Why Now?

by Carey Heywood

  She comes out of her closet trying to shatter my self-control with the dress she has on.

  I drag my hand over my face and mutter, “Fuck me.”

  She presses her lips together before she does a slow spin. “Do you like it?”

  “You’re trying to kill me, aren’t you?”

  She ignores my question and heads to her dresser. I watch, transfixed as she steps into a pair of fresh panties, black ones, just like her dress.

  She then goes back to the closet, nabs a pair of knee high black boots. Unable to take my eyes off her, I lower myself onto the armchair that sits in one corner of her room. She bends at the waist, slipping her foot into one boot and slowly dragging its zipper up before repeating the process with her other boot.

  From where I’m sitting, and the angle she’s bent at, I can see straight down the top of her dress.

  Shocked, I ask, “No bra?”

  She straightens and fiddles with the neckline of her top. It’s ties at the back of her neck and is loose but covers her when she’s not bent over.

  “Do you think I need one?” She asks.

  Standing, I make my way over to her and run my hands down her arms. “You’re so beautiful. Every guy there is going to want you. Good thing you’re very taken.”

  Her smile is so bright all I can do is stare down at her. How she was single when Heath asked her to marry him, I’ll never understand.

  “Let’s go,” I say, taking her hand.

  She grabs a jacket and her purse before we leave. We take my truck. It’s old and ugly but Kacey doesn’t care about superficial shit like that.

  Reilly is waiting for us at a Mexican place called Aho Jose’s. She’s already digging into some chips and guac and working on a margarita when we get there.

  “You guys are late so I started without you,” she complains, half-standing to kiss Kacey’s cheek before lifting her chin at me.

  My little sister is a nut.

  Kacey looks at the otherwise empty booth. “Where’s Tom?”

  Tonight we were supposed to meet some guy Reilly was seeing.

  Reilly pops a guac covered chip into her mouth and talks around it. “Turns out Tom is married.”

  “What?” Kacey gasps.

  Reilly nods, “With kids.”

  “What a jerk,” Kacey snaps.

  “He didn’t tell you?” I ask, getting pissed.

  She cocks her head to the side, total attitude. “You think I’d knowingly go out with a married guy?”

  I lift both my hands to placate her. “You’re right. Want me to go kick his ass?”

  She inhales then lets out a swoosh of air. “Maybe. I’ll need at least three more drinks because I’m too sober to make up my mind right now.”

  Kacey sits, sliding across the seat to make room for me.

  While I sit, she asks, “How did you find out he was married?”

  “I Facebook stalked him. Did he think I was an idiot? I’m a motherfucking investigative reporter.”

  Deciding now is not the time to point out the stuff she reports on is if bingo night at the Baptist church is being moved to another night or not, I nod in agreement.

  “Jake and Heath excluded,” Kacey starts. “Why are guys such jerks?”

  Reilly takes another drink of her margarita before replying, “Oh, Heath might be a jerk too.”

  Kacey gasps and presses her hand to her chest. “No.”

  Reilly nods but doesn’t say anything because our server comes over. This is the only good Mexican place in town so we all have the menu memorized.

  Once the server is gone I ask, “What’s up with Heath?”

  Reilly leans forward, her eyes gleaming. “I heard Sydney Fairlane poured a soda over his head at the diner today.”

  Kacey’s jaw drops.

  Interesting, when he lost his shit over me crashing at her place I had assumed it was on Kacey’s behalf. Was I wrong? Did he have a thing going with Sydney?

  “She did not,” Kacey leans forward while Reilly nods.

  “She sure did. I wish someone took a video. Apparently, he was pissed when he left. I hope he walked, he’s so touchy about the interior of his car.”

  “He spent a lot on that Audi,” I argue.

  Expensive cars aren’t my thing but he loves that car so I respect that it’s important to him.

  Reilly shrugs. “Maybe we should grab coffee there after dinner and see if she’s working.”

  I shake my head. “Leave Sydney alone. She’s dealing with a lot of shit.”

  Kacey stiffens next to me and I drape my arm around her shoulder, pulling her close to me. “She’s a good friend. Neither of you repeat this.” I wait for Reilly to nod and then go on, “Mrs. Fairlane wants to retire, and she wants Sydney to take over. If there was one person who fought roots it’s that girl. She hasn’t decided what she’s going to do.”

  Reilly sticks out her lower lip. “Georgia wants to retire?”

  “I can’t picture Lola’s without her,” Kacey adds.

  “Neither can Sydney but she’s the only one Mrs. Fairlane will leave it to. Otherwise, she’s selling the place.”

  Reilly’s eyes widen and her jaw drops. “Sell Lola’s?”

  I nod. It sucks but change happens. That’s one place I’d love to see always stay the same.

  Our server comes out with our food. Since Reilly had a head start, we dig in while she watches.

  She uses the opportunity to tell us the reason she invited us out. “I think you guys need your space. I’m cramping your style and as long as it’s cool with you, I’m going to move out.”

  Kacey drops her fork. “Move out, what do you mean? Where would you go? You’re not cramping our style.”

  Reilly’s eyes soften and she stretches out her hand for Kacey’s. Once their hands are clasped she replies, “I am totally cramping your style. The interior walls are not the thickest and I can’t lie, I get kinda skeeved out sitting in the living room knowing the two of you are doing stuff in your room.”

  Kacey opens her mouth but Reilly keeps talking. “I love you guys together, love it. I’ve been shipping you guys as a couple since we were in high school. You need space, plus I don’t want to bring a guy back to the apartment to have my way with while my brother lives there.”

  “You’re shipping us?” Kacey asks.

  Reilly laughs, “It means I’ve always hoped you two would happen.”

  Lifting my drink I cut in, “I appreciate that.”

  “But where would you go?” Kacey murmurs.

  “There’s an advertising rep at the station who needs a roommate. She’s a single mom and is too scared to advertise a room for rent because there are crazy people out there and she has a kid to worry about.”

  “You won’t bring a guy back to the apartment because of me but you’ll do it in a house with a little kid?”

  She frowns. “It’s a two story and the second floor was converted into a one bedroom apartment so it’s not like we’re sharing anything other than a front door. But, the rent will help her out and I can babysit.”

  Babysit? I choke and Kacey lets go of Reilly’s hand to pat my back.

  They both ignore my reaction.

  “How old is the kid? And, is it a boy or a girl?” Kacey asks.

  “Little boy,” Reilly replies. “He’s three.”

  “Do three year olds sleep through the night?” I ask.

  Reilly lifts her margarita and points at it, getting our servers attention so she can order another before she answers, “Look, guys, I’m sure there will be some adjustments for me. But, I’ll be getting out of your hair and doing a favor for a friend. It’ll all work out.”

  “I worry about you,” Kacey murmurs.

  “I do too,” I add.

  Reilly winks at us. “I’m going to be just fine. I promise.”

  It hits me then, like it has more than once ever since the explosion, that you can’t assume everything will work out and that you’ll be fine. There are no
guarantees in life. Shit happens and it happens to good people every day. All you can do is make sure the people you love know it and live your life without being a dick.

  “I’m always here for you Reils. I respect your reasons for wanting to move and I’ll support you in that decision but I need you to know you don’t have to move on my account. I love you kiddo, and I only want what’s best for you.”

  She sniffles but the server arrives with her new drink so she’s composed when she replies, “I never could have asked for a better big brother. Thank you for always having my back. I love you too.”

  Kacey lifts her hands and starts fanning her eyes. “You guys are going to make me cry.”

  Tilting my face toward hers, I kiss the side of her head.

  “God, don’t take this the wrong way but I think I’ll also feel less depressingly single if I move out,” Reilly mutters before taking a gulp of her fresh drink.

  “I think this is the last box,” I mumble, shoving it onto the tailgate of Jake’s truck.

  Reilly links her arm through mine and we walk back to our apartment, now Jake’s and my apartment. It’s been the two of us against the world for so long. With her crazy schedule, I didn’t see her every day. Still, I’m going to miss our Netflix marathons and late night ice cream sundaes.

  The living room looks empty without her sofa and chair. Jake bought us a new set that we’re going to pick up on the way back from unloading Reilly.

  He also got a queen sized bed and a nice desk that will go in Reilly’s old room. We’re going to use it as an office and guest room.

  She drops my arm at the front door, and I follow her through the almost empty living room to her completely empty room. It’s so weird seeing her stuff gone.

  A couple of years ago we went to one of those wine painting things where we each painted a cherry blossom tree set against a cloudy grey sky, overlooking a pond. We each hung our painting over our beds.

  The rest of her room was usually a disaster of laundry. Half-put away and whatever clothes she decided against wearing any given day.

  Once, when I got home from work, she was napping on my bed. When I asked her why she said it was because my room was cleaner. Not counting our middle and high school years when I was at her house more than my own, I’ve lived with her for the last ten years.

  Don’t cry. Don’t cry.

  She turns to me, her eyes wet with tears. Oh crap, I’m going to cry.

  I open my arms and she hurries into them.

  “Are you sure about this?” I ask between sniffles, my voice thick.

  She nods, her forehead hitting my shoulder with each dip of her head. “I know I’m moving in with someone but the way the space is set up, it’ll really be like my own place. I need to do this or I’ll be the weird aunt living in your basement babysitting your kids in five years.”

  “So, you’ll be the crazy aunt in the basement for a stranger and babysit her kid instead,” I joke.

  “I’ll need practice,” she replies, giving me a squeeze.

  Pulling apart, we both stand there for a minute, wiping our eyes.

  “You guys okay?” Jake asks, standing in the doorway of her room.

  She waves him off. “We were having a moment.”

  His eyes move to me and I give him a shaky smile. He knows as soon as we’re back with the new furniture there’s a decent chance I’ll be crying on his shoulder.

  This is such a giant step for us. With Reilly still living here it was like we were roommates. Now that it’ll be just the two of us, it’s gone from playing house to the real thing.

  “Heath is waiting outside,” Jake says.

  Reilly’s eyes light up. “Did you ask him about Sydney?”

  Jake rolls his eyes as he turns from the door. “I’m not getting into other people’s drama Reils.”

  She follows him out arguing, “But he’s our friend, we should be there for him if he needs us.”

  Giving her room one long last look, I walk out as well.

  Jake stops by the front door, stepping aside for her to go in front of him. “If you want to know so badly, you should ask him yourself instead of trying to make me do your dirty work.”

  “You’re no fun,” she huffs, stepping outside.

  He reaches out his hand to me as I approach. Once he has it, he tugs me close, lifting my hand to open my palm and press a kiss to the center of it. “How are you holding up?”

  “The place feels empty without her,” I reply.

  “Am I a shitty substitution?” He asks.

  Shaking my head, I press in closer to him, leaning against him. “I got used to having the both of you here. I’m going to miss her.”

  “I get it, baby. We’ll have a bed she can crash on anytime she wants, and I’ll do what I can to cheer you up.”

  Tilting my face up, I press my lips to the underside of his jaw. Things change, it’s inevitable. People move and grow. Reilly and I have had an easy friendship for so long, it will take time for me to get used to the idea of her being across town instead of on the other side of the living room.

  “I’m being silly,” I murmur.

  He puts his arm around me, “I get it, baby. You want to ride with me or with her?”

  “Can I ride with her?” I ask.

  “Of course,” he replies.

  We walk out together, pausing for him to lock the door behind us. Heath is standing next to his car. He’s parked a few spots down from where Jake’s truck and Reilly’s Jeep are.

  He looks all alone and I wonder if I should offer to ride with him instead. Before I can fully consider it, he pushes himself off his car and gets in it.

  “Does Heath seem okay?” I ask.

  Jake shakes his head. He went to visit with Mrs. Mackey yesterday. Reilly and I went together last week and she didn’t seem that bad. Yesterday she had to be reminded who Jake was over and over.

  Jake told me all about it when he got home last night. Poor Heath.

  Jake walks me to the passenger side of Reilly’s ride and opens my door.

  “Wanna race?” Reilly asks.

  “Only if you want to chance your shit flying off the back of the truck,” Jake replies.

  Reilly considers this. “Fine, be careful with my stuff.”

  She turns to me, passing me her phone. I scroll to her drive playlist and hit shuffle as she backs out. Her new place is closer to their old house and my dad’s house. Not in the same development but the next one over.

  The houses are smaller and older but still nice. Julie, the woman she’s moving in with, inherited the house from an uncle.

  By car, it takes fifteen minutes to get there. Reilly parks on the street, Heath parking behind her while Jake backs his truck up in the drive. Reilly kills the engine but neither of us moves.

  “It didn’t feel real until now,” she says.

  I tear up looking at her new house. It’s a cute place, light blue siding with white shutters and a tree with a swing in the front yard.

  “If you don’t like it you could always move back,” I whisper.

  She reaches out for my hand. Heath knocks on her window as he walks past and motions for us to get a move on. She gives my hand a squeeze and then lets go.

  Heath and Jake start with the sofa. They took the legs off back at our place but there’s still a chance they won’t be able to get it up the stairs.

  Reilly and I offer advice, her from the top of the stairs, me from the bottom until Jake tells both of us to shut it. Heath laughs and his expression is so different from the lonely one he had in the parking lot I forget to be annoyed that Jake told me to shut it.

  Then, with some cursing and brute strength from Jake and Heath, the sofa makes it up the stairs. Reilly comes down and together we carry her box spring up.

  Jake and Heath handle the heavier stuff before Heath takes off. Then it’s just the three of us carrying up boxes of her clothes and her other crap.

  Once the last box is in, she calls the pizza place
to have them deliver lunch. Last night she did some light grocery shopping to get drinks, paper plates, and plastic silverware.

  If she hasn’t unpacked her dishes by next weekend, I’ll come over and do it for her. I would have done it today if Jake and I weren’t picking up our new furniture.

  While we wait for the pizza, we arrange and rearrange her living room and bedroom.

  “I’m not crazy about the paint color in here,” she announces, her eyes on the butter yellow wall of her bedroom.

  “Will Julie be cool with you painting?” I ask.

  She lifts a shoulder. “I haven’t asked but I’m going to.”

  Turning to look out of her room and towards the stairs I ask, “Where is she?”

  Reilly, pushes her dresser closer to the corner. “She didn’t want Dylan to be in our way so she took him to the park.” She slips her phone out of her back pocket and checks the time. “She should be back soon.”

  Jake walks in carrying two pizza boxes. “Food’s here.”

  “Jake,” Reilly grumbles. “I was going to pay for that.”

  He smirks. “Consider it a housewarming present.”

  He’s joking since we bought her a new coffee table as a present since the one back at the apartment is mine.

  She moves toward him, urging him backwards and toward her little kitchenette. He relinquishes the boxes to her and makes me a drink.

  We all sit around her coffee table and start to eat.

  We’re interrupted not long after by a small voice at the bottom of the stairs calling, “Hello, is it cool if Dylan and I come up?”

  Reilly stands, grabbing a napkin to wipe her hands. “Sure, come on up.”

  A minute later, a pretty brunette with a cute little boy on her hip comes into view.

  Reilly reaches out for Dylan and he goes to her happily. She’s bouncing him as she introduces Julie to us.

  When Jake reaches up to shake her hand she reddens and I bite back a grin. He should come with a warning label—he’s so good looking, no one is immune.

  “It’s so nice to meet you,” I say as she shakes my hand.

  Reilly is showing Dylan around, her voice soft as she tells him which room is which. He stares up at her with the sweetest baby face.