds dragged by, my chest began to burn as my cells screamed for oxygen. If I breathed in the fumes, however, I would surely pass out, so I slowly let the carbon dioxide escape through my lips instead. After my diaphragm had fully collapsed on itself, I knew I would have to take in another breath. Shirt to my mouth, I readied myself to inhale deeply.

  But then the truck jerked forward again.

  An involuntary gasp escaped me as I fell over from my crouch. They hadn’t seen me! The relief that flooded my body almost cancelled out the nauseating air I had to breathe as the truck bumped into the sewage yard.

  I had made it back inside Liminis.

  ---

  The sun was setting by the time it was safe for me to leave the back of the truck. Thanks to the lengthening days, the Sewage Center was nearly abandoned as all of its workers had already returned home for dinner.

  My stomach growled longingly.

  But there wasn’t time for that now.

  Since I had worked here a few times, back when I lived with Walter, I knew exactly how to get inside. After jimmying open the locked door, I found myself creeping through the dark hallways, heading toward the industrial sink where Thirds could clean up after their shifts.

  The first order of business was to scrub some of the stench off of my body.

  Even though being caught naked, if there was anyone left inside the center, would be the least of my problems, I looked around carefully before stripping off my clothes. I scrubbed my arms and face before wondering how the hell I was going to get the rest of myself clean. Finally, I settled with climbing right into the large sink. It’s odd how you can still feel like a fool, even when no one is watching.