The Courage to Dream

by Margaret Daley

  “Fun? No way! Not when we’re playing the children.” She stressed the word children as if that explained everything.

  No wonder she was banned from being the team’s coach, Michael thought as Helen marched off to help prepare the food.

  “My boy, you’re braver than I thought,” Robert Davenport said as he approached Michael and clapped him on the back.

  “I guess we all have our moments of insanity. This is one of mine,” Michael replied while scanning the crowd for Rachel. Speaking of insanity, why couldn’t he get Rachel Peters out of his mind? When she’d left Magnolia Blossom ten years before, he had wiped her from his mind out of necessity. Now all of a sudden he couldn’t stop thinking about the woman.

  “Michael, someone approached me about your riverboat again.”

  “I want to back off from selling the boat right now. I’ve been reminded how important roots are. That riverboat is part of my family heritage.” Michael plowed his hand through his brown hair, his gaze tracking Rachel as she walked toward the food tables. “I’ve been kicking around an idea lately. What if I fixed the boat up for short cruises on the river? It could have a restaurant that served lunch and dinner.”

  Robert looked in the direction Michael was staring. “You’ll need someone to help you with the restaurant. Have anyone in mind?”

  Michael furrowed his brow. “Do you?”

  “We both know that Rachel would be perfect as a consultant. Of course, I get the feeling she’s just biding her time until she leaves for New York.”

  The mention of New York produced a stab of pain in Michael’s chest, reminding him again of what had happened ten years before. “It would keep her here for a while. That would help Shaun and Amy adjust to her.”

  “You’d have to work closely with her. Could you?”

  What would his life have been like if Rachel had stayed in Magnolia Blossom and married him? Lately he’d asked himself that question, but as before he was determined not to pursue the answer. She was out of his system, and he intended to keep it that way.

  “I don’t know, Robert.” Michael didn’t know if he could work closely with Rachel knowing in the end she would walk away. His frown deepened. Again he tunneled his fingers through his hair in frustration while he glanced toward her. “It was just a thought. I haven’t made up my mind yet.”

  * * *

  Rachel placed her potato salad on the long table with the other food for the picnic. She hadn’t been to this type of affair since she had lived here. When she looked up from inspecting the feast, she caught sight of Shaun racing toward the river. Since the night her younger brother had run away, their relationship had improved. She’d taken Michael’s advice and listened to her brother’s side. When she’d discovered that some of the older boys had taunted Shaun for having to come in early, she could understand why he had disobeyed her.

  She could even understand why he had run away after she’d handed out what he considered an unreasonable punishment. She hadn’t retracted the week’s grounding, but she hadn’t added to it, either. She still had a long way to go with Shaun, but he was more willing to talk to her now.

  With thoughts of Michael weaving through her mind, Rachel found herself searching for him in the crowd. When her gaze settled on him, her heart missed a beat. Across the short distance she watched as Michael raked his hand through his hair, then massaged the back of his neck, gestures he used when he was upset. Frowning, he stared at the river for a long moment, then made his way toward the path that ran along the Mississippi.

  Something’s wrong. Rachel didn’t think about the wisdom of following; she just did. She didn’t like to see that vulnerable look in his expression.

  As she hurried along the path, she wondered where Michael had disappeared. Rounding a bend in the trail, she collided with him and instantly backed away, her eyes wide with surprise.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t see—”

  “That’s okay. I’m sure this trail is big enough for the both of us. I’ll go this way. You go that way.” He pointed in the opposite direction.

  When he began to move past her, Rachel touched his arm. “Let’s walk together.”

  One eyebrow rose. “Together? Has the heat finally gotten to you?”

  Rachel laughed. “No. I came looking for you.”

  “Why?”

  “I think it’s time we talk.”

  “Why?”

  “Because of what happened between us ten years ago. Because you know my sister and brother so well. Because I think you need to talk right now.” That vulnerability she had glimpsed earlier flashed into his eyes, and she didn’t wait for him to say anything. She took his hand and began walking along the path.

  At the first lookout point on the path Michael stopped and gently tugged his hand from hers. “Rachel, I think it would be best if we went our separate ways. We hurt each other once, and I personally don’t want to go through that again.”

  “Don’t you mean I hurt you?”

  He shook his head. “Lately, I’ve been thinking. I can see now that I demanded a commitment when you weren’t ready to give one.”

  “We wanted two different things in life, Michael. I knew how important Whispering Oaks and Magnolia Blossom were to you, that you wouldn’t want to leave them. And I couldn’t stay.” Rachel clasped his hand, marveling at the strong, warm feel beneath her fingers. “What happened is over, but we shouldn’t let it stand between us now.”

  Again, he removed his hand from hers and strode to the edge of the bluff. “Let bygones be bygones?”

  She joined him near the edge. “Exactly. We were best friends once.”

  “Before we started dating.” He glanced at her. A smile touched the corners of his mouth.

  She stared at him, memories tumbling through her mind. Vivid pictures of them together pushed all else from her thoughts. The remembered feel of his chiseled cheekbones and roughly hewn features beneath her hands produced tingling sensations in her fingertips as if she were running them over a piece of warm granite. His slow smile touched a part of her that she held in reserve. She was completely lost in the moment, the ten years that stood between them crumbling to dust.

  “You want to be friends again?” Michael asked.

  That was the only thing possible between them now, Rachel acknowledged to herself, and yet she couldn’t quite let go of the intense emotions that had gone beyond friendship. She tried to inject some humor into her voice as she replied. “Well, at least not enemies. Amy and Shaun think the world of you. We should be on speaking terms for the children’s sake.” Her sentences were rattled off in rapid fire. She felt pulled toward him like the river toward the delta, her actions beyond her control.

  “Only for their sake?” His gaze probed hers, stripping away the years of separation.

  Disconcerted, Rachel turned away and tugged a leaf off a bush, crushing it in her hand, its fresh scent wafting to her. “No. For mine, too. I’ve got enough problems facing me here in Magnolia Blossom. I can’t handle this tension between us, too. I need a friend.” She had never admitted needing a friend to another person. Surprisingly, the admission came as a relief.

  Michael placed a hand on her shoulder and kneaded her tensed muscles. “Amy and Shaun can be a handful.”

  Rachel laughed shakily, wanting desperately to lean back against him, but she’d walked away from having that right years ago. Instead, she stood stiffly in front of him. “That’s the understatement of the year. It wasn’t that long ago that I was Amy’s age, and yet I feel so much older.”

  “She’s extremely precocious and determined to have her way. She reminds me of someone else I knew years ago.”

  Her eyes closed as his hands continued to massage the taut muscles of her shoulders and neck. She wanted to give in to the delicious sensations flowing through her but realized she shouldn’t, couldn’t. Calling on a willpower that had helped her to succeed in a tough profession, she stepped away from Michael’s entrancing caresses and turned t
oward the river as though she had never seen the Mississippi and was enthralled with its discovery.

  “And Shaun. He’s another story. I haven’t been around my younger brother much, and even though we’re talking, I don’t know if I’m getting through. He’s such a—” No words of description materialized as she thought over the past two weeks with Shaun.

  “A dynamo.”

  “Yes! If we could tap into his energy source, we could light half of Mississippi.”

  Michael’s chuckle was low and warm like the night air in the summertime. “Shaun could talk Flora out of anything. In fact, he can talk just about anyone into doing what he wants.”

  “I can certainly vouch for that. There have been a few occasions I shouldn’t have given in to him. He’s a future con artist who definitely needs limits set for him.”

  “Rachel, it’ll take time, but you can reach both of them. Your heart’s in the right place.”

  She slanted a look toward him, their gazes embracing. When she saw the tenderness in his dark eyes, her throat contracted. She’d had so little tenderness in her life, a life she had purposefully chosen for herself, she realized. But sometimes it was difficult trying to be so tough and strong.

  “Do your parents know what’s happened to Flora?”

  Rachel went rigid as if she had been hit and was bracing herself for another blow. “I’ve been trying to get ahold of my parents. Communications between here and the Amazon jungle aren’t the best.”

  “But you haven’t heard from them?”

  “No. They’re probably out stalking some rare tropical plant and haven’t returned to their base camp yet.” Again Rachel was making excuses for her parents. Part of her was angry that she felt she had to. “They’ll get in touch when they can,” she added with more conviction than she felt.

  Rachel had often wondered why they had bothered to have children in the first place. Neither her father nor her mother had been able to answer her satisfactorily. Eventually her parents would contact her about Amy and Shaun when they got the news about Aunt Flora. But she knew the outcome of that conversation. Even if they wanted to take Amy and Shaun, she knew that wasn’t the best solution for her sister and brother. Her parents’ living conditions were primitive and temporary. Amy and Shaun needed more stability than that, so the alternative was for her to take care of them. Even Aunt Flora had known that was the best solution. She had left money and provisions in her will for Rachel to take care of her younger brother and sister. Rachel wondered if her parents and aunt had discussed this at one time.

  For a few minutes Rachel watched as a barge passed on the river below. She’d seen her mother a few years back when she’d been speaking at a conference in New York, and they had eaten dinner together. In the past four years Rachel had shared three hours of her mother’s time. Why was saving mankind more important than her own children? Couldn’t someone else do it for a while? Rachel had wanted to ask her mother those questions at dinner that evening. She hadn’t. The conversation had been polite and insignificant, ending with a stiff hug reserved more for an acquaintance than a daughter.

  “Rachel, are you all right?”

  She swung around, pasting a bright, false smile on her face. “Of course, I am. I was just thinking about the softball game this afternoon.”

  Michael touched her arm, his hand sliding down to grasp hers. “It’s okay to admit you aren’t all right. You never talked much about your parents. I’m a good listener.”

  “I’m fine. Really,” she quickly said. “Tell you a secret, though.” She leaned closer, immediately realizing her mistake when her senses were deluged with his outdoor woodsy scent. She pulled back and whispered loudly, “I forgot how unbearably hot it can get here in the summertime. Since I’ve been here I’ve taken more naps in the afternoon than I have in the ten years since I’ve been gone. Come three o’clock I may just curl up in the bleachers and miss seeing the big event.”

  “You aren’t playing?”

  “Me! I wouldn’t fit in. I haven’t played in ten years. Surely the coach isn’t counting on me.”

  “Not anymore.”

  Rachel laughed. “You’re the one Helen duped—I mean, talked into being the coach.”

  “Afraid so.”

  “What persuaded you? I hear it’s a thankless job.”

  “Someone has to do it.”

  “So you did it out of the goodness of your heart?”

  “Yep.”

  Mischief prompted her to say, “Liar. She told me she was going to entice the lucky person with one of her pecan pies.”

  “Two.”

  “Oh, you are a shrewd bargainer. No one else in town would do it for less than four of them.”

  “I did it for the team.”

  “And not for your sweet tooth?”

  “Well, that and to keep the peace.”

  Rachel shook her head. “Remember the time I baked you a three-layer German chocolate cake to get you to take me to New Orleans? You didn’t want to go, but after eating the cake, you took me.”

  “That’s what I wanted you to think so I could get one of your cakes.”

  “Oh, Michael Hunter! You may never get another cake from me again.” Snapping her fingers, Rachel smiled. “Okay, how about that time I wanted to go to that new restaurant in Natchez?”

  He grinned.

  “The concert in Jackson?”

  “That group was one of my favorites.”

  “I never thought you could be so devious. I can’t let you get away with that.”

  “You can’t?” A look of pure playfulness was in his eyes as he began to stalk her. She took one step back then another.

  “I should have realized that when I saw one of their albums at your house. A friend’s indeed.” She chattered, her nerve endings quivering as she tried to push past him.

  He blocked her escape, pinning her against the trunk of a live oak, the Spanish moss hanging on its branches concealing them from the world in a green drape. “You enjoyed trying to manipulate me. I just let you think you were and I got to satisfy my sweet tooth, too.” His gaze snared hers as he bent closer. “Admit it. It was a game we both enjoyed playing,” he murmured, his voice low, smoky.

  She nodded once, trapped in a world where only she and Michael existed. She was seventeen again, he nineteen, and they had just discovered they were more than best friends. The kiss that had produced that revelation was still engraved in her thoughts.

  Slowly, reverently Michael touched her throat. His eyes locked with hers. “We played a lot of games, you and I. I was always trying to discover what made you tick and never quite succeeding.” He dropped his hand from her throat, his eyes clouding with bittersweet memories.

  Rachel watched myriad emotions cross his face as he shoved himself away from the tree trunk, distancing himself physically and emotionally from her. He was different from the young man she’d fallen in love with. She was different, too. She didn’t know this man before her. They were strangers with a shared past. It was a mistake to think she could afford to become his friend again. She stepped from underneath the hanging moss. In the end she would leave him behind as she had all the other people before him.

  As she stared at Michael’s back, she didn’t know if she could handle the next several months without some help. Whether she liked it or not, she needed Michael. Having decided she had to take the risk, Rachel approached Michael and laid her hand on his arm.

  “I don’t want to play games, either. I’d be kidding you and myself if I said I belonged in Magnolia Blossom, Michael. I have a business proposition before a group of investors. If they give me the go-ahead, I’ll be opening my own restaurant in New York. I’ll be gone by fall, but until then I need someone to talk to about Amy and Shaun. I’m out of my element with them.”

  He glanced over his shoulder and smiled, a sadness in his eyes. “I wondered when you’d quit pretending you might stay in Magnolia Blossom.”

  “Over the past two weeks I’ve been go
ing back and forth on what I would do if my business proposal didn’t work out. I’ve allowed myself to feel guilty about wanting to take my sister and brother and leave. Not anymore. You’ve made me see that. I have to look at what’s best for everyone concerned, not in the short run but the long run. Leaving won’t be easy for them, but people move around all the time.”

  “When are you going to tell them?”

  “I want them to get to know me before we discuss leaving town.”

  “Don’t keep this a secret from them. They have a right to know, Rachel, as soon as possible.”

  “You won’t say anything until I tell them?”

  “No, but you’re wrong to keep it from them.”

  “Amy had a fit about the call to New York concerning schools. She’s still not talking to me. If I say anything now to them about leaving, they’ll close their minds completely to me, and I won’t have a chance of making us a family.”

  “Is that what you’re trying to do?”

  “Yes, of course.” Tension began to throb in her temples. Everything about her future, the children’s futures, was so up in the air. She couldn’t put anything into a neat, little package as was her custom.

  “The longer you stay here and not say anything, the more they will think you aren’t going to leave. You’ll be giving them false hope.”

  “If they shut me out, I’ll never be able to convince them there are advantages to leaving Magnolia Blossom.”

  “What?”

  “The world has so much to offer. They can make friends at their new schools. We can travel as a family during the summers and holidays. They’ll be able to see so many new things. I’ll be able to open up a whole other life for them.”

  “When? Running a restaurant will require a lot of your time. Besides, is traveling, seeing the world what’s best for them or you?”

  “For all of us.” She fired the words back, the tension in her head intensifying. “At the moment, Michael, I’m all they have.”

  “They’re involved in their church, this town. It won’t be easy.”

  “Since when have I taken the easy route?”

  His hard gaze bored into her as though trying to read what was deep in her thoughts. “I think we’d better head back.”